Good start. A small conversation is great.

I'll be sure to update next Saturday.

Yes I'm also sure I think far too much.

For all I know, she could already have a boyfriend and just likes to be chatty at work.

That's a wise observation. But you'll never know unless you find out.

Talaniman rule- Never fall in sloppy love until after your MARRIED!!!!!! Have fun until then.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CageWalk

Hey, thanks for all the replies- guess I haven't sunk yet, so I'm still in with a chance.

I'll be going back there next Saturday to get her to order that book for me. I'll ask her to do something non-commital, like a coffee between classes. Does that sound like a plan to you cats?

And don't worry about keeping the gaze above the neckline - she had grey eyes. I'm pretty sure I spent the whole-time just awestruck at those. Cheese, I know.

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Great plan, friend.

I think coffee between classes would be the perfect first meet for your two.

Isn't it a great feeling to know a great relationship could be just over the horizon?

Lol,
Good luck

She was interested! Ask her out!

Re: TAL: "No sloppy love until married"

Interesting thought, I'll have to ponder...

UPDATE:

So today was the day I went back to the bookstore.

I went a-browsing, but find her I did not. I then ran into a friend at the bookstore and decided to go for lunch. As we're heading out the door, someone calls my name.

I turn and there she was. Evidently, I get a little flustered and caught off guard. So I fumbled a -

'Hey. I know the name of that book now, but we need to go out and grab lunch. We'll be back though.'

40 minutes later, after lunch, I go back. Again, she offers to help me find the book. This time, I'm certain I will ask her for coffee. I even know what to say, I'll ask her as I'm about to leave, that way it won't be awkward if she says no.

Things don't go as planned because instead it goes:

'So there's a local exhibition I've been meaning to catch at glenmore.' She says.

'I've heard good things about that,' says I.

'Do you want to come with me?' She asks.

... so yeah. She beat me to it. I was going to ask her at the end but I guess she thought I was going to be an ignorant taffer and not get the hint. We swapped numbers and I'll be calling her probably tomorrow night.

Good start... I would go back there the next time she was working and striking up another conversation.

Good for you!

Well, they was EASY.

You know it's funny, but often when we sense a need to ask someone out they are feeling the same thing too...

YEEEAHHHHHHHHH!

LOL! I am actually dancing with joy, and I don't even know you. Lol... Is that weird?
WOOOOHOOOO!

Go CageWalk!

Lol,
Good luck, and have fun!

... I love a good ending:)

Hey all,

Ever since I came out of a 4 year relationship I've been coming to this board with all sorts of questions, ranging from post-break up dramas, to my tentative first steps back on the dating scene. I think this question is the most difficult yet.

First of all, my girlfriend and I went on a 'break' roughly 4 months ago. She never gave me a time limit for this break or how long she wanted it to be, and the catalyst was because I found out she had been seeing someone else. It left me in a semi-limbo for awhile, because we both needed the time apart, but it seemed neither of us was sure what we really wanted. At first, it really hurt, because our relationship had been going so well until that point.

Fast forward, a little and about 3 weeks ago I met a new girl (bookstore girl, for those who remember). Things have been going quite well between us, and I am quite enamored.

All of a sudden, today I get a call from my previous girlfriend (let's call her historian, because she is a history honors student). She left me 3 Facebook messages, sent me an email. Then on her lunch break, she called me up saying 'I still love you, you know.'

I still feel so deeply loyal toward my historian-girl and I love her but I don't know whether I'm in love with her anymore. I'm very confused. I know telling her about my new friend will really hurt her, and I'm not sure if it's the right time yet. I mean, the new girl and I aren't even officially dating yet.

At the same time, I'm not sure if this sudden surge of re-interest in me is because she found out that I had been on a first date with book-store girl. (She doesn't know about our subsequent dates)

I just don't know how to deal with this situation right now. I don't know where book-store girl and I are headed, I just want to take it slow (As I said, we're not officially dating). I'm certainly not ready for a full-on long term relationship with anyone right now. And because of the dubious circumstances of our 'break' between the historian-girl and I, I'm not even sure where we stand.

Anyway, she said she'd call me after she finished work today, in about 3 hours. She sounded serious, like she wanted to talk. Can anyone help me gather me thoughts and provide an objective by-standers perspective? Thanks, I have a feeling this call when it comes, will be a turning point.

first of all

Congrats on book gril :) see I told you. It was not a dumb thing to say. Girls love silly cute guys. Hehe

You should never go back in life always move forward, even more so if she was seeing someone else,
the relationship with that other guy probable failed and now she is crawling back.

You feel guilty more than love trust me on that.
don't let her effect you. Because if she does get back with you.
then there will always be what if she goes off with someone else and leaves you in the dust again.

I think you need time away from your X girlfriend and you really need to work on yourself

even if you was to get into a relationship I don't think you would be ready, as you said

best of luck

I think if you've been on this break for four months, then you have every right to move on. You shouldn't have to wait 4 months for a girl to come back. If you're happy with this new friend, then go for it. But don't let Historian hold you back, it really isn't fair. And if you love her, but you're not in love with her, just let her know. And try to just be friends if you want her in your life. But, in my opinion Bookstore is probably what you need. Not a girl who's made you 'wait' for 4 months.

I guess the other guy didn't work out like she thought.

Honestly, if she was unsure before and now has changed her mind, SO WHAT!

Your sure about doing your thing, and having fun, so why give it all up, especially after the misery and pain you went through, to get to this point, so why throw all of that away? For what?

I've been dumped enough to know, you don't go back to what hurt you already.

You'll always have fleeting but strong feelings for your history-girl. But she needs to stay history. You're ready to start writing good new chapters in your life, and I can't imagine a better girl to write some chapters with than this "book" girl.

I love when life writes the puns for you.

History-girl is history, Book-girl is the next chapter. Love it!

Get writing.

When History-girl tries to write herself back into your book, just politely remind her you'll treasure your history AS history, and then wish her the best.

Stay free and don't commit to either girl until you know. It's great to go out with many girls as long as you are honest with them.

Well history-girl had always said that she wanted to get back with me, 'hopefully one day'. She just never said when, and we discussed the possibility that we may lose each other if we were to meet someone else during this indeterminate break.

So I guess now it's come to a turning point where I have met someone new and history girl is being provoked into action.

She wants to meet for lunch on Friday.

Thanks for all the sage advice as usual everyone.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CageWalk

She wants to meet for lunch on friday.

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So whaddya going to do? I say NC.

(May I come with and sit at a nearby table?)

Hey hey hey!!

What happened next?? Wheres the rest of the story??