I've done that already
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I've done that already
Then why are you still asking about it here?Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
What happened in counseling?
I want to help. Please allow me to.Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
Nothing really happened, the counseling was more about my last relationship and how it ended. It really crushed me, I met this new girl... shes fantastic but I feel she's too good for me, I don't know what she sees in me. I feel like she will find someone better than me, or realise I'm a waste of time
The counseling has ended? Would you go back to explore your unwillingness to take emotional risks?Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
What's good about you?Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
A comment I read a few days ago on here, really made me happy I found these boards, it was said along the lines of,
"Whenever your having troubles, you can always come here. We'll be here to talk, help you through your issues...always"
That really made me smile, I still read these forums every couple of days now, maybe even everyday. It's interesting to see what people are going through, only a minimal percentage of people in the world... but being able to relate to other people who take the time to write about their issues, and the overwhelming of great responses has me coming back for more.
Which brings me back, to discuss something else that I feel I need to talk about. If anybody read my posts a few months ago, breaking up with my first true love.. you know I took it pretty bad. Needless to say, I'm still healing... but way better off than I was months ago. I haven't talked or heard from her since the middle of February and haven't seen her in person either, which has really helped me with that. But, that brings me to my next problem. I met someone, someone that... I think I have already ruined my chances with her.
We met online, the second time I've met someone online and started dating. We talked, about a lot of things... she knew about my ex who I had just broke up with a month prior, my situation and emotional state. However, she was adamant into making things work, which I didn't mind... I do genuinely like her, a lot. We met, things clicked and we started dating about a month ago. We have fun together, laugh... had great dates... she worked with my Mom for a few years, they already knew each other and they loved one another. Her parents liked me... it's a good situation... until I decided to bring out the "L" word.
A friend of mine today, told me about how she has been talking to him. About our situation, how I said that I loved her after a week (I did, probably not the smartest of idea's), just... personal stuff that I wish she talked to me about... not my friend. Today, talking she said she was having thoughts about her feelings.. I asked "About me?"... she said "No" and she left it at that. At that time, afterwords is when my friend started telling me about the things she had said to him.
This leading me to believe, things are going to come crashing down really soon. Per say, I think she's going to breakup with me. I can say, I really do love her... I know what love feels like, and from what she says to me.. she loves me too. She says she gets butterfly's when she sees me, stuff like that. I know she could be saying it to shield my feelings so I don't get hurt. I don't know what to think. I move too quickly, and it seems to be the downfall of my relationships... at least this one.
We have been through quite a lot together in just a months time, we had a pregnancy scare... YESTERDAY. She came over at 8 am, telling me she thought she was pregnant. We went back to her place, she cried... I was shaking, neither of us ready for this. I'm 21, she's 18. We had an "accident" when having sex about a week ago... the condom came off, neither of us knew for how long or when. Pretty sure I wasn't inside her but I insisted on being safe and bought "Plan B". So, yesterday she told me she had been sick in the morning for a few days, vomiting... other classic signs of being pregnant. We went, bought a test... took it and she wasn't. The relief on both our faces, she grabbed me instantly... hugged me and kissed me and said she loved me. Before I even knew about this... she texted me at 7:30am that morning saying "We need to talk"... we all know that's never a good sign.
Instantly I thought she was going to break it off then, I texted her back. "Can you just tell me?"... "I'm not breaking up with you...I love you too much"
I just don't know what to think right now, or even what to do. I figure, give her space... let her think. It's all I can really do. This morning she was talking like everything was okay... then suddenly she has these thoughts about her "feelings". I texted her after my friend and I talked... saying "its about me, isn't it?" and haven't had a response since. Which is fair, I'll leave her be and let her have the space she needs to think about this. I just don't know what to do.
Just a bit of an update... we just talked and she told me once again that her "problem with her feelings" have nothing to do with me... and she says we are fine. I have a hard time believing that.
Your threads have been merged so as not to confuse us, so keep all your posts about the same subject here and just post updates and give input to the advice and questions you receive. No need for new threads about the same thing.
As to your latest post, hold your head up, and see that not only do you fall fast for another female, but you don't cope very well to the stress of a relationship. You have no confidence man, and that's what you need. That's what gets us through tough times, and even rejection. Just having the attitude of everything will be alright no matter what life throws at you makes things a lot better and maybe you won't get so carried away by your gloom and doom attitude and see things differently. That's what confidence does, makes you see things differently, and you know what you have to do to stay confident.
