Don't be back there unless u feel less emotional.don't let her to see you weak.give yourself a few weeks,time is miracle,you will see.do you know who is she with now?u need to look better when u go there and get your belongings.
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Don't be back there unless u feel less emotional.don't let her to see you weak.give yourself a few weeks,time is miracle,you will see.do you know who is she with now?u need to look better when u go there and get your belongings.
Say nothing but thanks for the memories and leave the emotional drama out of it. You keep your dignity, self respect, honor and grace.Quote:
I don't know what to say when I'll be back to collect my belongings.
Cry later in your own privacy if you must.
I don't know if she with someone, I'm not sure, she never confirmed it, I'm terrible reading between lines, but I feel that it must be, otherwise all this does not make any sense. I think I will be better by next week, I will ask her, I mean as hard as it can be, I can accept that, if she fell in love with someone, I'm happy for her, at least I will understand her, I won't cry anymore. What goes around comes around, I was in similar situation if that's really what's happened. I'll wish her well.Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
She will tell you the truth if you show her that you are more understanding man then she used to know.I'm sure there is other guy involve.you can't keep her happy then she seeking somewhere else in secret.she will only make decision when she almost sure that guy is good enough for her.woman are evil and selfish.
I spoke to my husband today.He look skinner which is good because he were a bit fat before.I did told him he was fat but he told me that it was not very nice to say.See ,you guys just does not like to hear the truth and our feelings at all.
You sound better today so good work,keep it up like that.
Thank you, I'm staying at good friends that I know since childhood, they keep me busy and they support me greatly, the beautiful weather outside does help too, it's worm and quiet and sunny, my friends live in village with nice locals, friendly community. I lived in central part of megapolis, I'm going to move back in that area next week, but at the moment it is fantastic retreat and I enjoy to be here.Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
Your husband might loose weight because of stress he is going through. I did, I'm skinny :) , but now I become even skinnier. I lost 4-5 kg in a week or so. Anyway, it is not nice to say to your husband that he is fat, it does sound rude, I mean there are ways to say that in a more polite way to tell the truth.
It is nice to hear that.keep me update.soon you will realize that single life isn't that bad.Sometime I think I need to be with husband or boy friend,I felt like I need one of them in my life but I'm alone now,both of them are far away in different countries,feel like single and actually enjoy it.
Have a nice vacation,get some fresh airs and refresh yourself.will you go back to work next week?
Thanks, I'm glad you sound happier too. And yes I'm working in Monday, I really wish I could have some time off, it's not possible now. The Wednesday scares me a little, I promised to move my things, but I'll be fine, I think the uncertainty feeling caused most of my stress. Thank you verydarkhere for anticipating in my situation, you did help me to understand more.Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
Maybe work also help a lot,it will distract you from thinking about her.you know she gone so you only 1 option which move on.
I'm also still in very difficult circumstance.I want to go visit my boy friend and want to know him better but my husband asked for another chance.I don't want to break his heart but on other hand I want to be happy and I have chance to do it now.I'm curious if out there is another person who could make me more happy than husband does.if I come back to him now,my soul and body are not complete to him then I will break his heart again so why not done it now.
I guess people go through similar experiences in their life, I do believe it is all up to us, if it is break up or falling in love it can be one persons feelings but it takes both to move on, I was in love once with girl that had a boyfriend for quite few years, she was not very very happy, they were good to each other, but she came to me, she needed support and I just fell in love madly, I felt she did too. She was in very hard situation, we all were as we were friends, and she decided to disappear for some time, she wanted to be alone for some time, I was still in touch with her, but there was a moment when I should have done a move, but I did not, It is hard to understand women, so she moved on, she met someone else, they have a happy family with 2 kids.
Me and my boy friend can talk good to each other.he is very listener and understanding man.so we are very open to each other which is good relationship base on.I wishes me and my husband could have done the same then this situation would not happened.And I wonder if relationship born in infidelity can last long?as you said your friend has a happy family which make me feel a bit more confident.Quote:
Originally Posted by dmitriz
Good luck to us.
