Wildcat, apparently you don't either.
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Wildcat, apparently you don't either.
I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!! My s/o does the same thing! I got smart and learned how to steer the argument back on path.Quote:
Originally Posted by tjr
OK these questions were based on my boyfriend . If you read my life story which is posted and have read my questions . Can you please tell me what I can do. To stop the fights . All I ask is for him to treat me like I treat him . I do everything I can for him . Only once in a blue moon do I tell him no. sex is no fun for me anymore , its all about him.I get left hangging wet. If you know what I mean.all promises are broke . Every time he says he going to do something it either don`t get done or gets half done.like today he said I will
Have the trash picked up from his computer and 10 loads of laundry. Yes I knew it was to high of a goal I would have been happy a couple loads of laundry trash picked up. You know what was done 1 load of laundry .I was at
Work 8 hrs and all he did was one load of laundry . I say something to him on this he drops a lit ciggerate(bad spelling) on the floor while telling me he don`t care. Taking the dsl modem from me . OK it started like this I came home he wasn`t home I went to his moms and gave his moms boyfriend some chocolate cand since I work in a chocolate factory .this I was asked to do by my boyfriend. OK I set there a bit my feet hurt.well my boyfriend and his moms boyfriend don`t like each other.I got dirty looks I told him I was resting my feet before I walked home. Well he said then internet wasn`t working .I was like did you call them nhe said no.so I sat awhile while he left and went with him sisters boyfriend.I went home and called and fixed the net.then got hungry took my can soup to his moms to eat because we have no fridge or stove or microwave yet.on my way down I noticed he was at his sisters. Well I figured if he wanted to spend time with me he would come do that.well went and cooked my soup ate it . Was a little fustrated so I went to his sisters . Asked him what he was doing.
Waiting for the laundry to dry so I waited with him . He never spoke to me till the laundry was done then he said take this over there and throw it at him. It was a bag of clean dry towels of his mothers so I did and came back . He said nothing to me just got rdy to leave I followed .we got outside I said I need to barrow some dog food from his moms for our dog so I went in to his moms asked for some dog food and I got it got in his moms truck with dead tags with my boyfriend . We rode home. Get home . He goes straight to park magnager and begins to chat with him. I told him to try and hurry . I heard he was going to go do some under the table work at 6pm and it was almost five I need some stuff off his computer wich I couldn`t find.well it takes him 25mins to come inside. He gives me dirty looks and says you know what you haven`t done since you got home. I am like what . He messes around making his lips like kissing. I said I know I haven`t kissed you . You haven`t seemed to have wanted to be near me for more then 2 minutes.then he proceeds to go off on me . So I say calm down why you acting like this .I was trying to talk to him not start a fight but it seems he wanted a fight so he could leave then he proceeds to drop the cig. He tose the dsl modem around in the air I say . I work and am paying the bills what are you going to take the only thing I have to do from me besides work? he gets even more y and throws the modem on the couch by me and leaves. On his way out I said I wish you would learn the saying do on to other as you wish they would do onto you.
What does this mean .am I stupid . Some part of me wants to give up.save my money and move out another part of me says you love him you can`t just give up. I am so confussed . No matter what I say its not right.I can`t be unhappy or he yells at me makes it my fault.turning it on me . I wait till he leaves and cry .cause I can`t find anything else to do . It hurts.
Kind of simple hun. He takes you for granted. He doesn't respect you.
You're too availablr too him. He walks all over you.
Sorry for the tough love. You really should not be in this relationship at all.
I didn`t think so .but come nov will tell all I will find out if my 3 reason for living are still there . I don`t have time to move out . Get away .before then.I have no money right now so .I am pretty well skrewed I have no family .I am all alone besides my 3 angels which may be gone soon.
Cess - hun, you have to be tough about this.
He doesn't work?
He did got fired .I just started working last Saturday. Be strong I can`t when your strong for so long there is a point when you can`t do it anymore. That is where I am .
I just got through reading your life's story... Sorry, but after waking up and reading your last post, I've come to the personal conclusion that you have not made any choices here. You will not make any staying in the 'feel sorry for me' level. You are not the only one with problems that get over our heads, and will not be the last. Yes your childhood was good, but too controlled? How do you feel about being controlled now? You have had three children, then out of a whim left them with an underaged 'nanny'. We have been on soapbox after soapbox with our opinions here and I bet you did not take much time reading them. I am truly sorry about your previous life, and your current situation. Did you get your kids back? Do you think that living the way you do right now is the right environment for them? You left home early, your kids will do the same unless you do something to change. You had fights in school and bullied others. Your kids will do the same as hey pick things up like a sponge,and what they are soaking up right now is not healthy for their growth nor yours. If I were you, I'd get a place, no matter how small, concentrate on your children and start a life without men for a while. You are still dwelling on the past but have not learned from it and your kids need you. They lost a father - how do you think they feel losing you too? The heck with wanting to know why about these types of guys , dump him and give you and your children another chance to have a healthy and active life.
