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Best way I can think of it would be to advertise in the local newspapers, maybe in the social or community section, about looking for people who play certain instruments, looking to form a band. You may get some replies from there. If not, there is always advertising in a local music shop if there is one near you.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Bud wait for her to come you I got dumped like that twice by the same person and wait for your ex to come back but don't go back with her. I'm a girl and a guy dumped me for a deaf girl -_- then we dated again and he dumped me for this ugly girl but don't do that to yourself it will make it hurt worse. Trust me lol
Wait for her (I assume she cheated or left you for another guy)
To write you.That way you will maintain your sense of self respect,and the ball is in your court.Then again,you could just ignore her text (if she ever does),I think that would make her even more frantic.
Man, if you want to join a band just post on Craigslist. There are tons of people looking for musicians :D
I´m screwed cause Im a musician myself, and I make a living on it... so for me that's not an option... and if I consider taking some lessons or joining a pet shelter, that would take too much time for me since I am freelance and I have to be "selling" myself at all times of the day (which sucks, yes). So since you can do it.. go for it! I´m myself just reading books and keeping myself busy with what I like, but sometimes it gets really lonely... when that happens, I just put Californication, Weeds, or whatever on the computer, and forget about verything. That works for me.
As to meeting new people... I thought about dating sites.. but I feel myself a bit retarded for doing that. I know I shouldn´t.. but I never had problem meeting new people... I´m just usually too busy to do it, so a lot of the time I feel lonely... maybe that helps for you. If I had a normal 9 to 5 job I would totally join a team, or go to some classes... that would be awesome, so go for it! :D
What do you guys think about the dating sites? Would that help somebody like none12345 or like me? (we are on the same boat, although Im now over the phase of trying to contact my ex at all... I now just don't give a crap what she does).
In fact I'm thinking of freelancing music. Wrote a couple of songs. Anywords of advice on where to go from here? I had my first bar gig the other day but it was a quiet bar with only a couple of people too drunk to listen. LolQuote:
Originally Posted by chetatkinsLA
Dating sites? Personally I've tried that. Im 19 and I found that its usually for people older than me looking for people their age.
Eh, I'm working on my novel, working out, working on the music and work from 8-5 I might find myself too busy to date. I just might lay back on that for a while. =P
Well I agree... I always say that the best times in my life are when I am single. When I get a girl... I start spending a lot of money, not seeing my friends that much, depending on someone... you know. So I guess its best for us both to just stay like that for a while. I have always been OK with being single.. its just this time (im 26) that Im feeling a bit old and Im kind of starting to want somebody in my life. Maybe Im growing up... dunno! Haha!
So yeah, being 26 I thought of the dating sites, cause of course, when I was 22 I didn't bother! But now.. I don't have time, and I kind of want to have a lovey dovey in my life... I thought the dating stuff would work.. but... I hear those websites are scams most of the time... and that you usually don't get nothing out of it, so Im a bit reluctant... they are pretty expensive also... they take advantage of you!
Are you singer songwriteR? I mean.. do you sing and play guitar or piano? If so... I would encourage you to play wiith more people. A singer with a guitar usually attracts old people or drunks (I´ve been there, haha), but a BAND attracts young and sexy girls (been there too, actually Im still there, haha)... so just go to Craigslist and put up an ad. Jam with drummers and bass players and get your songs together, and start playing better venues (not bar & grills haha). If you succeed send me a demo.. I might produce your first album someday ;) ha ha!
Leave your novel aside and write good songs... write about your ex... thats the money maker right there ha ha :D Use all this crappy ex bull for something productive. I know I have done so... I have made a couple of songs that are on the lists right now and soon I´ll be making money thanks to my ex :D ha ha! I´m going to love her again when that happens :p
lol! Well if you must know, I have a couple of friends who met their true love on a dating site called lavalife. They are so in love now, so it does work trust me. =PQuote:
Originally Posted by chetatkinsLA
Ya I'm a singer songwriter. I wrote a few songs with my guitar but it does sound kind of dull being just acoustic. Actually grew up in a musical family. Im considering on writing a song on the piano too. Its actually really hard without a band though.
I ll post up some ads to maybe starting a band. If you ever start a label company, I'll send some demos to yah =P I wouldn't mind attracting young sexy girls but I'm kind of looking for love not girly fans XD
Haha imagine if my ex hears a song about her on the radio. Her expression would be priceless and her friends would be like isn't that the guy you left to be with someone else? Lol It would be nice to make some money off her XD
Now that'd be fun noney , hope it happens for you pal :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
lol thanks M =PQuote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
I did promotions for a local poetry promotions gig for a few years before I moved. We went all over the place, art fairs, museums,(we got kicked out once because we don't do censored and they didn't tell us it was a censored reading we were invited to, awesome story) we did coffee shops, any number of events, and of course, the awesome local bar's with the super drunk poets <--. Look into some promotions or advocacy group that is all about the art, trust me they will have a mantra about it, and you will meet some super interesting people who will be anything but boring.
