Communication only gives bad advice check his other posts
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Communication only gives bad advice check his other posts
I'm not going to say you shouldn't start dating, but wait awhile. You will again but be cautious. Sometimes when you get out of one relationship and jump right back in another, someone ends up getting hurt. Take a female friend out to dinner, maybe a movie. Just don't jump from the frying pan into the fire..Quote:
Originally Posted by Communication11
Her number is blocked my my phone, but I still get voicemails. She left 8 voicemails in like 2 minutes, saying repeatedly "I need my key back, I need my key back...I can come and get it or you can bring it to me"
I forgot to give her the key back yesterday to her apartment. I didn't call her back, I just sent a simple text stating that I would drop it off to my cousin in law that is a mutual friend that lives halfway. I don't want to see her, so hopefully when I drop this key off this evening, that will be the LAST of it! No more texts and No more bugging me
Hopefully so.
Keep up the NC.
She wants to be "alone", so she kicks you out for the night, so she can have another guy over? Good riddance! Let this new guy deal with her alcoholism, her "time traveling", and cheating.
Write down all of her bad habits, and all of the things that you have had to overlook these past years. Keep that list handy whenever you have feelings of loss so you can get back on track of getting on with your life.
Life is too short to put up with people like her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
If you have caller ID don't answer. PLEASE don't let her reel you back in.
Strength and Confidence in yourself needs to be your first priority!
I believe she's the type who dosen't want you but she wants you there only when she thinks you're pulling away. Break the strings.;);)
Yeah believe me I am... I dropped off the key to my cousin in law(her best friend) . My cousin in law didn't even know I was coming over to drop off the key... My ex girlfriend said she knew about, but she was shocked when I came to the door... she didn't even know we broke up and that it was odd because usually they tell each other everything...Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Anyhow, I sent a FINAL and yes folks this is FINAL text saying :
"It is not my intention to paint a bad picture of you....I am disappointed tho, and that is why I've chosen to part ways....The key is over susan's house"
I was not expecting a reply as all her incoming messages are blocked... hopefully this is done for good... my cousin-in-law was a just concerned and was hoping to would not be a big mess this summer because my ex girlfriend is really cool with my family, and they invite her to cook outs as well... They figure just because we didn't get along, does not mean it is wrong to invite her... But I know her too well to know she won't go anyway...
Anywhoo was just giving you guys an update, and please don't scream down my throat about that final text I sent lol
You are finally taking the right steps and I hope your family realizes how hard this has been for you and start easing her out of family gatherings. You don't need that! I am so proud of you! Stick to it!Quote:
Quote by confused580;
Yeah believe me I am... I dropped off the key to my cousin in law(her best friend) . My cousin in law didn't even know I was coming over to drop off the key... My ex girlfriend said she knew about, but she was shocked when I came to the door... she didn't even know we broke up and that it was odd because usually they tell each other everything...
Anyhow, I sent a FINAL and yes folks this is FINAL text saying :
"It is not my intention to paint a bad picture of you....I am disappointed tho, and that is why I've chosen to part ways....The key is over susan's house"
I was not expecting a reply as all her incoming messages are blocked... hopefully this is done for good... my cousin-in-law was a just concerned and was hoping to would not be a big mess this summer because my ex girlfriend is really cool with my family, and they invite her to cook outs as well... They figure just because we didn't get along, does not mean it is wrong to invite her... But I know her too well to know she won't go anyway...
Anywhoo was just giving you guys an update, and please don't scream down my throat about that final text I sent lol
And it would be better not to invite her to family gatheringsTell your family she is no longer in your life .
Good for you, man! That had to be hard.
Tell your family that they need to be on board with this. Its about you.
No Contact now from everyone, even when she tries. Seriously.
She has already gone away, now you & everyone is need to follow suit.
Support of the family is very important!Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Wow, this may sound weird. I feel bad that I dumped her... what if she Really just wanted to be by herself that night just because of all the drama that happened this weekend from her birthday... what if I was wrong? Or is this just normal to wonder
Its very normal, trust me!
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Yes it is!
Don't falter now. Nows the time for strength.
Use your gut here. That's what we get confused about.
Letting others manipulate our feelings for wrong reasons.
You know already the right thing to do. You just have to let yourself know.
Remember him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Don't start second guessing your decisions.
If you do you will be right back at square one.
It is typical to have these feelings, but STOP. That's why I suggested the "list".
She wants to have you and date around at the same time. Which is considered cheating by most people.
Find a girl who doesn't make you come on sites like this one to find sanity.
The world is full of girls who have mutual respect for the people they date. Go find one of THOSE girls.
I wish you luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmjoseph
You are spending way too much time and energy dwelling on someone who isn't"t going to change and you cannot change her. Life is too short to spend your time waiting for her to fulfill you. She isn't going to do that. As i have said so many times to other people, "you cannot fix anyone. They have to do that themselves". Good Luck!
Thank you all. It feels weird, its been 5 days since we last spoke, which was the break up and I feel Im already over it. Is that denial... Its odd. I don't wonder about what she is doing. Maybe its too soon to say I'm over it who knows.
She should be as well, although that''s not my concern. I know she works everyday from 7am-5, then 6-10:30pm she has class, so she really has no time to think about or miss this relationship, in which that Im glad
I don't know if its because I slept with someone on Saturday. I know it was the wrong thing to do this soon, it just happened
We'll see how Day 6, 7, etc go. A lot of people say even I bad relationships, it can take a person a long time to get over it. It odd that I feel over it now Way too soon
Yeah still feel over it this soon. Is that normal?
Don't feel guilty. Just get over it the right way.
By stop being confused. Get with who you are. It's the best thing for you to move on & experience other things.
Hey, 5 days & I'm over it. Then how long does it really take?
