You are very correct. And yes, I am the type of individual who likes to be enlightened.Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeistough75
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You are very correct. And yes, I am the type of individual who likes to be enlightened.Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeistough75
Wow. This just got ugly. She had her new boyfriend text me. He called me out on stuff. But imo, totally uncalled for and totally immature on her part. I definitely over this now.
Called you out on what stuff? Had you been contacting her? Maybe she didn't have him do it, maybe he is a creep and is marking his territory, regardless leave this alone.
This girl, who has been your girl since she was what 14 has grown up and wants to see what's out there. I think dating some one that young and for that long really keeps you from experiencing dating and hanging out and having fun. You get too wrapped up in one person and that is not healthy.
This may be the first of many dates for her, she is dating, see what's out there. You should be doing the same.
Leave it all alone and get out yourself.
Yes, I contacted her this morning when I found out, big mistake I know. Regardless, she was with him and he text me and called me out saying leave her alone, if you hadn't messed up maybe she would still like you, if you came around it'll get physical, watch what you say, etc etc. I will be leaving this alone from now on. I don't want any problems, and its not worth it arguing and fighting over a girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Well you need to stop contacting her. What she does is none of your business and you have no right. She is with someone else, has moved on.
Leave her alone. I know you are hurting but in time you will find that you too have changed and want to know what's out there.
Change your number and don't contact her again. It will save you headaches, believe me.
Trust me. There will be no more contact with her. She is not the same girl I knew a month ago. She changed so fast, and its sad. After 5 years I don't even recognize her anymore. I had a lot of good advice. I stuck with some of it, but I broke the NC rules. I kind of paid for it. But then again, I'm glad things turned out this way because it gives me the extra incentive to get over her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Newguy2009
Amazing how people change isn't it? Almost seems like it happens overnight. You will be fine IF you stick to NC. I had a couple of setbacks in my breakup (mostly because we own a house together) but I solved that and haven't had to talk to her for months now and each day gets better. I still think about the ex sometimes and you will too but you have to stay busy and learn to file those memories in a virtual box somewhere in the back of your mind.
Come here as much as you want. It helped me knowing I was not alone and neither are you! Cheers buddy! Enjoy being single. While you can.
Where do I start?
You need to let go of saying she shows no emotion. She was showing emotion wanting to hang out with you and spend time out as a couple. She was showing she wanted you by her side. You work full time, big deal. She was in college full time also. You don't think that's tiring? Work or work you still need to spend time together. You seemed to have gotten in the work and sit home cycle and she saw it and wanted to break it. I also seeing her showing emotion because she did think of the break off for a month. If this is true she was full of emotion struggling with her choices. I am sure she had feelings for you and didn't want to hurt you. I am sure it was hurting her inside also.
If she was acting all happy single then she was happy.
I think you both started dating young. You even said yourself you pushed your friends aside to be together. Maybe her going to college opened her eyes. She made friends and matured in a way that made her realize everything she did lose out on in high school. I can tell you right now if she had not split with you now it was bound to happen one day.
She is not a bad person for dating someone after telling you she wanted to be single. At this point its not your business what she does. She is living life. What if she is the one telling him what he wants to hear to get what she wants from him? Don't make him out to be a bad buy just because she chose to date him. That was her choice. If she wasn't ready she could have said no. For all you know he never knew about you when he asked her out. You can feel jealous all you want be this guy isn't the blame for anything. You need to realize that.
I wish you luck. Its hard. As someone said it is like a death. But you still have the chance to come alive again!
One more thought. I don't think she instantly changed. I think she matured and grew a bit. Dating a 14 year old girl is not like dating a 21 year old. Look back and I am sure you can see how you both have evolved.
If anything I say good for her for being strong enough to make the choice. She didn't stay put and have doubts the rest of her life and marry and have kids because she was to afraid to walk away. She grew and felt it was time. Not that there is better out there but that she knew what she needed.
