Ask Me Help Desk - My Mom's gay opinion

Being gay shouldn't be compared to a disability. Its totally different. You can be attracted to the same sex and have a normal functioning life. Unlike most disabilities. I agree on both sides. I do think its born in you with out choice. But I think you have that choice of letting it show or not. I am sure there are thousands of people in the world with gay tendencies that have fought it off because of society. Although its more accepted today you have to be a strong person to come out to the world your gay.

I can't imagine people "choosing" to be gay. There is no benefits, and actually you lose rights compared being married to a woman. I have 2 beliefs on this topic. I feel that no matter what a person does NOT choose to be gay, but I feel that people are either born that way, and then some are made gay through tramatic experiences or somehow. Though there was something on the news once where there were 2 identical twins. I think they were around 7ish or so. One was your normal everyday boy who loves action and fghting and such. The other boy loved making his room all pink and having a girly room. He even painted his nails and loved playing with barbies and more girly things. When I saw this, I figured it couldn't be a choice, especially since the boy is so young. Obviously, there is a chance he isn't gay but I can't imagine he isn't. I don't think this young boy ever once ever decided to have girly tendencies or anything

Quote:

Originally Posted by shazamataz

Sorry, I just had to add this...
Are you gay or straight?

Would you just sleep with another girl because you felt like it?

I agree with turtle girl. It is personal and not one has the right to be judgemental under the garb of advice. Your mother is right to some extent and so are you. There is a genetic connection which give you the tendency but environment and circumstances do plays a big role. This is scientific and undisputable. Cheers!

Thank you so much, lighty! That is the answer I wanted to hear that puts it all together!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by artlady

Why aren't you asking them?
These are your friends? If most of your friends are gay that is a good indication you are as well.People tend to hang with people who are like them.It's all good.You have to be with people who *get you* :)

I suspect from your posts that you are struggling with some issue about your own orientation.

I also sense a lot of anger in you.From a virtual point only but I do.

For example,you have been told that you give out reddies for factually incorrect information. You continue to give them out whenever someone disagrees with your opinion.

You are angry and I think you are in some sort of a issue about your own sexual preference and please know that we will help you to the best of ability.

Being angry about things doesn't do much to change things.

You need to be nicer to people around here if you want anyone to be nice back.

The reason I don't ask my friends is because if I did, I probably wouldn't get the most sensible answer. And I wouldn't be able to put this site to good use. And we already settled the angry issue.

Well, in tuition the past Friday, a group made a presentation on Gay Rights, and the issue turned out asking if gay depended on one's choice. The answer was that being gay or lesbian depends on two main factors, namely genetics and the environment where one lives. On the genetics side, say a mother have 7 girls. They said that studies showed that the 7th girl is more probably to be a lesbian. Of course, that's only a number, it could be any number, for the scientists do not know when do certain substances produced by the mother's body will 'convert' the fetus into a lesbian. I'm not telling you that being the 7th child of a family will be gay, but consecutive babies with the same sex tend to go towards being gay.

Also,they said that if you had a gay child, there's 50% chance that the next child will be gay.

Hope I helped clarified some things. (just saw lighty's post, which I find to fit with my answer as well.)

I am bisexual and I did not choose to be this way I promise you. The day I became interested in physical and emotional relationships I realised I desired a physical relationship with either a man or a woman. There are however some people at the moment who view being gy or bisexual as being cool and pretend to be bisexual or gay. These people make a choice to wear a label but are not truly homosexual or bisexual.

Whilst there is no scientific research to back up my opinion this has been my experience.

Hope that helped...

Griffers x

Both of you are right. Most of my friends, and I, are either gay or bu and we've discussed the subject extensively. Some have known since they were very young that they were attracted to members of the same sex. Some didn't discover the attraction until around puberty, when most people start developing their sexuality. Some made a conscious decision to be gay, although not to the extent of going against the very grain of their personality. Some even admit that it was an event in their childhood that 'turned' them gay.

Basically, every situation is unique. Even the lgbt community doesn't have a difinitive answer to that question.

I am quite surprised that someone on page 1 compared being gay to having downs syndrome or MS... and no one said anything.

Wow...

Anyway, did you, or anyone here, CHOOSE to be attracted to whatever gender you are attracted to? Was there a day in your life that you thought to yourself "hmmm.. should I like girls... or guys.. hmmm... I think.. I... will go with... ah hell, I'll just flip a coin!"

Being truly homosexual or truly heterosexual is not just a choice. There are many things in your life and in your biochemistry that make you prone to one or the other.

The reason I used the word "truly" is because there are heterosexual people pretending to be gay and there are homosexual pretending to be straight. And this has nothing to do with them.

I know I will get flamed for this but its my opinion and I stand up for what I believe in.