Jumping from female to female is not confidence, its merely replacing what you lost with another face, and body. The pregnancy scare was a fair warning that you move to fast, and are so carried away by your feelings of loss from the ex, and just want someone else to make you feel better about yourself.
If your not happy with who you are, and what you are, then change it, and be that happy person who has something good to share with another. Now you're all in love with a new female, who maybe doesn't understand you but sure as hell will go as fast as you want. But trust me, that pregnancy scared her into thinking with her head and not her feelings and things will change, they have to, or there will be more scares and some hurt feelings.
How about talking more, and screwing less, since neither of you seems to be ready for the consequences of having sex, and neither is in love. Its lust for sure, and when it wears off, you will see what's left.
Most mature people who have feelings, talk to make sure they establish some boundaries through communications, to deal with these very real issues, others who act on impulse and feelings have kids that ruin a relationship, and the future of themselves, and the kids that "just happen".
Think dude before you get into something you should have seen coming, and done the right thing about it. I bet your counselor already told you to stay out of relationships until you have healed and dealt with your issues and gotten some degree of confidence through accomplishing goals of your own, and have a healthy dignity, and self respect for yourself. If they didn't tell you this, then I am now.
I agree with you saying, I need more confidence. I think if there is any major flaw in who I am... it's the lack of confidence in myself. And confidence is something which does make or break who somebody is. I think I have more confidence in myself then I did say, a few months ago... I did learn things about myself, who I am, where I am going.
And, in saying I am jumping from female to female couldn't be further from the truth. I don't believe in meaningless relationships or sex. There has to be a purpose to everything sexual to me... that's why I was a virgin until last year. She is only the second girl I've ever had sex with.
Perhaps we do need to have sex less, and talk more. In fact, I agree with that. I'm never the one to initiate sex, I know that might sound absurd... but she always engages in it. Perhaps I need to tell her "No".
As for my counselor, I stopped seeing her after two sessions. Probably the biggest mistake I made, I felt after talking the two times I didn't need the help anymore. I think all my trust issues, worrying relates back to my parents divorce. It seems anyone who comes into my life... eventually leaves, so I try and protect myself rather then putting my guard down and allowing myself to be fully happy with someone.
This girl, is remarkable... she makes me feel incredible. We got through that little scare together, and I think it could make our relationship stronger rather than hurt it. I think it will depend on how things go... we just talked, just about nothing in particular for an hour... just talked. I think this will cause us to be more careful, but like you said... put boundaries on our relationship.
As for myself... I think getting more self confidence would be so much more beneficial to myself... I just can't seem to get any. I'm not lazy, I have a great work ethic... and I'm a nice person, almost too nice to a degree. I don't know where to go from here... as of now... my girlfriend and I still are going on our date tomorrow night.
Can you hook back up with this counselor to dig into your abandonment and trust baggage?Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
I could yes... but my mind is now more on my current girlfriend then that right now. I want to make sure honestly everything is okay with us like she says.
You're putting the cart before the horse. And there's no room in your life for both of them?Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
There definitely is, I'll look into it right away. It would be good to talk again.
Otherwise, you're going to be sitting in my office and talking with ME.Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
Hehe. Wouldn't complain. But, what should I do with this situation. My girlfriend says everything is fine... believe it?
"Fine" is a loaded word with shades of meaning. Being together and just talking (no sex) will tell you a lot. (May I come along and sit in the back seat? I'll be quiet.)Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
I made sure I confirmed it with her, she has had trouble with her feelings lately, she is adement it has nothing to do with me, I can't not believe her and hound her about the situation. I ask, because I tend to over think things, and it consumes me. The fact I have to go to work tonight, and wonder if the end is near between us will make my work, and brain suffer. I'm sure Ill be glued to my cellphone for texts.
Sounds like you're your own worst enemy...Quote:
Originally Posted by BWK10
Can you tell yourself some other story? Maybe mentally clean my house before Sunday when my mother-in-law comes over.
BWK10, a good friend of mine always tells me "Dont waste your energy focusing on things you can't control, but use that energy to focus on things you can control" the feelings she has you have no control on it, but you can control yours, and what you need to do is be the best man you can for her. Don't smother her with your insecurity cause that would only push her away. If she wants to talk about her feelings, don't say is it about us I don't want us to break up. All your trying to do is make her feel bad and hold back on her feelings. Wondergirl and tal are right, you need to focus on YOU. How can you have a healthy relationship if you can't even have a healthy relationship with yourself. Work on yourself whatever it is you need to work on, before you work on a relationship. How can you expect to help her if you can't even help yourself Emotion wise.
