Thanks again guys for all the responses but I have one more for you.

Aside from all that was said on this forum, this may sound really weird but last night I had a terrible sleep with plenty of nightmares, and this morning I woke up and I had one thing in mind.

I Don't WANT TO BE WITH HER ANYMORE!! I know it sounds stupid and childlish but for whatever reason I feel very strongly about my decision, I am going to see my trave agent tomorrow to see if its too late to cancell the trip.

I have girls on the side that would kiss the ground I walk on, I have been putting all of them on the side for this girl and for what?? I think its about time I give some of them a chance and see where how things would work out with someone else.

Don't ask me why the quick transition but you can't help with the way you feel, she insisted on going out for dinner tonight which I think I'll go and see how I feel since this would be a due or die situation for my final big secision tomorrow, what do you think guys?

I think you're a wishy washy flake that go whatever way the wind goes,since you asked.

Hmmm should I take that as an insult??

If so I am sorry I make you think that way of me, its just I was with the same girl for 6years and all of sudden after her it looks like all the rules to the game have changed.

Just to let you know no one wishes to be in my shoes and just because I seem like I am not sure about what I am doing sometimes is because I am confused as hell but I think iv'e made up my mind but please don't be condesending towards me.

This morning you posted that you wanted to be with her and six hours later you turn around and feel the opposite and you have how many women on the side just waiting to kiss the ground you walk on? That's why you need to know what you want in life and quite playing with some ones feelings that is no joke. I didn't say it as an insult only telling you how you look according to what YOU posted here. If your confused, then leave the ladies alone till you get some direction. They are human beings you know and how would you feel if your feeling were played with by some confused person. Would you rather hear the truth here or have your hat handed to you in real life?

Yeah - this is weird.

I don't think you should see her - I don't think you should see anyone for along time. You need to work on yourself.

Work on other tings in life.

Maybe so, I think you are both right, I need to be alone and figure out what I want and I guess that is why I am going to do what I said I would.

I would never play with anyone's feelings since I know how crappy it feels, those girls I mentioned know my position and know where I stand I never lied to them but it was always thei choice if they wanted to stick around just like I stuck beside her for 6month.

But either way, I never meant anybody any harm and I hope I never caused any along the way. Wsh me luck guys and I will keep you posted...

I do wish you luck, and keep us posted! And keep it real!!

Have you ever heard the saying "HE WHO CARE THE LEAST WINS" sounds to me like that is what she is doing. She has you eating out of the palm of her hand because of the way she is acting.

I say let her go and find someone who appreciates you.:(

Quote:

---

But either way, I never meant anybody any harm and I hope I never caused any along the way. Wsh me luck guys and I will keep you posted...

---

I do not think you have made any harm along the way! I wish you luck with your problem.. No one can tell you what to do ? But you need to make a choice once and for all and stick too it 100% and mean it.

Start to love yourself and make time for you ! Live your life to the MAX each day and enjoy taking each day as it comes.

After you've become real and been with real, everything else pales in comparison. Its just so hard to see that until you get there. Its unfathomable until one day it isn't. The journey to become real isn't for the faint-hearted either. It is full of seemingly endless lessons, some pretty painful ones. You've already learned some of the important ones. And in less than fifty short posts in one thread, I see you having taken a few substantial steps in that direction. Bravo!

Now the trick is to keep going. But you can do it, Kadd.

Thanks guys, all of your inputs means a lot and you can't imagine how much its helping me already...

Hey guys,

I am really hoping that the few of you that gave me advice a little while ago will remember me =(

So I'll pick up where I left off. We went on our vacation to Miami and I have to say it was the most amazing week of my life, me and her had an incredible time we spent every single moment for 9 days together and it was just great however... As you all already know this was coming to an end, we both had a conversation about the issue and we both agreed to remain friends at the end of the week.

Well so that it is in a nutshell, I broke away from her but at the same time its breaking my heart =( I have never loved someone so much before in my life, I am so depressed at the time but I know that time will heal all. Its just so hard, I feel so lost and so hurt. I know she is not happy about the outcome of this either since she had told me on several occasion and we both know it won't work but it still hurts my heart beyond what words could explain...

Any advice guys on how to cope?

I don't get it. You had 9 days together... then that's it? Who's bright idea was that??

Who is the stubborn a-hole?

Pick up the phone and call!! Issues can be worked out - drop the stubbornesss

The only reason we went away is because the trip was already paid for and planned from long ago...

