Ask Me Help Desk - "Forget me"

I know of people who met good people on eharmony. I don't now how much it costs, but they are happy with the people they met, and are doing well.

It's worth a shot for you, CF. Sign up, and see how you do! Good luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

I know of people who met good people on eharmony. I don't now how much it costs, but they are happy with the people they met, and are doing well.

It's worth a shot for you, CF. Sign up, and see how you do! Good luck!!

Are there any sites which do not ask for $$$$$. Please help me out.

I Agree.. you Have To Go Out And Mingle... meet People!.

YEA.. google " free dating sites " or something like that

Quote:

Originally Posted by cfloveu

Let me try some dating sites, probably those sites which do ask for $$$$$. Locally i have not tried yet.

I just saying when you joined an online site be weary and to me you take a higher risk because people can be whoever they want to be over the internet, but again my uncle tried and on the 4th try he me his wife. Also, there's is othe avenues to try around where I live they have this thing called speed dating it work for my friend. You can google speed dating and make sure you put your city so it can find places in your area. Also,I was stating ther othe means to meeting females besides online and if your not shy then get out and mangle.

Whoever i find good and charming - are engaged. So better looking for a person who have been betrayed and is looking for a good and solid relationship. Not a relation 'where you find the man being changed and apparently you change the man.'

Don't think that only females that have been betrayed are only looking for a good man. Any female with common sense wants that. It's hard just meeting your match or someone you really can share your life with and want to share their with you as well. The hardest part is just meeting someone that has time to spend with you and especially someone who wants to spend with you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

Dont think that only females that have been betrayed are only looking for a good man. Any female with common sense wants that. It's hard just meeting your match or someone you really can share your life with and want to share their with you as well. The hardest part is just meeting someone that has time to spend with you and especially someone who wants to spend with you.

I have a question here. Here (on this site) there are so many females who have been betrayed and are looking for good man and do not want to make mistakes or do not want to continue their realtion which has hurt them. Can't I find any such female and show some kind of interest in me or in what I said ?

Not reputable ones. But, in the meantime, get your friends together, and go out and meet people. Very, very important to have human interaction in person.

CF:
Why do you want to meet women who have been hurt?. Do you think they are able to love more or something like that?. seriously I don't get it...

Quote:

Originally Posted by damaged

CF:
Why do you wanna meet women who have been hurt???...Do you think they are able to love more or something like that??...seriously i dont get it...

That is an excellent point, Damaged.

CF-whether or not a woman has been hurt is irrelevant. I know you want to be somebody's knight in shining armour, but you can do that with any woman, whether she has been hurt or not. Why the big focus on someone who is hurt? Because you got hurt? I know it would be a common ground (you hurt + someone else who was hurt) but you shouldn't limit your focus or search.

Quote:

Originally Posted by damaged

CF:
Why do you wanna meet women who have been hurt???...Do you think they are able to love more or something like that??...seriously i dont get it...

Because a heart which had known and seen the realities of life is worth to be loved for me. We learn from the mistakes.

That's why you was asking for starlite picture, thinking that maybe you might can start something?

I don't think all females on this site is burned because my friend a membe and only answer people questions because believe or not she's happily married and rarly visit here.

My question to you is that you feel the need to recuse someone after they recently been hurt and once again why do you referred the internet over human interaction, maybe you should try some chat lines.

We do learn from mistakes (well, not everybody) you're right about that... but I don't think that only women that had been hurt can love... For example: I've been hurt & I'm not ready to " fall in love" or get into a relationship because I got to think about "ME" & getting out of this hole...
IDk call me dumb but I still don't understand your intentions...

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

That's why you was asking for starlite picture, thinking that maybe you might can start something?

I dont think all females on this site is burned because my friend a membe and only answer people questions because believe or not she's happily married and rarly visit here.

My question to you is that you feel the need to recuse someone after they recently been hurt and once again why do you referred the internet over human interaction, maybe you should try some chat lines.

I would say you are right, Liz.

CF-I, like the rest of the women here on this site, are trying to make themselves stronger, heal their pain, and perhaps get back with their ex's or not, and help other people. You are missing the point of this site: IT IS NOT A DATING SITE.

IF you start talking to someone and hit it off with them on this site then that is great! (IF THE FEELING IS MUTUAL).

Me personally... I am working on myself and my issues, and yes, I would LOVE to get my ex back... but first I need to work on me, and get myself strong. So down the road, when I am healed and ready, I can be a better woman for my parter, who ever he is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

I would say you are right, Liz.

CF-I, like the rest of the women here on this site, are trying to make themselves stronger, heal their pain, and perhaps get back with their ex's or not, and help other people. You are missing the point of this site: IT IS NOT A DATING SITE.

IF you start talking to someone and hit it off with them on this site then that is great! (IF THE FEELING IS MUTUAL).

Me personally...I am working on myself and my issues, and yes, I would LOVE to get my ex back...but first I need to work on me, and get myself strong. So down the road, when I am healed and ready, I can be a better woman for my parter, who ever he is.

Very true. But if people really have to get back to their ex, then why do they leave them at the first place. When they make someone as 'Mine', then why at all they break up and if they break up why at all they wait for that 'Mine'. Beg him/her or Please him/her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

That's why you was asking for starlite picture, thinking that maybe you might can start something?

I dont think all females on this site is burned because my friend a membe and only answer people questions because believe or not she's happily married and rarly visit here.

My question to you is that you feel the need to recuse someone after they recently been hurt and once again why do you referred the internet over human interaction, maybe you should try some chat lines.