Please talk to your counselor again, and really address everything that's been going on with your life, Not with your recent break up,but with your dad leaving. The sooner you fix your past the sooner you can face the future.
I just wanted to take a minute to personally say, from the bottom of my heart to everyone who reads/posts regularly on this website that I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the help, guidance and advice I have received since I stumbled upon this website four months ago.
You helped me through my first real breakup, and helped me back to my feet... and I have now found a truly amazing, beautiful, intelligent and fantastic partner. Today was my 21st birthday, she came to dinner with my family and I... and came back and watched a movie. She looked at me a way I have never been looked at before, and she told me she was truly happy and has never been this happy before... it made my heart melt. I'm finally happy.
Anybody reading this, who is going through a hard time... it gets better over time, trust me. You WILL find somebody, the girl I am with now.. may not be who I spend my life with, but I could see myself with her years down the road. Keep your heads up, listen to people on here... they have been through it before and makes it a lot easier.
Sincerely, A happy, happy guy! :D
Your threads have been merged so as not to confuse us, so keep all your posts about the same subject here and just post updates and give input to the advice and questions you receive. No need for new threads about the same thing.
If anybody does somehow, read this in full and comment. I commend you for being patient; here it goes.
I'm not too entirely sure if anybody here remembers me, hopefully a few of you do. I wrote on here quite a bit around four months back, my ex girlfriend and I had a split, and I wrote about it. Perhaps, if you want you could go back and read what I had wrote, I guess generally you could sum it up as the "first true love" heart break that everybody goes through. I took it relatively hard, and found solace in writing on this board. I'm not too entirely sure why, but it worked... I did talk to my friends and family, my mother being a great support to me through it all. We'll, after a few weeks of going through constant battles of emotional and physical torment (not eating).. I found somebody else. This is where my second story begins. I am hoping I can find a little more comfort writing, as I love to do it. I hope you all find time to read, and respond.
The story starting the first day I met her, we'll call her... Jess.
I met her online, as I did my previous girlfriend. I have no problem, no shame in admitting how I met somebody. Ironically, she and my mother worked together for a few years at a local restaurant. We started talking, and she told me about how she knew my mother... and that the two of them got along great. I figured it would be a good idea, since I never knew Jess personally, how my mother and her co-workers viewed her. My mother raved about how delightful, intelligent and quirky she was and that everybody at work got along with her. The only bad thing I had heard about her was she had a bit of a temper and attitude (I encountered that, but not all too much). We talked for quite a bit, probably two weeks online. I told her about my previous relationship, and how hurt I was and still was with the situation. She understood, but confessed how much she in fact liked me. One night, spontaneously I received a text message from her. We set up a date, a time to meet. I got nervous, stood her up (I forever hate myself for doing that). I told her, I was nervous and not sure if I was ready for this. She understood, but she liked me too much that she was willing to give me another chance... instead of ridding of me. She picked me up a few nights later, kind of an awkward way to meet somebody for the first time. I got into her car, looked at her... so quirky she was, and absolutely gorgeous. We drove around for awhile, she was terribly nervous, laughing and giggling at absolutely anything and everything I said... it was, cute. I wasn't sure if I liked her, she seemed... weird, lol. I don't know what it was with her, but I felt drawn to her. Trust me, it wasn't the idea of having somebody to replace my ex either... I was attracted to her.
We continued to talk, and hang out... we never had sex, or even kissed. She kind of, pushed me into a relationship I don't think I was totally ready for at the time, still only dealing a month with my ex-girlfriend wasn't enough time to properly heal. We kind of just, agreed to start seeing each other, regularly. Her, in school for a bachelors degree, myself... waiting a few years before going back to school to peruse my dream in law enforcement. We spent a lot of time together for the first month, almost inseparable. Besides myself working, and her school... we would always be around each other. It was, great. I loved every minute of it, some of my best memories are of her jumping into my arms and giving me a huge hug! She fit right in with my family, my Mom and her knew each other and talked like mother and daughter. My brother, would treat her great and strike up conversations with her. All was well, my family wasn't too fond of my last girlfriend... they loved Jess. The same goes for her family, so I thought (more of that later). They welcomed me, had me for dinner every second Sunday evening and treated me really good. Jess, being three years younger than me... her being only 18 her mother was still fairly, controlling. She would have to be home by ten, and be in bed by 11. It was like dating someone in high school. It was fine though, I liked Jess enough to deal with it... we did see each other a lot.