LOL trust me if I could pick up the phone and work things out I would have long ago. But if you remember she was the one that keeps on telling me that she is not ready for a relationship and that is the only reason why we are not together.

I took your advice wild cat and put a stop to things as she was toying too much with my emotions. She made it perfectly clear that she does not want a commitment so in that order I pushed away and am trying to spare myself some more pain...

That's right. Well, now is the time for the NO CONTACT rule. Do not call, do not text, do not e-mail - disappear...

I have a feelingyou were too available to her.

Yeah I know, and like I said it has to be the hardest thing I would have to do but I have to stay strong.

I havrnt called her, e-mailed her, text messaged her nothing and I am only hoping I will stay this strong and be able to do thins because I really need too.

You have to. Come here and VENT and ask for advice.

The only way she comes back is when she realizes you are gone!

As Wildcat says, lay low for a while and no contact. However, don't give up hope altogether ; I think there's potential here. I can't make any guarantees and don't get your hopes up too high but don't totally write her off just yet. Things may come around. Meanwhile, get on with your life, do things you enjoy, date other women and work on you.

WildCat this question goes for you or anyone who is willing to help.

She called me today and we talked for a bit, now she proposed something and which is the following, she said we should stay friends and keep contact and even hang out.

Now as much as I would love too I don't think I could do it, to me I would be thinking it in another way and I know she'll only want a friendship. I told her I would think about it but frankly I don't want to do it cause every time I will be around her or even talk to her its going to bring back memories and just put me back where I started.

So my question is this, I want to be friends with her just not yet! How do I tell her that without having to upset her and tottaly losing her out of my life??

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kadd0007

WildCat this question goes for you or anyone who is willing to help.

She called me today and we talked for a bit, now she proposed something and which is the following, she said we should stay friends and keep contact and even hang out.

Now as much as i would love too i dont think i could do it, to me i would be thinking it in another way and i know she'll only want a friendship. I told her i would think about it but frankly i dont want to do it cause every time i will be around her or even talk to her its going to bring back memories and just put me back where i started.

So my question is this, i want to be friends with her just not yet! how do i tell her that without having to upset her and tottaly losing her out of my life???

---

Just go along with her without making any promises or commitments. See her and hang out occasionally but not too often. Make your dates with her "few but intense" if you get my drift. Don't be too available to her. As Wildcat and others will tell you, she is part of your life, not your life.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh - you answered and talked??

What did we just say?? Disappear!! Oh well, you set yourself back further.

No to friends... don't give into her games/demands.

QUIT picking up the phone - you're busy now.

What don't you get?

I think you have a shot... but as you see on this silly call - you need to disappear from her life for a while.

NO frined zone - no hangout - she doesn't deserve your time right now. She needs to earn it!

Don't tell - NO MORE CONTACT!! Disappear!!

Strongly disagree C... he needs to disappear - no friend zone.

I see why he is in his place where he is with her... picking up the dam phone.

lol thanks wild cat I love your honest approach, and I have to say again you are right!

That is what I will do I am going to dissipear for a while!! I think not only will it help me get over her more quick it will make her think twice about what she had lost =)

Thanks again for some great advice, I will keep you posted or bug you in the time of need!

It is very difficult to move into the "friends" category when you haven't gotten passed the "lovers" category. Its too early to be "friends" - you need some time apart to readjust.

Well guys I am already feeling that I need to give an update and vent some more.

Well its been one week since we got back from Miami and we have not spoken a word!! This week has been the hardest week of my life, I miss her terribly and what's jabbing away at my heart is that all indications now points to the fact that she was being that way she was because it looks like there is someone else in her life!!

Why would she do that and hurt me for 6 month, I mean she has been cheated on and treated like **** why turn around and do it to someone else!! I am so confused and hurt at the same time but I still hold wats left of my pride by not calling her!!

As I remember you were breaking up with her any way. So don't feel hurt about some other guy on the side and take this as a lesson learned. I've never understood how someone, after being treated bad, turns around and does the same to someone else. Go Figure!!

Dude - they will NEVER tell you there is another guy - ever. It's the top reason they break from you. They want to spare your feelings.

Hopefully you've learned a little bit about this gal... maybe she isn't so great after all??

Good thing these other guys usually don't last.

Maybe it's time to take a good hard look at this gal... maybe she's done oyu a favor??

Remember - whe nthey breal with you - there usually is always another guy. Trust me.

My advice to you is date, date, date... date some more.

Tal - he didn't reall ywant to break her idea.

