Ask Me Help Desk - Myself esteem cost me my last relationship

Take the chance. I want to hear about it. It will be fine. Maybe for all you know that's what she is waiting for.

I didn't do it, spent all three days with her... onl been home to sleep...

Wow dude. If I was her I wouldn't WANT to be with you... why? Because you have no confidence!

Why would u say I have no confidence?

Are you two planning to see each other again soon?if so maybe next time?:-)

I would make a move already

Start with hugs guy, when she looks up wham!

You Ive been doing the hugging thing now for a bit, just wham huh, lol, ffs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartTrips

why would u say i have no confidence?

I've been reading this thread and I think it's sweet. It does seem like she's interested, so just sweetly kiss her and see what happens... or hold her hand and see what happens. I have to think she's waiting for it. :)

I thought I would give an update to the situation I have at hand...

We still hang out everyday and spend the weekends together. I have noticed that we are flirting a little more with each other in our texts and when we are with each other. She makes sure to give a hug at the end of the nights. I have a feeling something is going to happen in the next week but I don't know. We have plans to go to the drive in and I am going to be making food to take with us, we have made a regular habit of attending the drive in on tuesdays.

I really believe I have the green light to go ahead but I think she is purposely making it difficult for me because she wants me to beat the challenge.

Any advice from the women here would be great... she is thirty and I'm 28...

Thank you for the update! I can't believe it hasn't happened yet. Well if she is hugging you each night and you have the feeling she is ready then just do it. After the hug just pull back and look in to her eyes and go for it.

Can anyone tell me if she is is just saying she just sees me as a friend and nothing more by this text she sent to me today... "just wanted to say thankyou for a wonderful dinner and movie last night. Ur a great guy _____!"

This girl is killng me.

It seems like you like her and she likes you but the two of you are scared of making the first move or actually talking about your feelings toward one another. I think you should make your move and get out of this friend zone especially since you want more.

I thought I should give an update as to what has all happened since my last post.

We both agreed that something is happening between us and she thinks of me as a partner she can spend the rest of her life with. She wants to take it slow she said. There has been nothing more then hugs up to this point. We are on the same page with everything it seems like but I feel a little like something else has to be said.

:-) good luck-keep posting.

She wants to take it slow? Your original post was over four months ago. I don't see a problem at all with kissing. Maybe you should talk to her.

I give you so much credit. You're an amazing man for waiting so long for her. Good luck. I am happy your back updating us.

Sunflower thanks for your nice words.

Its hard for me to do this.

Their still hasn't been any kissing. I don't know how its going to happen. I love this girl. She is so beautiful inside and out. How am I going to do this. Im going to be sincere when I do it and I'm going to go slow when I do it. Im just going to take her hand and slowly kiss her but... I just love this girl, its going to be hard. I told her last week that she was going to have to keep me off her while were going slow... I commended her in a jokingly fashion that she has done a great job just yesterday... Its killing me because we are so caring to one another while we are together and apart... you should hear some of the texts I get... calling me sunshine and mr.may... she is so damn beautiful... and not even kissed her yet

Threads merged

I have a question for the women...

I am in a situation where it has been established that I like her and she likes me and neither of us are going anywhere... but agreed that we both want to take it slow because we know that holding hands, kissing, sex, although important, can lead you away from what's really important in a relationship. Would you still want the guy to hurry and kiss you?

I am a guy, and I never had a problem with moving in for a kiss.

If there is mutual attraction, why not get some sugar?

I'm a guy too. Just do what feels the most natural. If something feels forced, then slow it down.

I'm a woman and I think it's great for a man to take the initiative and kiss a woman.

Don't think too much - you'll destroy the moment - just do it!

sigh

That would be romantic...

..but that's just my [romatically starved] opinion.

I'm a woman and my reply is yes.

Give her a kiss. It is the most natural thing for lips to do.

I'm 28 and she is 30.

Great age to start smooching!
Does she seem like she is waiting for you to make the first move? Or has there been talk of friendship instead of romance?