Summer came, school was over and it was time for her to get a full-time job. Working in a busy office, 10-12 hour days... along with being in a choir and just being a girl... her time was limited. Something that always bothered me was, in order for myself to get anytime with her. I always had to set something up, I never recall once time in the 3 months we dated when she set something up to see me. I tried, the wait and see game with her... but I couldn't resist trying to get time with her. I have lots of free time, other than working 40 hours a week... I don't really have a lot on my plate. This is where things became difficult, I wanted her to have her time to herself, and with her friends but I also wanted a commitment from her to have her spend some time with me. I asked her, prior to start dating if she was ready for a long-term relationship, and if she would have time for us. She full out said yes. Worse came to worse, and I decided since her one day off from work would be Wednesday... I would take it off work so we could see each other. That worked... for one Wednesday. We spent all day together, from 9 am till 11 pm. It was great, we made dinner, talked, did our running around together and had sex a few times.
We began, rather than texting, writing e-mails to one another. About half a page worth, talking about future plans and how happy we were together or just about anything in general. She loved them, she told me that co-workers had saw some of them and said that she definitely has a "keeper". She would talk about me at work, saying how happy she was, or how she loved the roses I would get her.
I had lots more spare time on my hands, and sitting at the computer one evening, I remember a situation with my ex girlfriend that had me pretty bitter. Dating back, I remember one night going on the website that we met on, and found her to be actively on the website listed as "single" (We broke up a week later). Now, I am not a very trusting type of guy and my head gets the best of me sometimes. I decided to go on the website that Jess and I met on... to see if she had been online. Guess what? She had been. I was shocked, and very... pissed off. I had her over the following night, she knew something was wrong as soon as I had picked her up. We both knew each other pretty good, when something was wrong. We got back to my place, and told her what I had discovered. She admitted she had been on the site, editing her profile to change it to "Not Single". I checked, and it was true. I let the issue go. A few weeks later, I checked again... no idea why, just a gut feeling. She was on, again. Still, listed as Not Single... this bothered me. I had heard from a close friend of mine, a buddy of his and Jess had hooked up on the site, simply for sex. I was appalled, I confronted her about being on the site again. She flat out denied it, breaking down into tears and saying "Why can't everyone just let me be happy?". I let this one go too, I had to trust her... I had no reason not too, I believed that. This continued to bother me, I kept checking to see if she had been on... and she had been. Even after we sat down and talked about it, I guess I was too naïve to see what was in front of me. I just let this go from this point on.
Our relationship got kind of rocky after two and a half months. Her job was taking up a lot of her time... any free time she did have she spent either with friends, or making up lies not to see me. I would be driving around town and see her driving her car, or somewhere else. She began ignoring my texts, my calls, etc. I wasn't smothering her, I left her alone and waited for her to text me. I let her have her space, she did her things... I did mine. This went on for about a week, maybe a bit longer. The Tuesday night, we got together and watched a movie together at her parents place... had I known this would be the last night her and I would be together as "boyfriend/girlfriend" I would have made the most of it, not meaning have sex... rather, cherished the time I had with her. She kissed me good night and I headed home. Woke up the next morning, headed over to her place. It was Wednesday, our day. I thought maybe she just needed a relaxing day, cause of all the work and such she had been doing. A day at home, I'd take care of her she wouldn't have to raise a finger. Didn't work that way, she had "lots of running around to do" and she only had a few minutes. We walked out to our cars, she kissed me goodbye and I headed home and did some of my own things. I'm driving around later that night, and see her so I throw her a text, "Just saw you, love your new haircut". Never got a response, I knew something had been brewing for the past week... as I said, she seemed different.
