I don't want to MAKE her talk to me about her problems..
I want her to be more comfortable with me
She talks to my best friend and cries , she talks to him about her problems..
I am really afraid she will dump me for him , and she said he is like a brother to him,

She said she can't talk to me about her problems , and she never cried in front of me
But why?
I want these kind of emotional talks..
I think they can bring us closer..

I just need help..

I want my girlfriend to tell me about her problems... and not to other people
It makes me really angry and jealous that others comfort her and not me :(
What can I do to make her comfortable with me?

Hi, brokenheartls!

How is your relationship going with her over all and how long have you known each other, please?

Thanks!

We are together for 4 months ,
Its all good we really love each other.
She tells me everything about her..
But she never talks about her problems.. family problems
Like fights with her parents and such
She is 16.5 years old
And I'm 18 years old

She tells my best friend and its really bothering me

Has she known your best friend longer than she's known you?

No she only knows him for on week or so

She said I don't listen to her..

But the real thing is that I beg her to talk to me

I always listen when she talks.. I'm not the one that talks a lot
I'm mostly a listener

She doesn't talk to me about her problems and never gets emotional , she never talks to me and cries.. I want to comfort her and make her happy.. but she doesn't talk to me and its really making me unhappy

Do you know why that she says that you don't listen to her?

This is the girl from your other thread? Please read through the advice you ve been given there.

Hmmm...

I'm sorry, amicon! I hadn't explored the other thread yet - usually do that. But, this seemed to be an isolated type of question here just having to do with communication.

Thanks!

I don't want to say you were a rebound.. but that idea is there. This is dangerous territory. How long after her ex did you start dating? This she have enough time to heal and grieve ?
I want to say the following... if she can't decide between you and him and if she loves you both, something is wrong. I do not believe in that sort of thing. You cannot love two people equally, like you cannot like two types of food equally.
The hell with her, she is leaving you hanging. Run forest Run... she doesn't know what she want, so show her what she lost

I'm better than her ex in every way
Its just I'm different religion
She doesn't want to be with someone that the chances of a future with him are low , yet , she doesn't want to dump someone she truly loved...
Her ex doesn't love her like I do..
I treat her like the last girl on earth, and that's why she can't decide
Her ex and her have the same religion...
I hope some can help her decide

I told her that there is a future..
And that the only thing in life the is sure to happen is death..
She said she will think about it.
And here I am waiting

She said that because she didn't even try talking to me..

She said she is scared that I will dump her if I know about her family problems..
But I told her its O.k
But still she won't tell me..
So I gave her a solution , I told her to start telling me first using
Instant messengers
Then on the phone
And eventually face to face..
And she said OK.

Its communication skills and a little psychology here. I was this type of person, and to make me talk about my problems is to talk about your problems and smartly relate it to mind, have to be smart. Its hard sometimes... this is a hard question, but the best you can do is to confess to her and take things slowly and smartly.

I think she is just scared
She thinks I'll bale on her if I hear about her problems because her other ex's refused to talk about this kind of problems and were offended..
But I'll be the happiest man alive if I can make my g.f happy , I will never bale on her
But she just doesn't believe me on this subject..
I want her to believe me..

It's not unusual for someone in a close relationship with another to want to only seek out the happy things about which to talk and enjoy rather than have sad or bad issues that might only be the problem of one of the parties in the relationship, "cloud" the relationship in some way by those things being a part of the relationship.

Oftentimes, the person who is having personal problems or issues will seek out someone to speak with about them with whom they're not all that personally involved.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by brokenheartls

i think she is just scared
she thinks i'll bale on her if i hear about her problems because her other ex's refused to talk about this kind of problems and were offended..
but i'll be the happiest man alive if i can make my g.f happy , i will never bale on her
but she just doesn't believe me on this subject..
i want her to believe me..

---

I think that you can make her happy just by being there for her, if she needs you to be, and requests your involvement, and being the person with whom she can have a good time without having the burden of other issues that might be unpleasant having an influence on the good times that the two of you can have together.

I'm just confused..
I talk to her about everything
My problems with my parents , about my job , etc..
She talks about everything besides our problems
She told me I don't talk about my problems because I don't want to face my problems...
And she doesn't talk to me about her problems at home

I hope it will change soon , because she is starting to like my best friend and that's very bad in my opinion

I've already addressed why she might not talk about her problems that she has. Did you read what I wrote, please?

Thanks!

So not only has she still feelings of some kind for her ex-now into the mix you re adding: she might be starting to like your friend?
Don't you think a really serious talk about where this is going is in order?

Are we going around in circles here, amicon?

Now, the communication thing seems to be on the edge of going into something deeper...

