Is this the same person:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-476186.html

If it isn't, please give background information on this person so you can receive accurate and appropriate advice.

Currently, your posts sound more like you want to fish for the advice you want rather than to get the advice you need. Or is this thread an attempt at discussing taking people back instead of asking for advice?

I suggest you make certain that you aren't projecting your feelings on to her. I also suggest that you think about why you appear to need to be in a relationship with someone at all times even if it isn't a healthy one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

. i don't want her back but she is the one for me so i want to give her the green light to come back. \.

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Are you sure you don't have a lot of female hormones because this is exactly what some women say about their ex b/fs.

Tick

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tickle

Are you sure you dont have a lot of female hormones because this is exactly what some women say about their ex b/fs.

tick

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Women learned the saying from me. By the way, is drama good in a relationship? I'm beginning to think that women need drama in their lives from time to time, so you should periodically start up some drama. Anyone else have anything to add?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

i don't want her back..... i want to spend the rest of my life with her.

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Hello K:

Dude! Do you know what schizophrenia is?

excon

Dude be yourself, if you're a drama queen so be it, they have to deal with it, or hit the road. If they are drama queens, you have to deal with it, or hit the road.

So your own thing not someone else's. What your talking about is playing games with peoples heads.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

women learned the saying from me. by the way, is drama good in a relationship? i'm begining to think that women need drama in their lives from time to time, so you should periodically start up some drama. anyone else have anything to add?

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Drama either signifies some obscure mental condition, or games (people play) to get attention. Women don't need drama if they are well adjusted and happy in their relationship and know their man, inside and out :D Did you ever see that horror movie built around the saying 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach'. I guess I don't have to explain the plot; now there was a woman who knew her man inside and out.

Tick

Me thinks, when I am still single and haven't been playing any games ever, its time to mix it up. Games couldn't hurt my chances any worse than what I am currently experiencing in the dating field.

Also, drama tells a woman how she truly feels about a man. No drama, feelings go unknown. You don't know how good you have it until it is gone. Dating is like deal or no deal. You don't know what's in the case until you pick out some other cases.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

also, drama tells a woman how she truly feels about a man. no drama, feelings go unknown.

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Who gave you that mis-information?

The mature women I know do not need drama to know they love the person they are with. The mature men I know don't need drama to know they love the person they are with. Neither group needs drama to know they are loved in return.

Drama, in the sense of game playing and creating problems out of nothing, does not belong in a healthy relationship. Life provides enough issues for a couple to work through without the individuals acting like bored three year olds who don't have any communication skills. Moving, raising children, changing jobs, school, deaths of friends and family, health scares, health problems, etc. are enough to test any relationship.

You know how someone feels because you communicate with the person. You say the words. You show love through signs of affection such as caresses and hand holding. You listen when the other person says the words. You understand that a touch can speak volumes.

You don't create drama just to get a reaction. Those who do haven't matured emotionally.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

Who gave you that mis-information?

The mature women I know do not need drama to know they love the person they are with. The mature men I know don't need drama to know they love the person they are with. Neither group needs drama to know they are loved in return.

Drama, in the sense of game playing and creating problems out of nothing, does not belong in a healthy relationship. Life provides enough issues for a couple to work through without the individuals acting like bored three year olds who don't have any communication skills. Moving, raising children, changing jobs, school, deaths of friends and family, health scares, health problems, etc. are enough to test any relationship.

You know how someone feels because you communicate with the person. You say the words. You show love through signs of affection such as caresses and hand holding. You listen when the other person says the words. You understand that a touch can speak volumes.

You don't create drama just to get a reaction. Those who do haven't matured emotionally.

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Tru's guide to dating says that women are used to drama, so if you're not the one creating it, she will. It is better to create the drama than to allow her to create the drama. Every relationship needs drama. A relationship without drama is a relationship involving a beta male that settled.

Not my opinion, just what it says in tru's meditational tapes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

tru's guide to dating says that women are used to drama, so if youre not the one creating it, she will. it is better to create the drama than to allow her to create the drama. every relationship needs drama. a relationship without drama is a relationship involving a beta male that settled.

not my opinion, just what it says in tru's meditational tapes.

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You are a very interesting male, my friend. Meditational tapes, well, if that is what keeps you going and you enjoy it, then just go about colouring your thinking. It is my feeling that you don't really have any really true feelings about your relationship. There is a name for it, maybe tal can pinpoint, it. Otherwise give me a moment. I will come up with something that will blow your mind away.

I hate drama, I play it pretty close.

Tal... rescue me... that is the name of a song title... I love potatoes with sour cream..