What's the question?
That's up to you man.
Hooking up & having fun is one thing, relationships are another.
Whattya want?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
A few people that I explained my situation to stated that sending erotic text messages like that is just flirting, and there's nothing wrong with it. Do you all agree?
Who are you sending them to?
Your ex or the girl you slept with? Your friends are wrong.
Regardless, you need to get straight. What is it exactly are you doing?
Forget about this girl & be single. Sounds like you aren't ready for a relationship beyond this one yet. Maybe you both were (are) drinking too much.
Don't repeat the same thing, spend another 6.5 years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
What in the world is wrong with this guy! Where's the tylenol? I'm not talking about you Vanheart. You have given this guy great advice!
One giant hangover.
Why did you stay with her for 6 years is the question.
Im starting to know she isn't they only culprit here. From your actions.
Start getting your act together, seek some therapy.
This girl isn't good for you and vis-versa.
Get to the point where you don't need to question your own actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
No, No, No... Im not talking about the girl I slept with this weekend..
Im talking about the guy my ex was receiving messages and sending messages to,which is the reason I broke up with her... Quite a few people say that's nothing but flirting and that its nothing wrong with that. I'm just getting your input...
Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
You sound like someone who has a one track mind. Sex with anyone who is willing and erotic phone messages. Gosh no wonder you don't have a real relationship. Have you even thought about STDs? I doubt it. I think you are self-absorbed and you want what you want, no matter what. Do you also get off on porn?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
You are NOT understanding what I'm asking... I broke up with my EX because she was receiving and sending erotic messages on her cell phone and I went through the phone while she was sleep and found them... People are saying that was just flirting what SHE did
What I did this weekend was slept with this girl(that I've known for a long time), because I KNEW that I was NOT going to go BACK to my EX after what I found in her phone... THATS WHAT I was saying
Where are you getting this std stuff from, and me being self absorbed?? I WAS THE one was WRONGED!
Yeah,
Why are you even letting those things enter your mind.
Stop hanging on to this. If you really want to be a man, then realize this is over and start taking some steps.
It sounds like you haven't done jack.
You haven't answered any of our questions like why did you stick with this girl?
May shed some light on why you are still hanging on. More so about what kind of person you are & the people you attract & get with.
That's the key. Do some digging on that if you have the will to.
Haven't seen much will yet.
In basic terms, people are saying that I should NOT have left my girlfriend, because what she did was only text message those erotic things, and that some people flirt like that and its harmless ,especially if they don't get enough attention from you...
THAT WAS my question! I was ASKING your input
Because family members of mine are saying that was just flirting that she didQuote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Dude, cmon.
Doesn't sound like you are telling your friends, or us the whole story. This didn't just happen, its been going on.
She did this naughty texting twice (that we know of), then stripped & started sucking on your cousin's face?
Sounds like one of many episodes that will only continue.
This isn't harmless? Is it causing you harm? You're posting here, right?
You did the right thing by breaking up, now move on.
Let you both get it together. Go NC.
BTW, why did you stick with this girl?
Lol year you are right... My cousin is a girl as well, so that stripping part didn't bother me... but yeah the first time, she was touching herself while talking on the phone with some guy while drunk, and the second time was the text message with some other guy..Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Ok thanks for the advice, I already knew it. You know I'm at the phase when you start second guessing things... The "what if this", or "what if that"... I guess that's part of a normal break-up. Go easy on me Lol. The guilt of the dumper who thinks maybe it was them... That comes from using your heart, and not your HEAD!
I haven't been in contact since the dumping last Wednesday, and so yes I am continuing NC.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
After the first time she did this with someone on the phone, she was crying hysterically the next day when I told her what she did. She had a black out while drinking and did not remember. Alcoholics do go through that so I could understand that part
Why did I stick with her? Everyone makes mistakes... I forgave the first time... Alcoholism is a sickness, and I understood that she more than likely didn't know she did that, because she got that persons number off one of those classified ads while she was drunk
So basically I forgave her the first time. I'm only human... The second time is when it was "stirke, you're out!"
So, why did you stay for 6.5 years?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Because the first incident was back in October 2009, this last incident happened last Saturday. Before the first incident, everything was fine
Stop sleeping around! Get your head straight ! If you are doing it to get back at her then it's not working. You got to let her go, completely!Quote:
Originally Posted by confused580
If everything was fine, then this wouldn't happen.
Stay NC. Let her figure things out, especially if she doesn't want to talk about why.
During that do a bit of work on yourself & why you let this happen & why you let family members say what she did was OK.
If you do that, then maybe you won't allow this to happen ever again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Why I let this happen? You cannot control what another person does. That's like saying, if someone cheats on u, why did you let it happen... You can't control.. People cheat for all kind of reasons, and mostly they are selfish reasons. How was I suppose to know it would get to this. So what do you mean why did I let this happen.. Maybe I'm not understanding you, if that is what you meant by that statement...
U say if everything was fine this wouldn't happen? Do u mean the first incident that I forgave her for?. Do u know there are A LOT of folks that cheat out the blue, when Everything is going fine previously with their current partner... Not all cheaters have an excuse. Maybe some were abused as kids, who knows... Not everyone has a motive or reason to cheat
Yes I am still NC, and will REMAIN that way... Maybe I didn't give her enough attention... OH WELL... its over and done with. I will let you know in a month my progress...
What I will say to you is for the last 6.5 years, we've had that make-up break-up type of relationship where we've never been broken up for more than 2 or 3 weeks and yes I know that is TOXIC, which is WHY I'm standing my ground. She has no way to get in contact with my due to phone blocking... facebook was blocked decades ago, even when we were together
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I didn't do it to get back at my g/f... I was just in the mood and it happened... I don't feel regret over that
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