Sounds exactly like what I'm going through even the birthday thing god that's so exact to what I went through its almost scary. We should chat sometime I think we have a lot in common
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Sounds exactly like what I'm going through even the birthday thing god that's so exact to what I went through its almost scary. We should chat sometime I think we have a lot in common
While its true you cannot control who you fall in love with, you can control your actions. Stop contact with these married men and get control of your life and emotions, instead of giving in to what your heart is saying. Save yourself a lot of misery.
As far as I am concerned, M, his wife and I are all adults--no one guarantees us a perfect life in a perfect world. Maybe they should have been faithfully married for 50 years and walked into the sunset together. Maybe I should have had the same thing with my ex-husband, but that didn't happen. You can feel sorry for his wife, but you don't know her, and I have a hard time thinking she is a perfect woman who is being victimized. She is an adult woman in a marriage with an adult man and anything can happen there. No one else knows these people or what goes on between them. The local news this week is all about the married spouses of high school teachers who had affairs with students. I wonder how a marriage like that exists, with one spouse is completely in the dark about the activities of their partner. But it happens everywhere all the time.
I have made no demands and I have never called his house or his cell or even driven by his house. My choice is that I believe he doesn't want to plunge his children into the chaos and blood-letting of a divorce wherein he will be the bad guy. And I don't blame him. Say what you will about true love and that he should leave---as long as he stays, they live in the world they think is real: mother, father and kids. His son is nearly 16 and if that set-up keeps him in school and off the streets, then that is what should happen.
My problem is that I am in love and alone with everything--household repairs, auto accidents, family functions, etc. And when I am alone, I am filled with fear and doubt.
So because you are alone and afraid then it makes the choice you made to get with a maried man the right way to go? I don't think so. We all have choices and we must also deal with the consequences or the rewards for making those choices.
There are plenty of single men out there if you look. Then you won't be alone in everything, including your evenings.
You need to follow your heart, and roll with it what ever you deceided, he say you have control of the good so make him want you, even tease him a little bit but don't give him anymore...Quote:
Originally Posted by lilliandiana
Short and sweet but here is my advice... You should never be okay with being second best! You need a relationship where you come in first. Easier said than done I know.. But you have to think of it in terms of the long run, there are too many feelings in the 'here and now' that make coming to any decision difficult.
You know.. I honestly don't understand people like you. Your complaining of someone who isn't nice to you, but your ALLOWING it to happen. Your only taken advantage of if YOU let that happen. I don't feel sorry for anybody who allows this to happen. I mean... get out of the relationship.. PERIOD! What do you want people to tell you ? You honestly think people are going to say "Oh stay in it, he loves you" Come on! Another thing.. how would YOU feel if you were on the other end of this? Would you like YOUR husband to have an affair? Would you live through that heartbreak? I truly believe, what comes around goes around and we all get our own payback in some way!
I think its time to grow up, kick this dude to the curb and get a man of your own!!
Lilli- Exactly what was it about my posts that was so "disagreeable"? I don't think you enjoy being his hidden secret, I do think this relationship is probably one of the most difficult relationships you've had and the one you've probably worked hardest at. Do you disagree that he's not making you a priority, if you were, he'd be divorced and with you. I don't think you're happy with the way things are and you wished you had more. You can have more, but not as long as you're holding on to the wrong things. I don't think what I said was untrue.Quote:
Originally Posted by momincali
Listen, I'm not trying to be self-righteous here, but I am trying to sincerely help you. If that means shooting from the hip and not sugar coating things, than that's what I'm going to do if it means that I will contribute to to your life in a constructive way. I don't think you came here to have sunshine blown up your behind. If I was anything less than sincere, I would be doing you a great disservice. You have enough people patting you on the back and sympathizing with you, yet that's not really going to get you anything but a pat on the back. You seem like a strong gal. Use it. You don't need or want people's sympathy, you don't need to swap mistress stories, you need to see the poor choices you've made, put them behind you and move on with your life. I know you may feel sad and frustrated that your life is the same-old-same-old. Go to work, teach, do stuff with your kids and go to work again. Life's opportunities will probably not come knocking on your door. You want change, you need to go out and get it. Think outside the box, heck, get outside the box! Shake things up. Move if you have to, but don't stay in that stagnant water or you'll rot.
