*** Moderators note****
English please,
|
*** Moderators note****
English please,
Well, I wish you meet someone for you too very soon.Quote:
Originally Posted by kytcd6
This was a test about my basic properties I guess. About my capability of loveing someone, crossing all my boundaries, I guess. It was a test which I failed. The failure shows I probably am NOT dedicated enough to her as much as I wanted to. This is what makes me sad.
My point of life was to be worthy of the inspiration said she would offer me ("i will / want to inspire you"), now that I don't have that goal, I feel pointless in life.
We all feel that way after a break up. But we heal, recover, get our strength back, and get to the next challenge, obstacle, event in our lives. Trust me break ups suck for all of us, but we survive, and thrive.
Now do as we tell you and get back to enjoying this reality, this dimension. Sometime it hurts, sometimes its fun.
Sorry Chuck, I started it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck
I can translate it for you if you want. It wasn't anything that broke site rules, but I do agree, since everyone on this thread does speak English, we should stick to that.
Just so you know, what I wrote in my post translates to "Everything has an end, only a wiener has two". :)
Reboot, and re input pertinent data. Time for full system recovery, 6 months. 96 hours is unreasonable. Disregard faulty data.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
A better lover? Only with practice.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
And the "energy out" was to keep your mind busy. Prolonging any type of suicide only means you are prolonging the most cowardly action know to mankind. Giving up on everything completely.
Lies hurt... move on, everyone lies, it is part of being human. Why bother going crazy over something you have no control over? Do the things you can with the things that you are ABLE to do, don't obsess yourself with the things you can't do anything with.
The remaining idle is to help you get over this situation, and it is the only way to heal from something like this... letting time pass by.
HehehehehheQuote:
Originally Posted by mmresd
I did not mean it in an italian way. Lol, if you know what I mean, I meant , in a symbolic way , someone who is more precise to his lover with statements and actions.
Ja, I am busy, but I ma performing so BADly... I can feel my heart literally bleeds... Like the same sensation all over the body, as if, I got cuts all over..
Love hurts. It hurts in every way. It hurts when you're in love, it hurts when the love is gone, it hurts when the person you love hurts you. Even people that have been married for years, very much in love, hurt each other.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
A breakup is hard. I remember many times when I felt exactly as you're feeling right now. I remember wanting to end it all because the pain was too much.
I know this sounds like cliché, but it's true. I'm so glad that I didn't end my life because of some jerk that didn't deserve me to begin with. Because I did live, I found love. I found the love of my life. We've been together more than half our lives, and we're still very much in love.
When you find real love, it will all be worth it. But you have to live in order to find it. You have to get through this tough spot, find the strength we all know you have, and then try again. The next girl may break your heart too. So may the one after that. But you can't give your heart to someone if you're not willing to have it broken. One day you'll meet someone that loves you as much as you love them. That's a promise.
Right now you just have to get through this bad time. Is that too much of a challenge for you? Considering all the other things you've accomplished, is this going to be the thing you can't overcome? I don't think so.
I did mean it in a symbolic way, only practice will make you better at loving, also true for making you better at the act of making love.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
A recent break up makes your whole body ache that is true, like I said: Time will take that away.
Before I went to medical school for one person I would want to know if that person really had the condition she says she has. For all you know she really doesn't (for one thing, dysautonomia is a broad term, so why didn't she call it what it was?), and that's why she broke up with you.
Here we are, last day.
How are you?
Well she did not know I had this, it was supposed to be a surprise for her :) once I get accepted to the pharmaceutical training first.
Sean, am I correct in assuming that the two of you are in different countries and that you have never met fact-to-face?
Indeed - if you do not count two years of remaining a shoulder to cry on...Quote:
Originally Posted by J_9
I mean how do you know she really has it?
And why are you so painfully generous?
Don't know, I was ready to do anything for her.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
Okay, so here goes to cold hard truth. Most likely you were just an internet affair for her. Unless you spend actual quality time with her in person and in real life you don't know what is going on when she is offline. Most likely she was available to you when it was convenient for her. It is very possible that her significant other found out what was going on after this lengthy affair and she found a way to break it off with you so as to keep her relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
Is there a reason why you are meeting women over the internet rather than in person?
I am looking for someone who can match me. Hehe, in real life as well as in the internet. Here is a list of what I want: http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Am-Sick-Of-Being-Single/2179480Quote:
Originally Posted by J_9
Of course this is intended to be a stupidity, but well, not everyone around the corner can offer me what I am looking for. This one apparently gave me what I was looking for.
A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman … I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.”
“Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry.”
“Yes, there was one girl … once. I guess she was the one perfect girl … the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything … I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me.”
“Well, why didn’t you marry her,” asked the friend.
“She was looking for the perfect man,” he said.
indeed!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
that writing is intended to be stupidity, where I list my expectations :)
but, I am a bit picky than to go with any random woman, whom you hit in a bar and so on. I am looking for a long term relationship , where we nurture each other.
For that long term goal, I guess, it is worth to make sure that
1. she is not abusive (I experienced that, abusive not as dominant, but abusive as traumatizing)
2. she is willing to stay with me, despite, among others
1. my diet of frog and snail hehe
2. habit of traveling to nowhere
3. my music taste which includes, among others, JS Bach, and excludes some ULTRAmodern pop artists...
3. we can hold a conversation (that is, not someone who bulls in the name of everything, experienced that too)
Is that too much to expect?
Again, I ask, what will she get from you?Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
What does she want? The last one wanted me to bring her rel stardust, that is meteorites, with particles of stellar origin embedded in it - that is easy. I can do that for my lover any time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
I am ready to cross my limits for her, as long as
1. she is not abusive,
2. does not bull everything in the name of everything.