Tick

Please review these rules for using the agree/disagree feature.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum-...nes-24951.html

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

tru's guide to dating says that women are used to drama, so if you're not the one creating it, she will. it is better to create the drama than to allow her to create the drama. every relationship needs drama. a relationship without drama is a relationship involving a beta male that settled.

not my opinion, just what it says in true meditation tapes.

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How old are you?
All women do not like drama nor do they create it. Relationships do not need drama for the sake of drama. A relationship without drama is one that involves mature well adjusted people.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

if you show a woman too much attention and she breaks up with you because she loses interest, after NC can/how do you win her back?

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If she breaks up with you, she does not want to be with you. That is her choice and decision not yours.
NC is time for you to heal, not for her to decide if she wants you back.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

it's kind of like not being able to choose your parents. i don't want her back but she is the one for me so i want to give her the green light to come back. i'm not leading her on because i want to spend the rest of my life with her.

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Sounds to me like you are the one that craves drama. This makes no sense. You don't want her but she is for you, you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Are you drinking or smoking something?

I'm old enough to know what love means.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

If she breaks up with you, she does not want to be with you. That is her choice and decision not yours.
NC is time for you to heal, not for her to decide if she wants you back.

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Yeah. Looking back I wish I knew that. Everyone was saying go nc when I probably could have fired up the grille if I called her within 48 hours of breaking up. Nc leads to 0% chance of relationship working, while talking through the breakup might have actually worked. Hindsight is everything. At least we are still Facebook friends.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

i'm old enough to know what love means.

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Please give me your definition.

How old are you? What you are describing is not love. This is dysfunction, some kind of weird dependency.
Your ideas about women drama and love speak teenager to me. That or very confused adult.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

hindsight is everything. at least we are still facebook friends.

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Hindsight is 20/20 meaning you can't really count on it. It is a saying really.

Kyle, just do the best you can with your s/o. You have some good points, some misdirected. Overall I think you have the right idea and if you love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her, then go for it; get down on your knees, give her a ring and you will find she turns instantly into the gibbering woman you want her to be. I applaud your spunk.

Ms tick

According to another thread, he is 28 years old and she is 24.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

right now, i'm not interested in her, but i can't say that i wouldnt be interested in her in the future. i should mention that i was 26, she was 22 at the time (now 28 and 24).

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cat1864

According to another thread, he is 28 years old and she is 24.

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Thatg is a pretty good time spread. Should be a good match.

Looking back on your other thread, you seem like a control freak and she could not deal with it.
It seems to me that you don't want her back but you want someone.
Have you dated other women since she broke up with you two years ago?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Looking back on your other thread, you seem like a control freak and she could not deal with it.
It seems to me that you don't want her back but you want someone.
Have you dated other women since she broke up with you two years ago?

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I haven't gone back and read through my previous threads but I am referencing three different relationships so its not quite how you see it.

I'm referring to the person you asked about June 3 of this year.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-476186.html
If this is a different person, I think you need to stay away from realtionships until you can get yourself together.
Your emotions are all over the place and you seem to have very little respect for women.
Are these all the same women?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

I think you need to stay away from realtionships until you can get yourself together.
Your emotions are all over the place and you seem to have very little respect for women.

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I appreciate the feedback. Some of you are being mean while others are being helpful. The reason I am posting is because I am currently dating someone... you could call it a relationship and I am looking for advice to avoid repeats of the past.

I'm not sure how to take homegirls advice. I can't just stay away from a relationship that I am in. am I supposed to tell her I shouldn't be in a relationship because homegirl said so on an internet message board? Here's a cucumber for your mouth on your way out the door?

You asked for advice. You have posted 3 different threads having problems in all of them.
Are they the same girl or different ones?
If they re different then yes you need to find out what you have done wrong with these other 3 before you get into another. If they are the same girl, you still need to get yourself together before she comes back. You guys are having the same problem because the problem has not been solved.
But you can do as you please.
You might want to try growing up though. Your last comment was not only disrespectful it was unnecessary.
Go back and read all three of the threads you have posted, then you can see why I suggested you not date anyone until you get a better handle on yourself.

im not sure how to take homegirls advice. i can't just stay away from a relationship that i am in. am i supposed to tell her i shouldnt be in a relationship because homegirl said so on an internet message board? heres a cucumber for your mouth on your way out the door?[/QUOTE]

Remarks like the above just reinforce opinions of you not respecting women, all homegirl was doing was giving an opinion, you need to give us the facts, and with your apparent lack of fluency is it any wonder, with 3 threads is it on the go or were on the go, which girl is it you are asking for advice about.

am i supposed to tell her i shouldnt be in a relationship because homegirl said so on an internet message board?

