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It sucks doesn't it! Feeling like you're not a priority! I suggest you stick with no contact too. If these guys broke up with us we shouldn't chase them. If they do call us than we can talk. Maybe later on they will regret it because being so busy leaves you with no life. I would think they would get lonely right? But for now we have to move on! Its hard but we have to. And maybe later on they will come crawling back but maybe not. Good luck too!
You aren't a priority, that's the point. The whole reason people break up is because they no longer want to be together.Quote:
Originally Posted by natalie25
He broke up with you because it wasn't working for him. To continue contact with you isn't necessary, you're the past, he has a future that he's trying to plan.
Chasing a guy that dumped you is a lost cause. If he does call I wouldn't answer. Are you that desperate? Do you really want a guy that doesn't want you?
No contact. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it hurts, but no contact is the way to go.
If he does crawl back, which isn't likely, would you want him? He doesn't want you. If he does crawl back it will be because he's lonely, you're familiar, you know what he likes. Those who do crawl back usually end up running away again.
You're no longer his concern, nor should he be yours.
Yes we have feelings, and as hurt and disappointed as you are its for the best he leaves you alone. Instead of stringing you along he broke up with you as he isn't prepared to be distracted by you. That simple, and have you never had to leave a guy alone because you weren't as interested as he was? If you have, then you can understand where he is coming from.
Time to move beyond this, and do your own thing, as he has obviously done.
After dating my boyfriend for 6 months. Who is older I had a very happy life. I was content with a more laid back life and not so big on partying. Now its been two weeks since we broke up. He's just to busy in his life with school and work. Which is very heart breaking for me. Its hard for me to be happy on the weekends because I liked my life the way it was before. I'm sick of being surrounded by young parties. And most of my friends like to party and stuff but I feel more mature then hanging with younger immature people. Its hard because its either go out with them or sit at home. I don't know what is better. I miss my life the way it was. Any advice on what I should do? Has this happened to anyone??
Well, I can tell you this that this has happened to many people before. I would advice to to keep busy by learning a new skill or picking up a new hobby. It will take a while to get used to this different lifestyle. A lifestyle where you do not have your significant other by your side at all times. Read through some of the stickies at the top of the page and see if they help you out at all. Keep us updated on how you feel.
Also, I am assuming that you are still in school since your partner is in school. Try to join a new club or go to a campus event. You can meet new people there and socialize. Hang out with your friends. I hope this helps a little.
Take a class that has some older people in it. I mean a class after school. Maybe learn a second language, or how to play an instrument.
Just try to keep your time and schedule full.
Love will give us our highest highs, and lowest lows. You're just having a low point. It will get better, and you will look back on this and think, "wow, what a watse of time he was ".
I wish you the best of luck.
I try doing sum extra activities, maybe volunteering/joining up a club at school. Maybe spend more time with family. Do things to keep yourself occupied and at the same time productive and fun. You'll realize as your doing these things some traits about yourself that can make you a very very independent young lady. As if you are not already now haha =]
Hope u feel better.
Natalie, please keep all of your questions in the same thread. It makes it easier for you (no need to go into the full story every time) and us (we can keep up with your story and what's going on). It also keeps your threads from having to be merged.
Continuing education classes, volunteer work, etc. are just a few ways to get involved with more mature (thinking-not necessarily age-wise) people.
Give yourself time. Time to heal. Time to make new friends. Time to find yourself.
Ok so I'm sure you all remember me maybe.. My and my boyfriend broke up about 5 weeks ago. We haven't talked much since. I called him awhile ago to try and get him back but it didn't work. Then I realized I had to move on so I finally deleted him from my Facebook. I guess he didn't like that because a day later he texts me and messages me, are we not friends now? I said yes we are. Haha. But anyway the day after that I get a text real late at night that said, I love you but I just don't know what to do. First of all the whole time we were dating he never told me he loved me. So I think its funny that night he got drunk and said he did. Does truth come out when people are drunk? Maybe he's embarrassed now for doing that because we haven't talked today. But maybe he's realizing I'm moving on and he wants me back? It just really shocked me that he said that. Can anyone give me some advice on what to do?? Thanks!
Ignore him. If you want to heal from the breakup don't stay in touch-and don't let his text confuse you.
Threads merged again
Ignore him otherwise you can't heal. Otherwise, you will just keep suffering. Change your number if you have to.
It usually makes it easier for the drunk person to say what he/she thinks the other person wants to hear.Quote:
Originally Posted by natalie25
I think you need to see it as a ploy to get you to do what he wants. It sounds like he doesn't like the fact that you are working on getting over him. Unfortunately for him, his wants and desires are not your concern.
You have a life to live that doesn't include waiting around for him to decide what you are doing.
Good luck in the future with No Contact. Give yourself time and resources to heal.
Generally speaking people tell the truth when drunk. They lose their inhabitions as they say and it's like truth serum. However, it doesn't mean that he wants to be back with you. It means he has feelings. You could as him what the problem is and start by talking it out. If he is unable to talk to you about while sober, you may want to consider moving on.
Just ignore all his texts, emails calls IM's whatever else... apply no contact and see what his true intentions are.
Most likely he has a new girl and wants to make sure its going to work out with her before he gets rid of you completely. Make him miss you and disappear off the face of the earth starting right now!
Thanks guys! Well I called him two weeks ago and that was the only time I contacted him. But when I deleted him I think that triggered it maybe for him? Do you think he is embarrassed for saying that? And doesn't know what to say? I didn't want to ask and I'm not going to bug him because like you said disappear. I want to make him chase me right.
