Ask Me Help Desk - Feel Used

Well get over that feeling. You will not feel any better for making the call.

You will feel a lot better cleaning your closet than calling him and dredging up past misery. We all get those feelings and we can't act on them because we know it will do no good. Clean your closet and organise your cabinets. Anything but the wrong thing.

Well, thanks for the advice... I didn't call and I'm so glad I didn't... I'm beginning to a lot less sad... I just hope this is all over soon...

I am so glad to hear that. Keep up the good work.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

Hi my name is Monica and I feel so bad. My boyfried of 5 years broke up with me for the 4th time. I don't understand why.. I did eveything he wanted me to do. He saw me whenever he wanted or had "time for me". I was always there for him.. Gave him money when he needed without expecting anything but love from him.. took him to work, bought him food, treated him when we would go out, you name it i did it for him.. I don't know why he would do that to me.. I don't understand why he was like that to me.. He never wanted to go to parties, family gatherings, clubs or out with my friends... he just always wanted to be home alone with me..He said" he wanted to have me all to himself" He never even introduced me to his family or wanted to meet mine...
I am having a really hard time to get over him..he really hurt me and i feel so used.. All fo the sudden he just broke up with me for no reason... What should i do?

All the good girls are always with the Jerks what the heck!

Well... he called me last night. I missed the call but he did leave me a message, telling me that he just wanted to know how I was doing and to ask me if I had ever try calling him back... now, I have all these mixed feeling again.

Did you call him? I wouldn't call him, let him suffer for once. I know this is hard, and it is a very trying time for you sweetie but you can do this, you have all of us on here to talk to and you have all your friends out there. Remember that!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

Hi my name is Monica and I feel so bad. My boyfried of 5 years broke up with me for the 4th time. I don't understand why.. I did eveything he wanted me to do. He saw me whenever he wanted or had "time for me". I was always there for him.. Gave him money when he needed without expecting anything but love from him.. took him to work, bought him food, treated him when we would go out, you name it i did it for him.. I don't know why he would do that to me.. I don't understand why he was like that to me.. He never wanted to go to parties, family gatherings, clubs or out with my friends... he just always wanted to be home alone with me..He said" he wanted to have me all to himself" He never even introduced me to his family or wanted to meet mine...
I am having a really hard time to get over him..he really hurt me and i feel so used.. All fo the sudden he just broke up with me for no reason... What should i do?

“Time is one of the essential ingredients. Each day brings 86,400 seconds. Whatever isn't used is gone forever.” Anony..

With that being said, live your life, and don't contact him.. People just don't break up for No reason, There may have been warning signs or maybe the relationship was already on the rocks, which it was if he keep breaking up with you. And every time you allow him back you reopen the wound..
No contact is highly recommended it's not how much you do for him But what are you doing for yourself! Besides he needs to get himself together.

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever...”
Isak Dinesen

He can't use you if you don't allow him.. Don't give him too much control.. You be the best YOU that you can be, and because you have loved you must also learn to let go...

He is still the same jerk, he may just be in between victims. Suck up those feelings and keep moving on. Don't give him a second thought.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

He is still the same jerk, he may just be in between victims. Suck up those feelings and keep moving on. Don't give him a second thought.

Exactly... you have come this far Monica , don't go back to square 1.

He called me again yesterday... then, later on went to my house without letting me know.. the next thing I knew my dad told me someone was looking for me at the door and it was him.. I felt weird! Happy and angry at the same time
He just went to my house to tell me he wanted to be friends how stupid is that? I feel so bad.. I started to feel all those old feelings again.. someone help, what should I do?

Tell him "that is not a good idea and please leave me alone" You don't owe him anything and you certainly don't need to "go there" with him again.
You are doing great! Hang in there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Tell him "that is not a good idea and please leave me alone" You don't owe him anything and you certainly don't need to "go there" with him again.
You are doing great!. Hang in there.

I agree with Homegirl on this... he had his chance and blew it. If you take him back expect to go through the same thing all over again. People like that don't change over anything less than a near death experience.

I feel horrible.. =( he went to my house again and he had to show up with bite marks all over his neck..! I felt like my heart broke all over again. I told him to leave that I didn't want to know anything about him and that to forget about me because I was going to forget about him.. I feel so sad! I don't know what to do... I even changed my cell phone # so he wouldn't call me anymore.. I feel depressed

He is a loser and be glad you are not with him. The fact that he would do that should convince him that you are better off without him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

i feel horrible.. =( he went to my house again and he had to show up with bite marks all over his neck..!! i felt like my heart broke all over again. I told him to leave that i didn't want to know anything about him and that to forget about me because i was going to forget about him.. i feel so sad! i don't know what to do... i even changed my cell phone # so he wouldn't call me anymore..i feel depressed

No made the step you needed to take... you got rid of a loser that wanted to use you. Keep up N/C give it a month or two, hang out with your lady friends and after a few months the pain will subside then you start looking for a new guy friend. And use what you learned from this loser to avoid his type again. Don't make the mistake many women make. Chasing after the same bad boy type that treats them like dirt, over and over again.

is it normal to fell as though this was my fault? I feel horrible... I feel so sad =(
what should I do to stop this feeling ?

Don't you start blaming yourself! You didn't do this, he did this to himself! You deserve so much better then that jerk, how dear him show up at your house with bite marks on his neck? Let me guess he got into a fight with a vacume? Hes a LOSER stay away from him, good for you changing your cell phone number. You will meet a nice guy soon enough!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mon3yca15

is it normal to fell as though this was my fault? i feel horrible... i feel so sad =(
what should i do to stop this feeling ?

Yes its normal, but its not all your fault, build a life without the ex, and learn to love yourself. That and time, will heal those fresh wounds in your soul.

Ever since I saw him the last time I've been feeling really sad. I can't eat, I can't concentrate and when I'm asleep I dream about him... I've been crying too much and I don't even want to go out anymore... I feel like I'm depressed! I don't know how to get him out of my mind. What should I do??