Look either you trust your boyfriend or you don't.

No trust=No relationship. End of.

He goes out and you text him as a joke saying you saw him, eh why? If I was going out with someone who is, by your own admission, incredibly needy and then as I'm out with my friends they text me saying they can see me, I would, in all honesty, think they were a massive weirdo.

That may seem a little harsh, but it is really as I would see it.

If you think there is something up with your boyfriend, you ask him about it. You don't concoct possible reasons for this in your head and go off the head at a friend on Facebook who may or may not be flirting with your boyfriend. You trust him, he says he wants to be with you by this actions, of being with you! That's it. If you want to know more you ask HIM.

I would strongly suggest you go to a counselor about not only your depression but also your abandonment issues. Take yourself out of your comfort zone. Meet new people. Start a new hobby. Get yourself worth back. No one can love you enough for two people, him AND YOU.

I am not saying any of this to hurt you, I just think you need a bit of a reality check.

Threads merged

I feel that my boyfriend is a major flirt, you would only need to look at his fb and understand what I'm on about! Girls everywhere on his wall, but there is one girl I proper hate, because he told me that him and her got close before, so it makes me uncomfortable when she sends him flirty messages she is obsessed with him because you can tell! Thing is he is writing back to her and it works me all up, I've tried telling him how it makes me feel but he gets all grumpy with me.
But at the moment I am mad about what happened Friday night we were at a party and they were some little tart flirting with everyone and she stuck her arse out in front of my fella and he went and slapped it, the look on his face and him laughing hurt me, so I got really upset and started crying and he was telling everyone he didn't know what was up with me the cheek of it! So when I confronted him he made out it was just a joke but other week I got dared to smack this lads arse but I said no! I see it as it's wrong to do that when you're with someone, after I ended up having to say sorry to him and finding him because he buggered off with his mate not giving a dam he said he went off to get away from me because I peed him off but all I did was tell him how it made me feel, I would have gone home but my things was at his so I had to look like the soft one! Not just that I am just too good hearted!
Today that girl who writes to him on fb got her sis to write him a flirty message and got her to mention her so she commented on her wall post and said tut tut what would your girlfriend say if she finds out you have been chatting me up proper taking the pee out of me! When ever I confront him he either tries to changed the subject or says he doesn't use fb because it's crap but he writes back to her...
All I want is your opinions is he messing me around? Because I don't want another guy thinking he can walk all over me and get away with it? I'm just wondering if he is worth fighting for I love him so much though!

If you can't handle his behavior, leave. Love or no, If it hurts to be with him, is he worth it? Doesn't sound like love to me. More like dependence.

Threads merged


I've been with my boyfriend for nearly five months now, for the 1st two to three months we got on like an house on fire, I was so happy with him and I recently just come out of depression before we got together. After like the three month mark, we started having a lot of problems, but I don't know what I've been doing wrong, it sometimes feels like he is picking on me for no reason just to make arguments, I've fallen back into depression and I've realized that it's him that's making me this way I am really unhappy! When we get on this is when I feel happy and I start to fall even more for him so every time he has a go at me I cry, I feel pathetic and worthless! Also when we first got together he told me he didn't mind me texting him but now he does all of a sudden and he has ago at me for that! He never wants to spend the weekends with me it's always with his mates, the only time he sees me is on weekdays after work which isn't much because he does a 12:00-8:00Pm shift! 3 times a week. Before he used to complain about hardly seeing me but I don't get that because every bit of spare time we both got he doesn't use it to see me! The weekend just gone we went out but I wasn't meant to have come out but his mate got me to but during the night my boyfriend ended up having a proper go at me for no reason so I walked off but he ran after me and was hugging me and saying sorry so I forgave him, then when we went to the takeaway he started again and called me a slag and this really hurt me and his sister told him, that she didn't like that and asked if he meant it, and he said yes so I walked off again crying and he come after me again and got me to come back to his and he was holding me close and were telling me how much I meant to him telling me he needed me and would die if he lost me! So I don't get what's going on, since that night we have got on until now! Where he's told me that I am trying to control him because he's going to his mates house on sat, all I said was do you want to meet after and he told me I'm constantly in his face and smoothering him, he is making me well down I don't know what to do please help it's knocking me down :( I want to be with him but how do I get him to stop all this crap?