Hey guys it's been a while since I talked to my ex and I missed her so much. Thought I was getting better but I've been thinking a lot about her. Every where I go reminds me of a romantic moment with her. It's hard to believe how things got this way. Don't get me wrong after a near death experience recently, Ive started to see life as something so beautiful but I feel like something is missing. All that I'm after is a life full of laughter.
Starting to think nc is childish. Should I go after her? It's clear I still love her and not over her. One shot at life right? She left me for another guy and didn't bother contacting me all this time. What to do? Some words of wisdom needed. Thanks.
Go back to Page 1 and read again , c'mon noney you know it won't do you any good right??
Head up Pal it'll get better believe me :)
It's just so hard. Came a long way I can see. Really loved this girl with my whole heart. My first love. I find myself crying sometimesnot sure if it's tears of joy or sadness. I've completely accepted it's over, it's just living without her is a big change.
It's not easy I know , if it was this Forum would probably not even be here LOL ;)
You just got to hang tough mate and one day you'll look back and laugh at how you pined over someone who really wasn't worth it.
One life. One shot. If you believe you're tough and ready to walk into the warzone. I believe you should quit NC, go back to her in a fresh manner, show her the side of you she has never seen, be her friend and who knows maybe some day she'll come back. Sometimes maybe its not all about loving and being with that person. Maybe its just loving and proving yourself that you can love them even when they're with somebody. I think you still have a chance as long as the ring isn't on her finger and she isn't carrying no baby.
Words of Wisdom... (accompanied by flutes and breathy new age music )...Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
You don't need to have someone special in your life to experience, love, joy and laughter.
It is not possible to go back and experience what you have had, no matter how powerfully you may crave it.
Whilst you continue to crave what you had in the past, believing that that was the pinnacle of happiness, you deny yourself the opportunity in the present to move forward and find new happiness.
Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination - it is not necessary to find love to find happiness and laughter.
... (music reaches crescendo and quietly fades away)...
Buddy, it's like this...
If you go back and chase her, with hopes she will see a different you, it won't happen. You will be trying too hard to win her back, while someone else has her heart. It will tear you to pieces. Forming a friendship with ulterior motives is not the way to go and is a fast track to more pain.
She is with someone else, so all of that energy she put into the relationship with you is now focused on her new BF.
It is best to make a fresh start at new life, rather keep dwelling in the past. I think you originally started NC with the notion that is was a tool to win her back. It's not, although you are not the only person who thought this way... I did too at one point. NC is not easy, but it is the only way to let go.
She is not the only woman out there for you. Sure, it may feel like she was because she was your first. Ask any man or woman (especially married ones) and see how many of them are with, or married their first love. I can guarantee that over 90% of them are not with their first loves.
It's just the way life happens. Life and love are never meant to be easy or painless. We all have to experience pain and hardship to realize what we truly have now!
Give yourself more time bro! It's only been a a few months! My ex and I have been broken-up for close to 10 months and I still think about her all the time. She was my first, but I know that she will not be my only.
Have you ever read my thread, it is probably very similar to your situation.
Don't chase her, she has someone else for that. Spend your time making yourself better for your next GF. Notice I said NEXT, because there will be someone else who comes along!
It will pass, just get busy.
Thanks for the encouragement guys.
I've been listening to a few songs that is kind of persuading me to go chase after her even though my head tells me it's a bad idea.
Time to change the music.dont set yourself up to be miserable.
Yes change your music line up. Songs that get you thinking about the ex are the worst. The best songs are the ones that pump you up and have lyrics that make you take them off the pedestal.
So Happy --Theory of a Deadman
Beautiful -- 10 Years (this one sound deceiving, but you have to listen to the words)
Runnin' Wild -- Airborne (one of my favs very AC/DC like)
Stay away from country... I've been incorporating more country music in to my music portfolio. I'm very selective though... a lot of songs that are out get me thinking. That's why I stick more toward the heavy rock.
Im starting to get into the heavy stuff like breaking benjamin. They are awesome but at the same time there are many well written love songs. Lol
Well, shelve the love songs for a bit until you get to a point where they don't bring back such powerful memories. For a while, I was constantly avoiding certain songs on the radio for the exact reason you are writing about today. It was tough because me and the ex were always going to concerts. So a lot of my favorite bands brought back some memories. I think back now, and I am sort of glad that some of those concert memories were always a little hazy...
