Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   In love, she's getting manipulated by her parents. She doesn't know anymore. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=357731)

  • May 25, 2009, 07:27 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    24 hours? what will it accomplish?

    A lot more than the mess you've got going right now.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:30 PM
    Steve1010

    Will it help or hurt me if I don't answer. The relationship
  • May 25, 2009, 07:31 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    will it help or hurt me if i dnt answer. the relationship

    Help.

    But you have to stick to the no-answering thing. Yes, it sounds wrong, but it works soooo well.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:37 PM
    Steve1010

    Are you a female? How does it work so well if I don't answer. What if she's like I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN BACK W U IF U WOULD ANSWER or says stuff like that. Or tries to make it a serious point to talk to me.. I'm like her only lover/friend, we haven't ever gone a day w.o talking
  • May 25, 2009, 07:41 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    are u a female? how does it work so well if i dont answer. what if shes like I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN BACK W U IF U WOULD ANSWER or says stuff like that. or trys to make it a serious point to talk to me.. im like her only lover/friend, we havent ever gone a day w.o talking

    Yes, I am female and am also a counselor. Don't let her pull your chain. If you are serious about her, don't reply to her at all! Totally ignore her.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:46 PM
    Steve1010

    When do I answer
  • May 25, 2009, 07:47 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    when do i answer

    After 9 p.m. Tuesday evening.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:48 PM
    Steve1010

    Why 24 hrs though?
  • May 25, 2009, 07:52 PM
    Wondergirl

    Why not? Can you make it a longer time?
  • May 25, 2009, 07:52 PM
    Steve1010

    Wouldn't she be like, see you don't care your not answaring.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:53 PM
    Steve1010
    OK, so the shorter the time I wait to text her, or answer her then what? And the longest I take. Like till the weeknd then what?
  • May 25, 2009, 07:53 PM
    Wondergirl

    Isn't she saying that now, even if you answer right away?
  • May 25, 2009, 07:54 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    ok, so the shorter the time i wait to text her, or answer her then what? and the longest i take. like till the weeknd then what?

    You would never be able to hold out until the weekend.

    I figure 24 hrs is a good time span.
  • May 25, 2009, 07:58 PM
    Steve1010

    She has all the power now. From what u have heard from my story. Do u think she will be back? Do u think she will continue to play mind games with me? Constinatly saying she doesn't know? Whatwould u do?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:00 PM
    Wondergirl

    I want YOU to get some power. I want you to take off that leash. I want you to not buy into her drama.

    She will play mind games if you allow her to do so. YOU have that power.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:02 PM
    Steve1010

    Will she come back? How do I restore the power
  • May 25, 2009, 08:02 PM
    Steve1010
    She pushed me around, I then listened to her. She then shut me out.. so do u think she will try to contact me? After she said Don't TALK TO ME ANYMORE
  • May 25, 2009, 08:03 PM
    Steve1010
    Should I delete her from my Facebook? Should I do something like that? What do I do.. I keep looking at her fbook
  • May 25, 2009, 08:03 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    will she come back? how do i restore the power

    Of course she will come back. You will restore your power by taking control of communication between you two.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:05 PM
    Steve1010

    But one day will let me have it back? Why do uthink she is so confused and changed her mind all the time!
  • May 25, 2009, 08:07 PM
    Wondergirl

    She needs you to take control. She otherwise is like a feather spinning around in the breeze.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:08 PM
    Steve1010

    I don't get how last week she loved me to death.. now this week didn't. Then today after I did what she wanted she says she knew I didn't love her and she won't take me back because I just broke up with her? Even though that's what she said she wants?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:08 PM
    Wondergirl
    Her parents have manipulated and controlled her all her life. She needs someone strong in her life to be her anchor.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:08 PM
    Steve1010

    WhT do u mean needs me to take control?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:09 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    i dont get how last week she loved me to death.. now this week didnt. then today after i did what she wanted she says she knew i didnt love her and she wont take me back because i just broke up with her? even tho thats what she said she wants?

    You don't see through all that?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:09 PM
    Steve1010
    So how do I be strong?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:09 PM
    Steve1010
    What do u mean see through all that??
  • May 25, 2009, 08:10 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    whT do u mean needs me to take control?

    She depended on her parents to be in charge and to be strong, but they failed her. Now she needs you to be the steady, strong person who will help her through life.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:13 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    so how do i be strong?

    Think about it. What does that say about her thinking processes?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:14 PM
    Steve1010
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    She depended on her parents to be in charge and to be strong, but they failed her. Now she needs you to be the steady, strong person who will help her through life.

    If that was the case.. why would she say don't talk to me anymore. And close the door like that,, and say I don't want a relationship right now.. I want to be the person for her. She has no one else. I want to so bad and I try to make her see it
  • May 25, 2009, 08:15 PM
    Steve1010
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Think about it. What does that say about her thinking processes?

    I'm really stumped.. please help me.. I need this girl. What is she thinking? Because these last couple weeks she's been messing w my head
  • May 25, 2009, 08:16 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    if that was the case.. why would she say dont talk to me anymore. and close the door like that,,, and say i dont want a relationship right now.. i want to be the person for her. she has no one else. i want to so bad and i try to make her see it

    Did she really close the door??

    You know she doesn't mean what she says. She keeps changing her mind.

    You can be the person for her IF you keep your cool and don't let her suck you into her drama.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:18 PM
    Steve1010
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
    Did she really close the door?????

    You know she doesn't mean what she says. She keeps changing her mind.

    You can be the person for her IF you keep your cool and don't let her suck you into her drama.

    But the thing is she said she's sick of the drama?yet she creates it? I just want to be her everything. I want to be her hero. I want to take her away from that horrible situation and just be happy. Because when were together the way she holds me and kisses me I can tell she never wants to leave.. she said the other day when I held her she never wanted me to let go.. but now she says don't talk to me
  • May 25, 2009, 08:19 PM
    Steve1010

    How do I keep my cool?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:20 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    im really stumped.. please help me.. i need this girl. what is she thinking? because these last couple weeks shes been messing w my head

    Like I said, her parents did a number on her, totally confusing her security. Now it's up to you, to give her that security and safety and stability that she missed out on.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:20 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    how do i keep my cool?

    By not getting into her drama.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:22 PM
    Steve1010

    I try to give her security. How can I do it if she won't talk to me? How do I not get into the drama>
  • May 25, 2009, 08:23 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    but the thing is she said shes sick of the drama?yet she creates it? I just want to be her everything. i want to be her hero. i want to take her away from that horrible situation and just be happy. because when were together the way she holds me and kisses me i can tell she never wants to leave.. she said the other day when i held her she never wanted me to let go.. but now she says dont talk to me

    Yes, she hates the drama but then creates it because that is all she knows in life, DRAMA, CHAOS, INSTABILITY, INSECURITY, FEARFULNESS. She creates it for herself and, by extension, for you.
  • May 25, 2009, 08:24 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Steve1010 View Post
    i try to give her security. how can i do it if she wont talk to me? how do i not get into the drama>

    She can't stay away from you, sounds like.

    Has she been texting you during the past hour?
  • May 25, 2009, 08:25 PM
    Steve1010
    That is true that is all she knows.. but how can I show her differently? I have been so good to her these past 3 weeks. Going out of my way to make her feel good, and doing whatever

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:50 AM.