This is more of the same-I'm referring to your previous thread,and in my opinion its time to give up on this relationship.

You'd be better off single and happy than being in a relationship which constantly makes you question yourself.

First off you need to realize that men who actually love women treat them well and try to build up their self-esteem, they don’t tear it down like your boyfriend is doing.

In my opinion, your boyfriend is controlling and is verbally abusive. Verbally abusive men will eventually make you feel as if you are worthless and you will suffer both psychologically and emotionally. You are right when you said his behavior makes you depressed. Just remember - It will only get worse, unless you take control of your life.

You need to understand that no matter how much you love and care for him, the best thing you can do for yourself, is to get out of this relationship. He won’t make it easy for you. He will probably keep tying to make you go back to him, but you need to stand firm and leave the relationship. Tell yourself that you can get through it. Do things that you enjoy doing and keep yourself as busy as possible to stop thinking about him.

You should leave him alone, and work on yourself esteem, and dignity, so you won't be so depressed, and subject yourself to his bad behavior.

Threads merged yet again, shheeez!
Me and my boyfriend ended over the most pathetic little argument ever! It were over me getting jealous of this girl writing on his Facebook wall writing the most ridiculous crap I've ever seen, I was mad at him for letting her, she had been doing this the full 5 months of going out and it were getting out of hand, I were getting upset with him even writing back to her, because he doesn't even write a lot on my page! She actually was doing it to wined me up and I knew it because she said stuff like text me after work babe this made me rage because obviously he didn't see that but other people did, and the idiot went and told her it were getting to me so she started giving me crap, so I told him about it expecting him to stop it, did he heck! So we ended up having a big argument and splitting. But yet he still kept in contact with her, oh how much I hate that girl!
At first when we split he made it clear that he didn't want to get back with me so I told him goodbye and told him not to text back because I were going to delete all contact from him, I did it because I knew it would be easier to get over him, then he started texting me on his brake at work telling me his head were messed up and he were upset but it come up in a number instead of his name, so we both agreed that we would sort it, and I saved his number, he waited to have a lads night before he got back with me, this bothered me a little because I found it odd I had the feeling he were going to end up with another girl, I felt sick thinking about it and my mate was like I flirt with him you on't mind do you and I was getting so upset so I told him and he kept texting asking if I were okay. He got back with me the next day and he seemed happy about it. But now he seems a bit off with me he told me it felt strange and that his head were still messed up, he hasn't even bothered to tell anyone that were back together this is hurting me! I don't know what to do! He tells me that I'm his jess still and that he loves me but he isn't the person he were before, will he have to get used to being back with me or something he did say he wasn't used to this sort of thing because he hasn't had many girlfriends in his life, I just really hope it works out, must admit I feel a bit weird about getting back but I know it will start to improve because I've been through it loads and I told him this so he said we will try. I just need advice because I keep thinking that he doesn't really want to be with me and it's playing on my mind so much, I'm seeing him tonight though but I am really nervous, but maybe we will feel fine after seeing each other for the 1st time since splitting! Thanks for you time :)

First things first, for how long were you two separated?
Second; does he still have contact with that other person after he got back with you?

Were deleting Facebook and about 4 or 5 days

Assuming that you're still young, then arguing over a such thing is very normal these days. I've seen it a lot, and experienced it a lot. If you have such faith in that it will improve, then stick to it. Give it time and don't rush anything too soon. Time is a very powerful thing as people say.

And if things aren't working out as you expected it would, leaving in the only choice.

Maybe you are hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. Sort of a defense mechanism in case things don't work out.

The problem with resuming a relationship with problems is, if the problems are not addressed, the foundation of the relationship will just keep on crumbling.

Your jealousy and insecurity of this other girl, even when you knew she was winding you up, caused you to split with him. That is not a sign of maturity. Talking it out is, and I mean talking, not arguing. If something like that can end your relationship, what makes you think it won't happen again.

