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Originally Posted by Krs

There you go you see :)
You proved my point. The point i stated earlier about how strong you are.

You passed the first challenge and doesnt it feel good?

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I have a big new family of support here to give me the strength not to fall again..
Bless you all

:cool: :) ;)

Wow -that's so tough. My heart goes out to you. Instead of calling him... vent here. Write it ALL out - that's what it's here for. We will then respond.

And unfortuntely - he is still in love with his ex wife - those feelinsg just don't go away. He will ALWAYS run to her.

"And unfortuntely - he is still in love with his ex wife - those feelinsg just don't go away. He will ALWAYS run to her."

That is sadly very true. He's losing it cause he's losing control over you. Be prepared for more calls, maybe even him coming over with flowers, getting drunk and blaming you for it, you know, all the stupid ex-boyfriend stunts, just remember, stunts aren't real. It's time to move on to something or rather someone that is.

I'd wish you luck, but luck has nothing to do with it!

WOW! What a hard night last night was. I went to a bachlorett party and we went to a bar and his ex wife was there. Then about 15 min later he showed up. He looked at me and her and had a look like oh sh**.:o to see us both there what was he to do. Who was he running to. Well guess who.. ME! It was so hard to tell him go away ,your ex wife wants you back.Go beat her up a little more like I found uot you did and put her in the hospital. Who told you that.:p I told himits public record. Go to the court house and look it up. His replie... that was a long time agao, you know I would never hurt you.:rolleyes: I said Hunny... You have and don't even know it because its all a game to you and your so use to it you don't even know wha your doing. Have a great life see you.. Then he ran to her and apearently got the same thing from her. He left looking like a lost puppy. It husrt and was so hard. I wanted to be in his arms so bad. I just kept telling myself remember you new friends and all the truth you have learnd from them on the puter. Also remember all the beatings you took for 26 years... no way do I want another beater.
I think I am getting through this.
Thans to you all!
Take care and god bless all my angels here!
Hugs Deb

Great! Keep it up. Don't you feel better about yourself? Stronger and so much wiser. You are making decisions as to what is right for you and what will make you happy forever, not just momentarily . Good luck!!

Hey very good your making a stand and sticking to it! Just keep up your good works and you will be feeling better each day.

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I think I am getting through this

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You will get through this and be a stronger person in the end. God bless you and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

YES YES YES.
You are doing AWESOME. I don't get to read the posts over the weekend so I get all of them on a Monday morning. Reading what you have done here has INSPIRED me. You have shown a strength that is beyond belief in my opinion.

And a wonderful thing too that when you felt like calling him you came on here and found strength here. So great to hear that. I wish I had that in my dark times.

And the way you dealt with that situation at the Bachelorette party is simply astonding. What a lesson for everyone on Inner Strength

You are going to make a wonderful lucky man very happy one day and with it will come your own happiness.

Well done.

"beat her up a little more like I found uot you did and put her in the hospital. "

Wow - do he really beat her up? Why? For the love of god! Why/ And why woulld she go back to him??

There are some people out there who think the deserve abuse.

Just stya away from this loser.

What a jerm... he just called and left me a voice mail. Hunnny, please please... lets go to dinner and talk.. please.
I am not resopnding.thanks to ya all@ this sight
Hugs

:) That sound you hear is applause because you have made a lot of people here very HAPPY.:)

GOOD. The hide of this guy.
Let him wallow in the crap that he has created for himself.
You have the power. Keep it that way!!
Stay strong. Your doing great!

Well said Tal,

I am only relatively new here and offer only advice that I can based on my relatively limited expereinces in life so far. But I love reading everyone's post.

You have done great SO FAR, and its nice to know that you think we have played a part in that.
But believe me, you are playing the lead character and so far putting up an oscar winning performance.

What a Wuss!! Hahahaha! Begging!! Very attractive!!

See guys - you get to se the other side.

I took my grandkids to the drive in tonigt and guess who I sw=aw... him yes him.
he was with another girl and her 2 kids.. I looked at himand smilesand shook my head. I got a phone call ont my voie mail when I got home saying... hunny its not what you think. It wasmy cousin and her kids.. hello then why didn't he talk to me. Dah/!! I wasn't born yesterday.
I'm not answering his call
take care hugs

No don't answer. Don't even acknowledge him. Plus you didn't want him to talk to you at the drive. You want nothing to do with him.

DKH... I just read all the posts... and I want to say that your actions are such a strength for me! I smiled when I read them all... thank you for posting it all here... and good luck with keeping your strength and your ability to make things better in your life! You know, we usually keep going back th what we know, no matter how sick it is... just because it is comfortable... and the only way not to do that is to break the cycle, and it sounds like you are doing that... YEAH YOU!!

