Thanks for the words TexasLonghorn.

In other news, break ups suck.

Don't they just but most are necessary.whilst mostly realising that my ex was as flawed as most of us I'm sitting here regretting the times when I could have been nicer myself.and there were quite a few of them.there s no magic pill we have to go through all these emotions regrets longing for then good times missing the people we were etc.I m trying to build a relationship with myself now wanting to find out which part of me needs to heal in order to find a healthy relationship.

Threads merged.


Ugh... It has now been 2 1/2 months since our break up. I have done NC and it truly is the best way to go. I have dated again... dates have been just OK but it's important to be back out there.

I have done pretty good... but just when I think I am totally over him I have a dream about him and it upsets me.

We still have not seen each other... if a dream upsets I am concerned that it may really upset me to actually see him.

Maybe I will just stop sleeping... lol

Do you want to share the dream?

The dream was just that I was at a party and so was he and we talked... then when he left he came over and said good bye. That was pretty much it. I remember it being weird when we said goodbye...

It happens. Were you together long? You can't just expel months and years of memories after 2½ months... just doesn't work like that. Recognize your fears/concerns and deal with them as they come. You'll pull through.

Your dream mirrors reality -you said goodbye.dont let it upset you.and don't give up on your beauty sleep. :-)

This will pass if you let it, and stay busy with other things. Maybe your dream is telling you not to get carried away, by a dream.

Great thoughts... thanks... we were together 9 months... it was pretty intense and the break-up for shocking as he was cheating... but I am sooo much better than I was.

No Contact is the key

I always think of dreams as cleansing your mind, while also unifying the mind, body and spirit. A dream in which you are saying goodbye to someone indicates an end to your worries, an end to a relationship, or an end to a chapter in your life. If they are saying goodbye to you, it suggests you are going on a journey of self-discovery, a new phase to your life. It sounds like you are having healthy dreams.

I'm at about the same stage as you - broken up after an intense, yet somewhat short, relationship. I'm having nightmares. I'll trade you. :)

It certainly is-it w o r k s! :-)

I was with a guy for 1 1/2 years and we have been broken up for 3 years now, I have been with my current boyfriend for a little over 2 years and I still have dreams about my ex, he cheated on me the whole time we were together too.

It's normal.

I hadn't seen my ex in about 6 years and I dreamt about him.

It was weird. Made me feel weird.

Anyway it's normal, no sweat.

Sarah

When I first started NC I would dream about my ex every single night... for seriously like 2 weeks. I was like this has got to stop. It does get better and they will stop. Start developing a crush on somebody else (just as a way to forget the ex -- don't even need to pursue or seriously be interested in the person) that's what helped me get her out of my mind. Just a thought! :) Stay strong, the longer you do NC the easier it gets.

Yes I ve dreamt of exes too.and they were no Brad Pitts.:-(

Threads merged.


Been broke up for nearly 3 months.

He cheated and was not respectful of me... I felt like I had to end it. I still miss him a bit.

We have done NC.

I am going to a fundraiser party next weekend and I am sure he will be there. How did you handle seeing the ex out for the first time?

When I stumble upon pictures of him I sometimes get emotional. I dread that moment when my heart is racing when I see him.

I do not want to talk to him. If we end up in close contact I will say Hey and keep on going.

Any other tips?

Stay with people close to you when you get emotional. They should be able to keep you away from him.

Just mingle with other people and try to meet new people. He won't be the only person in the room.

You ll be fine-minimum contact -if any at all necessary.he s in your past and you ve moved on and your life s back on track.good luck!

Hey - I used to run into my ex a lot and it was really awkward - after our last incredibly awkward meeting - I decided to do no contact - that was back at the beginning of August.

Well then I Found out he has a new girlfriend - through Facebook of course - and I knew I was going to see him at a friend's going away party. I thought he might bring the new girl - I was dreading going and seeing them together. I was going to just not go if he was there, but then I realized I'm there for a reason other than to avoid him - I'm going because I want to say good bye to my friend. So I decided to go no matter what.

