Now that is a happy ending, and shows true love, by being willing to work together to solve your problems. Most people break up because they are unwilling to do the work it takes to build and maintain, a relationship. Bravo!!

Its nice to hear a happy ending on here, its not very often that happens... its nice to hear that other people are able to work things out and as talaniman said that's true love and as the saying goes its conqures all!

There has to be an equal need to make up and work at the relationship that's why I think no contact is good, on the one hand you can heal if it is all over and on the other it may just give your ex the push they need to decide if it is what they really want... it all depends on the individual situation!

I think it's fair to say that the majority of the time your ex comes back after NC you're actually over it and don't want them back.
I for one know that my ex's behaviour since we broke up has been so bad that I couldn't ever get back with her.

Yeah we got back together as well after 2 weeks of NC. So it does happen, although our situation was a very different one.

I don't think No Contact is for them to come back to you. It's for you to learn, heal and move on to bigger and better things in life. If you really want them to come back, there's a lot more work to do then not contacting them.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by EuRa

Yeah we got back together as well after 2 weeks of NC. So it does happen, although our situation was a very different one.

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No different than anyone else's, and the jury is out as to how successful, this will turn out. Be advised you have work to do to reconcil your differences, and pass the test of time.

Im confused now, people who want their ex's back should try and make things up with them? Is that what your saying?

I thought every time you broke no contact it pushed them away, as I've seen on previous stories, I thought you were supposed to chase etc

I know n/c is for you to heal but if I want my ex back am I doing the wrong thing then? I'm so confused!!

I know this is a bit late but... this will EXPLAIN MANY THINGS, so read on.

First of all, just because a couple decided to break up doesn't mean that they can't be great together. Although chemistry is very important to bond two people together, there are other things way more important to keep a healthy relationship going. For an example, if you are very clingy and don't fix it, people are bound to break up with you. That means there can't be someone "right" for you until you fix yourself. And THAT also means that as long as you know what to do in a relationship, you and your mate can be great for each other.

Now, the no contact rule increases the chance of getting your ex back and this is why:

-First of all, you're respecting their decision. This is very important to prevent any guilty/negative feelings, which will also annoy them.

-Secondly, it shows life's like without you.

-Third, it creates a feeling of rejection toward them[Check in "RULES IN HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY" to know why rejection is the key].

-Fourth, it gives time for them to miss you(if you keep bugging them, they won't miss you. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder.")

-Fifth, it makes it easier for you to get hurt, and gives time to fix and renovate yourself.




RULES IN HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY:
The one who gets broken up with becomes more desperate. Why? Because think about it.

You're being "rejected." When you get dumped, you feel that hope is all lost because it seems the person no longer doesn't want you.

Vice versa, if YOU'RE the dumper and your ex keeps begging you back, you don't have to worry about him/her and you'll just tend to other things. "People want what they can't have." "You don't know what you've got until you've lost it." In this case, your ex didn't lose anything because you're still following them around and they have the POWER to get back with you anytime they want: you can't, so your feeling of loss makes you desperate. People don't tend much to what they have, but more on what they don't have.

This is why this happened to j9s:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by j9s

A month or so ago we broke up for the final time. I thought it ended mutually, but since then she has been trying to get ME back. SHE is now the one that wants to get back together! She has all these ideas of what went wrong, how it will be different, and how I am the perfect guy for her. We have totally switched places!!

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You see, you turned the tables just by "rejecting" her. You don't feel the loss as much as she does.

As you can see, rejection is very powerful. After you've been dumped, simply telling her "I've realized that the break-up was a good idea" can turn the tables. She'll feel this rejection and start becoming a little desperate in the inside, and then you'll feel less desperate knowing that she kindof wants you back.

A tip for no contact:
Make this a rule. If you ever feel like you'll have to send her a message about something, wait it out at 1-2 days. You'll realize that it's not a good idea and it was just a moment in desperation.


Random Idea:
True loyalty does not exist. People do what makes them feel "positive" against what makes them feel "negative." For an example, this is why most people won't cheat because society label cheaters very negatively. You'll feel so guilty that you refrain from cheating. However, if you feel so excited "flirting" with someone else, that positive emotion overpowers the negative and therefore you are more likely to cheat.