For the record... I don't win things very often so I proudly accept that Moral Superiority Award you gave me! I'd like to thank the academy... just kiddin;)
Well, you are certainly right that I have worked hard at this relationship. I worked harder at my marriage, though, and it went bust after 10 years anyway. And for the record, if you think I HAVEN'T lived through my husband cheating, you're wrong. I did. I don't know which was worse--the pulling away from me while I was trying so hard to be Superwoman, or the actual affair with the much younger girl. Doesn't matter. I survived and am stronger for it.
I don't agree that M's wife is this rare species of wounded bird whom I should feel responsible for, but I DO agree that if I feel taken advantage of (and I do sometimes--why I started all this), I AM the one letting it happen. If I didn't let it happen; if I didn't sweep under the rug all my frustrations and dismay at being second best, it wouldn't happen.
But as for hoping someone will say, "Oh yeah, he loves you"---I suppose that is EXACTLY what I was hoping.
And thanks, momincali, for your gracious reply for my VERY defensive one yesterday. I do appreciate your comments and the time to post them. I am at war with myself, but I didn't mean to take it out on anyone here.
It is your choice to be with him, since all you had to do was say NO, so I guess you learned nothing from being cheated on, except maybe getting even. It was wrong for your husband to cheat and worse that you do it knowing first hand what the feelings are. That is callous and whom ever made the first move is irrelevant, because you are both wrong.Quote:
disagrees: I didn't "get with" him. I am not married; I am breaking no promises to anyone. He did make promises and apparently they are difficult to live with, so he made a choice that most people would not. But that is his choice.
You say you've broken up with him several times. As harsh as this will sound. You never broke up with him because you were never with him. That means, a single person dating a married man is always a single person. You will forever be waiting for him. Dating a married person is exciting for both the single and married person for physical and emotional purposes. You are an emotional outlet and will do what wifee won't do and you need to be needed. Would you want a man who can't be faithful to you. You are no prize if he were to leave his wife because and be with you and you didn't get any prize. Why do I sound so harsh... been there, done that for 4 years. Sweetie let go and love yourself. As long as he can keep you in limbo and emotionally hooked, he will. He has a lot to lose in comparison to you (his family, friends, ect). That is how he sees it and trust me, he is not leaving for you. He married that woman for a reason and is staying for a reason which should not be your concern. You will be the one hurt in the end because you will go to bed by yourself while he has his wife to hold him at night. There is more than one side to the story. Pray hard to get out of the situation and that all emotions are removed.Quote:
Originally Posted by lilliandiana
Not knowing your religion or faith, ask yourself these questions (which are based on my faith):
1. Do you believe that God knows your heart's desires?
2. Do you believe that God knows every hair on your head?
3. Would God bring anything to you that is not good for you?
4. Would God bring something or someone into your life that is against what His word states?
And if your answer is No to the last question, then would God bring a married man and his chaos, lies and manipulation into your life to be with you and disrupt your life?
Just something to really ponder.
As far as the work situation -- look for another job. Remove yourself from the situation, change your number and don't YOU look back because looking back will make you trip over the good things, good people and blessings that are in front of you.
I am not callous or vengeful. My husband did what he did because men are sometimes stuck and unhappy and this is how they feel better. My husband did it and I endured it because there was nothing I could do to change it. People do what they do because something drives them to--in his case, he couldn't handle being the breadwinner and being responsible for a wife and 4 kids. I don't feel he was immoral or a horrible person--just weak and maybe desperate to feel good again. (After her there were the 900 number calls... ). I guess that is where I learned that you don't compete for people or their feelings. He wasn't my possession and I refused to beg him to love me. If he had rather listen to some sexy voice than be with me----ok. I let go when there was no hope of avoiding the breakup of the family, but emotionally I let go a couple of years sooner than that.
I don't think M is trying to hurt anyone; I think he is stuck with trying to hold onto something for the sake of his kids and not wanting to create an explosion in his life-- and needing something else. I am stuck because I want him.
As for my job--it sucks. I love the work but many of the people make life hell for me. I have a bunch of resumes out there and will keep trying to get out of there.
You will continue to think badly of me Talaniman because you seem to need to make me into a horrible, hateful person and I am not.
Well it sounds like people can give advice and more advice and u are still going to be stuck in this situation. I guess its going to be YOUR decision on what you want to do. I don't honestly think that anyone's opinion is going to matter to you. I think your in something that you may like and not even realize it. Good luck to you, but I sure hope you do wake up one day and realize that you get one chance at this thing we call LIFE. Your going to wake up one day and its going to be the end, and your going to wonder WHY you wasted your life on someone so shallow.
Good luck!