Probably there was a similar situation here. But it was not always like that. I think that we all want to be happy, and we all selfish in a way. We all different too, but love is such a great feeling, I doubt I will ever feel it again in a way I did, may be that is good thing. After this weekend I start understanding that what hurts me more now and will later is loneliness. The person who was by my side for a long time is gone, and I'm not strong enough for another and not sure when I will be. But Good Luck To Us!Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
Just concentrate on yourself buddy, like I said whatever happens in the future you want to be prepared for anything, build yourself and now is the perfect time because you are single and whatever you do now is something you will do on your own and there is no girl out there you owe for your future success.
Maybe in the future you cross paths with you ex and you still want her at least you are prepared maybe in the future a better woman comes along at least you are prepared time to grow yourself BIG really BIG so any person and thing that comes along you are prepared to accept.
Hey,how is everything going?how is work?I'm pretty sad now because I still don't know what is the right thing to do.at least you know what u need to do.Quote:
Originally Posted by dmitriz
Any news ? I'm in the same situation
I'm going to move out my things today, I'm very nervous, I accepted that it is over, as sad as it is, that is the end of my relationship with this girl, but I'm scared to see her.
Stay strong, and stick to the task of retreiving your things. High emotons will make it harder than it has to be. You've already taken some really big steps, don't waver now.
Keep any conversation courteous and to the point, "where is my so and so?" "thank you", etc.
You'll get through it fine.
How was moving out day?I hope u did acted right.Quote:
Originally Posted by dmitriz
No I did not act right, I collected all my belongings, almost all, some still left, she cooked some food, we had some beer, we talked, we cried she said that there is someone else, but she does not love him.. she does not love me either, I can see she is confused, at the end of the day she asked me to leave, I saw tears in her eyes, I promised her to fix something that had to do long time ago, so I had to come back today and spend most of the day doing it, she was cleaning. She is cooking now again for both of us. I'm going to leave now, I don't think I will see her again soon, I will be working more now as I do not know what to do in my spare time. I do love her dearly. I do not know how to get her back. I'm such an idiot.Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
It was sad.don't contact her till she contact you.she loved you but it got kill by times and many bad things combine.But I don't think it was only your fault.Peoples does get bore in long relationship,special a rough one.Couple break up,move on then they can't find anyone who could fit in their life good as they used to have then they go back together.Focus more on work and may be sign up for course which will support more for your career.go to the gym.Prepare a good future for you and who ever to come you later.hang out with your good friends?Quote:
Originally Posted by dmitriz
I give myself a month without contact either my husband and my boy friend so I hope I can find out what I really want.I also don't know how to kill my free time.my best girlfriend moving to London soon.what's bad timing.
Thank you for support, it does make me feel better. I have mixed feelings. I was still waiting for her move, and it almost happened yesterday, but almost does not count ). And today I realised that it is pointless for me to try to be with someone who does not want me around. I will get used to be on my own. Hey, London is a really great city, you should visit your friend and see new places too.Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
Sometime singles is suck,special for peoples who have been in long relationship like us.it get worse at night.we need to use to it.or you should find new date.I think it is the fastest way to forget someone.hehe.
I would like to go to London to visit my girl friend but she need to settle down and find jobs,etc... and I can't go to UK now because my boyfriend is in European so my husband would not let me go there before I make my decision.my husband is American and I'm an Asian.I would like to go to Europe on this Xmas anyway.
Sorry, I have to disagree with this statement, it is not fair to either party to get involved emotionally or sexually with someone before the healing is done.Quote:
Originally Posted by verydarkhere
It's called rebounding and rarely works out favorably for anyone.
You are right but I mean that should not date someone else too fast till you understand what was happened without anger or want to revenge.. . the healing could take forever if you just be on your own and waste the time of your life.when you meet somebody special then you pay attention to them more and you would not have time to look back the pass.Dating someone else is always a part of the rebounding plan.someone else could take your pain away and replace happiness.or am I wrong?Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySam
I've never heard of the rebounding plan. And from experience I can tell you that healing doesn't take forever.
What you usually find when you start dating too early is that for a while that person is the high you have been needing, and then reality sets in and you realize that you have simply traded one set of problems for another set of problems.
Then not only are you back to square one, but you have involved and hurt someone else when you could have either 1) worked on the former relationship without the complication of a third party or 2) ended the former relationship and taken the time to get to know yourself again, be happy with you so that someone else could be happy with you minus the emotional baggage.
