I'd buy him a nice card -- one that says "Goodbye and Good Luck."
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I'd buy him a nice card -- one that says "Goodbye and Good Luck."
I wouldn't even bother buying him a card.
Assuming this is the guy from your other thread,wake up and smell the coffee,you can do much better than this immature brat.
While his attitude and sense of entitlement is lousy immature and selfish,you have to accept some of the responsibility because you feed into his bratty behavior by giving him what he wants.
This is not what real life is all about and he needs to stop being so superficial and you need to put yourself first.
You should not have to struggle to appease his desires.
Honor yourself and don't ever allow anyone to do less to you!
If I were to do anything,I would make a small donation in his name to a worthy charity,maybe then he will see that his petty greed is a very unattractive trait.
Of course its the same guy, and as usual the hard working mod has merged her threads. Oh why can't they just post on the same thread about the same guy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I don't know what else to say. You slept with his twin brother. They fought and are no longer speaking. His mother is infuriated that you caused a split in her family.
They will never accept you and if they do think of what an uncomfortable situation you are putting them in.
Your parents don't know you're back together and neither does his. You say you were drinking and taking drugs when the infidelity happened? That isn't a very good excuse. You say you were broken up at the time. You also say you are going to the military? That will be the end of it. He'll move on, you'll move on. So why are you asking again for advice!
Maybe by asking the same question over and over, we will give them the answer they want to hear. That way they can live in their happy fantasy land:DQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Wouldn't it be great if they took the advice sometimes?:D:DQuote:
Originally Posted by CarrotTalker
Holy crap.
Is this a movie?
I think I saw this one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Sounds like one. True story!:rolleyes:
Read "Twins"
Good lesson in coming in-between.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
I think I will!
I read it when I was 17 or 18.
Hardcore. That book stuck in my mind.
I know quite a few twins.
Guess I won't read it. There is enough drama on here! I got to go to bed. Goodnight Van!
You can't have a relationship without trust.
Let him know that his issues and extremes like making you call on your house phone are really getting to you, and you need to breathe. He needs to realize he has no reason to be acting like that, or else he's going to loose you.
Talk to him and If he cares about you, he'll adjust to this.
Good luck!
I went to visit my boyfriend at his apartment for my spring break so we can bond (he lives 3 hours away from me because of college). I find myself spending more time alone at his apartment while he is at tennis and he won't come back to the apartment till 12 hours later. I hate to ask him when he is coming back all the time because I feel clingy, but I feel like I am missing out on him. I feel more alone than ever. I think it is not fair because he won't even take me out of dinner because of money issues and other things. But I feel like being at an apartment for 12 hours by myself for 3 consecutive days is a waste of my time. I get upset very easily and I feel like tennis matches should not take more than 4 hours. Oh and I don't have any friends here and my car is not here either. So I pretty much have to sit tight here in this 4 room apartment by myself and watch TV all day. I feel like he is going out with his friends and even hanging out with girls while I am here. Is there any advice to help me feel like I am not an idiot?
The best advice I could give you is dump him, and go home, or where ever your car is.
As I remember that was the advice in your other posts. Making new posts about the same thing will not get different responses sorry.
Let the man go! You slept with his brother. Let him get that relationship with his brother back and get out of his life.
Nothing you do or say will take away the image of you having drunken sex with his twin brother.
Give the guy a break and move on!
Maybe you have just stayed pals with his brother.
Good friends are better than bad boyfriends.
You have done this all by yourself. Bad move.
What is the best thing to do to gain trust?
It is not repairable at ths point, and please break up ASAP.
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I just read all threads merged, and just amazed how a girl with brain could screw up a family and herself this much, and still does not know the real issue.
HER…
She is claiming she is smart enough to be a doctor (in taking exam only?), but she is really low and has no moral. Sorry for being so rude, but I wonder what kind of doctor she will make. I'm trying to factor in her age, hormonal level, and drinking, boy friend' absence, but it is beyond imagination and not repairable. You are way too much, girl!
The real issue is, it seems she is thinking she is still OK, and sleeping with boy friend's twin brother is not a big deal and forgivable (big non sense). She thinks the relationship will still go on (non sense), she wants boy friend's full attention (in this circumstance? Non sense), and also she wants her freedom to go to party and complaining her boy friend's restriction. This girl's head is totally messed up, and does not know what is wrong in her.
Shame on you.
Please break up with your boy friend ASAP for giving him a big favor, and go to every single party you want to go please.