That's what I mean about working the problems out before jumping back in. If he has given you reason to doubt his commitment, talk about it. If he is unsure what he wants and why, talk about it. Communication, as hard and difficult as that might be, is the only way to understand eachothers needs and wants.

After you both learn how to talk to each other about issues serious enough that have ended the relationship once already, you may find common ground, and common goals to work on together. It is the only way the relationship will work.

Be realistic, and don't expect things to magically be better, without working out the issues of the past. Only then will you have an idea if the relationship is worth saving.

We had a heart to heart last night and he admitted a few things, and told me he were being an idiot with me, but also said we both did things wrong which is normal, he even called me gorgeous and said he should make me feel special every now and then! He also told me this girl sent him a marriage request and he asked her why she did it, so she replied by saying to wined everyone up and he told her to do one, he also said he let her know we were sorting it, and I asked why he told her and he said because I wanted her to know, I've been thinking about it, you're not to blame she is, I've thought about your point of view while we have been split. And he told me he wanted to make it work this time, were deleting Facebook and ignoring what anyone has to try and stir up so I feel happy for the first time in ages, so thanks guys for all the support, fingers crossed that mine and his relationship works! :)

Keep talking, honest communication is essential.

Good luck.

I'm probably going to sound quite clingy on this post, but what I'm doing I can't stop!
My boyfriend likes to go out with the lads, but whenever he does I get offended that he doesn't want me to come along and I get really mad and upset because I'm quite lonely when I'm not with him as most of my friends are pregnant or have kids so I don't have much choice of what to get up to so I just stay in on the laptop and this is really depressing me not to mention I have depression anyway, I really want to do something about this! But another thing that won't go away from my mind is that he's going away for a week soon and this has upset me the worst because I think I will miss him well too much.
When I haven't seen him in a while I get moody and upset and grumpy with my family! I just feel like hiding away until he comes back, I keep thinking to myself why would he want to leave me for a week away, he obviously doesn't care or miss me like I do for him and it's hurting me a lot! I just want to overcome this because I know he has to have time with the lads for us to have a healthy relationship, I must admit I do get nervous about him cheating on me because of his past which he told me about but he promised that he would never go behind my back, but he is a good looking bloke and he always gets girls chatting him up when he goes out and it really upsets me because I fear that he gets too drunk and gets to the stage of not thinking what he's doing because he does get into a state when drunk. I also don't like the guy he is going with, I feel like he is a bad influence, because we went to a party and he slapped this girls arse and got my boyfriend to do it and I truly hated it, that was it that night I couldn't enjoy myself, I felt really sick and it made me wonder what he was like when I wasn't there!
I just need some advice and tips on getting my head sorted I know I have something wrong with me otherwise I wouldn't get so upset about my boyfriend going out, but I think it mainly has something to do with me not earning much income so I am unable to make plans and go out this is really doing my head in so will be great full for a bit of help thanks!

People who have read my posts probably think I'm off my head but I have a hell of a lot of crap on my mind.
A few week ago me and the boyfriend split this distraught me, but I decided to go out with my mate to get my mind off things but she was acting strange all night, she were texting someone and not letting me see, and she said to me "I flirt with Ste but do you mind?", I looked at her, I didn't know what to do or say, but truthfully I wanted to hurt her, who wouldn't though? I just say "no" but I found it hard for the rest of the night to keep my cool, she kept going off to ring him and wouldn't let me come she made it look so suspicious by looking at me and smirking at me. So I went off with my dad and he were like I don't like her she's a stirrer.
The next day me and the boyfriend got back, I told him about all of this and he didn't seem impressed and said that's no mate. About 3 days after of getting back my mate text me and asked why I hadn't been on Facebook for a while so I replied and told her it causes too much hassle and she text back with, Don't lie it's because Ste told you straight! this made me fume it's nothing to do with her the nosey cow! Anyway the weekend after getting back me and the boyfriend decided to go out to strengthen the relationship and guess who we bumped into yes her! And all night she were trying to drag me away from him and she whispered something to him and he stormed off so I obviously went after him and he told me what she said, she told him that he were ruining my night, but he really wasn't I were having a brilliant time. Later on in the night she insulted him by saying "bloody hell you need a bigger bra then me"! This made him upset, she were being a cow all night . The next day she text him telling him sorry and had the cheek to ask if he liked her dress the little slapper argh I hate her so much now. Also apparently a few week before we split she bumped into him in town and asked who were better looking out of me or her, I know what the hell? But he said me so I'm happy about that, please tell me what to do about this situation because it's driving me up the wall I just feel like killing her, I've had enough of people trying to ruin us I just want me and him to be free and away from hassle from others.