I feel like I have a lot in common with you. I never thought of myself as a bad person when I was involved in a 19-month affair. I thought no one was being hurt. It was fun, good times for him and me. But the reality is that it was wrong, wrong, and wrong. I was using him as a means to escape from reality. He was using me for sex. This guy you're having an affair with is a bandaid on an open wound. You've selected him for a specific reason although you don't think so. He's uninterested in having a longterm, meaningful relationship with you. Besides that, I don't think you'd want him, anyway. What would you do if he showed up tomorrow, divorced and ready to go? Be honest.
I hope you find the strength to end this or you'll just be another mistress wasting her best years on a man who's not even 1% committed to her. If you do not believe you deserve more, it's hard for anyone else to convince you. I just started seeing a pyschologist... join me! Get to the root causes of your behavior patterns. Behaviors/actions are not easy to change, but they're easier to change than other things (physical disabilities, birth defects, etc.). Be thankful this is something you can wrap your mind around and alter.
Dump him. Feel the heartbreak. The only way to get through this pain is through it.
You're getting fantastic advice here! Some of it's blunt and to the point, some of it has softer edges. But all of it is coming from a place of encouragement, support, and compassion. Please heed it. Go back and read and reread everyone's posts until everything begins to sink in.
héhéhé, my name is Pascale, I live in Belgium,and I live the same story , it s too funy!Quote:
Originally Posted by lilliandiana
My boyfriend is horrible, egoist to a level that no one can believe, married, and have you noticed how they are so'unhappy' home but still are going back there every single day!!
My 'Marc' is 47, let me pay the bill at restaurant, don't offer presents at birtday or valentine, and lets not talk about christmass,. I am laughing just writing this.His wife 's horrible, call him pig( wich now I believe he is),the worst is his attitude , he is racist, 'radin', superior,. physicly he is no goog looking at al!! Do not laugh, please!
And still, what am I doing giving that idiot my precious time and love.
It's really stupid, isn't it? Every morning I say, today I won't answer is phone, and at the end of the day I am the one calling!!
Now that I ve seen his wife , I do not want to end up like her, fat , extremely unhappy, blaming the rest of the world for every one , al my friends are detesting him, my daughter hates him,. and still as I writte to you I wai for his call!!
Come one , lets wake up , once and for al.
I just put the worst pictur of hiùm on my blog :
Blog de showmebiapoulet : showmebiapoulet
Al the best
Tell him you will be friends but not second fiddle. That if he really loves his son and wife he will accept that. If that don't work then you will have to end the friendship. Any way what kind of friend is he really if he only uses you for sex...Quote:
Originally Posted by lilliandiana
If you cut contact with this fellow and build a life you enjoy without him, your world will change and as you move to a much healthier lifestyle you will be able to make better decisions based on fact and not just feelings. I don't think you are a bad person, you have made some bad decisions. You can change all of that if you want to. That's all I want for you is to want to change your life, and be happy and healthy. It can be done.Quote:
You will continue to think badly of me Talaniman because you seem to need to make me into a horrible, hateful person and I am not.
I AM getting great advice and I truly appreciate it. I do see a therapist and his advice is that I will never have any chance at a real relationship with M unless he ends the marriage and works through all the grieving and is finally ready to be in a spot to freely act on being with me. And OK, maybe I am a horrible person, but I don't think that would ever happen. I think if he did get divorced, he would use his freedom to see every woman in the countryside--because he would be FREE to do that. And I would partially understand the impulse because when I got divorced I spent YEARS revelling in not being stuck dealing with my husband's crap and doing what I pleased. Only I couldn't just wait on M to SEE every woman who is out there, and then trust that he would finally come back to me. It would hurt too badly to imagine him with countless other women---it is hard enough to imagine him with the one he goes home to (and whoever else he is attracted to). The only way I can is never having seen his wife. What gets me through that is the idea that he is stuck because of the boy.
So the only thing that makes sense to me to break free is to get away; get another job and get out of the area. It's funny I dreamed last night about some military man I have never seen in a different country who took a fancy to me and who insisted I go out with him. It WAS kind of exciting to be pursued by some powerful man who could offer me diamonds instead of key chains or the occasional milk shake.
The picture you posted on 3/31, I can't see.
UMMM yeah, I have read all your posts. They are the same over and over. I just don't get really what your asking for on here? I mean the advice you have been given is coming from every angle, but then you come back with an excuse for your behavior or M's behavior every time.Quote:
lilliandiana disagrees: Obviously you didn't read the several posts that were helpful to me--specifically the one where I said that feeling second choice and taking advantage of--and I do sometimes--was my choice. That if I didn't like it I could change it did help me.
