Yes it would be wrong and you need to accept the fact this thing you had is over.Quote:
Would a quick txt or call this Saturday to see if she's moving be wrong?
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Yes it would be wrong and you need to accept the fact this thing you had is over.Quote:
Would a quick txt or call this Saturday to see if she's moving be wrong?
It would honestly make me feel a lot better knowing that she was moving, if she does... Alot of things would be more clear I supposed.
Things were already clear at the moment you started to feel uncomfortable with yourself inside this relationship which put you on so much confusions, wondering and messages of stick around "just in case" from her.
You just didn't notice, but hey!! That's life... an everyday eye opener
You... as much as I want to know if she's moving away... and as much as it would make me feel better knowing that she was moving. I won't call or text, Im sure if she leaves she would text and say something anyway. I shouldve just gone with my instincts and walked once we had our first talk. Because I was right on the button, I knew the guy, when, and where they met. It was all just bs and lies from her after that. Im glad I took my picture from her place and ripped it up in front of her, And deleted her phone # and pictures from my phone in front of her. She really didn't like that Knowing that I want nothing to do with her. I doubt she will call for awhile, cause she thinks I will contact her like I have been these last couple of weeks. But this time, I won't, I don't want anything to do with a person like that... 2 things No one likes is Liars, and cheaters.
That's the spirit... Stay strong!
When I first read your message the first thing that came to my mind was that there was someone else.
I had the same scenario with my ex girlfriend about 1 month ago. All of a sudden she wanted to date others, but while still dating me at the same time. I know for a fact that she had someone else in mind. She just was wanting me on the backburner so that I could be the fall-back guy.
So, I'm beginning to see a pattern here with all of these stories about girls wanting to date others. I think that in probably 99% of the cases there is someone else that they have in mind to date. No matter what excuse they give you... they are interested in someone else and are wanting to explore that. The "needing space to figure themselves out" or "Wanting to take a step back" or "Wanting to just be friends" excuses are just their way of lettting you down lightly because they don't have the guts to make a clean break with you. They want to go out and test the waters with someone else that has caught their attention.
I would say goodbye to this girl forever. Once a cheater always a cheater!
I just find it funny how, She wants to test the waters with someone else, yet she still wants to get together and fool around with me while doing that... jeez!
YOU don't get it she wants to test the waters and if its not to her liking she can run back to you until the water is at a suitable temperature and then you will not even be thought about!!
When a girl is doing this it is best for hyou to disappear because by hanging aroundall you are doinf is making it easier for her.
Its like when you have a girlfriend it seems much easier to go out and meet pther girls because you feel more confident and if you don't meet any girls well you already have one so you feel great.
This is how she is working now looking for the new guy but your making it easy for her cause she knows she still has you as the JUST IN CASE!!
Don't make it easy for her if you want any hope at all make her tackle this onher own and she mught just realise what she's losing. But if she doescome running ELL man don't take her straight back you must take control tell her you need time.
Goodluck just stop STOP STOP talking whatever you do don't speak or anything till she calls!!
Simply put, don't let here use you that way. Leave her alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andyman123
She is using you as the backup plan. You deserve more. Go find someone who knows how to be loyal and content with you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andyman123
She called yesterday, So I called her back and told her I said that I didn't want to talk to her anymore and she told me " I knew you would want to know if I am moving away on sunday to kamaloops with Sarah....Its not 100% but its looking pretty damn close to 100% that Im gonna be leaving on sunday " She then asked if I would want to get together have some fun with no commitments or ties before she leaves.
I don't have any feelings for her really at this point, I hate the person she is... But one final Booty call before she trucks her to kamaloops would be nice
Quote:
Originally Posted by Andyman123
I say go for it. I know it sounds shallow but what the heck. If she's willing I don't know why you wouldn't be. Do you think that you can honestly have no emotional attachments if you do? If yes, then I would go for it.
