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How about blocking her and deleting her? That way you'll still have access to Facebook without her. This is the point of NC, delete them from everything, msn, Facebook, myspace. Secondly don't force yourself to talk to girls yet. Flirt a little but if you don't want to talk to them, just don't talk to them.
I did delete her though :S and it still shows her comments on other people's stuff. Maybe I didn't block her properly.. I'll go check that.
EDIT: yeah, I did it. And it seems as though I don't see her stuff anymore, Hopefully it worked this time
Well there you go. Now you can start proper NC since you can't see her. I guess you know what to do now: sport, go out...
Ya, thank you all for your help. I've already found loads to do (gym, band, work, etc) and I can do the NC as long as I don't bump into her at school, and the odds of that happening are close to none.
Threads merged
OK, so I've been trying to do the NC, I had used to send my ex (we dated for over 2 years) texts all the time but decided to stop. A week later, she replies to one of my texts which besides the fact of being odd, got me talking again. I don't know why I can't keep to the NC.
I've read the threads about it, but I still cnt say: "KILLER IGNORE HER"/
Helppp mee!
No one can help you do it. We can just tell you why it's what you need to do.
Delete her number and any contact you have with her..
Every time you go back,start again.
No contact is about you healing,and getting perspective...
You won't get over her if you keep contacting her...
Make a plan.. the next time you feel the urge to contact her or she contacts you,phone a friend instead,or phone for a pizza!
Log on to AMHD,there's always someone here to lend an ear and give support.
So your backsliding,and you know it... and now you have a tool to deal with the next time you need an ex fix.
It's quite common , what it does so early in the breakup is give you what you perceive as hope that you may be able to get them back. BUT it's False hope and when you finally realise that and are sick of the suffering NC becomes easier.
Igore the texts, as long as you keep answering she is in control
As time goes on, it will get easier and easier to ignore her.
But until then, I know it's tough, but it's all about will power. Stay busy as much as possible. Try to hang out with friends and family as much as possible too. Devote your time elsewhere, instead of thinking about her.
Did you see the list of things to do after a breakup? https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html
Hey,
Again, I fall into the trap of breaking the NC rule. This girl is a piece of work and I don't miss her in a sense of wanting her back, but I still think about her and it keeps getting worse (as in thinking more about her). Yesterday, she sent me a text message telling me that she has some new guy which was beyond unnecessary. I should have not answered, but I did, I told her I didn't care and told her off and stopped answering. The next day, I get a text from her number, claiming its this guy. He then goes off insulting me; both my personality and my physical build. Although I'm not even 100% convinced that he exists, it was not helpful at all.
So now, All I can think of is her and this guy and what not. And to make it worse, I all of a sudden started to bump into her multiple times every day at school.
I now feel sad more often, although I spent the past couple weeks improving my life. It's really affecting me emotionally and even physically.
What should I do?
Threads merged again
Please keep all the questions regarding your issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.
Did you try reading the stickies?
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html
You need to stay as occupied as possible. Keep your mind distracted.
You after I posted I realized.. sorry about thatQuote:
Originally Posted by I wish
And yes, I have read them. Multiple times. But it still isn't helping.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's really tough. You just need to be patient with yourself. With time, it will get easier.
Others have similar stories on breaking the NC rules all the time. Here's mine: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...re-319894.html
No contact is really tough in the beginning and it could get tougher and tougher at first, but it will get easier with time. But you really have to stick with the rules. If you break the rules, you will reset your progress and only prolong the pain and suffering.
Talking to girls is A LOT of fun! You get rejected at times, but all you really have to do is just laugh it off. Girls love a guy who can laugh at himself for doing something foolish and they love even more a guy who is confident and overall happy! Be that happy guy that has no problems in his life, but also be the guy that can be serious if someone needs you. It's all about emotions. Eventually, you will find the right girl.
So, some developments have been made since my last posts.
During one of the many breaks that my ex and I had taken, I had reconnected with a girl I knew from elementary school and although we only hung out once, we talked a lot and I grew quite fond of her. Anyway, yesterday we bumped into each other at college for the first time, well the first time I have seen her in almost half a year. We seemed to connect very well, and although she had to leave, she texted me later and then we talked online that night. Then today she texted me again. I don't know EXACTLY how she feels about me, but I'd like to see her more and maybe make something of it. After yesterday, I've been in a good mood.
How do I figure out how she feels about me and where should I take this situation from here?
Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
Stop right there. This is another one of your many breaks from your ex girlfriend, but the only difference is, you've met someone you're interested in. Before you start to build another relationship with someone else, make sure the one you've been having problems with is gone for good.
It seems to me that you're still involved with your ex and this girl will be a rebound or tag along in your life. This isn't fair to her, do not get involved with this one.