What you do is just ignore the shallow play for attention. If this is bothering you then you are just as immature as your friend.

Tick

Stay away from drama and this "friend" just ignore it. The more you let it bother you, the more she will do it.

You have a lot of self confidence and trust issues that YOU need to work on. It's like you want your boyfriend to stay with you 24/7 simply because you are home alone. You have to understand that to have a HEALTHY relationship, you have to have a life outside of the relationship. Who cares if girls chat him up, if he wants to cheat, he's going to, no matter what you try to do to avoid it.

By the way, being drunk isn't an excuse to cheat and doesn't make you any more or less likely to cheat. If you want to cheat, you will.

Until this gets merged with the other thread: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-450160.html

I read your merged thread. (Please, please, keep adding to it instead of starting new threads. Your story needs to be kept together so everyone knows what is going on.)

I am going to be honest with you and it will probably seem a bit harsh.

You need to learn how to communicate with your boyfriend to set boundaries you can both stay inside. If you cannot work on it together and that means BOTH of you paying attention to what the other one says AND making compromises, then you need to break up and find other people.

You seem so intent on making him your anti-depressant that you are losing sight of the fact that he is a human being. He is not your therapist to be on-call 24/7. He has a right to have his own friends of his choosing. He has a right to be himself, not what you want to turn him into.

Through out all that I have read of your posts, there has been one glaring fact, you are all about you and I wonder if you really stop to think about what he wants or needs in a relationship.

Even when you mention that he has said he needs room, you turn it around to you. You need him to keep you happy. You need him to stop doing this or that to make you happy. You need him to understand how much you need him to be there and do things your way. You expect him to behave like you want him to behave. You expect him to understand when you are joking around.

You need to take responsibility for your own mental health and emotional well-being. Have you even looked into seeing a doctor about your feeling depressed? Have you made one step toward getting actual help instead of self-medicating?

You both would be much happier if you made the step toward getting a doctor's help and counseling.

I merged your threads, please keep them all in one thread this way we get the whole back story

How do I do that? And yeah getting help off the doctor I keep getting sick notes and I got tablets, I tried to take them but they made me ill so I stopped, I am trying really hard, I just feel so lonely and feel like I have nobody to talk to, I just need more company in my life, my biggest fear is being on my own :(

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xshorty_jessx

how do i do that? and yeah getting help off the doctor i keep getting sick notes and i got tablets, i tried to take them but they made me ill so i stopped, i am trying really hard, i just feel so lonely and feel like i have nobody to talk to, i just need more company in my life, my biggest fear is being on my own :(

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If the medication isn't helping, you talk to your doctor and get it changed. You ask about support groups where you can talk to other people who have the same issues and you learn from each other you aren't alone in this.

You do a quick search and find these groups on your own:
Women Supporting Women
Depression Alliance in Lancashire - Beat Depression with Depression Groups in Clitheroe & Burnley, Lancashire

I am not sure 'company' is what you need. You seem to equate being alone with being lonely. Trust me, you can feel alone in the middle of a crowd if you aren't comfortable with yourself.

Do you have any hobbies or interests? You might look into community classes that cost very little but can give you a lot in return like new friendships and skills. In my 'city', they have everything from working with clay to weaving and music lessons at different times. They have also had meditation and yoga classes.

I think you have been stuck in a box for a long time. Can you come up with ways to think of things to do outside of it?