So like I said, the advice on here could go on and on, but it is YOU who will have to make that final decision to go on with your life and dump M's butt and let him make that choice of who is more important. I think he is using his son as a vice NOT to leave his wife. Excuses excuses excuses!
You know I have read all the responses to my question along with other peoples stories in the same position as me, and its so true, after you look back and see all the lies that the married man told you it comes together like a puzzle. I was with him for 9 months and while that might not seem like a long time to some people it was to me, I felt like he was the man that I have been waiting for. But now its so odd how he never wants to see me anymore, or doesn't take me out or anything. I did believe him when he used to tell me that he wasn't with her intimately, but now that I think about it maybe that was a lie too. I have never been in a situation like this before with the whole married man thing, and its almost like if its as bad as he says it is then he would have left. He always told me that there was nothing there for her, I mean of course there was love there as a friend or so he told me so but as far as being in love like a married couple should on his part there was nothing there, and I believed it I think that I still do or at least part of me does. I always took his word for gold the whole time which is odd because of what he was doing behind her back and I know for a fact that this is not the first time that he has done this to her. Then I started to think can I ever trust anyone like this? If he does it with me he will do it to me. I hope that I'm starting to see the light. Im not in any way saying that this is easy but I am trying and letting the cards fall the way they are meant to fall. I know that in my heart I love him very much but I want to be more than someone's toy! Sometimes the hardest lessons are the best ones and I hope that no matter what happens I will see better and more clear after this. But on another note if he isn't happy why can't he leave? No kids involved, its almost like he's afraid to be happy, and trust me if there are no feeliings there like you should have for your mate they are never going to be there. Well any more advice would be helpful to me..
At some point, you have to gather together the courage and just do what needs to be done. Almost everyone has urged you to do what's right and break up with this married fellow. This is a situation where you need to follow your head, not your heart. I think you are scared to let go. But you must. Make a deadline for yourself and do it. No one will do it for you. He certainly won't unless you cross that invisible line in the sand (ask incessant questions about his wife, call his home, start insisting he get a divorce, etc.). I almost wish you would do that because then he'd dump you faster than you can imagine and this whole mess would be over. I sometimes think, in your case, that it'll only be over if/when he says it's over. You've wasted 2 1/2 years on him. I have a feeling it's going to go on for a very, very long time. You first posted on March 24, tomorrow is April 1st. Call that fool tomorrow and tell him not to contact you again or you'll be calling his wife and then the police. Then hang up. Then cry. Then figure out why you hate yourself. And change your number. And get checked out for STDs. Do it! Just do it! Make April Fool's Day a new beginning for you!
Has it ever occurred to anyone that these men may, and usually are Class A liars! I mean, it's no secret that many men are afraid of commitment for mainly one reason, they don't think they can handle the "one woman for life" bit. So, they don't. They cheat. So, in order to cheat and get away with it, they have to lie about it. The women they married may very well be the best thing since sliced bread, and they love her to death, BUT, they still need more. Different. It keeps them young, feeling like they can still attract others. So, in order to successfully get into another girl's pants, they paint the whole, I'm not happy, she doesn't treat me right or I fell out of love picture to get sympathy. This way, they can feel good that they are good to their wife's in every aspect and that the affair is just for a variety of sex, this way they don't have to go to hookers and get diseases. And, they get the loving girlfriend who makes them feel excited because they have something on the side and it satisfies their appetite. They may have several of these girlfriends.
Just a thought.
Ohhhhhhh is that NOT the truth. But my whole argument with this young woman, is WHY does SHE put up with it?? She is the one who needs to walk away, cause WHY would he walk away from a good thing?? The man has a wife and a girlfriend. What man wouldn't want that? I don't know, it just makes no sense to me WHY anyone would be in that kind of a relationship! I guess I am different.Quote:
Has it ever occurred to anyone that these men may, and usually are Class A liars!
