It's OK to be pissed... just don't let that control your actions.
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It's OK to be pissed... just don't let that control your actions.
OK everyone... here is the update:
I contacted a mutual friend of ours and went out to have a beer and talk about her. She's been friends with this guy since elementary school and knows all about our drama etc...
He tells me that when he talked to her yesterday, she said that she was upset with me and that she will call me when she isn't. He told her to stop being angry and just to contact me but she is stubborn and doesn't want to at this time...
So, I tell our friend that I understand but that she is losing me. And that if she doesn't make up her mind if she wants me or not, then I will be out of the picture. I told him that I will no longer email, text or call her and that it is now up to her to contact me. "either she wants me or she doesnt" is what I told him
He said that she loves me but she just doesn't know if she wants to spend her life with me or start "fresh"...
I say fine... that I'm not playing any more games and that if she's upset with me then, she needs to let me know and if she doesn't want to talk to me for a certain amount of time, then cool... but she needs to let me know one way or antoher instead of me texting with no response from her.
Long story short, he is going to relay the message to her and that she is losing me with her childish behavior...
Comments please!! Now what??
Stay NC. Life is not about waiting for other people to "decide" if they want to be with you. She knows the answer... you just keep up the NC, and build a life that doesn't revolve around her
All right... ill stay NC...
Ill keep you posted!
Stop talking to common friends, going on Facebook or whatever, man. Leave her alone.
Here's the thing, don't keep us posted about her life. We here do not care about her. We care about you. And so should you. Keep us posted about yours.
Oh OK... will do.
Thanks
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!
All right... I have tried doing things to take my mind off her. Gym, shopping, drinking... all that and I still want to text her and email her.. really just to ask:?
Gimme a yes or a no but tell me what is going on. Whatever she says is OK by me... but this not knowing is killing me.
What do I do? Do I write her off completely as of now - even though I still love her and she me? OR do I "wait" for her to make up her mind? I want to get on with my life and to meeting other people but this is preventing me from doing so!
I have a chance to go out tomorrow with the guys and they say that there are TONS of available women there... but, if she finds out that I was talking to one, shed leave me for sure! I love her but I DO NOT like to be ALONE!!
HELP!
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Go out and have fun... no one said you need to get another woman. That clearly wouldn't be ideal for you right now anyway... HAVE FUN!! There is nothing wrong with that.
Help me out people..!
I sooooo want to text my girlfriend. I know ill get some heartache from what I'm about to say but here goes... maybe someone can relate:
I have been NC and the thing is that it has been 2 full weeks... 14 days since I last had sex. :( I was used to it every day.
If I text her, then maybe shed tell me to go over tonight and then we'd make up. Anyway... I haven't texted or emailed her yet but I was looking for some moral support...
Your thinking is so irrational I don't know where to being... you think she will just have sex with you out of nowhere?? Use your hand... it is less drama, and less heartache.
Moral support in your booty call??
Stick to masturbation, you won't feel guilty in the morning.
These are crazy times for me... thankx for the reality check.
Update... just got word from our mutual friend who called me...
He said that he talked to my girlfriend and that she is "very surprised" that I have not had ANY contact with her! She is starting to wonder why?
:)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Good! Stay strong.
Tell your friends to stop calling you with updates. They are your friends and as much as possible you should try not to get or hear updates as it will always set you back or get you wondering, making excuses for contact.
Well, here's the deal... went out last night and had a GREAT time... :)
BUT>>>>> as I have said before, this guy is a mutual friend of me and my girlfriend... while we were at the clubs.. she texted him and he talked to her telling her about us hanging out.
She told him to tell me that she is sad and the she loves me but she just doesn't know if she can love me AND "live" with me long term, because supposedly she gets annoyed at my behavior?? Seriously... whatever, she's the one who has some issues...
Anyway, what I'm I supposed to do? Its not like I can just let her go but at the same time I don't want to wait for her decision. You know? So, I figure ill continue to go out and if I meet someone then so be it. If my girlfriend decides to "wise up" then I have the choice of getting back with her...
Comments please...
Quit talking about "meeting" someone... is that all you go out for? Just have fun, and see what happens. You have NO business getting involved with another woman right now... NONE. Meeting someone shouldn't even be on your agenda...
Just to refresh your memoryQuote:
Originally Posted by Justwantfair
Oh... ok... I won't get involved with anyone... ill just go out and have fun. Thankx for your comments. And justwantfair... its not that I'm asking for updates but my friend tells me them anyway!