And, would seem to be getting into the aspects of the other thread.

Thanks!

:-).yes circles is right-I don't know if the threads need merging or not- I feel like I'm peeling an onion!
Still can't rep you!

I was hoping that the issue on this thread would just be about communication. The threads might not need to be merged, but we'll just have to see what develops here.

Thanks!

Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

Your girlfriend has been confused for a while now with many different issues.

What you can do is let her know that you're there for her. If she does confide in you, make sure you're just listening to her problems and not trying to help her solve her issues.

Sounds like she just needs a little space to figure things out first before you push the issue of wanting to be her shoulder to cry on. In other words, if she can't stay committed in this relationship without thinking about other guys, then you won't have a relationship to talk about.

Well...
She finally talked to me and said she feels much better..
She said she loves me a lot like every 5 minuets, I really felt that conversation we had brought us closer..
But still she said she wants some time alone and I said OK
But she also said that she wants me to listen to her when she has problems , and that good right ? Because I don't want to be that gay friend that helps girls.. I want to be the understanding boyfriend

You are NOT HER BOYFRIEND!

You ARE not acting like a REAL MAN!

You are letting her USE YOU!

You are getting PLAYED... HARD!

You are being her toy, and she can take you out and use you whenever she wants or needs it.

You are INDEED being the statement above, you made about helping the girls.

Bad move!

Sorry buddy. Everyone on this thread gave you BEAUTIFUL advise, but you don't want to listen.

Im done here. =) Good Luck.


P.S. You will realize in the end, you shouldof listened from the beginning.

OH YES!! Preach it my brother Supernnnnnn!

Couldn't agree with you more.

She told me she needs some space , she also said that there is a chance we get back together , but only if my best friend helps..
But he is almost 99% busy
And that's a problem..
Now we are talking about our problems by our self
And looks like everything is going good..

Yeah... keep doing that.


(Banging your head on the wall.)

I'm not a relationship pro..
But when someone tells me there is a chance , then I should try
I will not talk to her tomorrow.. and not answer her calls..
I tell you what will happen

Use some time taking care of yourself just relax for a while and leave the drama be so you can clear your head.

You already tried by telling her that you still want to continue this relationship.

Now that she knows how you feel, the ball is on her side of the court. It's her move next. Let her figure out what she wants first. Once she figures it out, she will look for you. You don't need to put anymore pressure on her. Just leave her alone and focus on yourself.

I haven't talk to her or call or , she will come back from school like another 3 hours.. I won't call her when she gets back, and I'll tell you what will happen

She broke up because we are different religion..
I'm going to speak with her tomorrow

I'm 18 years old , and my g.f is almost 17
We've been together for 4 months
Anyway..
She talked to her mother about me
And her mother told her what type of a guy she wants
Well.. I'm everything she wants except I'm not Muslim I'm a Christian

And she said it's a big problem...

So my g.f dumped me although in the beginning she said she didn't care that we have different religion views..

Help what can I do to make her believe me that everything will be o.k and that we could have a future together please I need help fast

She is going to talk to a friend of mine tomorrow , she said that she doesn't want to see me
Because when she sees me she will want me back
But I'm coming any way I need to talk to her , and my friend is going to help

Depending on the state you are in 17 will get you 20. May not want to pursue this till you are both of legal age.

Muslim faith is very strict on no interfaith relationships. You could convert. But a recent case had a father drive over his daughter over his same issue.

IF it is meant to be it will be. Let your faith guide you.

And if I don't believe in faith ?
I need to get her back

You sound desperate because you keep posting in the hopes that someone will tell you what you want to hear. What you want to hear is that you need to do A then B, skip C, think about D, then do E, maybe back to C then D again and she will come galloping back to you on a unicorn that shoots rainbows out of it's horn.

The thing is that there is nothing, and I mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do except let her go and think and do whatever it is that she needs to do in order to sort HER life out. YOU may need her in YOUR life, but sadly, the converse is not true for her. She's wondering if she needs you at all so you need to let her wonder. While she's doing this all you can do is step back, give her space and work on your life because as it stands now you are all you have left.

You need to tell her that you can't help her if she can't help herself in deciding who she needs to be with. If she comes out and tells you that I thought we were good friends, then you know what her true feelings about you is. If she loves her ex, you can't do anything about that. She can't have the cake and eat it, too. It sounds like she wants to keep you on the side because you let her keep you on the side.

But the reason the dumped me is because I'm a christian

Isn't there a way to convince her that there is a future with me ?
I know we already broke up , but if there is a way please tell me

The bad part is she is starting seeing my best friend a lot , he is a christian too , but really.. she talks to him more than me when we were together

Smell that..

Desperation. Not a good thing.