Yeah!! NOw you are getting stronger all the time. Your next relationship will not be one of being used. It will be a good one.:) One you deserve.

"hunny its not what you think" - what is this guy - a comedian. Cousin? Then WHY didn't he be a man and come forward and introduce his 'cousin' to you??

This guy is real scum for that. How many other 'cousins' are there?

Sometimes you have to back up a few hundred yards to see the big picture, the real picture and you have done that beautifully. Gently suggests that it might be prudent to notice how close you came to being fooled by this man and make a few personal decisions now that support you not being so easily fooled ever again. I don't mean cultivate being paranoid or being jaded and especially not bitter since that is a bad one. Just add a small dose of reasonable caution and a commitment to yourself to go a little slower (so you have time to verify who someone is) next time. You are a smart one and so I thought this would be a good idea for you. Just a thought that I hope is helpful. :)

IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF!!
I let him into my life again. Hee came knocking at 2 am crying he loved me and can't live without me. I let him stay the night. That was Friday. He left earlie satmorning. I haven't heard frm him since. I new it was too good to be true but I guess I STUPID!
I called him and left a message nevercall me or come here again and I can't take this emotional ****!
Why am I so gulable.? HELP!! HOWAM I EVER GOING TO GET OVER THIS??
HUGS DEB

Your not stupid or gulliable, just human with feelings. When life knocks you down get up dust yourself off and continue the journey, never give up on YOURSELF.

Well, now you know for sure what he is like. Maybe you just needed that true taste of reality for it to sink in and make you know that is never going to work.

"I havent heard frm him since. " - PLEASE REMEMBER THIS. = MASSIVE JERK.

Don't answer the door at 2 am anymore... let me guess - he was drunk. He's a big boy - he can move on.

You know where he was and who he was with.

The key isn't that you trusted him too much, it's that you don't trust you enough. It isn't that you bought his lies as much as you didn't believe your truths. Its solved by having a conversation with yourself about yourself, not him. Quit externalizing it. Leave him completely out of it for a minute, okay? You knew and you knew you knew but you did it anyway and so long as YOU can run over you that easily, so will the rest of the world, especially him. Besides, there are more like him out there too. It really does work that way, I am not kidding! Please Deb, no more picking on yourself--that only gives you more reason not to trust you and it deepens the whole thing... you know what they say about if you find yourself in a hole, quit digging!

If need be, as silly as this seems :D write yourself a letter ("Dear Self...") about how smart you are, how capable you are, how sincere and wonderful and funny and lovely you really are and then agree to take better care of you and start trusting your guts more. Then sign your name as your pledge, your commitment and hang it in some prominent place to give you reason to think about it along these lines. I know this as surely as I know my own name... You DEB... are worth it!

No not stupid at all. Mistakes are their to be made. Its how we react and learn from them
You probably needed to make this mistake so you realise never to make it again.
You'll be fine. Just go and read this thread from start to finish again and all the advice you received. It still applies.
Stay strong.

Thanks you all are so so so great!! 1
I am going to do my best to not answer to his crap.
I'm sorry I fell again... I will come out stroger.. I ALREADY DID
HUGS dEB

You go girl. I am very proud of you... You move on with your life and when it is the right one you will know it. He isn't it.

Quit sleeping with him and see if he still comes around!! Don't mean to sound rude, but it sounds to me like he is using you.

A man that could do such things to a gril is a jerk! Plain and simple , he used you as a bit on the side hunnie am sorrie to say .You ex properly was seeing his ex wife trying to build their marriage or that up behind your back .

You shouldn't meet uo with him whether he begs you or not take a stand he as been using you for the last eight months or so and was trying something different properly before he went back to his ex. He is confused about his feelings and obviously wants you as a safety net .

Get out , GET OUT no one should have to put up with such haeart ache as you over this guy even if he's being nice or not .Find someone that can love you and not leave you high and dry then come back for a little comfort after a fight change your number don't see him its hurting you more than anything think of yourself first please get out .

I say that you break up with him. I am with a guy who done this with me and another girl, except that I am in the situation of him cheating on his girlfriend with me. He stopped seeing her for a while and stopped talking to her because he was always with me instead of her. It sounds like what your saying, how he stopped seeing you for 3 weeks. Its sad how love can ruin someone's life. Trust me I've been there. Don't beat yourself up for it, because you didn't do anything, that's just how ALL guys are. ANd with the whole thing that he's telling you he's a virgin... I would use a condom just in case. Don't take a chance.. its your life that you can ruin just because of a little lie. You don't wantt an STD. I hope this helped.. and good luck <3