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Ive been going to the gym and it does help. Thing is I know she is still pyhsically attracted to me, it would be good to go and her to see me talking to other girls but then again it could backfire as she may not even bother and I'm left feeling like an idiot.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiser
You really must stop that line of thinking. Obviously her physical attraction to you means nothing, and making her jealous is a waste of time. Go fishing, the peace and quiet is awesome and the outdoors will do you good.
What talaniman is saying is get yourself a life and stop thinking about her - I suggest you do the same!
Its not healthy to be thinking in the past, so why do it. Work on yourself and yourself only.
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Yeah I guess, but it shows there's still something there. I have been reading other topics, and came across one with a couple not having sex and they split up. I too did not have sex with this girl and I'm wondering if that's what made her finish it as she did say there was no chemistry. Don't get me wrong I was only seeing her for 4 months and didn't get to see her much, we nearly did the week previous to us splitting and I felt we became a little closer.
I know the no contact thing is for myself to heal, I do feel though it heals her too. If I get in contact I also understand it will give her an ego boost.
Is there anything someone can do to boost there own ego after being dumped and get an ex pissed off or jealous. I want to show her I isn't bothered and don't miss her in anyway, i.e. make her chase??
Get healthy, and get a life that you enjoy without her.Quote:
Is there anything someone can do to boost there own ego after being dumped
This kind of thinking is sick and obsessive and not healthy.Quote:
and get an ex pissed off or jealous. I want to show her I isn't bothered and don't miss her in anyway, i.e. make her chase??
Well that's the weekend over. Was out with my friends and bumped into the ex, it was just a two minute conversation, no bad feeling between us, I didn't show I missed her or anything even though it was killing me.
She kept looking over before we spoke but she didn't want to speak for long so we both said "see you later". It was tough for me, I just wanted things back to the way they were, but there is nothing I can do and I certainly wouldn't contact her, very hard to deal with, but contacting her or acting like I miss her would push her away more I feel
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Originally Posted by talaniman
She has been in contact again, through email saying sorry for what happened, she said I was right about her and that she has things unresolved in her mind. Its weird though one of her messages said " I bet u have a few girls on the go just now, shame one of them aint me". Now I don't know if that means she wishes she could see me again or she is being sarcastice but I just brushed it off with a light hearted comment.
She explained she didn't want to be friends but wasn't ready which is fair enough. It felt fine talking on email, I'm just a little paranoid in case she is just contacting me to relieve her guilt as she said she hasn't stopped thinking about it all and feels like crap
As said above, remove yourself from this situation and get a life without her. She probably wants to see if she still has you, an ego things, she wants her cake and eat it. GET YOURSELF OUT NOW!
Plenty of ways to do this, delete her from your life, go NC, keep yourself busy, enjoy life.
Im on bebo mate that's how she contatced me, so couldn't really ignore it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiser
I don't think she is interested anyhow, and I've never initiated any contact whatsoever, its always been her. I also would not give any indication that I like her, all I told her was I hold no grudges, and siad I could go from seeing her to being friends straight away, I'm not feeling as bad about it now anyway. She has a lot of issues in her head I feel and I don't need that.
She mailed me saying I was right about her, which shows I wasn't at fault. My friends seem to think in some way she still likes me, but I wouldn't go back
She just seems confused don't be mad at her give her some time she just got out of an relationship be there for her even if its just a friend because if you think about it before you could be in a good relationship you should be friends first
Im not really interested anymore in getting back with her, its too much grief for me but I isn't holding grudges. She has things in her head and I'm not pressuring her in2 telling me,I just want her to realise that she can't have me when she feels like it.Quote:
Originally Posted by sexcccy013lv
But I am suspicious of her trying to be pals, I don't mind the occasional chat. She is in some way trying to getr rid of her guilt I honestly don't think she likes me in any other way, but part of me thinks she regrets losing me, but its too late in that repsect
Forget about her she has way to many hang ups will onl cause you grief over time no good
I think she needs no contact more than you do.
Yes I agree with this as she wanted to stay in contact to chat. Ive not just found out from someone that she has been texting another guy and been out with him in his car, night out etc, even though I wouldn't go back to her this has hurt me and I find myself for some reason constantly thinking aout it, I guess I'm jealous and feel lied to as she said she didn't want a guy in her life. I think she is an attention seeker, itry to think they are just friends but they are chattin on bebo and clearly flirting with each other, I feel very angry and I don't want to feel like this but all I can think is her with him and not even bothering with meQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I think your right she is exploring being single and with the handwriting on the wall, don't you think its time to focus on you. You do have a choice you know, you don't have to talk to her, nomatter that she calls to chat, if your always busy. Yes picking your nose is busy. You need to send the message your gone. No more chats.