Sometimes you just have to avoid certain things until you are ready to deal with them again. One day you will hear one of these songs and not change the track/station. After it is over, you will realize that it doesn't affect you anymore and can look at that as one of your moving-on milestones!
I went to see Breaking Benjamin concert a while back. They canceled at the last minute, because the lead singer got into legal trouble my city. LOL!
Im out here alone, trying to get home. Im starting to think there is no life after her. All I'm looking for is happiness, with or without her and I've been searching and found nothing. I think all that still matters is love ever after. I don't know what I'm talking about, just going on. What do you guys think?
Happiness I think we need to find within ourselves.and the past IS the past.sometimes we allow our memories to haunt us.think about h o w you can make today a good day for you.
When you stop desparately looking for love it will find you.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Your still young , so start doing things you enjoy doing , stuff you can't do when your attached to someone.
This way you'll become happy in yourself and it'll show in your happy positive attitude :)
What does 'happiness' mean to you? I think that you're smart enough to know that other people are rarely the providers of happiness - it IS something that we need to find within ourselves.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Having said that, happiness is not a state of being - it is a state of mind, and for many of us it is fleeting. Why don't you focus on ACCEPTANCE of what you're feeling now. It may be that you just need to accept that you're unhappy, at this point in time, and to stop searching for something that is currently unattainable.
It is the striving for something that you're unable to achieve, that's making you unhappy. This will probably sound very 'Zen', but instead of trying for something that you're not achieving, can you just try to 'BE'?
If you can accept the way you feel and not judge it, you might just feel OK.
I tell you what I tell everyone in your position, set goals and make 'em.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Well, Down is on tour again, they're arguably the last good southern metal band still around since Pantera's Dimebag was killed. If you haven't heard them, definitely check them out, especially their first album Nola.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
At least to me, music is very important and is one of the few things in life that never gets dull and can always change my mood.
None, try going out with some buddies, have a couple beers, and talk to some girls. Just say hi and start shooting the breeze with them. Maybe even ask for their number. It's time to start being a little proactive in your healing. Don't desperately search, but keep your eyes open.
Have FUN with friends! You won't feel so alone then.
Hey everyone. So today I went on my Facebook which I haven't for a while and I checked my inbox and look what I found? A message from my ex's best friend.
What?? You befriended everyone including me?? And blocked on msn? Wordddd. Well. Have a great life then. -.-
What should I do? I feel guilty. I deleted and blocked my ex and all her friends. This message was sent in the middle of June so its been a while but I didn't read it till now.
Noney
You get on with your life and stop worrying about what your Ex or her friends are doing or thinking.
It's out of your control so just a complete waste of energy worrying about it.
Mid June?? A bit to late to cry over spilt milk.
HIT DELETE.
M the thing is I befriended all her friends, and she sent that message to me. Do I ignore it and go on with my life?
Im trying really hard to go on with my life.
Yep you leave it alone , when your over your Ex you can recommunicate with the friends if you so feel like it.
At the moment this is all about you and how your healing , not about their feelings.
If they're worthy friends they'll understand.
Im trying really hard guys. Is it true you can only fully get over someone when you find someone else?
Nope... because in so many cases, when a person is with someone else, they still have feelings for their ex and their current relationship suffers from that, one way or another.
You are only really over someone when you are really over them. Only you know when that is
Not at all , in fact a lot of people believe that and only end up hurting someone else for their own selfish needs.Quote:
Originally Posted by none12345
Healing takes time , so you need to help yourself heal quicker by going NC etc. and not living with false hope , and worrying about silly 2 month old messages on FB etc. ;)
okay guys thanks a lot for the support. I've say I've come along way, its been so long since I talked to her I forgot how long its been, starting to forget her number, care less but there are still left over feelings, I think its been a little more than half a year. Talking to girls again =P
That's good man... keep it up...
In time you will really be over her and you'll know it... but you can tell right now you are not totally there yet, but you are doing fine... :)
Hey guys, its been almost a year since me and my ex broke up. I don't need her in my life anymore yet I still think of her and get sad sometimes.
I also feel a little embarrassed of how I reacted when she told me she didn't want to be with me anymore but I guess it doesn't matter since ill never see her again, that is if I keep NC and because I was in love.
Sometimes I think that all that still matters is the love and laughter I shared with her which tempts me to break NC. And sometimes I feel like I will never be around her anymore cause of what she did to me. Im not really sure if there is life after her. What do you guys think?
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