No,and sadly that's what some people do.
I guess most of us have been betrayed at one point or another.
We all have to learn to live with it and move on.

It so devastating though I'm hurting over more than one thing

That's why I suggested counciling so that you can talk about everything that's hurting you.

If I went and spoke about everything how would it help?

Just the fact that you sit down and talk with a professional helps.
You'd be able to tell them how you feel and they would advice you how to find coping mechanisms.

Hey 4 months is not enough time. Stay NC and you will make it. I know someone that is in month 7 and having a very difficult time. It happens. Its okay to feel down after a loss. You will get back on your feet soon! Hang in there.

It feels like a long time like I shouldn't be like this anymore and when sh has moved on so quickly how can I think anythingbut what's wrong with me

But there isn't anything wrong with you-you are you-and we are all different.
There are no absolutes.
She also went to uni and started a whole new life.

That's probably one of the reasons she could move on.

But how can I mean nothing to her aftr the time we had together, uni wasn't supposed to be a problem cause we talked about it before

Uni is a whole different world and there's no way of knowing what it's going to be like until you actually get there.

What you need to do now is accept that it's over-yes,it hurts,but your life is still there-your job,your friends and family,your hobbies etc.

But I'm a nice guy I didn'y do anything to her to deserve all this pain, plus all the things I've got are getting affected by what has happened and how I feel

Im sure you are a nice bloke,but when people break up with us we need to not stay stuck in the past but move on.

I know I need to move on but I can't seem to do it, I've tried everything but am going in circles because when ithink I'm OK the next minute I'm a mess, I'm scared to be happy because I know I'm going to expect summat to hurt my when I am because I think about her all the time

Allow yourself to be happy.
Don't worry about the next hour or day.
Got to go work talk later.

If I expect myself to be upset then when do get upset its not a surprise andi think another day of being sad and prbably wakin up again tomor with her on my mind

Try to wake up tomorrow with the thought that you deserve better than being sad and missing the past.

Look forward to a day that could and should be interesting.

A day at work hardly can be classed as interesting, I know I deserve better that this feeling of sadness I get constantly but ornings are probablt the hardest with getting out of bed an all that

Get out of bed-have a shower-a cup of coffee/tea-breakfast and that's your day started.
It works.
Bedtime here.
Good night.

Yeah the mornings can be rough. This is what you must do:
As soon as you get up, take a good long shower and brush your teeth with the radio blasting if possible. This should help your mornings. But it must be done as soon as you wake up. Eat some breakfast and watch TV and then go out and workout or do something.

OK I will try get out of bed as soon as I wake you and shower TV and breakfast etc but it will be an hour or so before I set off to work so can't go to gym or anything

On your days off you hit the gym and you can go after work too. That's what I do.

I can't go when I finish work at 10 at night, not really been a gym person though I prefer outdoor activties

Yea I wasn't a gym person either but trying to be.

I don't really want to do things like that cause it makes me feel like I'm doing it because of someone else

Ok... then take a college course... do something new to keep you entertained! Something that betters you at the same time! Gym, school and outdoor activities. These are all things I am doing. It's hard to push yourself but we can do it!

Well I tried what you suggested this morning and probably hd the worst time thinking about her, justlike I said before when I decide to try e hapy and forget abou her it comes back 10 times worse so what is th point in not expecting he worse all the time

So why not go for a walk before work starts?

A walk will just give me time to reflect on her and what I haven't got anymore won't it

I really need help my girlfriend of a year left me over three months ago and I can't deal with it, I can undersatn how my life can be s good on minute then awful the next, since we broke up I have been so depressed and look around and hate everything about my life she is with someone else now and thisj ust destroys me every morning when I wake up I was good to her and her son and she just ended it like that and I fin ithar to get through theday without breaking at some point, how can I ake myself feel better and be happy when everything looks so glum

Physical exercise will increase your endorphine levels and make you feel better.

You have to make the choice to work to get over her,and help yourself.
Do you really want to be stuck in this situation another couple of months down the road?

No I don't but months ago I decided I didn't want to get botherd and upset by her and tried to move on but haven't been able to do it and I have tried doing a lot of thing that people suggest

Then keep trying.
What we suggest here works.
I know it does-been there-done that.
You have to keep at it and not allow yourself to fall into the black holes
.

It is hard when there are so many things that get me upset about the situation and I can't get her out of my head, I do try things all the time don't know if I'm doing something wrong about it

Can anyone help me with some things that I can do to stop me thinking that my ex was the one I've read up things saying write down all the bad points but I can't think of any and its been a few months is there a website or something that can help? I really need to move on and want to because of th pain I'm in,but I feel I'm doing sometin wrong becaue I'm hurting as bad as the first day we broke up

Can anyone help me with some things that I can do to stop me thinking that my ex was the one I've read up things saying write down all the bad points but I can't think of any and its been a few months is there a website or something that can help? I really need to move on and want to because of th pain I'm in,but I feel I'm doing sometin wrong becaue I'm hurting as bad as the first day we broke up

It takes time to recover from a break up,are you been busy in your life?

There is one startling truth about your break up that maybe you have not quite yet come to terms with... its over... you are 'the one',no one can make you happy,only you,there is no quick fix to a broken heart.

The first thing on your list of why its over should be... 1. she did not want you.

2. she did not want a future with you.

Stop dwelling on the past,look towards your future,set goals for yourself,and remember that she was just not the right person for you.

I can make myself happy but she is always on my mind so I can't help but dwell on the past

Keep occupied doing things for yourself, hanging out with friends etc.

I don't think you stop thinking about them that quick, just get used to dealing with it and eventually it will pass

I know but she moved on quick so why am I stuck like this I hate being where I am I don't want to think about her all the time but I can't meet anyone new while I do

Its not a competition
Its better to wait till your ready so you can have something meaninful rather than a rebound