Maybe not but perhaps you could tell her your getting advice so as to not repeat past mistakes, and your follow on comments directed at homegirl were totally uncalled for. You asked for help/advice if you don't agree with what's offered you can ignore it, being rude to a person offering that advice is unnecessary.
It also does make you appear to be disrespectful to females..

Sorry for the disrespect. tickle was responding sarcastically which turned this thread south. (1) the relationship from 2 years ago is dunzo. (2) the virgin was a rebound and is dunzo. (3) there was a woman that I dated off and on before the virgin that I was too interested in that still peaks my interest which is where this thread originated. (4) the other questions in this thread relate to other women from the past and present.

The meditation tapes have reprogrammed my thinking towards relationships and women. Tru teaches the "inner prom king" that women have secretly always wanted to find. The "i don't want her back, she wants me back, i just want to give her the green light" comment is because tru teaches that she wants me back, not that I want her back or at least the importance of talking this way.

Tru also talks about how women want a man not a guy. Men hunt, sweat, and talk dirty. Talking offensively is what draws women to bad boys and rock stars. My last comment in my previous post is what draws them towards me. Women appreciate men that can speak their mind without a censor.

Be honest with yourself. I think it is safe to say that women want a bad boy that they can turn good.

Apology accepted.
Women do not like vulgar and offensive men. Any woman who wants a disrespectful man does not respect herself.
If you are a nice guy, be a nice guy. Don't act like an azz-hole to attract a woman because you will find you are not attracting the kind of woman you really want. Nice guys attract nice women.

I don't know who this "tru" is but I disagree with his philosophy on women.

Women do not in my experience of being one for a few years now and also having girl friends throughout my life, want a man to be as you've described above.

They may tolerate it for a time but wouldn't want to take up with someone like that for the long term.

Women and men alike like to be shown respect, affection, thoughtfulness, compassion, consideration, and love.

Yes some of us may like talking dirty in the right place at the right time, ( the bedroom and in privacy of same) but I doubt very much many would like their man to talk offensively, that's usually reserved for when men get together with other men.

Ive been an advocate for positive thinking and striving to become the best me I can be for myself, and my family for many many years, and I would not be in agreement with your comment about women wanting a bad boy to turn good, women may want to experience some time with a bad boy, or some do, but anyone who wants to change another from being their true selves wouldn't want to make changes to their partners, and love and respect will always have the edge on being a bad boy. In my opinion

Women also respect an authentic man, one who has integrity.

Somewhat slightly different opinions to your "tru", I feel..
From a woman at that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

sorry for the disrespect. tickle was responding sarcastically which turned this thread south.

.

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Hi Kyle. I have been scrolling back trying to find the post where you thought I was sarcastic. I apologize if you think I was, certainly didn't mean to appear that way.

Tick

To Op, the following was put together after a room full of women and young ladies were asked what they thought made up a great partner, each line is one of the women's thoughts..

What Makes A Great Partner

Attributes that make a Great Partner
Someone who knows what you need before you say it.
Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.
Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.
Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.
Someone who is caring .
Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.
Someone who is honest.
Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend
But most of all, love as the great lover they are.
Someone who is open and responsive.
Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
Someone who understands listening is a key,
But using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who's there for you no matter what.
Someone who is trustful.
Someone who is a friend.
Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
Someone with a great sense of humor.
Someone who has things in common with you.
Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are
Doesn't try not to make you something else.
Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind
To accept and love people for who the really are.
Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument
And love you for everything that you are.
Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.
Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself,
But admire greatly in them.
Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.
Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.
Someone who understands PMS, is a real problem.
Someone who can make you happy when your sad.
Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who will not hurt you intentionally.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
Someone that you can laugh with.
Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.
Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover!
Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.
Someone who will respect you.
Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.
Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.
Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration.

I think our young friend will be okay once he discovers who he is, and what he wants, and figures out the best way to get it.

We all go through these experiences in our journey through life, and have to deal with reality, and not fiction.

New question. I am realizing that I am currently dating a woman as a rebound. I am now over my past relationship so what do I say to the new relationship?

Do I say that we don't have anything in common or be honest and say that I am over my ex now so I am ready to handle singlehood? We've been on seven dates together.

Is it socially acceptable to be in a relationship as a rebound?
She must understand that rebounds are necessary. Dating frequently with different women doesn't help rebound from a relationship. You need to date someone to develop enough emotion/enthusiasm for them to be move on from your ex.

What are your thoughts on rebound relationships?

