Originally Posted by
hheath541
At 14, she's not old enough to know what a real relationship is, so can't want one.
I was very mature for my age, at 14. I also wanted to find the portal to Narnia.
I never fell into the petty fights and drama that are so common at the age. I had a fairly realistic, if a bit simplistic, world view. I was holding nearly straight A's, and had perfect attendence. I was active in my church, including an early morning scripture group before school. I followed the rules, because I knew they were there for a reason. I did my homework without being told, and kept my room clean. I babysat my niece when asked. I was pretty solely responsible for cooking my own meals, and didn't live on cookies and PB&J sandwiches.
I spent all my free time reading. I wanted to pet a unicorn. I thought the world was black and white, and everything that didn't fit within my definition of 'right' was 'wrong.' I knew I wanted to go to college. I'd meet a nice boy at church when I was 18, fall in love, get married, and have as many kids as I ended up pregnant with. I'd be a stay-at-home mom, and my husband would make enough money for us to own a huge house and go on lots of vacations. The kids would be well behaved, and there would be no fights in my family. We'd have several cats, a dog, birds, fish, and various other pets. The house would always be clean, and we'd always have big family dinners where we talked about our days. All my friends would be married with kids the same ages as mine, and they'd play together and be best friends, until my kids married their kids and we all became one big family.
I was 14. I was SURE of what I wanted, and that I would have no problem getting it. I lacked the maturity, experience, and knowledge to understand that what I 'wanted' was not only HIGHLY unrealistic, but not what I would want even two years later. I had all the big parts of my life planned out, and didn't even realize there were details to worry about. I was SURE that everything would just kind of happen on its own, if I wanted it enough.
It's simply NOT possible to make responsible and informed decisions, at that age. I had adult goals, but a child's understanding of how the world worked, and I didn't even realize it. Without the chance to learn and grow and figure out who I was and what I wanted, WITHOUT worrying about how it would effect someone else, I never would've gained the adult understanding to go with the adult goals. Being in a relationship means you can't change your goals, because you've already commited to them. If I had someone expecting me to hold to the goals I had at 14, I would be miserable. That simply is not the person I was supposed to be, and being in a relationship would've forciby stunted my emotional growth by severely limiting the directions I could grow in. It would've been like building a roof and three walls around a plant. The damage wouldn't have been noticeable until the barriers were removed, and you could see that it only grew in one direction.