Threads merged

Right I have wrote so many posts about me and my boyfriend, I don't feel happy in our relationship anymore, but I don't know if it's my fault or his really, but as you may know I am suffering from depression, I'm actually starting to feel like I'm better off dead, I'm having suicidal thoughts at least 5 times a day, my boyfriend is making me so miserable!
He knows that I don't have the money to go out with friends and that I like to spend time with him, but he tries to go out every sat without thinking about doing anything with me, but the thing is I hardly see him it's like I'm there for him after work, I see him on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday nights, and I don't feel like this is enough! All I do on days I'm not with him is sit there moping and typing on my laptop I feel like throwing it out of the window!!
When I try to make plans with him he always has to make sure that his mates don't ask if he's doing anything, thing is he has to get drunk every bleeding weekend and it's driving me insane. I feel like he is being selfish towards me because he doesn't even think of my depression all he thinks of is himself he's never there for me but when I expect him to be there he goes mad at me and this makes me worse as I'm going through a stage of weakness anything horrible that goes on it makes me cry and get so upset and worked up.
This week he has been treating me like pure crap it's unreal, I text him about me looking for a job and getting mad because I don't seem to be getting anywhere but because I'm on the sick at the job I'm in now and been having time off college he has a dig about that by stressing at me saying it's all my fault I hardly get any money but he really doesn't understand my illness he says it's lazyiness and he gets so mad about it because he's in a full time job and has to pay tax, but I need a new job anyway because I do 5 hours every Sunday I did do 6:00 till 11:00pm when I were going out with my ex because I stopped at his after, but when we broke up they changed me 5:30-10:30pm so I could get the last bus, but because I have had time off they have put me back doing until 11 which means I have to fork out paying 8 pound for a taxi, I've worked all this out and I will only be getting 62 pound a month it's pointless, but he doesn't get why the doctor has gave me time off he doesn't notice how down I am lately I physically can't think straight at all I'm sick of constantly crying! I hate being a weak person because people think that they can walk over me. I just don't know what to do anymore I'm so depressed and hurting, I do have thoughts of ending things with him but my stupid little heart says no then I think about the good points of being with him but as the days get on he is changing and I don't even know who he is anymore, I feel like he has something on his mind which he is taking it out on me but this isn't right, I also feel like he is picking on me because when I go on about no money he tells me to go on job seekers but he is really mocking me, he's making me feel like a worthless piece of crap and a failure to do anything please someone help me? I punched the wall earlier when he told me he were going out next weekend as well as this weekend and I've really hurt myself I know it's self inflicted but I just don't think anymore I just feel like I have to hurt myself instead of hurting anyone else :( I hate being like this I just feel like I'm coming towards the end of my life, I were feeling better last week but this week as ruined me completely I'm tired of trying to get myself better when all I get is abuse of people who I expect not to get it off! I've found it very hard to express myself on this post but I do hope you understand it and sorry for those who told me to add it to a thread I don't know how to!

Fair warning: Please stop creating new threads. Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

Hey people, it's been a while since I've had a problem, in fact me and my man have been getting on really well lately but we have now got a problem I used to go to his twice a week and the weekend but he goes out a lot of the Saturdays, his mum made a decision for me to only stop on weekends this really disappointed me and him so he told me he would sort something out but I stopped on Sunday as it were bank Monday and when it came to going home his mum allowed me to stop on that Monday as well and told us it didn't matter anymore and that she were just in a state last week, but now my boyfriend is telling me I can only see him once a week and on weekends which him and his mum both agreed and apparently she said seeing a girlfriend at his ages twice a week is more then enough this still isn't enough to me I just don't understand what's going on, so what do I do please someone help me cause I feel like our relationship will die with hardly seeing each other, thing is he is nearly 25 and paying board so this is a pee take in my eyes, he should get to do what ever he wants, I feel like he may be lying about it but I don't know I thought that when he told me I could only come on weekends but his mum defiantly said this as she told us that Monday, thing is I will miss him too much and I hate it! Could I not try speak to his mum about it, thing is he won't come to mine to see me which is frustrating he says it's too much money for travel, but it's okay for me to pay to come to see him I'm really confused please help!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by xshorty_jessx

