Help! He's coming over tonight to get his stuff what do I say
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Help! He's coming over tonight to get his stuff what do I say
Have his stuff packed up, answer the door, give him his stuff, and say goodbye.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
What she said.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alty
Don't get mad at me for asking this. But what's the reason for doing that
It's over.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
We are on a break
break = no contact for two weeks
Break, breakup, it's really all the same at this point. He's picking up his stuff. Why would he do that if it was only a 2 week break? The reason is so that he doesn't have to contact you again when the two weeks is up and he makes it official. That's the way I'm reading this.
The reason you pack up his things, don't even let him in the house, hand him his stuff and say goodbye, is because you're doing no contact. Even better would be having a mutual friend pick up his stuff for him.
Yup. Everything Alty said.
So I already have an idea of how this is going to go... tell me if I'm wrong...
You're here asking for our advice and we're giving it to you. Very sound advice really. However, you're not going to listen to it when he comes over, are you?
You'll be back later complaining of or asking us about a new development in the situation and what should you do about it. Right?
Yup. Everything odinn7 said.
(Have you guys done this before?)
Oops! You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to odinn7 again.
I'd bet you on it, but you'll win.
What does that mean?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alty
The red part means that I tried to give Odinn a "helpful answer" reputation, but I recently gave him one and I have to spread the reputation around before I can give him a "helpful answer" rep again.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
The second part means that I agree with him, that you will likely not follow any of the advice we've given, and tomorrow, after he comes to pick up his stuff, you'll be back with yet another "I didn't listen, now he's mad, I don't know what to do, is it over" post.
I would make a bet with him that he's wrong, but it's a fools bet, because I'm sure that's exactly what will happen.
I'd love it if you prove me wrong. In other words, I'd love it if you'd actually follow the advice you've been given. But it's not a good bet. So far you haven't done one thing we advised you to do, so it's safe to say that this time won't be any different.
Ahh... but I was able to give you a +1 for your direct and blunt answer, Alty.
I also would like you to prove us wrong and do what we've said but I see that so far, you haven't listened and just made things worse.
You were able to rep me because I rarely say anything inspiring, therefore you had plenty of time to spread the rep. ;) Yes, I'm fishing for compliments. Bring it on. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by odinn7
I do have to say, you amuse me.
LMAO! If I had a dime for every guy that's ever said that to me, I'd be rich. Just saying. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by odinn7
Well here's what happened.
He ended it for good. Told me he had something to tell me and said he didn't want to get back in a relationship.
I thought I would be devrstated. Turned out I was relieved he told me an answer. I laughed when he told me it was over. Idk why but I didn't "beg" for him back or try to be like desperate. I just laughed.
He told me that I wasn't reacting the way he thought I would.. Anyway so I just sent him a text after it was all said and done and said thank you for doing it and I wish him the best.
You guys are going to think I'm stupid for saying this but I still have feeling for him and I want someday for him to come back.
He told me that nothing that I did made his decision for him. He kind of just knew he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore.
I plan on not talking to him anymore and haven't even had the urge to do so. But we will bothe be at the same small university at the end of August and we both have the same friends and hang out spots.
Maybe someday we will rekindle. But right now I will just push him out of my mind and move on. Or make it seem like that.
Good for you. At least now you have an answer and you can move on. Don't move on in the hopes of getting him back. Go out, live your life, date other people, and if it happens, it happens. But don't sit around waiting for it to happen. Okay?
I'm proud of you.
Just be patient I'm going through the same thing at the moment, I know its tough but just try to change and be a better person so that maybe you could have a second chance with him... I don't know that's what I think
Thanks! Yeah I don't want to wait around for him and am really going to try to move on. Im going to give it a month or so and try to move on but if I don't and still have strong feelings I'm just going to try to be friends and have casual hang out time.
That's the way to do it.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
Keep yourself busy, surround yourself with friends, and let your heart heal.
When you're ready you'll start dating again. There's no hurry. Don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. Besides, you still have some work to do on yourself. Don't forget about that. This relationship may be over, but that doesn't change how you treated him, and what you can do to change it.
Is that still something you want to do? If so, now's your chance.
Yes and I know I sound so stupid wanting someone when they clearly don't want me. But that humans we want things we can't have. At this point I just want to get him back the right way instead of being scared to death for an answer in 2 weeks like I was.
Now it's time to figure out my steps to get him back. Don't think I haven't researched this. Obviously I'm asking for advice from here so yes I'm looking for advice. I read somewhere where it said to mark my calendar for 30 days. At the end of the 30 days I should contact him.
Sigh.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
Have you learned nothing?
The object is not to get him back. It's to learn to live without him. Learn to better yourself. Learn to be the best you.
