He hasn't contacted me all day today so should I just leave it and wait for him to contact me
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He hasn't contacted me all day today so should I just leave it and wait for him to contact me
At least let him watch the NBA games and the Olympics. Its Sunday after all.
What do girls do on Sunday, while the guys watch sports?
Well before all this happened we spent every Sunday together! So I should just leave him and wait for him to text?Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
I text him eventually just asking him how he was and how his day was and no reply!! I feel like a fool now
Aw, that's so unnecessary to feel that way. Geez to all young people walk around waiting for a return text? On Sunday? Sports Sunday?
Don't feel foolish, just do something beside worry about him.
You but he always texts me back!could I just ring him to put my mind at easeQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Rang him he out drinking all day he was fairly drunk!
See, all those emotions, and he was just out being a guy. Sometimes you have to give a guy space, and not be so insecure.
You I guess! A friend told me last night that he was out last weekend and was looking very chatty with this girl! She said that they looked very close but nothing happened with them! Should I be insecure about that??Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
No!
OK thanks. I just can't seem to relax I'm just afraid of getting hurt again!Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
What else do you do besides sit and worry about him? I know you must have a life, right? Make yourself busy and active, as he does, and stop worrying about things.Quote:
Originally Posted by chick23
Yes I know I should be doing that but recently I got put on part time at work so I have nothing to do all week only think! All my friends work all day too and I don't have a carQuote:
Originally Posted by kctiger
Volunteer... read... pick up a new hobby... something surely can be utilized to help your idle mind. All this worrying sucks (been there before) and it can drive you insane if you're not careful.
KC is right, you have to have things to do that you enjoy, so you don't just sit and think of him, and what he is doing. We tend to think the worst when we have nothing else to do. To have a healthy relationship, you have to be able to have fun on your own, and not depend on someone else to entertain you, and make you happy all the time, or when you get bored.
OK earlier this evening my sister and my cousin pulled me aside, they had both heard that he was chatting up a thirty year old just divorced trying to get her number at a house party last week! Of course he denied it! I asked him why he doesn't text or want to talk anymore and he said that's what all the fighting did! I said that if he keeps acting like that with me that we will never get back to normal! He started getting all short in his messages and made up an excuse that he had to go play soccer! But a few minutes before that he said he was taking a shower! When I asked why he would take a shower before going playing soccer and he said oh to freshen up! I ended it hoping it was a good move
Please let me know what you think
I think if you have made your decision, then stick to it, but its too soon to advise you on anything given the rest of your thread. This is clear out of the blue.
How do you know if what he is accused of is true or not?
Its not even the fact on wheather if its true or not! He has been accused of being with other people behind my back before! And I gave him the benefit of the doubt but I am hearing too many things about him now! Even if I didn't finish with him I would still be very insecure and paranoid the whole timeQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Then stick to your guns, no regrets.
Im confused, now.
How about talking again. Sounds like everyone's confused.
What's this break about?
Oh, yeah. Got it.
What are you confused about??Quote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
What's the best way to move on from this? Should I change my number so he can't contact me any more
I think for now you do nothing. I had to go back, and review this thread, and there was not a hint of trouble from the past that would lead to your being insecure, or paranoid.
I mean none, so now you leave me very confused as to where this is all coming from.
There is a lot more to this than just a simple break to give each other space, to him being some kind of lying cheater. That's one hell of a stretch in a little more than a week after a 3 year relationship.
Hard to give someone any advice without a lot of facts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
OK about 9 months ago there were rumours that he was sleeping with someone else and he was calling to his ex girlfriends house he denied it all and I gave him the benefit of the doubt! It made me paranoid and insecure but we both got through it at the time! Now that we started having a bit of trouble again there are more rumours making me paranoid and insecure again! I'm not saying for definite that he is a lying cheater because I have no proof that he did it or not but he is puling away from me
I am trying still to figure out how people can know so much about what a guy is doing, that rumors can be taken as fact.
