You, for the sake of YOU, have got to get yourself under control. You get that? Take control of yourself. You cannot do anything about what he does. It is a hard fact to face and I know EXACTLY what you are dealing with. Make a promise with yourself that you can do this, you can get over this and YOU can move on! The emotions you are having are running your life, and that isn't the right situation to make any decisions in. Give yourself time to let your emotions run their course so your mind can make a clear and concise decision based on facts and reality.

It's hard but I totally agree with kctiger. Hang in there.

It's so hard, I truly thought we were meant to be, but I guess not!

Everyone has that "meant to be relationship." Some have multiple. It becomes obvious, though tragic, that you usually only realize you 'thought' that once you break up with someone you truly loved. There isn't always a clear answer that helps make sense of this world, but there is ALWAYS a better ending awaiting... ALWAYS. That is what's great about life. It may not show you the why, but in the end you will eventually see the why not... (Yeah.. a bit confusing huh? )

Yes... lol can you simplify this?

I may be still in the denial stage, granted it has only been 3 weeks. I still though think that he's watching hockey or football on the night they are on. I know time will heal and eventually I will think of him less and less. I wonder if he thinks of me a lot too?

I just mean that as hard and unclear as it seems now, everything happens for a reason. Takes a lot of crying, and letting go of emotions to realize this, but it is true. Sherin I am in the midst of dealing with an absolutely painful break up, like yourself. I know it is hard, BELIEVE me, but once you get through the emotions, you will eventually realize that this situation WILL NOT beat you!

Yes, of course he thinks of you, but like I said he has had the time to deal with this situation since he broke up with you. It is, and believe me, will be fresh with you for a long time. Time alone will not make things better. Your pro-activeness in getting your life together will determine how you get over this devastating situation.

I am doing what I should be doing, keeping myself busy and holding my head high but it hurts, never felt hurt like this, in regards to losing someone that is still there. Over the last year I have buried numerous people all who were close to my heart and I have learned to live with the non existence of them. But to know that he is just streets away and I can't have him tears my heart out. He knows I love him and I would take car of, never cheat him, never betray and still he did this.

It is always easier to accept death, because you know that there is NOTHING you can do to fix this. There is no false hope in death. You know that you will NEVER have that person back. It is the false hope people get when they break up (or especially are dumped) that really make it hard to deal with. To know that the person you still love has moved on and that is extremely hard to accept.

Why then do I stille have hope. Yes yes because I love him I know but there is something inside, a very small something that tells me if I leave him be and let time pass that he may very well come back and admit he was wrong and want to try again

You thinking like that will only prolong the pain. I can't do anything to change your mind. I said the same thing, so I don't blame you. Hope is natural to have, after all is a part of human spirit. This kind of hope you have though is self destructive and needs to be squashed.

The way I think, yes, can be altered but my feelings are saying something different. It's like there was no real explanation all he said was "It's gunna be this way because that what I want, I love myself too much" The whole sitution is bullsH$t and I have so many feelings, sad, angry, confused, insulted, betrayed, just bad vibes. I just want it all to go away.

Who cares what he said! You need to face this. It won't go away, that is a cowardly way to think about it. Face your feelings, deal with them and emerge a better person. That is your only option. It does no good to blame him, unless you use the way the situation went down to motivate yourself to do good. Never let another person beat you! You are better than that, so MAN UP and deal with it (yes I know you are a female).

Yes I am all of that, and strong I am, but right now I feel like soft ice cream melting all over the place.

Of course you do, and that is fine. Melt all you want, but eventually you come back together and are better than ever! I am here for you and feel for your situation. It gets better, it really does.

But I cry, I cry like I've never cried before. He's not doing that. He is going to work, coming home eating dinner and watching t.v. Every day he does the same thing and now it'd just not with me. I miss watching ball together, having baths, making love, this is so painful. He doesn't want that anymore:(

Sherin I am literally going to reach through my screen and shake you!! Wake up. I know it's hard, but YOU are the one breaking yourself down. He CANNOT hurt you anymore, only you can. Do you realize that?

Him = Dead to you!

You = Only thing that matters!

