This is where my method of thinking comes in handy.
You're either with me or against me. No such luck between
But maybe that's just me
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This is where my method of thinking comes in handy.
You're either with me or against me. No such luck between
But maybe that's just me
Well I think she is with me, lol. It's just that my ex really f-ed up my life and I'm still trying to rebuild it
My fiance's ex did the same thing, she didn't come with any of her exes friends though
Did I miss something? I thought you guys broke up already? Why do you care who she talks to? You are obviously still affected by her actions.
Instead of telling your friend to stop talking to her, you should tell your friend to stop giving you updates about her.
Move on with your life and stop trying to controlling her and your friend.
I wish, my ex is a guy and my friend is a girl lol.
Everyone is free to be friends with whoever they want. The fact remains that she was with him first.
Now you can tell her that you would appreciate it if she doesn't mention him while she is hanging out with you.
Well she doesn't "hang out" w/ either me or my ex. She lives 75 miles away from me, and he lives 500 miles away from me
Threads merged to keep the story straight
Ok, so to my knowledge, my ex is not seeing anyone and hasn't since me. But considering he lives 500 miles away and have been in no contact for almost a month (and he stopped starting contact a long time ago) who knows. I just know that when/if he does date someone after me I will want to pull out both of their eyeballs and make voo doo dolls of them :P
How long did it take you to get over your ex?
It took me around 2 months to say I was completely getting over her, which each passing day after I started NC it got better. She actually accused me of never loving her because she said I just stopped talking to her like we didn't even know each other.
Takes a LONG time to get over someone you have a deep and genuine loving feeling for. A month, no. Hek, it took me I would guess around 5 months before I could say it didn't hurt anymore and I could actually sleep on a nightly basis without some sort of help. You will get to a point where you don't care.
I am over my ex, but I do remember when I found out she was dating another guy, and, naturally, that still stings a bit, but it doesn't effect me for more than 30 seconds or so. You will get there. Patience, it is the key to every good thing.
The healing process varies from person to person. How bad to you want to rebuild your life, and how hard you are willing to work on yourself, will make a difference, but it takes as long as it takes.
I decided to constantly strive for betterment for myself and my mental health a few years ago. You have your down times to be sure, I don't think you can work on yourself for month, and when your feeling better suddenly stop improving. Self awareness and improvement should be a lifetime thing. You don't have to do it daily... but you shouldn't start and then stop either. Every time I have stopped, I seem to fall backwards. So when Tal says it takes as long as it takes, I think you can also tell yourself that contant improvement should become a life choice not just a one time thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Your ex is your ex but the journey can be rough since he is the father of your son.
It is sad that he doesn't have anything to do with his son because believe me he will regret it late on in life. This just shows what type of man he is, not one.
The only thing you need to do right now is to focus on your son and yourself. When thoughts of him sneek into your mind think of your son and how he isn't in your child's life.
The path of healing depends on you. You have to gather up all your strength and willpower. Your feelings will up and down, down and up. But just remember what don't kill you only makes you stronger. And even if you are son try to cover it up because you don't want him to see mommy sad. Btw, if you have to cry, then cry. It is better to let it out then to keep it in.
This guy sounds like a real winner! First of all, he hit you that is totally inexcusable! Move on, even though that may be hard, its what you have to do. Your son is better off without him as a father. If he hit you then chances are he would also be abusive to your son. You don't want that!
If you don't like my answers, tough deal with it!
Thanks everyone
Threads merged
I really don't want to, but I feel like I am just waiting for my ex to come back and I know I shouldn't be like this, but I don't know how to feel differently about it. We have basically been broken up for 2 years now and I went on like one date since then that went horribly. Looking back to when I was together with my ex it feels like it was a story, like it didn't happen to me. It just seems like how I was then is really different then how I am now. And that is probably true, because when you are left high and dry and pregnant there isn't much left to do except become a bitter person who talks about it on online forums :P
It's been almost a month of no contact, so what should I do?
It's only been a month of no contact. The fact that he left you high and dry (and pregnant... ) shows how much he really cares for you.
You deserve so much better then that and the reason the two years of breaking up hasn't treated you right is because you didn't treat the break up right. If you were in NC for two years, you would be long gone of this whole mess.
Keep NC, be strict to yourself not to mess up on NC and just think about how horrible you have to be to leave a person is such a dilema. You deserve much more then what he was offering and keep the NC so you can finally realize the reality of his ways and ultimately the truth about him.
It sounded like you didn't moved on. Time passes but you are stucked in somewhere behind time! Get yourself out, if possible get the feelings out of your mind. Well we ALL think about the pass, the good things that happened together... we're like angels, now we're like devils bla bla :D
Dude, no more waiting. God is the ruler of your life, just accept what god wants to give u, because there's always a better coming, anytime, anywhere * not just love.
Well I really don't think I could do 2 years of NC. I just don't understand how he can not care.
Your making the worse mistake of your life. Never wait for an ex to come back. Ex is an ex for a reason. 2 years.. Wow, time to move on. Really. Reality time is now.
