Dude, you are still on this! Forget about the necklace, you've learned a valuable lesson this time.

Rome's Rule: Never give a woman a family artifact unless you are married

You are looking for every reason to sit around and wait for her.

Here puppy, here's another bone while I go play the field of guys.

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Originally Posted by AKeagle

i know i'm still clinging onto some false hope. for example, i would really like for her to send me the money that she owes me. cause now i can't afford it without her, and would have never went into it by myself. i would really like for her to send me the necklace i gave her 4 years ago (my mother bought it for me when i was 12, i gave it her, and a turtle charm, cause thats why i called her "my baby turtle", but i can't bring myself to tell my mother i don't have it anymore)

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You gave her something 4 years ago and now you want it back, (If it was that important you would have asked for it right away) now she owes you money, I would imagine next week you will think of another reason you need to talk to talk to her or another reason to keep the door open. You're not ready to give up and until you are you will not get over this.

Put it this way bro, here's a list of crap my ex "owes" me

- $300 for school books that she "promised" to pay back

- countless cds she wanted to "borrow"

- A few EXPENSIVE computer programs

- I left a few movies over her house

- Jewelry she only "borrowed" from me(necklaces)

Never saw ANY of it again, and after we broke up, after a week of making excuses to text her about it. I wrote all of that stuff off

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You gave her something 4 years ago and now you want it back, (If it was that important you would have asked for it right away) now she owes you money, I would imagine next week you will think of another reason you need to talk to talk to her or another reason to keep the door open. You're not ready to give up and until you are you will not get over this.

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I did ask for it back right away. I'm not coming up with reasons to leave the door open, those things are what I want her to give back, but it's been over a month, I doubt I'll see them.

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Put it this way bro, here's a list of crap my ex "owes" me

- $300 for school books that she "promised" to pay back

- countless cds she wanted to "borrow"

- A few EXPENSIVE computer programs

- I left a few movies over her house

- Jewelry she only "borrowed" from me(necklaces)

Never saw ANY of it again, and after we broke up, after a week of making excuses to text her about it. I wrote all of that stuff off

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Rome, I listened to the song linked in your signature. Its my new favorite.

I keep going through my house looking for things that I need at that point, and I think she walked out with more than I thought. Lol. I also found out that she had been pushing away some of my friends, kind of annoyed to hear that at this point, cause I wouldn't have let that happened, I had thought that they just had their own stuff going on.

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Originally Posted by AKeagle

Rome, i listened to the song linked in your signature. its my new favorite.

i keep going thru my house looking for things that i need at that point, and i think she walked out with more than i thought. lol. i also found out that she had been pushing away some of my friends, kinda annoyed to hear that at this point, cause i wouldn't have let that happened, i had thought that they just had their own stuff going on.

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If they are really your friend they will stick around. It only shows you what type of person she is. You're doing fine, keep doing whatever you're doing and stop thinking about her. It's not healthy. If begin thinking about her, start thinking about something else that you really enjoy.

They left, cause she got mad at them, and saw I was happy with her, so they never came to me and told me about what happened. And they are here for me now. When I think about her I get mad, just cause some of the things she walked out with I didn't realize till now. Like the other day I was going out to shoot pool with a friends, so I went looking for my cue sticks (I had 3, 1 she paid for) and I couldn't find any of them, she doesn't even play pool, lol. Whatever, I'm going to see someone later today to see how much I can buy a new one for. But come on, you know.

Like I said it shows her character and you should be happy she's not in your life. By the way have you found another apartment yet?

Not yet, I have talked to some people, but nothing has been signed. I'm not sure if I'm going to move, cause I have a bowflex at this place, and I doubt I could take it with me. My current room mates wouldn't care if I left it there, and kept a key to come by and use it. But I also signed a lease till the end of January, so I wouldn't walk out until they find someone else to take my place. Other than the price, I like where I live, so I got to see what I can do at work, and where else to cut costs.

