Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend of 5years is breaking up with me.

He has the answers to the questions, all the knowledge that we bring to him. It's all a matter of whether he wants to apply himself.

This girl is sucking the life out of him and has forgotten what it is to be truly happy. He went back to his addiction and that's all he knows, staying in his comfort zone.

Crazy, I'm rooting for you man.. but when the inevitable happens and unlike her, we will be here.

Has he been back?

Crazy do not quit on us now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

Crazy do not quit on us now.

I think she has made him. One way or another, I'm afraid he will be back.

He came in here for help, and he got it... but it looks like she has come into his life to throw it all out the window.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ajGambino

I think she has made him. One way or another, I'm afraid he will be back.

He came in here for help, and he got it...but it looks like she has come into his life to throw it all out the window.

Well believe it or not I hope your right. Because maybe he needs to see it first hand again to realize what's going on. At some point he's got to say myself respect are worth more then she is treating me. Maybe one more ride on the merry go round will jar him enough to wake up to see it.

Hi everyone... its been a long time since you've heard from me... Heres my update:

We are back together. She has changed her ways in every sense. If she begins to even start to do what she used to or begins to say anything... then I put my foot down and leave. I tested this theory out the other day when she got upset for no apparent reason... she just wanted to revert back to her usual old self.

So, what I did was to be a hard and you know what? She came crawling back to me and apologized. Here's the deal:

Everything everyone's said, including me may be right. But the thing is that at the moment... and it has been 2 months now, she has really changed her ways. I'm looking at this objectively and she knows that I won't tolerate any of her bullsh$t anymore.

As for me, I still treat her with respect etc... but I think because of what we went through all this time... she realizes that she Fu$k up and that she doesn't want to lose me anymore.

I'm in a holding pattern but accepting of her and her new ways. She still has some things to prove to me... like if she can continue treating me with respect and all... and so for the moment, everything is peaches and cream.

I will update you guys on what happens because, aug. is going to be a very interesting month. She wants me to move in with her. I agreed but like I said, I think it will be make or break with this new living arrangement...

I'm sure you have comments and I welcome any thoughts... thanks for all your help and I really would not have been able to make it this far without it!

:)

Holy crap.

I just read most of your thread from the very beginning and jumped to the end and I didn't expect this at all. I'm really excited for you. I'm glad that you're happy.

HOWEVER:

Please be cautious. Take it SLOW. I don't think moving in with each other so soon is a very good idea. I don't think people can change that fast and it might be best for both of you to see each other a few times a week but still continue on with your own lives so those changes can really stick.

I don't want to be the "Negative Nancy," but you are still on thin ice here. My on/off boyfriend of 7 years just broke up for the 3rd or 4th time a little over a month ago (he ended it like he always does). I'm still hurt about it but with each day it gets better. I'm on day... 14? Of no contact and though it hurts I am getting through it. When we ended it I asked him if it was over for good this time and he gave me the same answer he always does, "I can't predict the future. Don't worry about if we do or don't get back together. Whatever happens, happens." Right now I am also dealing with a "mutual friend" who is stirrin' up sh*& and telling me what the ex has been up to: "the break up is starting to hit him and he feels really lonely. He loves you so much but he still thinks he made the right decision. He just doesn't know where he's going in his life and needs to get himself together." But he said that the ex has told everyone that has asked that he wouldn't get back together with me under any circumstances. It hurt so much to hear that, considering that my ex told me different.

This "friend" is an attention seeker and always makes everything about himself and he was one of the stresses in our relationship and I really think (especially after talking to other friends about it) that he is trying to keep us apart so I hung up on him. And he's been trying to get in contact with me for the last 2 days apologizing but then saying that he doesn't think I have a right to be pissed at him because he was just being honest and saying that he is so upset for hurting me that he "just doesn't know what he'll do." Ugh! Drama! This isn't high school anymore! So I'm not going to contact him.

Anyway, that was a long rant about my problems. BUT I am happy for you and I really hope that at some point I can be back with my ex (the love of my life) like you are.

one more ride on the merry go round will jar him enough to wake up to see it.

Believe me everyone... I do have this advice and words of wisdom in my mind... fyi...

Hi everyone!

Well... I can't F believe it... but you guys were right.

Yesterday when I was over at my GF apt... we were talking and she told me that she wasn't "happy" and that she didn't want to "stick" by me while I am trying to put my life back together... she wants to move on with her life and basically told me how selfish I was for not wanting her to move on...

She was crying hysterically and screaming while she was telling me all of this. I had no idea she was going to "dump" me yet again... but she did! :O

The only thing that is different this time around for me, was that I am not sad at all from it. I haven't cried or felt bad or anything... im like "well, I know her number and I'm surprised she did this again to me after professing her love blah blah blah...

But I am disappointed because I really thought that she would change this time and you know what people?

She told me that I was the SAME GUY as before...

Anyhoo... I asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said yes and I left her on the balcony crying. She is really MS Queen DRAMA! And drama, I don't want in my future...

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know the latest.

As far as today is concerned, I haven't heard a peep from her and I haven't contacted her.

Again, I told her that I had to get some things done in my life and that I wouldn't be able to live with her until December... and that was just a fact of life... take it or leave it. And with that... she said that she didn't have to live with my choice and dumped me.

I do have clothes and other stuff in her apt... and her key but she as of yet, hasn't communicated with me.

Personally, I think that she's surprised that I gave HER the ultimatium and that she didn't like that... and so she dumped me.

Any comments... I KNOW you guys have some..

Thanks.

