Well everyone I finally did it. I decided to contact him, whether it was a smart or dumb move I don't know. But it was something I felt I had to do. I found out that he broke up with his girlfriend, so I decided that was probably going to be my best opportunity to say hello.
I'm sure now that I don't want to be his girl anymore, just his friend. There is this part of me that cares very much for his wellbeing, to make sure that he is OK, and would like to be in his life again, in a small way.
So I sent him a short, nice email. I felt I couldn't move on with my life until I did. All the email said was basically Hi how are you doing. I asked him about his family and said I'd love to hear from him. That's it. Nothing about our past, or how much I care. Short and simple. I sent it yesterday, I can tell he has read it, but he has not responded.
Now I find myself feeling very very depressed, embarrassed, and angry because I figure he at least owes me a "hello" if nothing else. I half expected him not to say anything back, telling myself there would be a 50/50 chance, and then I told myself that if he didn't respond, then that would be my closure. But the more the hours tick away since I sent it, the more hurt I feel that he won't say hello. I figure he owes me that much.
