Your kidding right? Don't break NC. Stay on the path as something's you can't make right, and its not worth it to.
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Your kidding right? Don't break NC. Stay on the path as something's you can't make right, and its not worth it to.
NO you shouldn't FULL STOP. Don't you want the pain to start disappearing!!Quote:
Originally Posted by carlson92
Be honest with yourself , are you just wanting to do this to regain some sort of contact??
No. Just thought of getting things right but all right then I'll maintain the NC I'm doing now then.
Haven't made any contact and continuing NC for 2 weeks and running.
Okay, glad to see you made the right choice, add her e-mail address to SPAM because that's exactly what those piece of crap e-mails are
Hi. I have been it situations like this many of times. You only need to play it cool and maybe even try forget about her for a while. She may come to you first. If not don't bombard her just say the occasional hi. Trust me girls love a cool guy and even the chase of one.
I did it last week. Followed most of your NC rule. :) I'm glad myself. :)Quote:
Okay, glad to see you made the right choice, add her e-mail address to SPAM because that's exactly what those piece of crap e-mails are
Yeah. I realised it last few days. :D Thanks for your advice. :) In fact I barely think of her, just occasional since I see her everyday in school.Quote:
hi. I have been it situations like this many of times. You only need to play it cool and maybe even try forget about her for a while. She may come to you first. If not don't bombard her just say the occasional hi. Trust me girls love a cool guy and even the chase of one.
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Just an update. My school's summer holiday has just started today all of a sudden as it suppose to start next week. That doesn't matter. I just say that I won't be seeing my ex for the summer holiday or maybe just 2 to 3 times hang out with mutual friends, but I did not say bye to her or have a great holiday or whatever when school ends and I just leave home.
I wonder. Did I do the right thing? As I'm carrying out this NC rule now. I'm just not sure. My best friend asked me whether I said bye to her, I told him I didn't and I actually felt abit bad as I know she still do care for me despite all her action like blocking me in msn and more. Then my best friend said I should have at least said bye or something like that. Again, did I do the right thing?
You do the right thing by worrying about yourself, not someone who has made it clear they no longer want you in their life. Stop caring about her feelings and deal with your own.
Stop doubting yourself. Stick with your decision of remaining in NC. You worry too much about satisfying her, and want to be the good guy. You are the good guy when you respect that she ended this, and you are giving her what she asked for.Quote:
Originally Posted by carlson92
Thank you very much. :) Just want to know that's all. I'll update here when anything happens. :)
Carrying out NC since 29 June.
Ok. Just a quick update. Tomorrow, just saying that my sis and I are going to watch my best friend's football match before he leaves to excel his career in football in another county and is probably is his last game before he leave and as his best friend I must watch it. My sis who knows everything that is happened between my ex girlfriend and me is a good friend to her, just asked my ex if she can tell her mom to give us a lift, she said no problem and she had asked her mom to come to my house to give my sis and I a lift to the match. She is coming along with her cousin, which is my friend as well with my sis and I to watch the match. (detail helps :) ) Btw, her mom maybe know about me and her.
So I suppose that I just stay cool and calm and act like everything is normal, right?
Since you got into this, I supposed you can be civilized about it.
Everything went smooth. :) Just updating.
Goes to show what you can do when you put your mind to it.
Details please?
Well erm... ended is her dad who pick my sis, my friend and I up from my house. And I don't think her dad about me and his daughter(me ex), and I think only the mom know. So all of us when with her cousin and her little bro as well with her dad there. I acted normal, being polite with her dad, chatting with her dad but did not talking to her at all. I actually remained quite cool and calm throughout the time we had watching my best friend's game. Maybe I'm going through this NC rule that I don't actually feel whatever when she just like while waiting for the game or break time in between, she suddenly just bring her little bro and her cousin to the playground to chill there. I didn't even want to take notice at her if she looks at me or whatever, although no doubt, I still like her from the bottom of my heart.
Talked with her dad a lot about football that's all. Ended when they have to go, I just play my part or being polite by saying bye to my ex's family, all of them except her said bye... and her father even before he leaves, he patted me at the back and said bye instead of just bye. (Detail helps, haha)
Basically, my ex and I kept our distance, occasionally we look at each other without the other one noticing. For me, my sis just tells me when she looks at me. Which I have no idea why.
I made it very detail. :) It seems pretty long, sorry. :)
Glad everyone had a good time, that's the thing. Back to NC.
Glad it worked out in good favor, next time thought, I would take public transportation instead of asking my ex's parents
My sis just asked without my permission. Lol. Yeah, glad it went well. Back to NC and will update more here if there's any.