For sure I have to make the first move, def. romance but like I said in the beginning of this thread,

I am a girl and an adult. And Yes, we like to be the one being kissed first. See after that... we can just up and kiss you whenever we want.:)

OK THANKS today though before I dropped her off at home I said that I think she is doing a fine job at keeping me off her again, she replied with well what's going on in your mind, I said back to her that I'm dropping you off now and I know we hug but that doesn't mean I don't want to slowly kiss up your neck and nibble on your ear and stuff, it wasn't uncomfortable.

I should do it alread?

Everybody always says that after you hug her hold her and look into her eyes and the wham... we don't really look into eachothers eyes after we hug...

I want to ask...

Your in your 30's and your "afraid" [nervous whatever you want to call it] to kiss someone so much to the point that you wrote a thread about it... so I'm just wondering, are you from another country or culture?

You just seem lost when it comes to intimacy...

I just think that if we knew more about your background we could better help you.

..just a thought

Quote:

Originally Posted by mudweiser

I want to ask...

Your in your 30's and your "afraid" [nervous whatever you want to call it] to kiss someone so much to the point that you wrote a thread about it... so I'm just wondering, are you from another country or culture?

You just seem lost when it comes to intimacy...

I just think that if we knew more about your background we could better help you.

..just a thought

I think being shy isn't a wrong thing, people have different experiences and walked different path than you. You are getting all judgmental when he could do the same for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by paxe

I think being shy isn't a wrong thing, people have different experiences and walked different path than you. You are getting all judgmental when he could do the same for you.

Nope no judgement here.

If he came from say... a conservative Chinese culture or Arabic I don't think we could advise him to "jump on it"-- we'd have to consider where he comes from first. If he were abused as a child [just an example] which caused him to be this nervous then he could address to those issues.

I don't know about everyone else on this forum but, when I saw that he was 30 not 13 I was a little odded out. There is shy and then there is this...

My intention was not to offend, just an observation...

No I'm white and from NA, m 28 and she is 30

You need to kiss her. Don't tell her what you WANT to do, just do it. You will be surprised at her reaction, and wonder why you wasted so much time. I'm not talking about licking her throat, just a nice kiss to let her know that she is special to you. Then go from there.

If you're 28, you've got some catching up to do, but don't jump her like Ernest T. Bass.

What do you mean I have some catching up to do jmjoseph?

Talaniman Guide to kissing-
Nice guy way
"Can I kiss your buoooo-ti-ful lips???"

Good guy way,
Just lean in,
If she turns her head kiss her cheek
If she doesn't kiss her lips.
T man way
Steal a quick on, lock eyes, and get a really good one

This isn't rocket science.

I'll tell you why its so hard. Its so hard because it should have already have happened. Its hard because she has had her heart broken twice really hard. She is also 30 and this plays on any woman's mind. ITS HARD because she also decided she was going to be single and had given up on men. ITS HARD because she also believes that the next guy she is going to be the one that she is going to marry.

Its hard because she believes that I may be that person. Its hard because we both have so much love as an individual to give,

not mentioning we met randomly at a park where the two of us had realized that its going to be near impossible to find a partner who would get it how we see it, and all of a sudden have had 5 months go by where we have been with each other for a few hours at least everyday almost, and every weekend.

that's why its hard.

Its hard because you fear the obstacles, and have lost sight of the goals.

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Its hard because you fear the obstacles, and have lost sight of the goals.

Personally, I think he's making a mountain out of a molehill..

...just sayin'

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartTrips

I'll tell you why its so hard. Its so hard because it should have already have happened. Its hard because she has had her heart broken twice really hard. She is also 30 and this plays on any womans mind. ITS HARD because she also decided she was going to be single and had given up on men. ITS HARD because she also believes that the next guy she is going to be the one that she is going to marry.

Its hard because she believes that i may be that person. Its hard because we both have so much love as an individual to give,

not mentioning we met randomly at a park where the two of us had realized that its going to be near impossible to find a partner who would get it how we see it, and all of a sudden have had 5 months go by where we have been with each other for a few hours at least everyday almost, and every weekend.

thats why its hard.

We are still talking about a kiss, right?