 |
And inspire thoughts of suicide or cutting or other self abuse. It is also a topic for heartrending poetic ululations.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Unrequited love is a ridiculous state, and it makes those in it behave ridiculously. ~ Cassandra Clare
I'm not. I'm not hurting somebody or even myself for that matter. How is what I'm doing twisted? I'm not trying to be combative, I'm just encouraging someone to save themselves for someone that they LOVE.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
But the love is not returned, so why waste her life pining for something that will never be? NO, it will never be!Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Well if she is her best friend they obviously have some sort of relationship and if the attention/slash way he treats her makes her feel so great, then I don't recommend her abandoning her hopes. Besides some people have such an intense longing for one person other people don't even appeal to them. And there is ALWAYS hope that it will be I mean, people change all the time. Somewhere down the line this guy may think to himself, "This girl really likes me and seems awfully nice, maybe I should try being in a relationship with her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
He's already thought that and has discarded the idea. She is wasting her life thinking it will happen again. She is an incurable romantic, by the way, whose main concern is herself, not himQuote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
I don't know, she seems to care about him pretty deeply by what she says.
So? He doesn't care about her in the way she wants him to. Even being friends is not a good idea right now.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
I care deeply about Johnny Depp, but it isn't getting me anywhere.
How long does a person hold false hope that the object of your affection changes the way they feel and fall in love as you so desperately want? Its not healthy for anyone to NOT accept reality.
You may be willing to compromise YOUR dignity and self respect for the crumb and illusion of a one way love, but don't suggest it to others especially when it causes them pain, and misery and harm to themselves.
Don't worry, WG, Brad Pitt hasn't returned my calls, but I am still hodling out hope.
Garboozle, if you read through your questions and answers you seem unhappy and uncertain in your personal life. Why would you wish that on anyone else (as "Tal" said so eloquently)?
You are all over the place with your emotions - you question your employment, your future, and then you make comments like this one: "Well she IS the top priority, leaving the country was an exaggeration If I were with her I wouldn't care less about the state of the economy. ."
You are giving up your beliefs, feelings, thoughts in order to pursue your "undying love" for a person who very obviously does not love or even like you in return.
Do you think we should switch to Sean Connery?Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
To continually pine after someone who does not feel the same way about you is just dysfunctional. Why would a stable person do that. Yo know this guy does not love you. You need to get some counseling. The function and happiness of your life should not depend on another person. You are coping out of life and using this guy as an excuse and it is not attractive in the least. It is pitiful desperation.
I'm not wishing it on someone I'm simply telling her to follow her heart, as Lao Tzu says "At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want."Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Aren't we all a little uncertain in our lives? You can't blame someone for trying to better their career and achieve higher education or for worrying about the US economy given it's current state, I mean come on.
Not sure about the OP but in my case this "unrequited" love has positives. I have two arduous twelve hour shifts ahead of me, but I know I'll get to see her Friday night and I greatly look forward to it. It gives me inspiration, motivation and hope because I know how happy seeing her will make me.
Seeking to better your career or get a higher education is way different from wasting your time drooling after a person for whom the feelings will not be returned. That is a waste. What if there was a person out there just waiting for you to notice them and you could be happy? Or are you afraid to have a real honest to goodness relationship? I think you are coping out too. You are afraid and insecure so you are doing the easy and in my opinion pitiful thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Deep down inside I feel like I can do this, I can get this person to like me. I'm good looking, charismatic (despite how I come across in the forum), and I spend a lot of money on her, which shows I'm caring and loyal. I don't know if there is someone waiting for me to notice them or not but what I do know is that I'm not really attracted to anyone else at this point. I'm not afraid of an honest relationship as I have been trying to start one with this person for over a month now! It is not easy, there are times this whole thing drives me to tears or gives me a headache.
No, it doesn't. It shows you are trying to buy her affection.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
You need to wake up. You are looking like a desperate man and that is not attractive, I don't care how much money you spend. Why put yourself through that agony? Get some counseling.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Again, despite how I come across here, I'm pretty good at masking my desperation. I guess I may come across as a little desperate to her, with how much money I give her and for the periods I spend just waiting for her to talk to me. Some people see it as desperation I see it as dedication. I think counseling would be a little extreme.
