I still think about my ex everyday, and sometimes wonder what would happen if I contacted her, even after all the cr*p that happened.

Im with someone who I don't think I love right now, but we have fun together.

I still feel sad thinking about the past sometimes, and its been 11 months almost.

Advice please

I'm 14 months in and I get sad from time to time. I've realized that it has more to do with me than with her at this point. She contacted me about a month ago wanting to touch base with me, but I continued ignoring her attempts at "friendship". She did tell me about her life. From her descriptions I've realized how far apart we've grown, and how vastly different our paths have gone. I've realized despite how much I've missed her or how much I once loved her, it can never be again. We are too different, I scarcely agree with any of her life choices, and she keeps wanting me to just be her friend, give her advice, to tell her how good she is doing. I was always sort of a mentor to her. But I can't subject myself to that anymore, I can't give and give in, and be there when it's convenient for her.

Sean, if you contact her you might be surprised to find you've gone in radically different directions in life. You might find what I found, which is the realization that it is in the past. I will keep my fond memories of her, good and bad. I am forever changed since I knew her, she softened me in a lot of ways, but that realization is invincible. You may feel sad for some while longer, but as time passes and you grow stronger, inevitably, you will come to a fork in the road that you won't turn back from. Do you accept it or do you risk going through this rollercoaster again?

Thanks Enigmagnetic, I didn't even know someone replied to my last message which was on Aug 4th. I came back here today as I still feel confused in my mind about what to do.

Your message is very true, we may have taken completely separate paths. It doesn't help that we live only walking distance apart, and I have so many memories of us together in that area, where I drive past everyday.

Im still with my current girlfriend, but I now believe I got with her too soon after the break up. At the time, I thought I was fully healed, but I was so naïve and wrong. Its affecting the relationship now. Its been 7 months, I don't feel 'loved up', I don't show any affection hardly, and I feel that being in the new relationship is stopping me from healing properly. I could be wrong, I just wonder how I might be now, had I not started a new relationship so soon.

Whenever I turn the radio on, recently more and more of the songs that remind me of my ex are playing, even OUR song has recently played been on a few times, and in the back of my mind I can't help but think maybe it's a sign to contact her. Its been a year now. Im being ridicolous maybe. But that's how I feel and think when I here the songs.

I also sometimes think that she could be feeling the same thing I am, and maybe we are both too scared to contact the other, in fear of being rejected. She also is in a relationship, and maybe is feeling what I do.

Perhaps this is just wishfull thinking. My friends would think I'm mad if I tried to get into contact with her now, with the aim of getting back with her.

Advice anyone.

Leave her alone, and take care of your own feelings, as you DON'T know anything of hers.

As for your present relationship, be honest, and up front with your partner, and don't lead them on.

Thanks Talaniman

I have spoke to my current girlfriend about the situation a number of times in the past 7 months. She knows the situation, the story etc. She doesn't know that I feel I should contact my ex though. She wants to stay with me, in hope that I get better, and we can be happy together. I don't want to break up with her, as I feel we could work well, if it wasn't for the issues I have with the past.

I need a change of lifestyle to help me forget the problem. At the moment I'm doing the same thing everyday, and the same old memories are playing on my mind.

Is it true that "If someone is on your mind all the time, then maybe they are supposed to be there".. I read that quote somewhere and feel it may apply to me.

Thanks

Yeah man I dig. But, honestly you could be setting yourself up for massive pain. What if she doesn't feel the way you do? You essentially go back to square 1. I can only imagine that would be a huge set back. Let it be man. Is there anything left to try with the new girl? I'd try my hardest to make it work with her. Don't worry about healing you might have missed out on - I'd love a new girl I was into digging me right now.

The risk in contacting her is huge I reckon. No more memories, no more thoughts. Repeat that to yourself.

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Is it true that "If someone is on your mind all the time, then maybe they are supposed to be there"..

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I am not quite sure about that. I would say if someone is on your mind all the time its because you want them to be, you never let go and because the situation you are in at the moment might not be fulfilling you. It might not have to do with you current girlfriend, it might be the lifestyle you lead as you said. Also the fact that you have been with your current girlfriend for 7 months but are not in love with her. That is a constant reminder on how you once were in love and how much better it felt.