Everyone is correct. Im sure she was trying, but I just had turned a blind eye because we both were doing the same old routines. It is very obvious how she matured. The part that still gets me is that only a month and a half ago SHE was pressuring me into buying a house. That's right, a house! I think that maybe she realized she was pushing this too quickly, and maybe she scaared herself. So she obviously changed very quickly, and that doesn't add up to me. And I figured that since we had been together for so long, the mature thing would have been to take the relationship farther. But like you said, being together so long made us both miss out and we both matured. The part that hurts is that she had been thinking about this for a month or longer, and kept all her emotion inside, and never came to me. It also hurts that she told me she didn't want a relationship with anybody, but she is in another one so soon, rebound or not. But, she was at a breaking point with everything, so she did the right thing. And I'm glad that she did it now, and got it over with. Ill be sticking to the NC rules, I have nothing else to say to her. Its actually getting easier already. Ive been thinking of all the things that bothered me with her, and that's helping to ease my mind also.Quote:
Originally Posted by 88sunflower
I think she cheated on you with him, before you broke up. She felt the grass was greener on the other side. She jumped, and now we know what will happen. The guy just wants sex and that's it. She will be crying to you in a few months. Just wait, if you want, but that's up to you. I think you could get some very good help on this site. I know it sounds bad, but read some about breakups and how the girls go back after a few months. This happens a lot in collage.
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/
Does anybody else think this is a possibility? I have a hard time believing this for a few reasons: she never acted funny, and she said that she met him after we broke up. But then again, I can't really believe anything she says. I know that the dude most likely wants sex, and I'm sure he will get what he wants and will leave after a few months. Even though the breakup was her decision, and she was at a breaking point, and everything else, does anybody else think that she will come back in a few months? Not that I will ever take her back now, does anybody else think she cheated and will come back?Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf359
Why do you need to know if she is coming back?
Its not that I am anticipating it or wanting her to come back, it was just a question based on what the previous poster said.Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeistough75
I don't think so. She may have met him and was attracted to him, there is nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. She broke up with you, that was the right thing for her to do, for her.Quote:
Originally Posted by rsa0905
I can understand her wanting out. She has been with you since she was 14. She is seeing there is another world out there and other people and she wants to experience it.
If this guy wants her just for sex (assuming she gives it to him) then she will have experienced something and learned from it. That's kind of what life is about. You live and learn.
Instead of looking for things to run her in the ground, you might want to drop all if this and get on with your life as well.
She has grown up and left you behind. That happens quite often with relationships that start with young teens.
If she cheated and if she is coming back to you doesn't really matter now. Pesonally I don't think she cheated. She is probably getting out more like you said and someone caught her interest. So be it. Stay with NC and stop wondering all the "what ifs". Thinking on all those are just going to run you down.
So I have some major news. Apparently my ex is pregnant now. Apparently she is 5 weeks along, and we were still together 5 weeks ago. She seems to think that the baby is her new bfs. Which if that is the case, she was cheating on me 5 weeks ago.
Here's my delimma. We had sex without condoms, and I never pulled out because she was on the pill. We did it like that for years. So is it possible that it could even be his that quickly? I mean, we were still having sex right up until we broke up. It's a 50/50 chance right now, and I'm going to venture to say she doesn't know exactly who the daddy is. If she quit taking the pill right after we broke up, could she have gotten pregnant that fast?
You don't need to quit taking the pill to get pregnant. You can get pregnant on the pill. Simple as that.
Yes you can be pregnant that fast because I was. I went off my pill the middle of October and was pregnant so after. Less then two months later.
It's not likely that she got pregnant what a day after she got of the pill?
I don't know, but people can sure make a mess of their lives.
Is she sure she is pregnant?
She made a mess of her life really fast, if she is pregnant. When I was moving my stuff out of the apartment I noticed a packet of her birth control, and it had been 4 or 5 days since she had last taken it. And that was 3 weeks ago. Im not 100% sure if she is sure she is pregnant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
If the child turns out to be mine, how would I go about making a relationship work with her?
Wait and see! You can't speculate on what she's going to do.
You are correct, but with the way she is acting I just feel like she wouldn't give the chance. But then again, it is a 50/50 on who's it could be at this point, if she is for sure pregnant. Apparently she is only about 5 weeks along. And we were still together 5 weeks ago. My parents told me to stay quiet and don't contact her, just to wait for her to contact me if she turns out to be pregnant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Very good advice from your parents.. Maybe they should join AMHD.Quote:
Originally Posted by rsa0905
Take the advice:)
Wow. I was seriously leaps and bounds over this, but this has set me back.