As it stands right now, I wouldn't have any emotional attachments because of all that that happened. She called today again, and went over how she wants to be friends, maybe with a few benefits... Said she told that other guy to just be friends, and that she's moving to kamaloops in about a month. Considering I drive by her house on my way home from work I kept my eyes peeled for that guys car to be outfront, cause she said tonight she was going to catch up on some sleep. That guys car wasn't there, but her lights were on, and there was a lowrider outfront. She lives in a basement suite so you just park on the road, and maybe someone took that spot but I really doubt it, as Ive parked there for a long time and never seen that. I could be jumping the gun, she does have a lot of guy friends... well Most of her friends are guys cause she's not a girly girl. But I don't know, I don't want to do the benefits thing if she's doing it with other people also.
You got what you got for 9 months. Shows over time to go. You just stop answering that phone when she calls, and ride into the sunset.
Any updates?
Actually yes, I went out on the weekend and met a girl I used to know wa yback in day..,. funny thing is now she's SMOKING hot, I went on a date with her last night and things went great... the ex calls me and starts going nuts about how she heard I went on a date and that it really bothers her that I've found someone new so fast blah blah blah... Then she wanted to know if I liked this girl etc... I just told her, "look were not dating anymore, so any of that stuff really isnt your business at all. Yes I like her and Yes im going to see her more" then she asked if I wanted to come over tonight ot have a few beers etc... hah not a chance.
Great work that's well done. One thing though are you sure you are not just using this as a rebound. Maybe she only wants to come back cause she realises what she has lost or may she just wants to come back cause of the other girl. Either way two weeks ago you said you loved her and would do anything to get her back and now she wants o come back and you say no way.
Which is it you want this new girl may be great for you but is this the one you want. Either way I suppose you don't want to let the ex straight back cause look at what she did to you in the first place.
Yet you did say you loved her so much so now I am confused how you can say you love someone so much and then bam you meet a new hot girl and you are over the ex??
Think about what it is that you want, maybe you only wanted the ex back cause she left...
Its always funny how when they go we want them back but when hety come back or we find someone else we don't want them as much...
I still love my ex to death, She wants me back badly... Not sure if I should or not. Funny thing is, my ex has everything I look for in a girl. To the tee!
Hay mate what's happened with the new hot girl have you been talking to her. And what is happening with the ex did she actually say she wants you back??
Yes, Ive gone out and still talk to the new girl a lot, She wants to date me as more than just friends but Im sitting back to think things over right now. I saw the ex a few days ago, she burst into tears, said how she made the biggest mistake of her life, that losing me made her realize how much she really wants and needs me, She also said, that she feels so strongly about me that she thought to herself when we were together that she wanted me to be the father of her children if things were to ever go that far... I still love her to death, she has everything I want, she was the only person that I ever saw eye to eye with. She's still stuck on just moving to kamaloops to get away from everything... but she wants to stay For me. So as of right now, I really don't know what I'm going to do... the ex came out with me to my friends party last night, we had a blast... Felt nice to have her around... So, I don't know what to do... I find myself asking, Do I forgive her for what she has done, and get back together if she stays... or give up the one person that makes everything in life feel perfect? If she goes to kamaloops which is only a 3 hour drive from here, she wants to stay together and rotate weekends where I would go down there and vice versa. Heh So, Im back with my head in a deep spin again.
Wow... Now you get to make the decisions... Good job although I can see how hard it is. I wish I can tell you which would be better, but I doubt anybody would know that answer... I guess this part is up to you. I hope you make the best decision. I'm pretty sure you will pick your ex because she has everything to the tee and you got her to come back which means she must really care. So good luck! I guess you have some comparing to do... lol
Do you think it's a coincidence that you meet someone and now she wnts you to be around her? Could she see you slipping away and is actually competing for your attention? Could she be trying to make you stop seeing this other girl? Could this big move be a smokescreen, to make you miss her? Lots of questions, and I only can suggest you not do anything, until you have some very clear answers.