3. shares at least partially my world
That is practically everything I am looking for..
You sound like you give too much, and consequently you expect too much.
Excessive generosity has strings attached and drives many people away.
If I were blind and you were preparing to give me an eye, I would leave you.
If you were a talented geologist and were preparing to go to medical school for me, I would leave you.
Why? Because I would owe you fidelity I'm not sure I could deliver.
Excessive expectations of such matters as honesty would make me uncomfortable to. As I said right at the beginning, everyone lies.
I think in some ways you are lying to yourself about what you are in love with - ideals. You seem more in love with yourself than people. You seem so sure that you are this honest person with everything to offer, but you don't want to look at what drives them away. Love is all about compromise and forgiveness. Tons of it.
Happened to me. Had a blind girl, who left me ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
If you are talking about the "faithfulness", I don't care how many people my partner is sleeping with, because that information does not lead anyone anywhere . As long as she is with me, does not ignore me, I am fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
You know, I had interested myself in a stupid mexican, who, one year ago, said that fidelity and , and dumped me when I gave her this freedom, and went for a macho mexican, and this year, she is repeating that how she wanted what I offered her from her "perspective boyfriends" hehehe
What makes something excessive? I asked this woman, that if she has to leave me for another man, she should say it straight? IS THIS AN EXCESSIVE requirement? Are you kidding?Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
No, ideals define me, but I am not narcissistic - not in love with what I am. I appreciate that I am true to ideals, and can do anything for that, but I ain't narcissistic.Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
First, did not someone above said I got to love myself first?Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
Second, I am notin love with myself
What makes you think that I do not do it??Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
Hehehehehheh I am an atheist, but I started learning meditation and spiritual things, for her, because I wanted to get in her shoes, so that I can compromise in the moment I needQuote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
PS: I do NOT expect my partner to return an eye to me , if I need it. I just expect her to be straightforward and non abusive with things.
PPS: if something intimidates someone, why can't they stand straight and say, sean, I am with you, in a relationship, and this is what I find uncomfortable.
PPPS: I know I expect straightforwardness which not everyone can offer. That is also a reason why I am picky.
PPPPS: strings? Did not the woman herself said she wanted strings attached?
Have you had failed real-life relationships? Why did they fail?
UPDATE:
she criticized a post I posted saying snow-white is coming to my town, pointing to a film due to be released soon (she liked cospaly, and alice / snow white was her preferences) about random things...
I said are you not the person who wanted to "smell roses and cut all virtual strings" (copying her initial breakup message)
she sent me a message in reply saying she want to wisely spend her time with her family, her people, and use the opportunities in the horizon .
what shall I understand from this little act of drama?
what can this possibly mean?
Yes I did. Before coming to the uni, I had one real life relationship, who broke up because I did not attend a birthday party of a friend of hers, whom I did not know.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
At the end of the uni, I engaged myself for someone, had a couple of times going out, then she thought she is better with a macho.
After uni, before this woman, there was someone who never was clear about her intentions, and life moved on to this one. (in fact, in comparison, this woman was more classy than this one, maybe I should have had taken MORE time for her... )
Before this one, I had one, in which I gave my virginity, but I could not hold a conversation with her. She is a drug addict (I don't mind), She has two topics:
Her grandchild or "do you love me"? Everything was too monotonic...
This is typical female behavior after she breaks up or takes a break. Ignore it. Do NOT respond to her again.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
Thank you. I will remember this.. I am solving my challenges that needed to be solved for other people, that gives me some joy.
Too bad I can not share it with anyone..
Now, my deep-thinking friend, tell me why females do this drama thing after a breakup.Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
I don't think I know the answer... but I would like to know if I made a mistake in anything.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
She is not my "friend" in the site where I posted. She is reading the public stream from me, and making those comments...
I wanted to see if you would get angry with me. It seems you did?
I'm still trying to figure out if you want to die or are just in pain.
Ah, let's delve into her psyche. Think about it. What does she gain by scattering bread crumbs (or blowing some loess?) your way and seeing you pick up the crumbs or get the silt in your eyes?Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
HeheheheheQuote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
I am never angry , I am really entäuscht , like disappointed. I never had an anger problem, yet I went through long training to get rid of anger completely - because anger decreases your capability of performance.
I am :
1. In pain.
2. In pain that I lost an integral part of me
3. life seems pointless without this, as the lose indicates further possible shortcomings
4. with those shortcomings, life is pointless
He's turning out to be quite an engaging figure, and I hope he sticks around. He could become a valued mentor on this site for others struggling through what he is up against right now..Quote:
Originally Posted by joypulv
Bread crumbs are used to feed ducks, and sometimes as a bait.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
If she is baiting me, why did she break up in the first place?
Ah, you are getting warmer. Two parts to this --Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
What will the bait accomplish for her if you succumb to it?
And yes, why did she break up in the first place? Was it something about you, or was it about her?
The only outcome to this will be the proof that I succumb.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
That is the question. I will take the fault on me, which is better than starting with accusing someone else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
That is exactly one question which is troubling me. What went wrong in me?
You DID succumb, though, so what was her gain?Quote:
Originally Posted by sean_s
Was it you? Or maybe the relationship just wasn't working, no fault on anyone.Quote:
That is exactly one question which is troubling me. What went wrong in me?
Or do you insist someone has to be at fault?
You know, I had interested myself in a stupid mexican...
You say you don't get angry. Contempt then. There are sides to you that aren't apparent at first, and they are just as ignoble and flawed as the rest of us.
No idea...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
She told me she will tell me if things did not work, when she was convincing me into it. But she did not give it a chance to review. She was not straightforward with a reason that hurt her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
No, no one has to be at fault, but the worst case is I am at fault. So I start with that, until , figuratively, I am proven to be not faulty.
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