I don't think you were over it, but this is an added dimension that you will have to face if true.
Where did you hear this from?
I heard it from a friend. Doesn't sound too reliable I know, but I can believe it. Its going to be really hard to try and stay silent about this, because I obvioiusly need to know the truth. And along with this, I really think that she was cheating on me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
What kind of friend would tell you something like that.
It gets me when people don't keep their nose out of other's business and want to tell you something under the guise of friendship.
What else makes you think she was cheating?
I wouldn't put too much stock in hearsay. You'll know soon enough. Tell your friend to butt out.
Don't even worry about it unless she says its yours, to your face. Then its up to a blood test.
You don't make a big deal about gossip, rumors, or innuendo.
My friend works with her older sister. So he heard it from her. My friend also said that they think it's the new dudes. I say she was cheating because if its his, and she's 5 weeks along, that coincides with a time we were still together.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I know I shouldn't worry about it unless I know that its mine. But its still hard to hear that a girl that I loved, moved on, and is already pregnant. I know I've been replaced, but it seems to hurt so much more than that. Another part that hurts is that there's a chance that it could be mine and could be his.
So this is second third party gossip.
Your friend should have minded his own business and kept his mouth shut.
At any rate you won't know anything until or unless she says something to you.
If she is not and all of this was a misunderstanding, this is just one more thing to trip you up.
Tell your friends to keep their mouths shut.
That is not a friend. That is just tacky. I wonder how many other friends your friend has told this to.
Yeah. It is definitely a difficult situation because of all the uncertainty. I know I have to just stick to the NC rules and hope she contacts me with the truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
There may not be any truth to contact you with. She could not be pregnant at all and if she is, she could be 4 weeks, in which case, (I know it would hurt) her pregnancy would be none of your business.
You need to have a talk with your friend. Tell him you don't want to hear anything else.
Well he said that she was around 5 weeks along. And we were together at that point still. So I feel like it is some of my business because I am unsure who's child it really is, if she is even pregnant like you said.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
He also said she was pregnant. That could be wrong just like the number of weeks.
Of course what you could do is just tell her you have heard a rumor and you want to know if it is true. That may open a can of worms but you would know.
You friend really did you a this service.
Yeah. I think ill try and tough it out and see if I hear anything else. If I do, then maybe ill try to contact her about it. I may just wait and see if she contacts me, but like you said earlier, that may never happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
So in the meantime you worry? That's no good!
Unfortunately, I am somewhat worried about it. But I shouldn't be because there is no proof of anything 100%. It'll stay in the back of my mind, but ill work my way around it for now.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Hi , I am going through the exact thing that you are , I was with my girlfriend for 5 years , we were a really good couple , we fought hardly ever, even a week before she said , I need space we went to las vegas , stayed in a hotel snuggled and has sex and we watched movies and had a great time. A week later she said that she didn't want to be with me , but she's been thinking about leaving me for a while , I bagged and cried and freaked out asking why why why, all she said was that she needed space, I couldn't believe this ****, I asked her what did I do what did I do and she said nothing, I just need space, she blocked me on Facebook and started going out lots with her friends, we also have a child together I wrote her a 3 page note that I'm getting my mom to read to her because I'm so ****ing desperate, but I have been giving her her space, my mom just talks to her now, I really don't want to lose her, I know she's the one , I just want my family back and I want her back, **** why do girls have to be so ****ing retarded and say I NEED SPACE, LIKE **** WE WERE IN A FAMILY FOR 5 YEARS AND SHE LED ME ON JUST TO ****ING SAY I NEED SPACE, LIKE ****! I KNOW IM FREAKIN OUT ON HERE< BUT I WAS NEVER LIKE THIS AROUND HER, IM JUST SO LOST CONFUESED ANGRY AND SAD THAT SHE WOULD DO THIS, LIKE WHY WOULD U WANT TO PUT SOME ONE U LOVE THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN?
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