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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

okay thanks romefalls19!

and that includes our mutual friend too?

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Yes indeed, absolutely! Every and all connections to her, no matter who.

He isn't a very good "friend" anyway... one of my friends goes through this kind of stuff, I NEVER bring up the ex around them... just common sense and respect!

OK thanks everyone... will do. But... he has been calling me 3 times already today!! Leaving voicemail!

What do you recommend I do? I don't want him calling me everyday to "check in on how im doing" u know? I'm sure that my EX wants him to talk to me so that she wonders what I thought about her emails! THAT I NEVER READ!! :)

Anyway, this mutual friend is getting on my nerves because of him calling me. He has my email address as it is so no need to change my phone numbr because he will just email me!

Or maybe he will get the message if I don't call him back... to leave me alone.

Help.. advice please.

He will get the message... just ignore and move on. Focus on yourself, and don't worry about him or her.

Just go on ignoring him, he has been ignoring your requests for space... he will eventually get fed up of being put in the middle if you aren't involved and he will tell your ex that eventually.

You need to be healing, he is just prolonging the pain... not much of a friend.

Tonight you could email him on your own terms, tell him that you have been requesting to be allowed to move on with your life and that for the time being if he can't keep you out of situations involving the ex you are going to keep to yourself. If he is willing to be considerate of your feelings, then he must stop forwarding emails and leaving voicemails. All contact has to have absolutely nothing to do with your ex.

Hmmmm. That's a good point - not talking about my ex... I have already brought that up... but sadly I think that if I am stlll friends with him... I will eventually find out what she is doing AND with whom... se# and all, and that would be WAY too painful to take.

Too bad because although he wasn't a great friend as everybody says... he did help us get back together a couple of times...

That said, you still think that way or is justwantfair... right?

I'm sorry to ask you that in a different way again BUT I did want everyone to know that about him.

Any thoughts?

hey my friends for life :) don't bail on me just yet... yeah it like things are slowly gettn bettr... but I have a lot of questions to ask about the afterwards. Our mutual friend... us running into each other san antonio is a very very small town. There are like only 4 nice bars here soooooo... u see what's ah

cya latter, I don't know how mnay people are on here but it be cool beans if eveyone had a mini convention every year! Count me in :) we could meet each oter in realifelf... we wouldn't feel weird because e=we know evey=rone.! ''

typing is bad,, I toodk ab ambiena and a 12 pack... cya.

Well first of all I really think that you need to be away from her for a while and work on getting back yourself respect because if you don't then this relationship is just not going to work. But you can do it in a nice way, why don't you send flowers to her to show that you are still interested in her and ask her to meet with you, then talk about what went wrong and maybe suggest to really take a break from each other and think about things because breaking up all the time is not healthy for either of you. Hope this helps!

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Originally Posted by sarah63

Well first of all I really think that you need to be away from her for a while and work on getting back your self respect because if you don't then this relationship is just not going to work. But you can do it in a nice way, why don't you send flowers to her to show that you are still interested in her and ask her to meet with you, then talk about what went wrong and maybe suggest to really take a break from each other and think about things because breaking up all the time is not healthy for either of you. Hope this helps!

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No offense, but this is not good advice. For one, we are 43 pages in, and I don't think you read all that's been going on. Second, A guy should never and I mean never buy a woman flowers or anything else after a break up. It comes off as desperate... which it is, and given what you said that he should get his self respect back (which I agree with) if he did this even in the best of circumstances it would come off as giving mixed signals.

Hi... yeah I got to agree with chuff...

Our relaitonship is over. If she wants it back then SHE will have to come to me really ready to make concrete changes.

Even then, I'm not sure that it would be for the best. She has disappointed me too much...

With that said, I just hope that I don't run into her anytime soon... it would be like 2 lovers meeting each other again and who knows how feelings could reemerge... with just one look... on both of our ends!

HI everyone... an update:

I know you all are going to be disappointed but I had to email our mutual friend to tell him that I didn't want to hear anything about her. So, if he calls and wants to have a beer, that's cool, but not to say anything. It would just be as "friends"

I thought about sending that email all weekend long, especially after hearing everyone's advice but to me, even though he may not have my best interest at heart, I cannot "hide" or treat someone that way, after knowing him for as long as I've known her.

We have shared some good times but taking your advice is something that I will remember, just in case, he says something. Ill give him that chance. I'm not a coward and going out without telling him my reason, just made me feel that way.

Anyway, like I said, this doesn't mean I'm not going to heed what everyone says here. I will. Keep up your support!

I feel like everyone here is on my side and weird as it may sound, my friends...

Ill keep you posted.

Hey guys... its late at night and I'm not busy... guess that's my problem.. but I have a question for youall.. :

Why is it that I still "want" this woman who is obviously not good for me? I'm not one for abuse.. never have been. But she's like a drug to me. If you can say I have "withdrawls" that would be true. I don't "intellectually" want her... I KNOW that she is destructive for me... but I can't help why I think why I am drawn to a woman who is a "bad" girl... in ALL sense of the word.

Anyway... I know you guys aren't shrinks... but I was just wondering if anyone of you know this feeling and have some advice for me.

Thankx.

And NO.. im not going to get back with her... I still have NC!!

Memories are fading... but at times, like today, I remember some really good times...

Well, it feels like an addiction because it is an addiction. Don't fret. You'll be fine soon enough. Just try to think about something else.

I found out that after sometime, we still keep hanging on just because it feels better to have the messy ex situation than having nothing at all. It is hard but do your best to just not think about any of this. Shift your focus to other things. It'll help forgetting.

THANK YOU!! Imtotally lost!

I really appreciate your input.

Yeah, it really is an addiction... I know she isn't right for me... but I don't have anyone to lean on except for this forum... so thanks again for your comments imtotallost!

I'm going to go to bed... tomorrow is another day.

Man I know how that is one it could be a test to c if u really want her she is playng the hard to get game some time makes people recognize whatthey have she will be back just keep doing what yor doing it will be cool show her you care a lot about her

Thanks for your input joshrach1031...

Everyone here is the update...

Like I mentioned to everyone, I emailed our mutual friend... here is the email he sent back to me... :

It's good to know your ok..altough I can undersand your feelings of loneliness. I m here for you if you should need me ,even if you just need to vent my friend. I'm here.

I know you got alot going on in your life and sometimes the weight gets too great to seemingly bear but know that you are not alone.

I'm always here for you if you need me...know that my friend...trust in it. You are my equal in everyway too and it givesme tremendous joy to have such a good person in my life, that I can call my brother...

Your friend.

Well community... there you have it. I asked that he not tell me anything about HER... and that's what he wrote back... With that in mind... how do you feel about that? What would be your advice? It seems as if he will respect my wishes... I don't know... I know that Rome believes that this is no good but there you have the proof...

What does everyone have to say?

Thankx.

I think you want to keep him in your life knowing there is a connection with her.