Your questions starting this thread should have been: how do I go on raising my children as best as I can?; how and why is it important to have a stable environment for them?; how can I help them get over their loss and where can I go to get assistance in helping my kids grow up to be educated, healthy, and selfsupporting individuals?
Until the questions are answered by you and others, forget about the simple questoins about men and throw this one out of your life. Good luck in getting to know your kids better.
As I said before . I do not have enough time before nov to get my own place. There is no way I could now. I am doing what I can and have to do to get them back. But , its hard to try when one child doesn`t think your there mom the other younger one knows who you are but don`t care either way . And the oldest keeps telling childern services that he don`t care where he goes as long as he can see his friends . That there makes me want to give up. But I keep going .I keep trying . As for leaveing my boyfriend I fell in love with him and since our last fight I posted we have gotten along fine . All I want to do is fix my place up have my childern with me clean house cook food . I don`t need anything else. As long as I do thoughs things my boyfriend and I will not fight . I keep my mouth shut and it will work out fine .If I can get the house fixed up that is .
OK, I know where you are coming from, you are giving up and compromising in your present relationship so that you can gain your children back. No matter what you do, you know it's going to be a very touch road and I wish there were someone else there to help you along your way, I truly do. Because he will set off on you if you don't do exactly what he wants when he wants it. He will hold this over your head until you have your kids, which might take a long time, as there are mixed feelings there with them about you, and a court or other public office will probably have to get involved here - I hope to your advantage. Since you have a 'past' you will have to do a bit of convincing there too. Boy, if you succeed in this goal that you set for yourself, you'll be able to handle anything else that comes your way. Your children might get to know you and love you all over again, they have probably been manipulated against you and will also need some professional assistance. I know you'll think this will cost, but there should be churches, child centers, and other agencies that offer help to the needy, so try your best to find the help you and the kids need once together again. I sure hope that by Christmas, you will be able to have a picture taken where all of you are smiling and anxious to start on your new lives together.
But after this long road is over, I'd still kick the jerk out - this however, is only my opinion. Good Luck.
When men make a comment they are to the point and that's the end of that; as far as they are concerned. Why keep pondering on the subject when each has given their opinion? Some women like to keep the subject going until all related questions are answered; some as if they are writing a book on the subject. When we disagree he makes his comment; I make mine and that ends it. We each think about what the other said,respect their opinion and move on. Sometimes it still hurts but you can't let it interfere with the love and life you share.
Good question, about the pondering, since the last post here was in October...Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabemarried
By the way, welcome to the forum and I hope you find some interesting current posts to answer to. Enjoy your stay with us, as this is one of the best forums you could ever have joined!
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Well let me tell you why guys do that. Simple. Guys have two sides on and off. Women have so much stuff going on in there heads. Similar to all the controls in an airplane cockpit.Quote:
Originally Posted by cess
So, basically most men are stupid. On or off. Women, well they are complicated.
For a man to state that men are stupid seems illogical to me and not too self-confident.Quote:
Originally Posted by blueiman
Also, when men state the women are as complicated as a cockpit, it, to me, means that "I've tried it, didn't understand it, so giving up"
Which is the same as "been there, done that, and too hard for me to waste my time and/or energy on"
OK, I understand how you feel about that. First men are stupid and I'm sure you have said that to yourself or your girlfriends. Yes?Quote:
Originally Posted by Chery
Not self-confident... not what I mean.
Giving up... no, again not what I mean.
Men and women do stupid stuff when it comes to a relationship. I have done stupid stuff. But, it's OK and I accept that. I know when I do stupid stuff I simply take responsibility for my actions. And, I laugh and say boy men are stupid.
I agree: WE ALL do stupid things in life, and mostly when it comes to relationships. But we have the ability to learn from our mistakes. This makes us unique. I've never considered a man stupid, just some of the things he does, as well as the stupid things women do. That's why there are forums like this - because we all have a few quirks and need help working them out. The great thing about life, we always have another day to look forward to and something new to learn.Quote:
Originally Posted by blueiman
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Thanks chery for understanding my statement. Correct! The things men/women do are stupid. That is what I meant.;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Chery
Ok I have been gone awhile . Thought I would update a little . I am no longer with the same guy I have moved away and still speak with him but I rufuse to see him in person . I don`t want contact so I don`t have that erge to return to where I had someone even though he only acted like he cared once and awhile. I have gotten a job and will be getting a place on the feb 9th 2006 and my childern will be being returned to me at that time.
I hope you all like the update I am proud I finally got the guts to leave even knowing how hard it was to do it I think it is for the best.:)
Dear Cess, I'm so glad you finally reached your goal! I too am proud of you and hope that all will be well from now on. You will have other problems to face in the future - with your children, but believe me, those problems will be worth solving any time!Quote:
Originally Posted by cess
My heart is filled with happiness and all the best wishes in the world for you and hope that you remember us when those hard times come along - it's easier when you have someone to share with and not keep it bottled up. So, please don't forget to keep us posted.
Again, Good Luck to you and your Angels!
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Cess! Fantastic! I am proud of you. Your life will be so much better.
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