Good riddence... :cool:

how many times before you finally let her go? It took my NPD girlfriend and me 7 years before I was like enough is enough. We broke up 3 or 4 times. One time we broke up for 9 months... while she F'ed other guys. One time we broke up for 2 or 3 months, while she F'ed other guys.. I always remained faithful and single waiting for her. Took 7 years of that abuse before I left and since I've left I've been on TONS of dates.. casually dated a girl for 2 months.. Made hot steamy love on my X's birthday.. (completely unintentional, it was just ironic that it was on her bday). I am just saying to took me 7 years to realize that I wasn't the problem and that it was her. Stop trying to make it work with her and start making it work with new ones! You will be surprised how amazing dating new women are when you were in a hell relationship for so long. Night and Day.

Hi kctiger...

Yeah... im not unhappy about that but I just don't understand her. I really think that maybe she has some psychological problems. Because its just so harsh. What person is like this? You know? Anyway, the ironic thing is that she blamed ME for all of it.

Like you know, she's a beautiful woman but I feel kind of like a pig for saying this... but this time around... she's gotten well, "older"... and some of her beauty has faded. If that means that id be stuck with a woman whose no longer pretty AND is this way TOO... well then what was the point of it?

Again, sorry to say that but that's how I feel... dont mean to sound like bad guy.

No matter how much beauty someone has on the outside, the inner beautfy (or lack thereof) eventually shows...

Everyone...

So I just got a call from our mutual friend...

Haven't heard from this guy in months... and now out of the blue he calls me and asks how things are going with her.

I tell him...

He says he's going to talk to her. So obviously, she contacted him so that he could call me and find out what I'm thinking and all...

Sheesshhh! Well at least that's what I think... what do you think?

I think that the Jerry Springer yo-yo show should have ended a long time ago. Block both of their numbers and let those two date... the drama queens will be perfect together.

Lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

Hi everyone!

well.....i can't F believe it....but you guys were right.

Well, if it makes you feel better we can't believe it either. We really thought she'd change this time.

BWhahaaha. That was hard for me to say. We really didn't.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

Yesterday when i was over at my GF apt....we were talking and she told me that she wasnt "happy" and that she didnt want to "stick" by me while i am trying to put my life back together...she wants to move on with her life and basically told me how selfish i was for not wanting her to move on.....

So she's not willing to wait by you, well you put your life together but your are the selfish one. Where I'm from, we call people like that hypocrites.

By the way, I'm not exactly sure what is wrong with you life, but one big improvement was the girl, so she's actually nice enough to do you a favor.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

she was crying hysterically and screaming while she was telling me all of this. i had no idea she was going to "dump" me yet again...but she did!! :O

So she's crying, while she's dumping you. Serious emotional problems.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

the only thing that is different this time around for me, was that i am not sad at all from it. i havent cried or felt bad or anything....im like "well, i know her number and im surprised she did this again to me after professing her love blah blah blah......

How could you cry or be upset, you may not want to have accepted it, but you knew this was the outcome.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

but i am disappointed because i really thought that she would change this time and you know what people?

she told me that i was the SAME GUY as before.....

You mean caring and sensitive to her feelings. F*** her. F*** everything about this bottom feeding b*tch. You have spent since February and before jumping through every hoop she has put in front of you, and at the end she says you are selfish and the same as before. Let her cry, let her be hysterical, let her get hit by a semi, because this loser deserves any horrible thing that can happen to her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

anyhoo....i asked her if she wanted me to leave and she said yes and i left her on the balcony crying. she is really MS Queen DRAMA! and drama, i dont want in my future.....

In the future when you get dumped, don't ask to leave. Having said that, she is so stupid, she didn't realize what a gift she gave you. Freedom and positive mental health.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

again, i told her that i had to get some things done in my life and that i wouldnt be able to live with her until December....and that was just a fact of life....take it or leave it. and with that...she said that she didnt have to live with my choice and dumped me.

I can't imagine moving in with this attitude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

i do have clothes and other stuff in her apt....and her key but she as of yet, hasnt communicated with me.

If they are not important or worth much I'd write them off and buy new clothes. If they are, I'd make that call now and get this done. You taking action to end this doesn't give her a means to call you in the future.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

personally, i think that she's surprised that i gave HER the ultimatium and that she didnt like that....and so she dumped me.

She's not used to being on the other side. Unlike her, I commend you for standing her down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

any comments....i KNOW you guys have some....!

thnx.

The merry go round is stopped. Go ride something else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

like you know, she's a beautiful woman but i feel kinda like a pig for saying this...but this time around....she's gotten well, "older" ....and some of her beauty has faded.

Maybe some of her beauty faded because she's an ugly b*tch. I've never seen her and I can tell you that. I've dated extremely beautiful women too, and that usually means they come with a sense of entitlement that they are better then everybody else. To be very honest with you, I find women society considers "10's" both that I've dated and known to be actually missing something. They expect that you are going to lie down for them and give them what they want. Low and behold look what happened to your situation. You gave her whatever she wanted and when you finally stood your ground she cried and dumped you. Let someone else who is desperate to be seen with a hot chick have her. You should be deserperate to be seen with a strong man who can look himself in the mirror and know that his self respect is more important then some girl's looks.

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

everyone.....

so i just got a call from our mutual friend........

havent heard from this guy in months....and now out of the blue he calls me and asks how things are going with her.

i tell him...

he says hes gonna talk to her. ? so obviously, she contacted him so that he could call me and find out what im thinking and all....

sheesshhh! well at least thats what i think...what do u think?

Why are you doing this? END THIS BS!

Thank you chuff!

I just got an email from her... ill post it in a sec...