The past week, I had been stressing out pretty hard... she wouldn't tell me what was wrong. The days leading up to the breakup, I told her whatever was bothering her, she could tell me. I wasn't sure if it was the pregnancy scare (Truth be told, she hadn't had her period cause of all the stress she had been having with work, school... she took TWO tests, both negative) or if she just wasn't happy. I left her alone at this point, completely. I never wrote her, texted her... anything. She absolutely rang me out one morning cause I knew something was wrong... but a text saying "Nothing is wrong, you need to quit making assumptions....I love you, nothing will change that", eased me... slightly. I decided a night alone, to myself and a few laughs would be what I needed. I laid down, turned on a movie only to receive a text saying "Hey...so you know I have been saying nothing is wrong?" from Jess. I called her, and asked her to come over... she agreed. I knew what was coming, I had prepared myself for the past week... I couldn't cut it short earlier in the week... I loved her, and wanted to be with her. She came inside, just the two of us. She started crying, and apologizing and said I wasn't right for her. I held her, we hugged... many times. She said she was so sorry, and it had nothing to do with me, that I just... wasn't right for her. She said, her family and best friend knew it... but just kept their lips tight. This was hard, I broke down with her... we hugged, she whipped the tears from my face and even gave me a kiss on the cheek and said I deserve someone better, and that Id find someone who loved me. She had to go, mommy wanted her home... we couldn't talk much.
I was devastated, I had fallen in love with this girl. I loved everything about her. Her personality, her morals, her looks... absolutely loved EVERYTHING about her. We had our difficult times, I never gave up on her... with anything. I knew from experience, only a few months ago what I needed to do. I learned, that's what you need to do from things like this. I'm a firm believer in god, and believe he will do what is best for me. I am a strong person, I had only broken down that night and early Thursday morning. I went No Contact immediately. I knew that's what I needed, its how I healed the last time. My family and friends we're very supportive, I couldn't have asked for more.
The next day, after work... I decided a friend and I from work would hangout a bit... keep my mind busy. We went out and bought some food, and I am walking and hear my phone to start vibrating. I'm intrigued, wondering who it was... guess who? Jess. "Hey, hows it going?". I wasn't sure how to react, albeit less than 24 hours ago she broke my heart. I thought, maybe she realized she made a mistake... we talked... she said she missed me, and we should meet up and talk more. I thought this was a good idea, cause we didn't talk the night before and we would go for breakfast the next morning and I could get more questions answered and see what she had to say.
I got up, bright and early and headed down to where we agreed to meet. She showed up, but she didn't look to good... not accustomed to how she normally would look. She looked like she had been up all night, crying and what not. She showed up, extremely bitter... as if I asked her to breakfast cause I had to talk. We sat down, and to cut the story short... she just asked to be "friends?"... I was so confused, its been less than 2 days and you invited me to breakfast to be friends. Her excuse was, "I don't think I can cut you out of my life completely. I want to be friends, so I can talk to you...and tell you all my problems and have you be there for me". I felt like, I would be there just to be the fallback guy. At this point, I asked my questions... about her being on the dating site while we we're together, if their was another guy... she denied it all. She got even more aggravated when I told her I didn't view her as a friend and more as a companion. We got our bills, and headed out. To this day, I don't know why I did what I did. I paid first, and waited at the door for her and she looks at me, "Why are you waiting for me?". I think its cause, I still believed she was mine or I just couldn't help but be considerate. She blew past me, I was upset at this point as she stormed to her car. "Jess..." I said, she stopped, turned around. This point, I had enough... I need to heal. "Just, leave me alone" as I got into my car. "If that's what you want, you got it"... and that's the last I have heard from her to this day.
I still can't stop myself from thinking about her, checking her Facebook (I deleted her, but can still view her things), or her online biography which she edited on the dating website we have been on... saying she is looking for somebody else. I can't find myself to will myself not to look at these things... they bring me down slightly, as if I wasn't good enough for her.
I can't seem to pass 3 months with a relationship. They seem to get messed up somehow. I think my first relationship, prior to Jess... the demise was more or less my fault. With Jess, I really don't think I did anything wrong with her. I'm lost.
You don't have to do anything wrong for feelings to change, or for the interest just to fizzle out. Its just a reality of life and the thing you have to accept is moving to fast with the love, and commitment thing, especially when sex is involved, as lust tends to fade rather quick, but can be confused for love, Its no guarantee of a life long thing happening. And its easy to assume that your intense feelings are felt the same way by the partner you are with.
Actually dude, you kiss a lot of frogs before you find one that stays with you for life. That's just the way it is for most all the humans on the earth, so your not alone.
Learn to enjoy what you have, and move on when its over.