Being a christian you follow what God says in the bible. In the bible SEX before marriage is refrenced to sin. So is stealing, cheating, lying, you name it. A sin is a sin. Everyone sins in this world. I lie, I drive too fast. In Gods eyes, me lying is just as bad as me having sex with a man or a woman. If you aren't religious, then hey, go for it, live your life and be as gay as you want or as straight as you want and think what you want. If you ARE religious, then know that you will never truly have a happy and meaningful relationship with God when you are not able to fully commit to his word and to him. JUST LIKE if you are addicted to drugs or pornography and straight as a blade, you may BE a christian and many Gay people are christians, but you have a sin in your life that you have to deal with and it makes religion very difficult if not impossible. Yes, I think Gay people will absolutely be in heaven! But I think that they have struggles they have to deal with and church sure doesn't make them feel better.

Yes I think pornographers will be in heaven... but they have struggles and issues that make fully committing to Gods will difficult or impossible.

God also says NOT to have sex before marriage, PERIOD. Regardless of being gay or not. So being gay isn't the issue, its.. are the Gay / or straight people having sex out of marriage, and living for themselves. Yes..

So I wouldn't worry too much about Gay or Straight, but I'd worry about who are you living for, what are you living for, are you pleasing yourself? Or pleasing God.

Ok... thanks Shazzy.

Griffers90, I did not mention that people choose to be gay, but they can be made so if they get influenced by their surroundings. That is not a choice.

Dr. Drizzle (:D) Some people say that the down's syndrome is linked with a person being gay in a certain way... I don't know if that's true :confused:

Hiya Unknown008 I wasn't suggesting you were wrong hun I understood your point exactly and agree with you! I just added my experience in to back you up :) You made a good point I don't know what influenced my sexuality but I never made a choice. I could have been genetically predisposed to being bisexual or influenced by my environment either are very likely. Either way I don't think that which view turtlegirl16 or her Mum takes matters as long as they do not become predjudiced against someone because of their sexuality.
In short I agree with your point no one has a choice over the environment they are in so therefore it only makes sense they didn't choose their sexuality. :)
Hope that cleared some stuff up. X

Okay, now it's clear griffers90! :)

I believe that some people are born gay and some choose it.

Sometimes I see this as and impossible question that seeks an impossible answer... In a world that is science vs religion what are we to think?

This should be in the discussions boards not the advise board really...

I am of 2 minds. I believe that you are born predisposed to being homosexual.
However, you can make the CHOICE to follow that lifestyle or not.

I am a lesbian. No, I despise that word. I don't refer myself as a girl. All my exs are straight girls and they refer and see me was a guy.
But, let me tell you. Its not genetic or a choice, you were born with it. Seriously, Ive tried being straight, trust me. I know Im very pretty as a girl and can date any guys I want but Im just not attracted to them. I feel comfortable being a guy and talking to them like brothers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlove09

I am a lesbian. No, i despise that word. I don't refer myself as a girl. All my exs are straight girls and they refer and see me was a guy.
But, let me tell you. Its not genetic or a choice, you were born with it. Seriously, Ive tried being straight, trust me. I know Im very pretty as a girl and can date any guys I want but Im just not attracted to them. I feel comfortable being a guy and talkin to them like brothers.

I know this has nothing to do with the original post, I'm just curious; are you planning on undergoing gender reassignment surgery?

I'm not trying to be offensive. I know several people who are either planning on or in the process of transitioning. I think it takes a level of courage and determination that very few people can understand.

Why would any one choose to be gay!

Quote:

Originally Posted by hheath541

i know this has nothing to do with the original post, I'm just curious; are you planning on undergoing gender reassignment surgery?

I'm not trying to be offensive. i know several people who are either planning on or in the process of transitioning. i think it takes a level of courage and determination that very few people can understand.

Heyy. No worries. I plan to in the future actually :)

jlove09, you said its not genetic, but you were born with it. Genetics ARE what you were born with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlove09

Heyy. No worries. I plan to in the future actually :)

Congratulations in advance and I wish you all the luck in the world so that it will be as stress-free and timely as possible :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

jlove09, you said its not genetic, but you were born with it. genetics ARE what you were born with.

I believe you can be born with traits separate from genetics.

We are living in a strange time. Where it is cool to be gay. People that are greedy thinking only of there desires and not of the up coming generation and the coming that it will cause them. Being gay is a new fad. Everyone wants to be on the wagon .
If you were little Timmy playing in the school yard how would you feel being made fun of with Gay parents ? Does anybody think of this ?
We are surrounded by gayism. Radio, through songs , commercials , Government, Videos,TV etc. The temptation to lure you in to the pit falls .
I am not for, nor am I against it. I know good people that are Gay , that will not change the way I feel about them. I say however or what you do should remain in the privacy of your own domain. Not where ever you want to publicly broadcast it. That goes for what ever sexual preference you do prefer. Sex is a private matter . KEEP it that way. Have at least that much respect for yourself , if not for you , your partner .
What ever you are.