Well, I left my ex almost 2 months ago. I've barely spoken to her since and the only problem is occasionally "missing" her.. or the idea of her.Quote:
Originally Posted by ajGambino
Ask her out. Don't go into the date with the expectation she will become your girlfriend. Rather, go to have fun and get to know her better. You might have to date a few girls before one clicks, but this has promising beginnings.
Ya, that was the thing. When I bumped into her, we sat there for like 45 minutes and I felt very comfortable and enjoyed myself. Normally I'm very shy around girls but I wasn't at all. But yeah, maybe I'll ask her out.. now to do what? Hmm.
It sounds like you know her to some extent already. What types of things does she like to do? It also depends on what you can afford - not so easy when you are a student, sometimes. The thing is when a girl likes a guy they don't care what the date is as long as it's a chance to spend time with him. Personally, I liked dates where we could talk and laugh and have fun, often sports related. It really depends on what the two of you like. You could just go get something to eat. Don't make it elaborate. Make it fun.
Doesn't matter how long it's been , the issue is are you Totally over her??Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
If not then don't get someone else involved just to give yourself a little fix , that's not fair on her. Even though you may feel that you are actually attracted to this other girl it could just be your after a self esteem boost.
Just get over the Ex first , it'll work out so much better for you in the long run.
Quote:
Originally Posted by killerinstinct
Red flag.
I believe your new friend is going to get hurt.
Yeah. But its gotten a lot better in the last couple weeks.Quote:
Originally Posted by ajGambino
I agree wit the guys on this... its too soon and you are not over your ex totally enough for you to get involved in another relationship.
Best thing to do now is to be friends with this new girl, hang out, have fun, but don't jump into a relationship with her until you are 100% sure you are totally over your ex. Only you know when that is.
Also, just a little piece of advice, its never "Out with the old, in with the new" in relationships. Get have something real and long-lasting, you must lose that kind of thinking...
1. no not totally.Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
2. I don't think so, I actually really like who she is.
3. yea probably, I don't want to hurt the new girl, even if not intentionally
Sure and that's great , I wasn't actually trying to infer you were using her or anything like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
Hey just be patient and it'll work out as long as you don't rush into anything.
Good Luck buddy :)
That's cool... All good... just take your time and see how it goes... once you are totally over your ex, you will be free to give your heart to whoever you choose... and they will be lucky because they won't have to share even a tiny fraction of you with your ex.
All the best :)
I've known this girl for 5 years. We've always been friendly. 2 months ago, we started talking more and spending more time together. I have developed feelings for her, and I want to get more intimate with her but I don't know how she feels about me. What should I do?
~Killer
Ask her out to dinner and to a movie. Unless you have done that already. Does she feel the same way towards you elaborate more.
I have no idea how she feels towards me to be honest. She'll compliment my looks, etc. but then will talk to her friends about so and so hot guy while I'm there. I'm not sure if she is confused, or just is like that with all guys, but from what I've seen, she isn't so I don't know.Quote:
Originally Posted by sully123
Sounds to me she is considering you as a friend for now. If you want to pursue this further than just ask for a night out with just the two of you, start from there. Or just flat out and ask her how she feels about you.
Tell her how you feel and see what she says. You won't know how she feels until you ask.
Well, yes I could tell her. But what do I do if she doesn't feel the same? Wouldn't that make things weird?Quote:
Originally Posted by I wish
Just have a conversation about people in the friend zone.
Discuss with her what she thinks about people who are friends,can they ever be more?
Is it better to be friends first in a relationship?
Get her feedback on the issue,just having a casual conversation.
Or if you want to know where you stand specifically ask her.
Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet,take a deep breath and Go for it!
If she doesn't feel the same way, then you find someone else.Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
It will only be weird if both of you allow it to be weird. If she rejects you, you will definitely need some time apart to recover. Otherwise you will just continue to over-analyze everything she says and have false hope.
Once you've recovered, and if you were meant to be friends, it will happen naturally. Otherwise, a friendship wasn't going to work out anyway, because right now you're just talking to her more because you are interested in her.
Not necessarily.Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
I have told male friends before that I am not interested in anything but friendship and we moved on and stayed good friends.
It depends on how mature you both are whether it is weird or not.
I'd hope to stay good friends.Quote:
Originally Posted by artlady
And yeah, I need to just "bite the bullet". But for whatever reason, I just can't pick up the phone and ask her out. I don't know why it's so hard for me. Its like I'm expecting some girl to all of a sudden show a great deal of interest in me, enough that I can just know they "want me" to make a move. I don't know how to come out of my shell and pursue someone I'm really interested in.
If people always stayed in their comfort zones,fearing possible rejection... nothing would get done in this life!Quote:
Originally Posted by KillerInstinct
Who knows,she could be having the same doubts as you?
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