Yea he is embarrassed most likely because he knows he probably shouldn't have said that. Yea you definitely want to make him chase you and if he doesn't then he doesn't care anymore
You don't want to play games. If you really want answers to your questions... ask... the only person that can tell you the truth his him.
I would ask him.. but I figure if I don't get the answer I want ill be hurt more. It hurts he said that already when he was drunk and I don't know why. But I would rather leave him alone. And I'm already moving on. If he doesn't say anything later than I know. Its just so confusing cause to say that is so not like him. Stupid games.
Well, when u are drunk u think u love a guy u met just 1 hour ago.
Don't do anything, don' think too much.
If he feels something he will come or call.
You're doing the right thing... if you ask him he'll just tell you some vague answer and it will likely lead to more confusion. Also if you ask him he'll just lead you by a string likely and will play with you more because then he'll know you're there for him.
You so for now I'm moving on trying... but like they say love takes time. If I felt it was real.. do you think time away a couple months will or could work out later? I'm not dwelling on it lol just curious what you guys think
Possibly... if he loves you he'll come back... if he doesn't then its over but Don't sit around waiting for him- get on with your life and when you're ready try meering someone new
I know thank you I'm trying not to wait. I mean I'm not! But I tried so hard to move on. Deleting his Facebook was the last step. And then when he sends texts like that it throws me back off! So annoying! I just want to escape or for him to make up his mind or leave me alone.
I went through the same thing a few months ago so take it from someone who's been through it already- just hang in there and try to enjoy life
Thank you I appreciate it. I seem to have no one to talk to anymore. My friends and family are getting sick of me :(
Come back here and vent when you need to.
And maybe change that phone number?:-)
Thank you. But one more thing. Some people say I should call or text and ask why he said that. But I've already tried to get him back once. I feel like ill just get let down again. If he wanted to be with me shouldn't he contact me?
Yes and he s not knocking on your door begging you to take him back is he? Protect your heart and ignore him.
Just listen to my advice- Don't EVER TALK TO HIM AGAIN... dont respond to any texts, emails, IM'S Facebook nothing... move on, move onQuote:
Originally Posted by natalie25
I think everyone is right and to just move on. Why did he tell you this drunk? Maybe taking him off your Facebook hit a nerve with him because he thought you would be pining over him longer. Its possible he doesn't like the idea of you moving on and his feelings are mixed since the break up is still new. I would just let it be. Alcohol was involved in his choice to tell you he loved you. When I have drinks I love everyone. I am sure he has feelings for you but he made a bad choice in the way to show you. Keep doing what your doing and move forward with you life.
I don't think people necessarily tell the truth when drunk. I think nobody likes being rejected and he feels bad that you appear to have moved on. He may think that the pain he's feeling means he loves you, but it doesn't. I doubt he really knows whether he loves you or not. I think if he was really in love, he would have told you before the break up.
You do NOT want him to chase you. You want him to move on with his own life.
DON'T ask him anything. It will only lead to trouble and you will end up feeling bad either way.
This one is closest to the truth, I think:
Quote:
Or is he just trying to keep me hanging around until he figures out what he wants?
If someone loves u he will find a way to talk to you,but not to send text message once and than keep silence.Quote:
Originally Posted by natalie25
Threads merged again
Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story and give you appropriate advice.
I suggest you follow the no contact rules:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-332732.html
And fight any urges that you have to talk to him:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-351302.html
Any communication with him, whether he contacts you or vice versa will only add to the confusion and prolong the misery.
Block him out of your life until you've completely healed from this breakup. Once you've healed, you will be in a better position to revisit the situation because you will be more objective about the situation.
So we've been broken up for two months now. Its been a couple weeks since his I love you drunk text. Than a week ago he told my happy birthday and tried to talk to me. I did respond... Than thanksgiving he text my saying happy thanksgiving. I decided to not respond. Than two days later late at night I get a drunk text.. im sure he was drunk.. saying I miss you. And this time I didn't answer again. He hasn't said anything since. Why is he texting me? He's the one whowanted to break up. I know me not answering will help me heal. But will it scare him and maybe make him want to be with me? In some way I hope it does. Because I do still miss him. But I've decided to do the NC after 2 months. Which I should have done along time ago. So maybe it will freak him out? I just don't get men! Why does he keep bothering me, its like he's trying to keep me hanging around! Any adviceeee please?!
He might miss you, but has anything changed? So things will end up just as before. Accept the messages for what they are, meaningless.
He's contacting you because he feels guilty for breaking up with you. You took it hard, he felt bad, now he thinks that he has to make amends some how. He also doesn't want you to hate him. No one does.Quote:
Originally Posted by natalie25
Will he come back? I doubt it. If you're ignoring him simply to make that happen then you're never going to heal and move on.
No Contact is a way of getting over a person, not a way to win them back.
Stick to NC and get on with your life. I guarantee he's getting on with his.
All it is... is words... it doesn't change anything... I'm going through a breakup now and I been in NC for a month and I slip up a few days ago and trust me, every time u slip up.. you fall back in your healing process.. trying to figure out what everything means. It best to change your number and stop the pain before it comes. Coming from a guy and bunch of us here... if I want you to know I love you, I'm pretty sure I'm going to try harder then a text message.
Thanks for the advice guys
Good answer fear. I am glad to see your understanding the no contact and can now support others.Quote:
Originally Posted by fearxfear
The sad truth is, having vastly different schedules can be a major impediment to romance.
Relationships take two things - time and effort. Some people really don't have the time to make the effort and understand that it's better to avoid the whole mess at this point in their life instead of getting into something with someone knowing that it's only going to end in heartbreak for both parties.
Don't put your life on hold for him. Move on with your life. Go out with friends, date, and have fun while you're young. :)
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