Come on, doesn't anyone see the funny side of this?

Nope, not at all...

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Originally Posted by paxe

Nope, not at all...

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Well I find it funny how she had the nerve to walk out with those pointless items, and how I had know idea for 4 weeks. Oh well.

Still been staying with no contact, though I think I might be having to go around where she hangs out all the time, her parents house which is next to our old high school, I talked to my old coach the other day, and he has been doing summer practices for all ages and has tournaments going on all the time, so I'm considering jumping into that.

I decide to just throw those letters she gave me before, instead of putting them away

Don't dwell on those things, on what she did or did not take. She obviously forgot about you time to do the same thing for her. Also if there is a high chance of you meeting her don't go to that place. I fear it's only an excuse to see her. Throw everything that you have of her if you can.

OK, have talked to a couple people to see what they say.

They suggest I sent her a text, cause I know she won't answer a phone call, telling her my mother is asking where the necklace she gave me is. Then also bring up the fact that I'm missing my pool cue (she had to have taken it). Then get those items from her

No! I strongly suggest you don't do that. If you need to contact her whatsoever ask one of your friend to do it for you, and that they get the necklaces for you. Also, tell them not to ask any question about her and that they don't give you any information. Don't break NC! Sometimes it is also important to let go sometimes of possessions.

Maybe I should put a kick me sign on my back

I can't even think of someone that I would want to contact her to get the stuff

I think its over man. It seems pretty clear to me. Keep doing no contact and let your heart heal. Don't wait for her and do this for yourself because it´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are and it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the HEARTACHE and fear of what life has.

Update

Sent her a text yesterday saying I would be coming by to pick up the necklace my mother gave me, and also the pool cues I bought, she can have the rest(1400, and what not). No response. Had a friend check the number to make sure it was still hers, it was. Called her left a VM, then texted her about it. Then called her parents house, and talked to her mother, listing the items I would be picking up around 8 tonight, and what not. Told her I would like the money she promised me she said no, then told me I owed her daughter money, for some stuff. I told her that I had offered it back and that she said no.

So hopefully this goes smoothly, I just want to be handed the stuff and walk away, don't need a conversation or anything else. I am tired of being treated like I'm the bad person, when I'm not. I have given her all the things she asked for, and she took more, that I am now finding out about now. I didn't cheat on her, and I'm tired of people thinking that what she did to me was appropriate, "true love" or not.

I know I need healing, but I'm done being the nice guy. I am upset about this, but am focused.

You have made a decision, stick to it, and follow through!

I can respect a guy, who is willing to stand for himself, and do what he has to do.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You have made a decision, stick to it, and follow thru!

I can respect a guy, who is willing to stand for himself, and do what he has to do.

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Well if she refuses, I don't know how much more I'm going to be able to follow through. But hopefully she and her family will stop acting like I'm the bad guy. When no matter what happened I made sure we were good.

This has taught me valuable lesson's:
-no joint bank account till marriage, and even then there should be kids and or a house payment.
-never move have a girlfriend move in, until engaged, but be careful there also.
-never do things bases on emotion, such as paying bills for the other, and sacrificing my relationship with my family and friends, and my grades. Not when she isn't doing the same.
-be there next time the girl is moving out, they have sticky hands and will take what isn't theirs, it will be painful to get it back

That said, I deserve better than this, even if the next serious relationship ends, I would prefer someone who is mature, and someone who I willing to walk away clean, not to another guy.

Also eating great, lifting everyday (though I messed up both my shoulders), and taking time to myself, like hiking and running, sleeping well, but sometimes too much cause of sleep deprivation, also hanging out with my cousin(he's not talking about his thing that much, might be moving in with him, cause he's looking at buying a house), and have been reconnecting to a lot of my old friends

Thought:

Think I should take someone with me, so nothing is started (nothing physical) but her family gets pretty childish with stuff. Not saying that someone else there would stop that, but would limit it or keep everyone civil