Yes I need to focus more on me. Im having a problem on this bebo but, I have friends who I talk to on this and she had found me and got in contact. She mailed me privately saying sorry it was her fault etc, and at that time I accpeted - foolishly may I add, and said I didn't mind speaking to her. Now if I block her from bebo she will know this and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I'm still hurt as it just boosts her ego. I have never once inititated contact and never will but I feel I am wondering when she wll nxt contact me, this is the thoughts I can't control. What I'm meaning is I want to have no contact with her knowing I am not hurt in anyway and have completely moved on. I don't know how to get this message acrossQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Reread my post that you quoted. Block her from this bebo thing. What part of focus on you not her is confusing you?? Hate to be harsh, but I've heard all your excuses, where's the action part??Quote:
I don't know how to get this message across
No not at all I do not see you as being harsh, I just didn't want to show in anyway that she has hurt me, I basically want to show I am strong enoughQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
You disappearing is all the message she needs. That would show strength, control and power.
I have disappeared from this girls life and the only contact as I have said is when she has initiated it. The issue I find hard is my friend who works at a nightclub, said he seen her the other night and "she looked brilliant", he also said she was standing with a football player all night, he didn't see her go with him but I know they would have exchanged numbers as this is what she does.
Hearing these things seem to hurt me a lot and make me feel lied to. She said she needed time away from guys as she was confused about a lot of things, its only just over 2months since we split and already I'm feeling she has forgot about me. Looking back when I was with her I remember each night she had been out without me I would hear she would be standing talking to another guy all night, is this an attention thing she is doing??
I know it would never work with her as she seems like a bit of a player, but I can't seem to forget about her. Every time I hear about her with another guy I get jealous, I feel hurt as I thought she really likd me - her own words.
What is wrong with me? Any advice would be appreciated, I want to get over this
Nobody forgets about anyone. Unfortunately human nature does not allow us to. However we can choose to move on with our lives and concentrate on the things we like doing and planning nice things to do. That helps us to in a way to move on from our past.
Don't know how old she is but she obviously likes the attention from other guys, like flirting etc. An ego burst perhaps, maybe it's a sign of her insecurities like she needs the attention to make herself feel better about herself. As she gets older this will probably go. She probably wants a rebound also as she misses your support and wants it back...
Anyway NC for now work on yourself.
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Originally Posted by Jiser
She is 21 and can get any guy. I was only seeing her for a few months, its not me she misses. She did email me 2 weeks ago saying she missed talking to me but that is her trying to be friends again and there is no point. In my opinion she wasn't over her ex, there is nothing good in this for me yet I find myself holding onto something that would only hurt me and leave me confused all the time.
I think my problem is my ego has been dented and I haven't took the rejection well, every time I see her I fancy her physically,also any other girl I meet I find myself comparing to her and nothing beats her
Why the hell are you seeing her? There are other women who are sexy to! I saw my ex the other night and she was absolutely stunning to me that is. Not to my friends. Yeh its hard but try not to get to into it. The more time goes and the more you do with your life you will start finding you have many more good memories you remember with new people in your life than ytour ex
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Originally Posted by Jiser
Im not seeing her anymore, I may occasionaly bump in2 her if I'm out, I be polite but it hurts like hell. Yeah there are many sexy women out there, I've just never been so attracted in all my life the way I was with this one. I'm 26 and have met plenty of women. She seems like a player and I trusted her and believed her that she like me a lot, it takes a lot for me to trust a girl and after a break from my previous relationship, this girl I tought would make me feel good again, how wrong was I!!
Don't fret my friend. Hah my rents didn't meet till 30. Also my cousin split from his girl when she was 18 he was 21 (they had been together for a few years) anyway four years they saw each other and got back together and have been with each for 10 years now. So ;P W/E Just move on with your life and you don't know what will happen.
I blame myself, she said I scared her a little and what I think she meant was I was too full on which I feel I was, I went about it all wrong and I'm kicking myself. This is why I'm finding it hard to let go. People say this is a learning curve not to do it again which is true, but its frustrating that I can't let her see that I can be different and not so full on, I made a mistake and showed how much I liked her too soon.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jiser
I just wasn't my relaxed self and just rushed things, so silly and something I regret so much.
What's done is done, face reality and get some things you enjoy doing. Plan some trips away, go to live music, have a good life, you can't be miserable for ever! If you hold on you will be. Once you get yourself sorted she may see a new side to u!
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