HIM…
She is claiming her boy friend is great (non sense), but this guy is screwed up big time as well. He has no judgment to cut off the sleazy girl who slept with his own twin brother. Instead of getting rid of her, he is paranoid and asked her to call him to report where she is about. (Pathetic) He slept with other girls (not smart, but understandable in the circumstance), but took back her as girlfriend again and continued the drama (pathatic). He gave her birthday gift list which will cost hundreds of dollars AFTER she cheated on him with his twin brother (speechless). He needs to wake up, walk away from this girl permanently, and grow up as a man.
As Tal said, joining in military will be the best way to straighten up her malfunctioning life. We are not perfect, we all make mistakes on and off, bu it is way too much. I hope it helps you to improve your life. God Bless you.
One question,why on earth are you still with this guy??
Walk away! He's over it and you! I would be ashamed to stay in this relationship. You said you were taking an exam for the military! I take it you don't have kids. Let me enlighten you on being a mother, then you will know how yourboyfriends mother feels. You have hurt her son , by sleeping with his brother.
If she's anything like the mothers I know and the moms on this forum including myself, she is a lioness who see's both her cubs being hurt. She will strike out to protect them. You are the predator and you need to get out of her way and stop pushing this. I don't want to be a mean person and I hope you will someday see what you have done.
YOU CANNOT fix this, it would be like trying to save a drowning man when you don't know how to swim! Sex, drugs and alcohol DO NOT MIX.
Ok let me enlighten you guys again... The whole sex with brother thing happened last year. And we don't fight about that now. It is the fact he asks me to come visit him and I do and he doesn't spend time with me. Idk whether tennis takes that long or not. I have been to one of his games and his matches are 3 hrs long because he is top ranked in the U.S. and he plays division one team players. I mean maybe I can feel what tiger woods wife is feeling. I am dating a Feterer version. I mean you guys are extremely judgemental. Which helps but it is harder to do what you guys say to do. When he found out about me and his brother he ended it and I was like this is all right. I can handle it being over but he wanted to forgive and start over. I wasn't the one blowing up his phone but it was him who was texting me all the time. I mean he is immature, but what happens is the way it is. I developed myself to a point I want to join the military, but I would miss out on a year of college and in the end I would lose money by being with the military. There are so many pros and cons. I mean it isn't fair for one a person to b*tch about how sleazy I am when maybe this happens to a lot of girls. Not just me. I mean if you were in my shoes where would u find the strength to break up with a person that you known since you were in high school? And just tell them you are done with everything without going crazy? I would make a good doctor thank you very much because I study hard and I know more than a lot of 20 year olds in science. I worked my butt off to be a doctor because I strive for it. And in ethics you do not let your home life mess with your job. I mean I want to be a pathologist and for idiots who think I won't be a good doctor ask yourself to hold in your own throw up when a dead smelling corpse is right in front of you waiting to be discected. I may have personal issues but I do not let that effect my judgement and work. I already took a step a head and assist in embalming at nineteen years old at a funeral home.So to get use to the corpse. And if you want to just judge for what "kind" of doctor I will be and see for yourself if you can keep your nose in a book for hours on end at night studying for exams that will effect the course of your future career!
Well, I guess its how you wish to move forward with him and how he does with you.
Long distance I guess.
Communicating how you feel and the fact that he isn't around.
If he's Federer, then deal with those girlfriend implications.
You may have known him since HS, but that's in a way has nothing to do with actions now.
As far as the military, you mentioned that was a way to escape, so be that for it may.
Plus, I never mentioned sleazy. What makes you that?
Im hope you will be a good doctor. You already know the smell.
Just recognize the smell with this one.
You wanted advice we gave it. It doesn't matter to me about whether you're a doctor or a waitress at McDonalds, that's your business. You know what you are going to do whatever you want anyway so no more advice from me. But I will say this, I've backed up more miles than you've gone forward, so don't tell me how hard life is.
I learned from my mistakes , I have never been a drunk or a druggie nor have I ever slept with my husbands brother. But sin is sin, no big one ,no little ones. The reprecussions of your actions will be felt for years . So you are smart and intelligent! Good for you. Hope you go far and I hope you do become a doctor. For someone who is so smart in the education department, you should also be as smart in dealing with stress and now drown it with liquor and casual sex, mixed with drugs. Good luck!
My question was a general question and you went around it and referred to the first mistake like sleeping with his brother. That is irrelevant. Why should a girl like me be at home in an apartment hours on end waiting for my boo? I mean he comes home with food and spends time with me, but I don't think it is fair he jumps me with all this stuff and has to be gone all day.
I think it is healthy for him to have his own life and own activities. It seems he cares for you if he brings back food and spends time with you!Quote:
Originally Posted by lea_09
You might be expecting him to spend a lot more time than he can fit into his schedule, even if he wanted to.
Nice rant Lea, you're much to busy to keep trying to be with someone that has other things to do.