You>Him : Simple Equation

Get to work and pick yourself up!

I know. You are 100% right. I have to concentrate on me from now on. What city are you in? Curious that's all!

Kansas City, Missouri

Good luck kid! Listen to the YouTube performance in my link. Guy's name is Aaron Lewis. His voice has single handedly given me an ispiration to get off my A$$. The song will make you cry a river of tears, but just listen to the lyrics.

Thank you:)

There's no guaranties on how it's going to work out when I don't know the kid. But you're best chance is to give him his space and let him figure out what he wants. The worst thing you can do for yourself is act desperate even if you really are. Everybody is different so it would be impossible to put a timeframe on there. It would be as little as a week or 2 or as much as a couple months. I was in a similar situation. My girlfriend broke up with my after 2 years. She knew I loved her and just like you said, toward the end when I told her I loved her, she said "I know" or "Yeah".. I gave her time and let her decide what she wanted and after a month she asked me out again.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by reaperkid

I gave her time and let her decide what she wanted and after a month she asked me out again.

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DO NOT try and move on or give him space thinking like this!! Move on because you can do better... move on because you want to... move on because you HAVE to. There is someone else out there, someone that would never put you in this pain. Don't move on because you think it will bring him back. Screw him!

I know that people change and maybe he has, but my feelings for him have not yet, but with time, kctiger, they will.

Understandable... just remember your feelings do not dictate who you are or the character that you have. Your feelings are irrational emotions right now.

Irrational emotions indefinatly. I'm trying my best:)

That's all you can do. You'll be fine

My mom told me that I should speak with a psychologis in regards to this situation. I don't know if I should go, I do have insecurity and jealousy issues that need to addressed cause if I don't they will haunt me on my next realtioship. I don't know if I should go?

Go, I have done it before. No shame in making yourself better, none whatsoever. The only thing that matters is that YOU become a better and stronger person. It never hurts for a professional opinion.

Did it help you. They are so expensive and my insurance only covers 200 $ a year and that's like 1 visit. I feel so weak about all this and I do know that it will get better, but...

Yes, it helped me. I used to be EXTREMELY insecure and freak out whenever my ex went out. She was off at college, I was at home working, so I was very paranoid. Helped me a lot. I actually saw a counselor of some sort and not someone who had a PHD in Psychology (probably spelled that wrong, but I hate that word). Thus it was much cheaper.

This whole time I thought you were a women. Or are you? I just wish things could have been different for us, everybody thought we were so good together and we believed it at one point too. I wish it wasn't like this as do most people who go through this type of issue. I don't want to loose my hope, but I have no other choice do I?

All man! All man! Why did you think I was a women? Yes, you must first lose your hope to find yourself. When you find yourself a whole new hope emerges...

I'm not sure. I just felt it. You are a smart MAN, just haven't met many like that. No offence. I miss him kctger, I just miss him.

I know you do. I still miss my ex as well. It will get better. Turns out I missed my 'old self' more than I actually miss her. I have changed a lot since we broke up, and I mean A LOT! I never want to go back to being the person I was.

Do you ever feel like you guys will get back together?

I don't think we will EVER get back together. She doesn't deserve me, at all. Now, there are times I wish we would get back together, but that is just the easy way out. It is easy to stick with something your comfortable with than it is to find something new. She is already dating another guy anyway. I love her to death and would do anything for her, but I am also a realist, and I now care more about myself. I have the greatest friends in the world, and I mean that 100%. I don't need her, and I never will. I realize that now.

I s there a possibility I could get back with him? I know you could kill me right now for asking but I am so hurt and I miss I'm and love him I just want to know, but you probably don't know either

There is always a possibility. Always. I can't stress enough that certain situations make you who you are. My break up has turned me into an incredible person, with even more change to come. I really NEED you to understand that by going through this you become sooo much better. It is in turmoil that we find out who we really are. Don't be afraid the dark times... cause without the bitter, life just ain't as sweet!

Also, I am only a year older than you are. I am not all knowing or some sort of relationship expert. I am going through your situation, just further along. That is the only reason I sound 'smart' right now.