Dude - learn from this - be more caucious - don't put so much importance into women... until your married.

Thanks guys all the above advice is greatly appreciated!!

Its just really too bad that I had to learn the hard way... I guess to me its hard to understand why would anyone put another one's feeling through that kind of pain when they themselves have felt how horrible it is, and on top of that how do they live with the guilt because I never would be able too!!

NOW - do you understand WHY you don't pick up the phone when she calls??

Don't contact her for alone time if ever...

Date, Date, Date

Trust me Wildcat, I at least now have the power to actually ignore her lol, its hard as hell but now I know its doable.

And as for date date date I will be working on that very soon

It will be hard kadd. And it will most likely get harder for a while. But eventually it will get better.
If indications are pointing to another man then sadly you are most probably right.
But use that as a bit of anger and source of strength. Use that to help you remember how she has used and mistreated you and that you are better off without her. Use that knowledge you have as a tool to ensure you don't let her back into your life to hurt you again.

We see it a lot. Girl leaves guy for another bloke and realises the grass isn't greener on the other side so she tries to come back. And usually they let her come back in and she does it to him again.

Don't make these mistakes!

You now have to move forward. Work on YOU!

As I said though it will get harder. It is only a week. You are going to feel so many emotions over the next few months. But vent them here or with your mates. Don't go to her. You wontget the amswers you are after.

Good luck and stick around. I find this site such a great help emotionally!

Good. Continue not calling her. You may have to resign yourself to the fact that nothing's going to come of this. Don't waste time and energy trying to figure out why she does the things she does. It is impossible to deduce another person's motives and you certainly can't control their actions. As others have told you, now's the time to work on YOU ; that's the one thing you CAN control.

Hey guys,

Well I must sadly say that you were all right. This morning I got conformation from her that she did meet someone else and that is why things have changed.

She called me from an unknown number knowing I would not pick up is she called me from home, and she felt like its time to her to come clean. Now I know that most guys out there would have freaked and called her every name in the book but I went about it a different way and tell me if it was okay.

After she said her peace I simply said that I felt it was that all along and it was okay, I told her it was her loss and I told her that I would like to remain friends but just not yet. I told her that I need to be left alone and I want my space and if one day I want her back in my life a sa friend then I would call upon her friendship... and that is how thigs ended.

As much as this is hurting right now imagining her with someone else and now feeling like I am back to square one, I fell like this is the closure I need it. But non the less the pain is incredible.;

What do you guys think?? WildCat I need you =)

Im sorry for what I read about you, must be so hard on you.

But reading your previous posts I came to conclusion esp after reading this one, that you have the right attitude to help you move forward in life, and concentrate on yourself alone now, because that's what's important.

Feeling the pain is very natural, you are only human.
Time does heal, althou you probably won't believe, but trust me when I say it does :)

Good luck.

Good job walking away

Name calling is a bad way of looking for closure that really isn't there

Take some time before you date again. People screw up friendships or relationships when they try to ease the pain with another relationship too soon.

As mentioned, the hurt does go away in time, absolutely. Sometimes not as fast as we like, but you do look up one day and realize it just isn't as bad as before.

Good job

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kadd0007

Hey guys,

Well i must sadly say that you were all right. This morning i got conformation from her that she did meet someone else and that is why things have changed.

She called me from an unknown number knowing i would not pick up is she called me from home, and she felt like its time to her to come clean. Now i know that most guys out there would have freaked and called her every name in the book but i went about it a different way and tell me if it was okay.

After she said her peace i simply said that i felt it was that all along and it was okay, i told her it was her loss and i told her that i would like to remain friends but just not yet. I told her that i need to be left alone and i want my space and if one day i want her back in my life a sa friend then i would call upon her friendship....and that is how thigs ended.

As much as this is hurting right now imagining her with someone else and now feeling like i am back to square one, i fell like this is the closure i need it. But non the less the pain is incredible.;

What do you guys think??? WildCat i need you =)

---

You said the right thing. No big deal but it is to you. You don't want her in your life because she does not want you. So, move on forget her. You can and will do better. She does not excist. Do not see/talk ever with her again.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kadd0007

What do you guys think??? WildCat i need you =)

---

You don't need whycat. You did it yourself. You talked to her told her the right things because you are moving on! She fell off the face of the earth. Do not be just friends... ever!

I know this may not sound great, but I'm happy you found out. I say that because then you never have to wonder and you truly know that she's not the one for you since she can't commit. It will be you who comes out stronger in the end and a better person. I wish you the best.