If I had a dime for every guy I absolutely had to have but couldn't, I'd be rich! Thankfully I followed the advice I'm giving you. I lived, I learned, and I found the right guy for me. If I had hung on to some guy that didn't want me, I wouldn't be happily married with 2 kids, a house full of pets, and living with the man I'm meant to be with. I'd still be sitting around wishing for something I can't have.
If your only goal is to get him back, I see nothing but heartache and a wasted life in your future.
He is no longer in your (romance) life. Now, since there are 7 billion people in the world so there are many men to check out, it's time to get your own act together and eventually find a new date.
Okay I'm just saying thatsbwhatvi plan to do. Could it work? Thanks for the advice I really am going to try to move on
In 30 days? No, it won't work. You will be ancient history by then.
Sorry, but what the heck does "thatsbwhatvi" mean? I read it 5 times and I still have no clue. Can you try again in English?Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
Until I know what you're saying, don't know if it will work or not. I'm guessing it won't, but that's a guess. Remember, we speak English, not bingo. It's before, not before, and I have no idea what "thatsbwhatvi" means.
Are you kidding me? I'm on my phone and didn't type right. It said "that's what I". You can be a bit nicer. All I am doing is asking for advice.. Sorry I had a typo.
I'm not trying to be mean. Typo or not, I didn't know what you were saying. Was I supposed to pretend that I understood? Would that have made it "nicer" for you?Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
Sorry, I don't pretend to understand. If I don't know what you're posting, I'll ask. I'm also not one to sugar coat things. I'm blunt, that's who I am. If I don't get it, I'll ask. Which I did. I also abhor chat speak, which is what your post seemed to be.
If you thought I was deliberately being mean, I apologize. I am not a mean person. I simply don't beat around the bush. I don't sugar coat. I say what's on my mind.
Let me put it this way. Ich koente dich nicht verstehen. Darum hab ich gefragt was du meinst.
It's German. Don't understand it? Well, that's how I felt.
If you say "I don't understand" , is that being mean? No. You don't speak German, right? So it makes sense that you'd ask what I wrote. That's what I did.
So wait a minute here...
All this and you came here saying:
An hour and 3 minutes later, you come back with:Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
Are you playing us? Are you just looking to string us along or get attention? In your first post, you're ready to just go with it and in your second one, you're planning on, and asking advice about getting him back.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
You are setting yourself up for some major emotional pain. You haven't listened... you heard, but didn't listen. All the advice you're getting is just thrown out the window. I'm done here. I feel this is just a waste of time as you are already set on what you're going to do and you're just asking us just for something to occupy your time.
Then don't answer me if you don't want to. Duh when you're going through something you act out of instinct and I am sorry but I love the guy. First and last time I ever use a website for this stuff. :) thanks so much.
You think nobody else here has been through anything like this? You think we're just pulling these answers out of our as$es? No, you don't just go on instinct... but I do see that you just go on impulse... and in the long run, you will be sorry that you did.Quote:
Originally Posted by 012345
First and last time? So sorry. You're welcome!
I've posted on this before and got upset, but I really have changed the way I look at things.
My ex broke up with me about a month ago. At first it was a break, and then a week later he ended it. I have been annoying and called and texted him. (stuff I knew I shouldn't do) he stopped talking to me and just started ignoring me. Well one day I saw him and he called me crazy:( and then I realized I have got to change the way I'm going about this. I sent an apology text saying I was sorry and hope that someday we could be friends.
He replied and said its okay I accept your apology and this this was it he needs some space.
I didn't talk to him for about a week. And then saw him driving one morning and called him. He surprisingly answered and then he asked about another guy and acted like he didn't care. I asked him to get a drink and he said he would call me later on in the week.
I've texted him a couple times since then. (it's only been 3 days) one of my texts said are we still on for this weekend? (from me) and he said "umm yeah about that idk if I'm ready for that, it's not you it's me! I'm not saying no but not yes either"
I never replied and that happened last night. I was this guy back and I want to go about it the right way. Please help me out.
You sound like you desperately want him back. Just chillout and don't contact him so much, and if you do just do the basic one question one answer kind of communication - you must give him space though, probably a month should do it. If he texts you like that it means he's telling you to back off
Okay today he texted me and asked what I was doing? So I called him and asked if he needed something. He told me to come over so I did and then he told me that he thinks about me everyday and he has to try his hardest not to talk to me and now we agreed to work things out but right now we aren't in a relationship because we are trying to take it slow.
What do I do? I don't want to mess this chance that I have up.
Merged
How do you work things out without being in a relationship? Work out what things? How?
Why are you so all fired pushy about this? Desperate is NOT attractive. Neither is obsession. His agreement to talk it out and take it slow sounds so great to you, but all he has done is remain free, and uncommited and is no way a reason to have false hope.
Its one of those hope for the best but plan for the worst kinds of situations.
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