Thanks. Appreciate you reading this. I have been told by a few people lately that you will go threw a few before you find the right person. I just hope that's true :)
I've been in the same boat bwk10. I can't figure it out. The good news is that you will fall in love again. I keep thinking "this one is the one" then we break up for no good reason and then I meet the next "one". Only advice I can give is after a while, you slow down on jumping into the falling in love stage and relax (take it slow) more. You're at the age where you will kiss a lot of frogs but you still have plenty of time. Don't worry about finding the right one until you are in your late 20s.
I'd love to hear more input towards what everyone thinks of my situation. How do I go about "forgetting" about her, aka... stop looking at her Facebook and such. I know it has a lot to do with will, but I can only will myself so long before I become frustrated and need to look for any crumbs I can pick up. Pathetic? Yes, I know.
What helps me "forget" is reminding myself what women want. They want a man! And they like confidence. A man doesn't check a woman's Facebook page for crumbs. If she wanted to talk to you again, you haven't become the man she is looking for. When you want to check her Facebook page, think about what a man would do. He wouldn't care what she was doing. Once you don't care, you are ready for a new relationship or better prepared (more desirable) for her if you ever had a chance to win her back.
Anyone else care to share?
So. I was driving around town tonight and saw my ex girlfriends car. Needless to say... I went into the shop I thought she was at and she wasn't there. So, I decide to go across the parking lot and sit and wait to see where she was. Needless to say, looking around I am pretty sure she saw me on the balcony of the restaurant she was at. Mind you, I wasn't sure if it was her. Regardless that's not the point... I am dumb for doing this. I needed to confess to someone.
I'm so embarrassed of my behavior, I hope she Didn't see me. That's embarrassing and I am ashamed of myself for even doing that.
Yep DUMB , here's an official slap on the wrist ;)
As long as you've learn't your actions have consequences it's a good thing.
Yes. Agree, dumbest ing thing I could do. IDK why, I promised myself Id never do that. What do I do if she did see me? She never texted me or anything... but like, ugh... so embarrassing. I could never admit I did that
Does it feel better to confess? How long has she been an ex for?
Do you think you will do this again, or it scared you enough to think again about doing it.
She saw you she will feel stalked. Which you can not blame her for feeling that way.
How long were you together for? Well I have to give you a pat on the back for admitting that what you did was not good.
Joe
Ex for about three weeks. Yes, I would totally understand if she did see me how she'd feel. I'm ing petrified at the idea that she saw me. It was ing dumb, stupid, immature... trying to purposely bump into her. Totally a dumb idea, I just had to confine to someone... couldn't to people I know personally.
That is what we are here for. You know what it is understandable that you just wanted to see if you wanted to run into her. The thing is please please do not act nervous and get all freaked out. Or if some time you do see her she will think something is up.
Act like you do not care, do not be obvious about what you did. Do not let on anything. Try your best to let it go whether she saw you or not.
Leave it alone, and move on. Hopefully your fears will be ungrounded and maybe she did not see you and if she did, just lay it up as an not a big deal. Like you were just out there doing your own thing.
Hopefully. I will say, I am ashamed of myself and that certainly won't happen again. I really hope she did not see me, and if something does come of it... I won't let on anything happened. It would be a weird way though.. I drove into a parking lot across and sat in my car looking at hers until I saw people on the balcony which looked like they were looking at me. I drove by on my way out and couldn't tell if it was her or not.
I know that it is something that freaked you out, and embarrassed you but believe me I think your worrying over nothing. She was probably so focused on her own things and dinner and whatever else she was doing. She probably did not even see you, if it was even her in the first place.
Just learn from this mistake and do your best not to let it happen again.
Yeah I know, but I don't want it to get around that I'm a "stalker" cause I'm not. I just think maybe it was bumping into her she would realize she still missed me or something... kind of pathetic to say. I hope maybe I am overdoing this, just a concern,
I do not believe you're a stalker... You see a stalker would have no remorse, a stalker does not believe he/she is doing something wrong, a stalker can be violent and dangerous and tries to seek out somebody at all times.
Your remorseful, your embarrassed, your confessing, your feeling like a dumb @ss. So please calm down and remember that okay. There are big differences.
I'm still freaking out. I'm just so ashamed
Ok, good news. I had to go get gas for my car, legitimately. Had to pass that restaurant to get there. It was her Mom using her car, they just so happened to be standing out at her car talking as I passed by. Thank god... however, we met online and I see she is online looking for someone else... this bothers me. No idea why since I am doing the same thing.
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