hey people, it's been a while since I've had a problem, in fact me and my man have been getting on really well lately but we have now got a problem i used to go to his twice a week and the weekend but he goes out a lot of the Saturdays, his mum made a decision for me to only stop on weekends this really disappointed me and him so he told me he would sort something out but i stopped on Sunday as it were bank Monday and when it came to going home his mum allowed me to stop on that Monday as well and told us it didn't matter anymore and that she were just in a state last week, but now my boyfriend is telling me i can only see him once a week and on weekends which him and his mum both agreed and apparently she said seeing a gf at his ages twice a week is more then enough this still isn't enough to me i just don't understand what's going on, so what do i do please someone help me cause i feel like our relationship will die with hardly seeing each other, thing is he is nearly 25 and paying board so this is a pee take in my eyes, he should get to do what ever he wants, i feel like he may be lying about it but i don't know i thought that when he told me i could only come on weekends but his mum defiantly said this as she told us that Monday, thing is i will miss him too much and i hate it! could i not try speak to his mum about it, thing is he won't come to mine to see me which is frustrating he says it's too much money for travel, but it's okay for me to pay to come to see him i'm really confused please help!!

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As of April 23, 2010, you were having problems with him. That was less than two weeks ago.

I don't know what his rental agreement with his mother is. That is between them.

With your past history of being overly dependent on him, he may well be using this as an excuse to distance himself in the relationship.

That you are spending your money to go see him and he spends all of his on social gatherings says that there is a huge dichotomy in the importance of the relationship between the two of you. What happens if you don't go visit him?

It may be time to actually look at the relationship and see if he is in it for anything more than the bed buddy who comes to him.

Another thread merged with the others


I'm in such a big mess at the moment, recently me and my boyfriend have been going through such a hard time it's killing me, but despite all this the only person who's been there to listen to me and talk to is my boyfriends best friend of 20 years as he doesn't give me any grief like everyone else does, my boyfriend often plays victim and I'm made to be the bad one but his mate has really helped me out by telling him he's wrong and I've felt myself being attracted and close to him as he's caring and understanding, thing is he likes me to because we have discussed it because we both decided to be honest about things, he has made compliments that has boosted my confidence up, which my boyfriend never does, he's been there to listen to me when I have a problem unlike my boyfriend all sorts that my boyfriend should do but doesn't seem to. This guy also has a girlfriend who's also a very good friend to me and I don't want her to know what me and her boyfriend have been discussing I wouldn't want to hurt her but I can't help these feelings I have for her fella and he can't with me were both very confused and I need some advice big time cause I can't stop talking to him or seeing him, I'm worried that one day we won't be able to control ourself I don't want to hurt anyone and because I love my boyfriend I don't want to leave him my heads just in a strange place at the moment so is they anything anybody can suggest to me?

You got to distance yourself from the guy. If you love your boyfriend and don't want to hurt him then don't. If the girlfriend of the guy you're talking to is your friend and you don't want to hurt her either then back off.
Does he feel the same way about you? Do you really want to know? You may hear something you don't like.
Truth is you really have to stop talking to him so much and control yourself!

Set boundaries of good behavior between you and don't cross them.

Or leave the boyfriend and back off from the friend, and get your head together and get beyond the weird place your head is in.

It still comes down to what you do about YOUR feelings, and if its getting to the point YOU or HIM cannot control yourselves, you have NO CHOICE, but to back away and remove yourself from the situation.

If your b/f behavior runs you to any one else's arms, then you need to end it.

Make a decision and follow through with it. I think your past the talking, ranting, and RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS!!

My gosh woman, you have had issues with this fellow every month this year, and that's after a failed relationship last year. Now you are falling for the only confidant you seem to have. HIS friend who has a girlfriend that's YOUR friend!!

Please, its time to deal with the REAL issue, that's YOU, and your big FEAR, being alone, as I am sorry you are out of control. You haven't even gone back to your doctor to have your meds adjusted. Come on now, get it done.