I know it's bad, trust me. I just don't know how to move on. You think I don't want to move on lol
If you wanted to then you would have already moved on. Start living life for yourself and no one else.
Well like I said I have a kid, so it would be a lot easier to move on if I didn't have one. I could still be at a real college and not caring about him. But I have a lot of time to "think" during the day and that is never good. I just don't see myself being happy for another year or 2 lol.
That's your choice.
First steps into making yourself happy again is to go NC. After that, keep doing NC. When you feel that you want to contact him, STOP. When you feel the need to reach out to him in any way, even if it's just a thought, STOP. I know it's hard now but every day is a little step closer to being happy.
Work hard.
I am assuming that the reason you are still in contact with him is because of the child... but Gambino is right... You deserve better than this... after two years, Hun, I don't think he's coming back... time to move on...Quote:
Originally Posted by ajGambino
Well that is why I am on here lol.
Lol
Lol your laughing a lot. Why is that.?
Lol
Are you really series on moving on, because it does not seem like you are. I do not know, everybody has given you excellent advice.
I think it is up to you to act on that advice and make changes for yourself. If your not willing to do that then you will always live in the shadow of your ex.
So move on. By going from all the advice given here. If nothing here catches your eye and your series enough to move on you will.
If not, well it is time for you to seek out counseling.
They will be able to go more in depth of your persona and why you keep holding on to something that will never be there.
Joe
You just don't know my personality, I overuse "lol" online lol :P
Why did you start another thread? Go back and read the responses again because your just going get the same advice over and over. Also, the threads are just going get merged like your other two threads did.
For the future, don't start a new thread relating to the same topic. It only confusing members. Lol lol (As Jesushelper pointed out this can become ignoring)
I know I use a lot of my own experiences on this board and some people think it's a bad thing but it's the best way to relate. My fiancé had an ex husband who abused her, she stayed because of the kids too. He is addicted to heroin and uses other drugs a lot, he's a first class douche bag.
She didn't know what to do, here she was stuck thousands of miles away from home, with his parents nagging her to take him back.
Fact: You will always be in contact with him, for at least 18 years anyway.
Fib: You can't move on because of this.
Fact: You deserve better than this douche bag
Fib: You won't find someone who will love you again
You deserve better, you are a beautiful woman, get out there and show the rest of the world what we already know
Emotions are a roller coaster.
At Busch Gardens (and Disney World, for that matter), when you have a gold pass, you can ride the roller coaster for as long as you want! No lines, no waiting, no cares; just loops, spins, gut-wrenching drops, head spinning highs, and terrifying lows.
But, at Busch Gardens, you have to decide when you want to stop riding the roller coaster, get off, get a glass of lemonade, and sit in the sun for a while.
Emotions are just the same.
It is your decision when you're going to move on. You must decide. No one can make you stop riding the roller coaster if you want to ride it. No one can tell you how you can move on unless you just do it.
Get off the emotional roller coaster and move on with your life.
It's a mental choice. We've all made it.
Believe me.
I imagine your child brings you joy, so focus on that, and make a plan for yourself. Its human to have down days, but even then, we can find things to take pleasure in. This feeling will pass. Let it.
I was going to say the same. Had to spread repQuote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
Do you find joy in your child? I understand the pregnancy wasn't planned and having to be a single mom at your age wasn't planned... BUT some of the best things in life are unplanned!!
Please enjoy your child. Motherhood is a blessing... (in between diapers and tantrums and sick visits to the doctor... ).
You never know what's going to happen down the road... this may be the only child you'll ever have and kids grow up sooo fast. Focus on your son and your future and do your best to put the sperm donor behind you
I agree with Chuff... I would have smacked him MYSELF... and I'm a little lady...Quote:
Originally Posted by chuff
Give yourself some time... take care of your son and your parents... and things will turn around for you...
And get that Yahoo out of your mind!. The MINUTE you start to dwell on him... CALL someone... eat ice cream... take your son for a walk... ANYTHING to keep him OUT of your mind... then you will be able to let other things in your life... that will help...
Well when he did hit me, I did try to hit him back lol .
It's hard not to think about him though because I have a lot of time on my hands, sadly I think about him everyday lol.
I think my life will get better, but I already had 2 years of hell and I feel like it will be another 2 years until I am happy.
I don't know why you have so much time on your hands... is it because you take care of your son at night? If so, maybe you could take up a hobby at night, like reading, or sewing, or giving advice on Ask Me.com... lol... do things for your parents at night, clean the house, etc... or just talk to them... get involved in something WITH them... just a thought...
Your two years of hell include your pregnancy and your son, right?
You wouldn't want him to know you thought this!
Well, pregnancy is no picnic, I know, and neither is going to school and raising a child and living with parents.
You sound bored with the way your life is. It won't always be this way. You will be employed eventually and get a place of your own. Am I on the right track or way off base?
You need something in your life, something you enjoy to help rid your mind of this boy who, if in the picture, would not make you happy either.
Yea you are pretty right on everything
And yea I have zero excitement lol
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