You should have started a new question, and not added on to one that is already dealt with.

Tick

Seeing as you are back. You didn't address my question in post #43, whereby in post #40 you accused me of being sarcastic. Seeing as I apologized, if I was. I ask again, in which post do I appear to be sarcastic. Sorry, but it bothers me that I may have appeared that way.

Tick

Quote:

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Originally Posted by positiveparent

To Op, the following was put together after a room full of women and young ladies were asked what they thought made up a great partner, each line is one of the womens thoughts..

What Makes A Great Partner

Attributes that make a Great Partner
Someone who knows what you need before you say it.
Someone who knows when to laugh and when to cry.
Someone who truly listens when you have something to say.
Someone that's there for you during the good and bad times.
Someone who is caring .
Someone who loves you with all their heart and soul.
Someone who is honest.
Someone you can trust them like a sibling, confide in like a friend
but most of all, love as the great lover they are.
Someone who is open and responsive.
Someone who is never critical and ill-tempered in respect to your needs.
Someone who knows when things have to be compromised in the relationship.
Someone who understands listening is a key,
but using what is heard is even more important.
Someone who's there for you no matter what.
Someone who is trustful.
Someone who is a friend.
Someone who gives a shoulder to cry on.
Someone with a great sense of humor.
Someone who has things in common with you.
Someone who takes time to listen and enjoy you for who you are
Doesnt try not to make you something else.
Someone with a constant open ear, open heart, and open mind
to accept and love people for who the really are.
Someone who will always be there to support your ideas without argument
and love you for everything that you are.
Someone that can get a point across without yelling.
Someone that remembers all the cute stupid stuff you love.
Someone that has a personality with qualities you don't have yourself,
but admire greatly in them.
Someone who realizes you're two separate people, and appreciates the differences.
Someone who can sense a mood problem, and not take it personally.
Someone who understands PMS, is a real problem.
Someone who can make you happy when your sad.
Someone who tells you the truth even if you don't want to hear it.
Someone who will not hurt you intentionally.
Someone who is a sweet, romantic person who cherishes you no matter what.
Someone that you can laugh with.
Someone who you can feel comfortable with and that you don't care what kind of weird stuff they see you do because you know they will still love you no matter what.
Someone who will love you in spite of your little idiosyncrasies.
Someone that would do anything to show how much they care.
Someone who is a great pal, a great kisser, and a great lover!
Someone who allows you to be yourself around them.
Someone who will respect you.
Someone who cherishes your hopes and is kind to your dreams.
Someone who knows you're not perfect, but treats you as though you are.
Someone who listens with their heart and is your source of inspiration.

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This is the problem. The list for mr. right is too big! Women want too much. The list needs to have 2, maybe 3 wants. If the list said I want someone who is confident, good looking, and established, then we would know what to aim for. You put together a list of 40 items and a guy doesn't know where to begin! If I put together a list of 40 qualities and women put together a list of 40 qualities what are the odds that I will find the woman that has those 40 qualities and I will have the 40 qualities on her list? I say, narrow it down to 2 qualities and then maybe we will find each other.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tickle

Overall I think you have the right idea and if you love this woman and want to spend the rest of your life with her, then go for it; get down on your knees, give her a ring and you will find she turns instantly into the gibbering woman you want her to be.

ms tick

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I took this as my ideas were crazy so I might as well get down on a knee and give her a ring.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by KyleS28

she must understand that rebounds are neccessary. dating frequently with different women doesnt help rebound from a relationship. you need to date someone to develop enough emotion/enthusiasm for them to be move on from your ex.
what are your thoughts on rebound relationships?

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HARSHNESS ALERT!

My thoughts and opinions on rebounds:

Rebound relationships are NOT necessary.

What you are describing is using someone like you would a tool that has no emotions. That is NOT socially acceptable. Acknowledging that you are using her and that she should 'understand' is almost like saying, 'I don't care that you have feelings mine are more important.'

Rebounds happen because the person doesn't take time to heal from the last relationship. He takes all of the baggage from the past and shoves it onto the next person expecting them to carry it for him.

Rebounds happen because the person has lost any respect for himself and other people that he might have had so, therefore, he can rationalize using another person for his own ends.

Getting out of a 'rebound' relationship thinking you are healed and jumping into another one just continues the cycle.

If you are dating a woman on the rebound does she know that's what you're doing?
That is the key.
Are you sure you're over the other woman, it hasn't been that long.
As long as the lady knows you are coming off a relationship and you're just dating around, you're being honest with her.
But you need to be honest with yourself. You don't use one person to get over another.