I understand you aren't asking, but you need to be telling, I don't want to hear about her... they are your friend, they should be considerate of your feelings. If they know it bothers you, because you tell them, then they will keep you off the update list.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Tell your friend to shut up! He should know better.
OK... ill make sure to do that...
Everyone...
I can't stand the NC! She has yet to try to make contact with me but you know what?
I have SOOO many other things to do right now, moving, new job... etc. that I Don't have time nor want to wait for her to make up her mind...
So, I think that it would be best to text her today and ask her to lunch. I figure if she says "no" - then I have my answer. If she says "yes" - then ill go from there...
Any input would be great... :)
Or... sh** I just don't know what to do...
Now I feel angry that she has done NC to me! Maybe I should just leave her be and she is she contacts me... please help me.. because I'm so confused right now.
Thanks
Your emotions are confusing you. Stay with NC. Everyone told you it was hard, so now you know we were telling the truth. Leave her be, and stay busy, as you said you have been.
Not a good idea.Quote:
So, I think that it would be best to text her today and ask her to lunch.
You will be back here complaining about how hurt you are either way, when she doesn't take you back.Quote:
I figure if she says "no" - then I have my answer. if she says "yes" - then ill go from there....
How many times are you going to run head first into a brick wall?
Accept you are free to be happy and do whatever you want. What's so hard about that?
Okay, ill continue NC... and your right it is SSOOOOOO hard to do... dam%
I want to be happy, etc... its just that I still love her. You know? But cool... ill keep busy.
talaniman... can you explain what you mean by "my emotions are confusing me"...
Thanks
Your thinking is based on feelings, which are all over the place right now, (understandably so), instead of facts, (she dumped you). That's why you are angry she hasn't called, or taken you back.
NC will allow you to settle down and think a lot more clearly. Break ups are a life experience that teaches us to recognize, and cope with our feelings in a positive way, so we can move forward in life.
Do you have any friends who aren't "mutual" friends? If so, I'd start hanging out with those folks a bit more. You don't need to be hearing all this third party feed back.
Well that makes sense but she "technically" hasn't dumped me yet because she hasn't told me that, and she would. Also, just 2 days ago, our mutual friend said she loved me but Didn't know what to do... im not trying to run my head into a break wall but you see the ambiguity that I have with this relationship?
Or, maybe I'm in denial... I just don't know, so everyone out there... please give me your input ESPECIALLY since its Friday and I have a long as$ weekend ahead of me!
My Input: Life is too short to wait for her to make up her mind on whether she wants to be with you. Life is too short for games, drama, being mad and crying over spilt milk... all of that.
You have to face the reality that if she truly wanted to be with you, she would be. Time reveals all truths, and this situation is no different. You have a long weekend ahead, of enjoying yourself, having fun ,and most importantly, NOT WORRYING about her!!
You get one shot, make it count. Screw her!
No, unfortunately, I don't have any none mutual friends but I could try to make some...
kctiger: thankx for the tough love.
its freaki^^ hard as He**... after ALL that time together, she is putting me through this! >:
Sorry to say my friend, but you are letting her do this to you. She has no power over you, only the power you allow her to... free yourself from her reigns and enjoy life man!Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
Carry on... :cool:
ALSO>... let me ask everyone out there...
My emotions are running pretty high... and can anyone tell me how to stop thinking about her being with another guy? That too, is driving me crazy.
Thanks... yeah I'm a basket case right now.
All the things that are running through your mind are ABSOLUTELY 100% normal, trust me. Keep yourself busy... do whatever it is you have to do. To be honest, I think you sometimes just have to handle those thoughts. Very few things will actually take your mind off this right now... just deal with the thoughts, and, over time, they become less and less powerful and overbearing.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazyoverher
It sucks, I know. You are thinking of the most irrational thoughts on the planet, but that is what our mind does to us when feeding off emotions. Hunker down and you will get through this. For every negative thought, blast it out with a positive thought... do 10 pushups every time you think about her... hell, by the end of this ordeal, you will be buff!
:) you're the MAN.. kctiger! :)
Thanks
Well... what I would do in your place is to assume she had dumped you. It'll be for your best.
OK... I will assume that she did dump me.
I mean, don't go after any other woman! But apart from that, assume you are single.
Honestly, in your place, I'd call her to tell her it's over. That way you'd be free to do whatever you want without regretting what she thinks. But that's just me.
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