T-Man... Aren't very clear answers only answers that are trustworthy? In that case, are there clear answers at all? The smokescreen is always around. This world is full of illusions! Everything relies on the eye of the beholder. We all go in to everything blind and hoe for the best. A choice must be made by Andyman and a tough one as well which will affect his life. Andyman, I think a second chance to the reconciled woman would be a good idea because she seems really sorry for everything, but is all this trustworthy? Choosing the new girl is also a good idea to start something fresh... One choice brings back the hard work and the rough times and betrayal and lies and even thinking another guy is cute and so much that will play in your brain for time to come. She messed it up. Too much to worry about. The second seems more relaxing and new... So the choice is yours... Good luck!
I am a woman, and it sounds to me like she got the last minute jitters. She is afraid of being hurt and wants some space 1st, that's all. She wants to go a little slower now.
:) Your girlfriend is very young and whilst some people are emotionally ready to settle into a committed relationship young, it is very clear from what you have written, she is not. I would expect she has not resolved her feelings regarding her past relationships nor does she understand that during our our early to mid teens, relationships are new to us and they are learning experience. Whilst I realise it will be painful to let her go, she needs to find her independence, identity, party, meet new people and try new things. Do you really want to continue a relationship who is not ready? Do you want to be in a relationship which is destined to fail? Let her go and she will either return to you, ready for a committed relationship or she will move on, which would prove your relationship was destined to be short and sweet. Sorry to hear of your heartache, wishing you well.
Sometimes the dumper needs time, and space to heal also.
one confused person+ another confused person=a confused relationship.
To hell with the dumper!
See..Quote:
Originally Posted by MishcaParker
I was in a relationship for 3 years with a girl like this when she was 20 when she left me and I was 6 years older (oh, and still am, unless I'm growing younger>LOL) That was quite an age difference that I did not acknowledge at the time. After the breakup, I really understood how big a factor this is in terms of how long the relationship will last.
When I met her, I was 23 and she was only 17, I managed to keep the relationship going for 3 years but there were signs that things were crumbling, they were all there to see but I was too much in denial to acknowledge them. I cared too much for her to believe that she was drifting away.
She told me she wished she was single again and she could go out and basically have fun, not that she did not have fun with me but what she wanted was to spread her wings, explore, sad to say but wanted to date different men and I am 100% certain of this. Once I realised that actually this is normal, can I blame her for wanting to experience life, for wanting to grow? No, because I have been there and unfortunately (or fortunately>LOL) I met her at the wrong time in life.
The difference in age had she been 30 and I 36 would not have mattered but the age gap when I was 26 and she was 20 was a huge difference. I was not the same man at 20 that I am now, I was still the good man I am but had much to learn (and in fact, still do).
Life is a huge learning experience and I think that if you are past the age of 25, then you should find someone who has gone through the whole being single, partying, wild phase and find someone that is at the same maturity level as you.
I know that I am looking (well not actively looking) for a woman like that. In fact, I learned so much about what I want in a woman from my ex and for that I am grateful to her, not angry anymore, just more glad that I know what it is I want from a relationship.
If I never meet my miss right, then as sad as it may be, so be it, I would rather be alone (well not completely alone but single you know) than be in a relationship with someone I do not want to be with or does not want to be with more or who does not know what she wants. I do yearn (although don't need) deep down though for the day I meet a woman that will appreciate me for who I am.
People are ready at different stages in their life. Some have to go through their 'wild stage' others don't. I would love to be able to go round and sleep with lots of different attractive women simply for fun and know I have the confidence to do so. But in reality that's not the person I am.
It's a shame that people who have to leave a relationship to experience 'life.' I would probably have to say though that one day your dumper will look back and say 'god, he/she was a good guy/girl, I am with a good guy/bad girl/guy now, but he/she was so good to me and I wish I had never let him/her go.'
By then though time would have passed, both of you would have changed, happy memories in the past for ever lost in oblivion. But hey your happily married now, two great kids, a good job, life is great and hey there's allot of s_h_t to go through still yet! Affairs? Family breakdowns, disease, death, money... LOL hey the worlds your oyster go take!
??
Wait until you are the dumper. :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
I know I know...
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