I'm not taking them as fact, I don't know what to believe when my own family are telling me this. But is there a point in being in a relationship where I am insecure!Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Hmm it's a hard one. The whole friends thing can confuse things more. Its like, you both don't want to commit to each other, yet you don't want anyone else to have each other, and you also don't want to lose each other.Quote:
Originally Posted by chick23
In my experience the 'friends' thing only leads to jealousy and a break up of 'friendship' when one of you does find someone new (chances are one of you will! You may not think so hence the 'no other people rule' You are both scared the other will find someone new and you wont). OR you will just sail back into a relationship with the same problems as last time, possibly more. Yet you'll be more afraid to break it off.
I think you both either need to be together. And give it a REALLY. GOOD. GO. Like, discuss everything, communicate, enjoy each others company etc etc. and see how that goes for a few months. OR just cut ties for a few months. Or this will just darg on for longer and get harder. Trust me!
Wel if you read on the situation got more complicated! So I finished it!! I think it for the bestQuote:
Originally Posted by racquel58
sorry! I didn't read it! Will remember to do so next time =o)
Hope you are feeling OK though anyway...
Thanks not feeling great but hope it is the right decision! What you think of the whole situation?Quote:
Originally Posted by racquel58
The thing is are his actions making you insecure? Or your family's feeling toward him that keeps doubts, in your mind is what's doing this? I would certainly get facts before a decision.
If I were in your boyfriends shoes (and innocent), I would have my doubts about you.
What's most evident is a lack of communications and whether your family likes him or not. So whats the problem between them?
While I agree that to many rumors is a red flag, it's the source of those rumors I would look at.
Yes this level of insecurity is not making you a good partner, as the trust issues are enormous it seems.
My family don't have anything major against him they all get on great with him but they just don't like the way he is treating me and don't want me getting hurt! When I confronted him about the rumours and he said they weren't true so I said fine! I didn't argue with him over it or anything. Its not just because of the rumours I finished, it's the way he's acting with me lately he's pushing me away the whole time! He's fine when we together but moody and distant when we not together! So yes his actions are making me feel insecure too!Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Hi chick,
I think you've done the right thing for now.
It seems to me that the trust has been questioned in your relationship which has rocked the foundations.
Even though there is no proof of his infidelity, people are chatting which is causing you to doubt how trustworthy your boyfriend is.
Sometimes you can make the pieces fit even if they are not true, you need to find the source of the rumours and deal with them face on if you want this relationship to work.
Yes it may be painful but at least you will know for sure one way or another.
The trouble with getting things second or third hand is, every time a story is told by whoever a little bit more gets added on, so eventually the original story is nothing like the one you are hearing now.
Ok you have both decided not to see anyone else for a bit, but that doesn't mean that you still can't go out with a group of friends and have a good laugh.
You need to fill your time and not spend too much time dwelling on what may or may not happen.
If it's meant to be, it will be.
Ending it is the right decision, just follow through and cut the drama from here on in.
Yes that does mean cutting all contact, and moving beyond all this.
I need help dealing with this break up! It hurts but I know its d right thing to do
Quote:
Originally Posted by chick23
Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp
What's going on?
Sounds to me like you don't want to be together, nor do you want him to be free.
What's is it you want? Cake?
It may be the best to not have a boyfriend for a while. Figure some things out.
Go NC, stop worrying about what he may be doing and start having some good times without him.
After a break up is just so hard! Feel so depressedQuote:
Originally Posted by vanheart
Just realize that as hard as it is. You are the most important person.
If you start removing any drama and start doing positive things for yourself w/o him, you will understand that this is a lesson.
YOU have to figure out what makes you happy before you get into a relationship.
There's no friend zone here. You said you spend 24/7 together.
Now you have to wean yourself off that.
By having fun, hanging w/friends & family that care, exercising, whatever you would normally do before you met him. And more.
No its not that I don't want him to be free I want us both to get on with our lives! Its just hard! We are not in contact and not friends so I guess it's a start! I have holidays and a sky dive organised with friends to get my mind off things! I have been keeping busy and calling to friends but when I come home at night it all hits me again! I guess its just the big change of being eith him 24/7 and always texting to nothing!
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