But with everything said here, you would think she would see that it is not a healty place to be in her life!! :rolleyes:
Brooklyn1380,
You know, reading your post, I must admit, you are writing the very thing my married one told me. It is amazing how married me are not original. But let me tell you this much -- His happiness is not your concern. You made it your concern because you developed feelings for him however, you must detach yourself. Any man will agree with me when I state, " A man doesn't have to be happy to be married or to remain married." People get married and stay married for different reasons (e.g. money, sex, security, status, & the list goes on). Everyone doesn't get married for love and commitment. And that should be enough to help YOU walk away. You heart is telling you one thing and your brain is losing the battle. Let me say this. My mother told me that men can spot a needy and desperate woman. It is an aura that "we" give off about ourselves and makes it easy to prey on. Ergo, married men are attracted to them. Why because it is easy to come and go. Think of this, the moment you walk away, there will be another woman there for him if there isn't one already. He isn't faithful to his wife, nor is he faithful to you because you are #2 in the line-up of probably 3 or 4. If you really want to see his TRUE colors... do what I did and let the wife know who you are and where her husband has been. Not vindictively, but approach her as a woman and see if he doesn't defend his home and tell you to get the hell on. When the dirt you do in the street comes to your front door (i.e. his marriage and home) then all hell will break loose. And that is real. Test it and see. Your feelings will get hurt, but you will see what you are so in love with.
I think this is a great point and I guess it actually makes me ask the question to Lilliandiana, what is it your looking for? Your seeing a therapist at your own expense, your wasting your life at your own expense, your using your own personal emotional reserves at your own expense, your completely broke in every sense of the word, that is not finanicially related, and maybe even there too. He provides, nothing to you, which to your credit you at least recognize.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lolakay1
But it begs the question, What are you really searching for? I think you've got the answer, I think you know the answer, so what's left? Are you looking for courage, strength, motivation, or something else that I can't think of. Maybe you haven't even thought about it. Try and think what it is that your searching for because this isn't the path you want to be one and you know that but you keep traveling down it anyway.
NOVICE, you know I have thought so much and more recently to go to his wife and tell her, not to be mean or throw it in her face, but to find out the truth or maybe some form of it. To find out what has really been going on and all he does is lie so I can't believe anything that he says, but I have thought about asking her things like on this date and so and so time was he with you? He has used every excuse in the book he even had told me after he stood me up one night for the 20th time that her grandmother was sick and she was too upset. I mean I always wanted to believe in him and always did but its so odd how one day you wake up and see the light and see everything for what it really is. I always believed that something is either black or white but after going through all the tears I can honestly say that sometimes there is a gray area. I don't know if I can emotionally face her yet, I still don't understand how he could just change like that and be such a cold person, but I guess he never changed it just took me a little longer to see it? What do you think
Hi to all you young ladies in this situation -
This is all so very sad -
Here's the thing - Whether he is being honest, loves you - doesn't loves you and so on...
Ask yourself this one question - If... this married man were to leave his wife (who he vowed to love, honour and cherish) for you and broke her heart and devastated her, can you imagine yourself, turning your back, grabbing this married man's hand and walking away happily?
Could you honestly feel true 100% happiness for the rest of your days, knowing that this now exwife is sitting alone, every night crying herself to sleep. The vision of that alone would give me the strenghth to say, No - no more, I can not do this to another individual.
Just try for one moment - to put aside your sadness, the love that you think you have for this man. Just for a minute. Visualize yourself as this man's wife. Be in her shoes. Forget the negative things he may have said about her. Imagine this happening to you. Try and feel the pain that his wife would feel and then compare it to what you are feeling now. There is a difference. A big difference.
I promise you, I do not judge you, any of you, at all. It's almost like a well that you fell into and I am hoping beyond hope that you can pull youselves out.
To be quite honest, I would much rather be the one to hurt, than to cause hurt. Not sure how many happy days I would experience knowing I caused so much pain for someone else. The love that I would have for someone would never be enough to make it okay to shatter another's heart.
And Brook - Please Please and Please, do not, go to this man's wife. Please. This is not your place. You would be adding insult to injury. You may conceal your need to get answers by saying she has a right to know. Yes, she does, but not by you, and all that will work itself out, please don't have a hand in it. Work on healing the hurt that you are feeling.
See, you know this. What you lack is not knowledge, but will. Everyone here can validate, and maybe even add a bit to your knowledge, but they cannot give you will. That is yours and yours alone to supply. For the good of all concerned, I sincerely hope you find the power within yourself to actually act on what you know so well.Quote:
Originally Posted by lilliandiana
Its like a merry go round like I haven't called him at all, last night I stayed home and just hung out by myself thinking and pondering this whole situation (like I always do) and trying to figure out the lies from the truth, then this morning I get a text message saying the he hoped I had fun on my date last night, see that's what I don't get, I haven't seen anyone else but this married man and for some reason he tries to pull it out of thin air to get in his own head that I am. I myself aren't ready to even think about another relationship, but I know that it's bugging him a lot. And that's OK I guess, I'm trying to move on but I would like some answers from him, who knows if I ever will get them.