Going out is a good thing, friends and acquaintances help to keep you occupied, give you a support system, but to start dating with the intention of romance before you are healed from the pain of a failed relationship is not a good idea in my honest opinion.
There is always 2 sides,bad side and good side.Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySam
-Bad side is as you said' when you start dating too early is that for a while that person is the high you have been needing, and then reality sets in and you realize that you have simply traded one set of problems for another set of problems.'
-Good side is that when u date someone else who might guide you away from the pain and help you realize that you deserve better.Break up is hurtful and it is actually hurt in your chest.Special for peoples who had been in long relationship like us.we hate loneliness,feel like we can't live without them.And I think this way is the fastest way out in my opinion.it called move on.My girl friend got dump with a baby in 3 years relationship and she tried to heal her pain in 2 years,it did not go anywhere and cried every night till she works and she actually dating again and she feel so much better.
I prefer to not take the focus from dmitriz, after all this is his question pertaining to his problem.
I actually do see some misguided thoughts in your post, to my way of thinking.
I'd rather not take away form the OP to present that to you, but if you'd like I would be happy to express my thoughts to you...
Here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...go-699846.html
dmitriz, I hope things are going well for you. And you are holding up.
Thanks, it is either I'm taking it too well or I can't realise that it is happened, I still have mood swings, and I do get upset when something reminds me the time we've spent together. Unfortunately almost everything does, but I feel that she must have similar feelings, but I won't do anything to get her back, as it seems that doing so only make the things worst. Today is the last day when I have to go to hers to take the last part of my belongings, I'm trying to write a list to not forget anything, I don't want to go there any more.Quote:
Originally Posted by LadySam
I don't want to argue here because this is dmitriz's post.his Situation is similar to my mine.and I going to do something the same as his girl friend did to him.she left him without explain thing good.I'm here to cheer him up and help him know what we are thinking,we are know that we are heartless but things happens for reasons.
I don't really tried to tell him how to heal his pain but I do help him to understand what was happened.I spoke to him like the insider.and the way I told him about finding a new date which it was haft real and half joking but you never know it might help.He feel a bit better and he will know what is the best for him to do after.
I did not said that you are wrong but I don't think mine is wrong either.the way to post my link which is not very nice.
I'd rather not take away form the OP to present that to you, but if you'd like I would be happy to express my thoughts to you...
Here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...go-699846.html
I don't want to argue here because this is dmitriz's post.his Situation is similar to my mine.and I going to do something the same as his girl friend did to him.she left him without explain thing good.I'm here to cheer him up and help him know what we are thinking,we are know that we are heartless but things happens for reasons.
I don't really tried to tell him how to heal his pain but I do help him to understand what was happened.I spoke to him like the insider.and the way I told him about finding a new date which it was haft real and half joking but you never know it might help.He feel a bit better and he will know what is the best for him to do after.
I did not said that you are wrong but I don't think mine is wrong either.the way to post my link which is not very nice.
Things will be better after you have handled your unfinished business, and have a chance to breath and relax, and make adjustments.
I hope so, she asked me to move things tomorrow instead of today, and I start thinking about all the good times we've spent together and almost start crying again, it is unbelievable, I did not cry since childhood and this year it seems like I cry for all those years. I can't get her out of my head, I can't believe she did, this is f*** up situation. I can't find a way out of it.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
You are mourning the loss of this relationship, but time will heal you after you get your things. But it will take a while.
Thank you all for support, I won't be back here for a while, I will update this topic when the time will be right, and maybe it will be useful for someone else. I hope that people who meant to be together won't make mistakes like I did, I hope that if they will, they will have a courage to apologise, they will have a courage to accept apology, they will have a courage to give it another try, and maybe another after that and they will understand something important. Life is beautiful. It is much more beautiful when we have caring person whom we care about next to us. Peace.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Keep yourself well dmitriz, and allow me to thank you.
Your post was thought provoking to me, actually it made me think of something small but silly I recently said to my other half and I owe someone an apology.
The things we all learn form each other is amazing and, Yes life IS beautiful.
Keep your chin up and peace back at you.
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