Give it a rest and keep in mind this is someone else's thread.
If you love her because of her beauty than "Fair is foul, and foul is fair."Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
My College major was English - I was taught that this means the fact that something is morally wrong does not make it legally wrong. The fact that something is well deserved does not make it right.
What is your understanding of the phrase?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Well, I am still in high school and my teacher told me that this means nothing is what it seems. What is good is bad, and what is bad is good; What looks fair and appealing can cause you harm, and the opposite is also true.
We are on the same page here, the main theme is deception.
I am old school and a plumber by trade who thinks it a lousy idea to hold on to someone that has let you go a long time ago. Even if I was so moved to try it again, I wouldn't hope for much, and would be ready to let it go permanently if it failed.
Been there done that, and that's how I know well about FALSE HOPE! And for damn sure I would never keep giving money to a stripper and think that's a healthy way to pursue romance!
Just saying.
I know, it is not easy to forget. You really need some help, because you are obsessed.
I have an obsession too, so I understand you, sometimes I think too much, to the point where I get a headache; I remember the silliest details that you probably don't pay attention to. It is like the world moves on, and you are left to wonder about this alone. Still, that does not drive me to do something idiotic. I wish I can make it stop, but when I can't, I just have to deal with it and that is what I do.
Sometimes, some ideas get stuck in your head that you can't forget, and sometimes it's normal and other times it goes to far. Like giving money to a stranger, for this reason you need help if you can't handle it yourself.
You know what they say, when you meet someone you should have something nice to say about them. Did you ever share a special moment together? This you need to ask yourself.
Take it from someone else who has an obsession as well. Unrequited love is a waste of time. Totally and completely. Rather than looking for someone to experience real love with you are wasting time obsessively pursuing someone who clearly doesn't want to be in a relationship with you when you COULD be actively looking for someone who WILL love you and who WILL care about you and make you happy. Think about that for a second. Is it really worth it? You may think so now but when you are thirty you will be quite disappointed in yourself for devoting so very much time and energy on a love that indubitable would not work. I believe P!nk said it best when she said "I swear, your just like a pill, instead of making me better, you keep making me ill".
Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Why the sudden change? You were all about how wonderful it was and how great you felt buying one-sided love... something happened?
Just a lot of thinking. I still can't say I'll never see her or spend money on her again. I haven't reached a conclusion on rather all that time and energy is worth it or not because there are some positives. It's really complicated... For me anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by odinn7
"One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions "
Very nice emotional line.. :-)
What? Are you giving me an advice? I REALLY hope this is not about me.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Why would you think that's to you? He posted many times on this question to the OP so what could possibly make you think it was to you?Quote:
Originally Posted by Zea
Yeah, that was totally at the OP.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zea
Good, So what does OP stand for?
OP = original poster or original postQuote:
Originally Posted by Zea
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Thanks for being so kind, I really did not get OP at first.
Garboozle, "it's complicated" is not the answer to every time you switch from that side to this side and then back again.
But it is so very complicated. I realize what I said on post #64 is the rational and most realistic view, probably the healthiest too and the view that I strongly encourage the OP to take.. But. On a night like tonight that I have off, I have no friends to hang out with and nothing to do. So I think I'll go see her because where else can I go where I'll be hugged, be able to have conversation, be appreciated, and have fun?Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
Do what I do: read a book. Silver Linings Playbook is terrific. I just started reading Olive Kitteridge. I also have a crossword puzzle going. Or hang out with us here.Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
Awh, man. I've read so many books I'm burnt out. Two Star Wars novels, two political science books, two books on body language,Batman Knightfall, The Last Song, and Batman & Philosophy and that's within the past four months. Crossword puzzles aren't my thing and I'd really like some face to face communication/ get out of the house for a bit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
Plan stuff ahead, and you have something to look forward to. Got cousins or family? Man a sport bar for NCAA tournament was standard this time of year back in the day. Alone or with friends. Geez guy, go make some friends.
Same to the OP, a life that you enjoy starts yesterday.
I only have a dad and brother, other than that, no family. I'm not really the sports bar type. Also it's a little difficult to just walk up to a stranger and strike up a friendship.
I do it all the time! And even did when I was your age. You can too!Quote:
Originally Posted by garboozle
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:29 AM. |