Well me and my boyfriend are over now and I'm gutted but least it makes me stronger and I think you are right I am scared of being on my own I just hate it!

You have made a lot of us here happy, now do what you have to do to make yourself happy with YOURSELF.

Threads merged



Me and my boyfriend have now split and it's really hit me hard, I don't know what to do to get over him, I've deleted all contact from him but I just can't get him out of my head, is they anything else I can do to help me get over it? I thought we were going to get back as he told me we might, but earlier he went nasty on me and told me we didn't have a chance, I'm just so upset!

Calm down as there are no quick fixes, just a hard process of healing to go through.

I'm back with my recent feller, we have been getting on so well, but he seems bit insecure in trusting me which I don't know how he's gone like this. He's gone away till next week and I'm really missing him and today is the 1st day he's gone, I woke up in the early hours of this morning and decided to text him because it were a few hours till his flight to tell him bye and that and we were texting each other but I kept falling asleep in each text and he text me telling me I were taking ages to reply and asking if I had another lad here, which has really got to me as I isn't like that at all. When he arrived in Turkey he told me he got there safely and that he loved me which I were happy about but later on he were saying he knows when a girl is seeing another lad and told me I'd been acting strange but I don't know how he thinks that! Plus he also said that he maybe just being cautious and maybe I'm just trying to get pay back from him splitting with me, with him being so far away from me has got me so worried and I don't know how to resolve it, his mum just told me to stick to the plan which is going to his to be there for when he gets back but I don't want him thinking I'm doing anything like that and splittling with me while he's away I feel really helpless at the moment! Please help what do I do?

Its terrible when two insecure people get together, as the communications is just way off, as each thinks the worst of every little thing, and you both worry about anything at all.

Innocent things shouldn't let to the imagination going wild and facts are what you need. Such as a simple "it 3:30 here and I can't stay awake" is a reasonable response, but the whole issue is in you BOTH being clear in thoughts, and actions, and thinking before speaking.

By the way, I doubt you can keep him from being insecure without calling him on it as reassurance is what he needs but there is a limit as to how far that goes, and when he gets carried away with his own imagination, you have to nip bad behavior, or bad reactions in the bud.

It sounds like he was worried, before he left.

You just got back together you said, was he with someone else after the breakup, before getting back with you?

Maybe its not you he is insecure about, maybe its himself.

For now, sit tight, and when he returns, in person, have a good stern talk to him. If he's already saying things like he knows when a girl is cheating and that you've been acting weird, as you said, and he 'jokes' about you having another man there, his jealousy and insecurity is showing.

It's not up to you to convince him that you aren't doing anything wrong. The question is, why is he saying things, and implying things that are not true, and is it going to stop.

Yeah he told me he was seeing one before we got back but it didn't feel right cause he missed me, I just don't know what to do last night he were texting me really sweet stuff then he started going on about me seeing another guy again, and I promised him that I wasn't and all he said was deny all you want I know you are and I will prove it when I get back I mean what am I meant to do maybe he were drunk but I still don't like being accused of that spesh when I isn't that type of person I don't believe in cheating what so ever!

Whatever his problem, its his to deal with, so let him deal with it without you paying the cost of his bad behavior.

Right here goes, me and my man are going through such pain atm, he recently found out what I did with his best mate I slept with him when we split up but I regret it so much! And he admitted that he kissed my mate while we were still together so that really hurt but I have decided to forgive him, it's just him finding it hard to forgive me for what I did, but my head were all over the place and I wasn't thinking straight, I didn't think that we would get back together or that he cared about me! We have been back together a month and it's been that long for him to find out and now he just seems so down about it and he keeps telling me he's thinking of leaving me so that we don't put each other through the pain but then he cuddles me and tells me he loves me and couldn't lose me again and we have even been making love I'm just so confused about him I don't know what to do? If he went away from me it would kill me in fact I'm scared of how I will take it please someone help me!

If you cannot remove yourself from this situation and his influence, you will continue to be miserable and in pain, so its YOUR decision to make.