It was a good idea, because about 30 of my friends were there to keep me distracted - I definitely HATED seeing him with someone else - but having my friends there for the first time was much better than just running into him at the store by myself.

Basically - the 2 of them walked in - passed me - I kept talking to my friends like I didn't care. About a half hour later we were basically standing next to each other so I was polite said hi - told him a funny story about one of our friends and then I said I had to get going - went and hung out with some other friends of ours.

Honestly it was hard to see him with someone else - but I made sure he didn't know that - to him I looked like I was having a great time - fun - joking around with friends - dancing with guys - he didn't know I was secretly getting my friends to keep me away so I wouldn't have to see him.

Just be calm - stay away from him - be polite if you run into him - and just don't make it a big deal. You have to get it over with eventually - either that or move to Alaska where you might not run into him. You can do it! Be strong :)

It also helps to be prepared. Imagine in your mind different scenes and how you can play them out so when you see him you aren't taken by surprise - you already have a plan in mind.

Threads merged

Well it finally happened. I ran into my ex-bf at a party. I was 95% sure he would be there so I was prepared.

I did everything the 'experts' say... I had a good time, looked good and it was a fun night. We said a quick hello and had no other contact. The party was big enough where we did not have to be in a close setting.

I was great all night but when I left for some reason I just started crying.

Details of the breakup;
--He cheated
--we have no contact for the 90 days since we broke up until last night.
--i admit I still miss that SOB...

I just broke down again... I truly thought he "was the one"...

I have done fairly well over the past 90 days... but today I feel worse than ever.

While he was with friends... it was still hard.

I am not sure what else to say. This site has been filled with such good information and has been so helpful during the past 3 months.

This morning I miss him really bad.

Aw, your emotions got stirred up, and crying is the right response,

>cyber hug<

It will be okay, just let it out, and keep going. Its okay to miss what you had, and then get up, and move forward. Got plans? Make some. Be good to yourself, as you did well for yourself.

Its Sunday, call mom.

Yes have a good old cry then get busy-and now you ve passed that hurdle! Here s a hug from me as well.:-)

No worries Tex. Don't fault yourself for having emotions and missing him. Personally I think you did a great job and am proud of you. Just a small bump in the road, that's all. No shame in crying. It was the first time you have seen or talked to him in 90 days so I can imagine it was hard and the emotions just rushed back together.

Enjoy your Sunday!

Well tonight I saw the ex boyfriend with his new boyfriend. Ugh I am totally numb right now.

We have been broken up four months.

I am totally numb... I guess this is my "ah ha' moment and time to move on.

Those are tough times, always best to try and "let it go" and move on

You can move forward as he has, don't say you can't.

Oh I agree I have to move forward. I wish I could say this does not hurt by my god it does.

The hurt s understandable-but you know that you re handling it -and at least now THAT situation s in the past.

It has been almost a year since me and my ex broke up.

I do think of him occasionally but do not want him back. I do know he is dating someone else. We have had no contact since the break-up. I have seen him at a bar maybe 3x in almost a year but we do not speak.

But it seems I have a dream about him once a week. I woke up this morning out of a dead sleep after dreaming of us swimming in a pool... ugh ugh ugh.

Anyway, it is just frustrating...

Frustrating yes, and normal also. I don't think there is any one that doesn't have past memories triggered at on time or another and believe it or not, at age 56, and married with grand kids, some of my past exes have haunted my dreams, many times.

Solution- Make coffee, and move about your day, as the feelings fade after a while, and you forget them. If you keep dwelling on them, you make them more than they should be, and start wondering all sorts of things looking for meanings.

Now that's frustrating.

I lost touch with my boyfriend when he moved to California and I didn't want to go with him. We never broke up and I went 7 years with dreams waking up crying because I would dream that I was running around the house and outside searching for him. They finally stopped when I talked to him a couple weeks ago when I actually got closure and knew he was okay so weird lol