I rather ask now then later. I just got this question roaming for a couple of days. Even if I heal, will she be able to heal? Cause I just don't feel she would heal. You get what I mean? Can't describe in detail of the question but that's basically what I think.
She will if she wants to. I'm sure she will get her own life and be happy, if she wants to.
Is just me, I just don't feel that she wants to heal from it. Maybe is just me thinking too much.
I think so, too! Your thinking way too much about her, and what she will do. What your going to do, is where your thinking should be.
Imagine that time man before NC. Lol. Still carrying out my daily routine on self improvement and the NC rule.
One thing I just realize... trust level among my ex and I are still up there.
Just saying.
Oh yeah... a few of my friends and my ex are going on this vacation trip organized by the school. I didn't go cause she is going (NC rule you know) so I joined another vacation trip organized by the school. I don't think I should say have a good vacation or whatever to her huh? 3/4 of my heart is telling me not to but the other 1/4 tells me to.
NC since 29th June
Keep NC, and the trust level between you now means NOTHING, just saying.
All right.
It is wise to ignore whatever people talking about me and my ex especially them talking to my ex right? I mean I feel that anger and uncomfortable when people do that. How can I handle this type of situation?
I know that my friends are well aware, even to this day, that I DO NOT want to hear about my ex. In my mind, she is dead, so talking about her etc. just isn't productive at all. Set the expectations. You don't have to be a jerk about it, but let it be known (as if it shouldn't be anyway) that you just don't want to hear or talk about your ex.
I mean like her friend, like not my friend. I be very open here, the friend which I think is whatever(interested or interesting) to her, is like insulting me behind my back, I get to know this as one of my friend just tell me. What I feel now is like, sort of mixture of hate and like towards my ex and as for my ex towards me, I think she hates me(I always expect the worst). What's bothering me is how can I handle this type of situation even for the future (with maybe another incident like this with another girl)?
I really don't follow you too well, but it seems to me like you need to separate yourself from this BS drama that is apart of your life. If you do your job, your ex will have ZERO to do with your life or most people in it.
OK... will do. Thanks.
What your Ex or for that matter anyone else says about you is totally out of your control so no point worrying about it.
What people think about you is the important thing , and they'll think of you as a good person if you demonstrate that through your actions , then whatever anybody has said about you doesn't matter.
You just made me fell better. :) This NC thing is harder and longer then I expect, cause I still feel the sting when my ex talk to someone else but not as much.
Ok, so I have been going NC since 29th June and I been feeling real easy and happy now. Saying first to prevent confusion, although she blocked me in msn until now but she didn't block me in skype. So today suddenly I feel abit different after seeing her skype pm says "really want to tell you, what you made me do".
I know she is that type of girl who takes time to do things and think properly as she never let her parents know about personal stuff especially our past relationship. So it a sudden strike to me that she wants to tell me something without telling me directly. You get what I mean guys? Half of my instinct tells me to talk to her, but the other half says continue NC. Yes nc I know but I do read stories here that the some actually brake nc and got a very good result as it took them enough time with the nc.
Answer my questions . I don't want to make a wrong decision like if I choose to continue nc then I miss the opportunity for the better.
I do care about her and I be frank here that it won't affect my progress of NC if I do initiate some contact especially on that type of problem like her pm.
Thank you in advance.
The only type of communication worth any merit is DIRECT communication. Reading into anything else is an absolute waste of time. If she wants to get ahold of you, she needs to find you directly! Continue onto NC. Games are for children.
What you made her do?? Come on, can't you see her laying the guilt trip on you?? Making this your fault, and she bears no blame?? Not a good idea to break NC!Quote:
Her skype pm says "really want to tell you, what you made me do".
Okie dokie. Good point guys. Think I'll just not break nc then. Will update on more in the future. :)
Ok a quick update on my progress and happening now. :)
Its been going pretty good I suppose so far. Been feeling very good with my new girl, but when I go out with her, my mind automatically brings some memory when I was with my ex, but I try to shake it off always. Can't lie to myself the fact that I still miss my ex a little, but I think I'm at the stage where I'm cool with her going on a date with another guy.
I been avoiding any status from social networking of my ex's possible, like knowing it but do nothing about it due to sticking to NC.
Just to me is like, her happenings is abit messy I would say. Not sure whether to give her a hand or just leave it.
I do have a question, in what situation should I brake NC and intiate contact with her?
Btw, her birthday is coming up, next month, 4th September. I know what to do for that I suppose. :)
Nothing at all!!
Erm OK. One question bother my mind sometimes.
By undergoing NC, what benefit do I get out of it? Besides my own healing.
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