Brook
Brooklyn,Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklyn1380
I may not have been as clear in my communication of my post to you. By telling the wife, you are letting go. Telling the wife isn't to verify his dishonesty. The wife doesn't have to answer anything and more than likely she will tell you where to go and how to get there, if you know what I mean. Or she may have a lot of questions for you contacting her home. Because at that point, YOU will be the one in the wrong because you are the other woman. She may already know about you. By simply bringing his dirt to his front door is for you to see his true character which you are blinded by now because you are in-love with this man. Let me tell you... he WILL protect his marriage and his home. He WILL become angry with you because you are no longer a secret and you are trying to come out of the dark. He WILL discontinue communicating with you so he can repair his marriage and that IS what you want if you truly want to move on. I just want you to see what you are so in-love with and sweetie, it isn't much. So don't let 9 months turn into 4, 5 or 10 years. He will still be married when you come out of it. Messing with a married man is exciting for both people involved but you will never be more than single because there is no such thing as having a married boyfriend. It is the pain that will come when you tell the wife and hopefully it is enough pain to push you far enough away from him. Plus, the wife will not divorce him so if that is your hope by telling her, don't tell. If anything, she will hold on just to spite you. And make sure she isn't crazy and wants to come after you. Just something to keep in mind. Don't try to figure out his lies, there are some things you will never get the answer to (even when you have been nothing but honest and genuine to a person) and there are some answers you don't want to learn -- trust me.
What do I want? I guess I want him to feel enough for me not to be able to STAND being apart from me. I guess I wish he would walk through all the crap and heck, even FIRE, just for the opportunity to make me his. I wish he would think to himself, "Damn, what a woman! What a catch! What a lucky bastard I am that she loves me." But that is a fantasy.
2 1/2 years ago, I was different; he was different. He told me right up front he was never getting a divorce; never leaving his marriage. He never lied about his feelings. He never cried about how miserable he was. He never mentioned her --period. EVER. He said his son needed him and if he left she would make sure the boy hated him and he couldn't take that. I still had my boys at home and they took up all of my time--except for the weekends they went to their Dad. I was sooo lonely when they were gone, and M's attention helped. So we went on--every other Sunday.
But now my boys are gone and I have made a life of my own. NOW I want someone to share it with. Because we work together, I see him every day; talk to him every day. He has seen me in every mood imaginable. He has done cartwheels to cheer me up when things are crappy-- and when he caught his son with pot, I tried to do the same.
I would never hurt him or his family by saying a word to his wife.
My son, who knows his son slightly at school says M's son runs with the drug crowd and is headed for trouble. Meanwhile my son makes straight A's and plays football. M's son needs a stable world and his Dad. I am not so selfish that my needs outweigh that.
I wish it was as simple as if he loved me he would walk away.
I KNOW I have to be the one to end it but I feel like he is wrapped in and around my heart like cudzu.
It is so hard not to love him.
"I know...but I feel..."Quote:
Originally Posted by lilliandiana
Yes, you know, but you aren't willing to act on what you know, therefore you suffer. Your suffering will continue until you decide to act on what you KNOW instead of what you FEEL.
We all know how hard it is to do the right thing. You will have a lot of support if you try.
Sigh... well like I said
Until something purges this thing from you: --->love<----
You will continue your situation as if nothing is wrong.
Well I have had my few shares with cheating but put yourself in his position if it was you and you knew your ex husband would turn your boys husband you what you do run away with the love of your life and not worry about your boys or would you just bear it and not see that secret lover and know your boys will always love you and be there
Alizeblu - I never implied that there were no men out there who could handle one woman! I said "many" men couldn't handle it. I also never said that there was a perfect man out there. I don't think anyone would seriously look for perfect, but to meet the criteria that they have set up for themselves.
The old married guy deal. 2 1/2 years and of course he hasn't left his wife.
Remember - he cheated on her - HE WILL CHEAT on you.
This is insanre. You're only being used by a BIG loser.
Hi, guys. Sorry I haven't been in touch. Hectic here with my class and the job and a 24 year old moving out and leaving a HUGE mess behind. I am thinking about all the responses, but right now I just don't know what to say.
I am hoping that once I get my house back in shape that I can start writing on my novel again. Then I will have the strength to end it with M and move into a whole new era in my life.
I guess I just hate that so many of the responses act like I am the victim of a con man. I am not dependent on M for anything except tenderness--which I am willing to take as a substitue for the love I truly need. He's probably as much a crutch for me as I am for him in not facing what our lives are really like.
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