Don't waste any more time with him. You make time for him, but he doesn't make time for you. A simple fact, and I would be mad too! Then I would disappear, and see how long it takes him to notice.
That sounds like tons of fun.
I would talk to him about it. Sounds like your worried. Maybe some insecurities about him and your future together.
Ask how he sees things transpiring.
Lea.. listen I think you really love this guy and I think he loves you but there is so much baggage.Okay ! God forgives all except non belief and if you are sincerely sorry for the mistakes you've made he will forgive you.Quote:
Originally Posted by lea_09
You made a mistake but it doesn't give the boyfriend the right to treat you the way he has. If he doesn't want you then he should tell you and not leave you sitting by yourself wondering where he is. If he trying to punish you by doing this it's working.
From the way you talk of your hope and dreams you have a lot going for you. Pray about this and pray until you know you have an answer.
It may not be the answer you want but at least you'll know! I'm sorry about the things I said to you, I have no right to pass judgement on you..
Ask God to lead you in the right way and he will. God Bless
Sounds like you've had this fantasy about him since HS.
And painted this picture in your head about finally being together.
Now reality is another story.
Hes doing his thing, as probably he always has. Maybe that's one of the reasons you were attracted to him.
I would hope that when my girlfriend came to visit, I would make the extra effort to make it special & memorable.
Spoken from LD experience.
I think she's having a really hard time and I also think I was way to hard on her. I really want to help the people who come here in pain, but I have been very judgmental to some of these people.Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
I don't want to be two faced, I really have no use for two face people.
I just tell them what I think is wrong and probably end up hurting them worse. I hope she gets away from this guy because in a way I think he is punishing her for a mistake she made and yes it was a bad mistake.
Nobody is perfect and I hope she comes back and we can help her.
There may be judgements. Everyone here gives their best advice.
I think there's a ton of drama here. A friend betrayed, twins, history, motives, insecurity, selfishness. Should I continue?
Would love to be a fly on the wall when the brothers talk.
It would be great to hear their perspective on this.
One thing that I realized early on. And that's why Im still here.
Is that the advice here was transforming for me.
The sacrifice from incredible people her that care. Take the time away from there schedules to make sure people don't make the same mistakes that they have.
The only gratification is to know it may have made a difference.
And to learn in the process.
I think if he doesn't want her he should stop stringing her along!Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
He should be man enough to tell her instead of making her go on paying and paying for a mistake. I think if she left he would be really shocked and want her back and I hope she won't go back. Just my thoughts.
I think that's there's WAY more under the surface here.
This thread is packed with drama.
I talk to him about 'us' and asked him the other day why he was with me. And he said because 'I take care of him'. I was like really? Well yeah I drive 2 and a half hours to see you and I take time out of my schedule. I mean I am very supportive with him on everything. I mean he doesn't connect well in conversations with anyone. And his side of the story of the whole 'she slept with my twin' was that he told his mom that it was his brother's fault because we smoked weed together every time and had sex every time. And he tells her it has been going on forever. His brother denied the whole drugs, but admitted to have sex with me and he told the truth like I did and didn't make up an exaggerated story like my boyfriend did to make his parents more mad at us.Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
I actually talked to his brother a month a go and I thought he hated me for busting him. But he said that he was happy that I did in a weird way because things got so bad with drugs ( he only smoke(d) weed, but he was selling so much of every drug possiple that he was banking 3 grand per day). I thought he hated me and he said no because he had no control over anything and he said he loved me to death and if I never met his brother we would be together. After hearing this I was like heart broken and I no longer talk to him.
I mean I love my boyfriend but I connect mentally and emotionally with his brother. We were close because I could talk about stuff that I could never tell my boyfriend. And when we use to chill I would not think about anyone or anything. I did not think about all the hurt or drama at all when I was with him.
That is some of the stuff under the surface of the drama. Like the secret stuff.
Lea... I think if you want a lot of attention from your boyfriend then you are with the wrong guy.. A needy person can absolutely wear a relatioship down faster then anything If there is any hope of saving this relatioship stay away from the brother! You really should talk to a minister or good doctor. Good luckQuote:
Originally Posted by lea_09
I am not needy. It is called high maintenace. I mean he knew that when we first started dating that I was demanding, but I do stuff in return. I hate give and take relationships and he knows that I am not like that. So he hasn't complained about that ever.
At least I got a good laugh from that.Quote:
Originally Posted by lea_09
I can't give you any more advice. You are spoiled and selfish and I will not apologize for saying that! You are not the only one in this relationship. You say your "HIGH MAINTENANCE", like it's something toQuote:
Originally Posted by lea_09
Be proud of. I think Van is right and I will not keep going over and over this again... Good Luck
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