Being Gay is not a fad and I think that is one of the most uneducated things I have ever heard. Why would anyone want to be gay? To be made fun of, put down, called a ton of different names, so on and so forth? I can't imagine anyone being gay because it is "cool" and I certainly don't think it is encouraged, not in American society at least. Perhaps the tolerance has gone up, but it surely isn't something our society views as normal as apple pie.

A fad are the beenie babies, tickle me elmo, fanny packs... list goes on. A fad isn't a lifestyle choice to do something that makes you happy, no matter what judgement is handed towards you from the public eye. Courage isn't about winning or losing... courage is about standing up for what you believe in, having the morals and judgement to back it up, and being proud to say you are this way and you don't care what other people think. It is living happy, and free, not scared and full of shame. No one should have to be ashamed because of the sexual orientation they choose. That is not humane, period.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 321543

We are living in a strange time. Where it is cool to be gay. People that are greedy thinking only of there desires and not of the up coming generation and the coming that it will cause them. Being gay is a new fad. Everyone wants to be on the wagon .
If you were little Timmy playing in the school yard how would you feel being made fun of with Gay parents ? Does anybody think of this ?
We are surrounded by gayism. radio, through songs , commercials , Government, Videos,TV etc. The temptation to lure you in to the pit falls .
I am not for, nor am I against it. I know good people that are Gay , that will not change the way I feel about them. I say however or what you do should remain in the privacy of your own domain. Not where ever you want to publicly broadcast it. That goes for what ever sexual preference you do prefer. Sex is a private matter . KEEP it that way. Have atleast that much respect for yourself , if not for you , your partner .
What ever you are.

You are wrong on every count.

Being gay is not a fad. It is not new. Hiding in the closet and not letting anyone know you're gay is not having respect for yourself OR your partner.

Homosexuality has been around for as long as mankind. In ancient greece it was expected for teenage boys to enter into a sexual relationship with an older man and to learn the ways of society from them. Many priests, monks, and nuns throughout the history of christianity entered the religious order BECAUSE they were gay and knew it was the one place they wouldn't be forced into a marriage they didn't desire. There are diaries from hundreds of years full of love letters, erotic verse, and memories of trysts between homosexual couples. One of the most famous ancient greek poets was sappho, who was a woman from the isle of lesbos (which is where the word lesbian came from) who wrote homoerotic poems. There are records throughout recorded history of sexuality and homosexual relationships.

One of the hardest things I ever did was come out. I faced ridicule, hate, rejection, and so much more. In my state it is completely legal to fire, evict, or even take someone's children away from them simply because they're gay. I knew there was every chance that at least part of my family would disown me and pretend I never existed. I had people at my college make fun of me and write derogatory and very hurtful things on my dormroom door. I even lost friends over it. All from admitting that I was gay. I wasn't even, and had never been, in a relationship with another woman.

Hiding your relationship from people, even if it is just the sexual side, is about as far from respecting yourself and your partner as you can get. Imagine being in a relationship with someone you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with. Now imagine that you hide everything remotely sexual about that relationship from everyone else. To all outward appearances you are nothing but close friends, maybe even roommates. Imagine how much it would hurt to know that the person you are with doesn't love you enough to tell everyone that they are in a romantic relationship with you. How disrespected and unwanted that would make you feel.

That is what it's like to be in a relationship with someone who, for whatever reason, is not out. Most relationships don't survive that.

Now, on the extreme off-chance you meant simply not doing or talking about anythig sexual in public, let me give you something else to think about. There are a million and one things that may not seem sexual but speak of a deep sexual connection to someone. Reaching over to tuck someone's hair behind their ear, touching their cheek, putting a hand around their waist, holding hands, angling your body so that you are facing just slightly more toward them than to anyone else, that smile everyone has when they look at the person they love, having to turn down every date offer and not being able to say why, spending most of your time with the same person, and a numberless amount of words, phrases, and figures of speech that we use onconsciously everyday. Now imagine having to not only notice all of those, but to hold back from doing them in public. It's not only the overtly sexual words and actions that people have an issue with when it comes to homosexuals, it's all the little things that they never notice, or find cute and endearing, in straight couples.

Can a gay pro create ? If not then it is not meant to last very long, for we as man and woman are meant too pro create. There was man...
From a man came a woman... Then came their descendents . Not man and man or woman and woman . How hard is it to figure out ?

Anything in between, mans carnel knowledge or desires.

Now that sounds like straight bible belt propaganda. Making any one who doesn't believe as you do wrong. Its not about right or wrong, its about the personal freedom to pursue what makes you happy, without some one getting in your business.

A lot of people are caught up in what's acceptable, and what's not. That's the conflict, and the tragedy, people afraid to be who they are, and that's a recipe for a lot of unhappiness. That's why people hide who they are. FEAR of being judged, and ostracized.

I do believe the heterosexual 'turning' gay or experimenting or exploring IS the fad 321543 is referring to, not being gay in general.
I hear it all the time from teens and young adults.
With the media, sex education and metro sexuals I agree that it is a trend if not a fad.