Liz, what I would have done looking at Starlits's picture. Let me tell you that when I had proposed my gal I had not seen her. And I had not seen her for an year nor did I ask for her picutre.

How old are you again how can you propose to someone you never had any human contact with? Why are you so scare to go into the world and socialize instead of a computer , that is weird to me.

Because love and relationships can be very complicated. There can be million reasons people break up, but also when two people love each other, and realize that love for one another, sometimes they work out the issues, and get back together. Love and relationships require work, whether you chose to believe this or not, they do! Even when you love someone and they love you back, you still have to work on the relationship. You have to realize two people are not the same; there will be differences.

Issues (not matter what the issues) arise in relationships, and sometimes people break up with the ones they love, and sometimes (more often than not) these people realize after the breakup of what went wrong. They then make some changes within themselves to better themselves, and because they love the person that they were with, they want to make things work... and a lot of times this can happen.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

Because love and relationships can be very complicated. There can be million reasons why people break up, but also when two people love each other, and realize that love for one another, sometimes they work out the issues, and get back together. Love and relationships require work, whether you chose to believe this or not, they do! Even when you love someone and they love you back, you still have to work on the relationship. You have to realize two people are not the same; there will be differences.

Issues (not matter what the issues) arise in relationships, and sometimes people break up with the ones they love, and sometimes (more often than not) these people realize after the breakup of what went wrong. They then make some changes within themselves to better themselves, and because they love the person that they were with, they want to make things work...and alot of times this can happen.

And in your case, it is you who need to make changes? And now is it you who had to work things with him?
Can't issues be resolved before they breakup? Someone thinks so many times before he/she falls in love, then why he/she don't think before breakup, is it because that there is always an option open to get back to the ex? They couldn' work things before but wish to work later?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cfloveu

And in your case, it is you who need to make changes? And now is it you who had to work things with him?
Can't issues be resolved before they breakup? Somone thinks so many times before he/she falls in love, then why he/she dont think before breakup, is it coz that there is always an option open to get back to the ex? They couldn' work things before but wish to work later?

Actually, it is both of us, my ex and me who need to make some changes, for ourselves, first. Because if we don't address our own issues, the relationship will keep on breaking. No matter how much love we have for each other.

Sometimes yes, issues can be resolved before a breakup, of course. But, there are times where they unfortunately can't, and a break-up occurs. Once a breakup occurs it can cause the two people (or just one, it depends) to realize 'hey I love this person, I love our relationship" and they look within themselves to see what possible changes they have to make within themselves (if any), and try and reconcile once they address the issues.

Or there are relationships that start great, then for what ever reason, the people don't want to be in it anymore, and they move on, realizing that they can find someone more compatible for them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

Actually, it is both of us, my ex and me who need to make some changes, for ourselves, first. Because if we don't address our own issues, the relationship will keep on breaking. No matter how much love we have for each other.

Sometimes yes, issues can be resolved before a breakup, of course. But, there are times where they unfortunatley can't, and a break-up occurs. Once a breakup occurs it can cause the two people (or just one, it depends) to realize 'hey I love this person, I love our relationship" and they look within themselves to see what possible changes they have to make within themselves (if any), and try and reconcile once they address the issues.

Or there are relationships that start out great, then for what ever reason, the people don't want to be in it anymore, and they move on, realizing that they can find someone more compatible for them.

And how do you think you have to fix the problem in your case?

I have to work on myself esteem, my jealousy, my neediness - for me and for my relationship, so I can be a better partner. I have to work on trust... and he needs to work on his own things too.

Granted, I should not have broken up with him, I did it because of fear that he would leave again (read my initial post). But, I need to work on my own issues.

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

I have to work on my self esteem, my jealousy, my neediness - for me and for my relationship, so I can be a better partner. I have to work on trust....and he needs to work on his own things too.

Granted, I should not have broken up with him, I did it because of fear that he would leave again (read my initial post). But, I need to work on my own issues.

And how ll he know all that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

I have to work on my self esteem, my jealousy, my neediness - for me and for my relationship, so I can be a better partner. I have to work on trust....and he needs to work on his own things too.

Granted, I should not have broken up with him, I did it because of fear that he would leave again (read my initial post). But, I need to work on my own issues.

That' good that you realize what you need to work on because anyone have their own issues. I seek help by using self help books and saw a very good therepist and she helped me a lot. Everyone has their own faults and it good when that indivual realize theirs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cfloveu

And how ll he know all that?

That's the hard part... I want to contact him so badly, but I am hoping that he contacts me first.. (I know it is a cat and mouse game). Or.. I may just reach out to him, once I am in a better place within myself, and talk to him...

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

That' good that you realize what you need to work on because anyone have their own issues. I seek help by using self help books and saw a very good therepist and she helped me alot. Everyone has their own faults and it good when that indivual realize theirs.

Thank you Liz. It honestly took my breaking up to realize this, that I have some changing to do, and because I really love this man, and myself. For the first time in my life, I love myself, or getting there...

I also owe my realizations and working on myself to all of you. You are all so great.. Never once did any of you judge me or berate me in anyway at all. You all have given me hope, strength, and friendship... I appreciate you all more than you can imagine!

Thank you!:)

Starlite,
I too think this site is great and maybe when you have time you can read my question when I first joined. I saw a therepist secretly because no one was supportive.

Hi Liz,

Of course I will. You weren't getting support here, or from the outside?

Quote:

Originally Posted by starlite1

Hi Liz,

Of course I will. You weren't getting support here, or from the outside?

I don't understand why people have physical relations before they could get married? Is love all but SEX?

Quote:

Originally Posted by cfloveu

I dont understand why people have physical relations before they could get married? Is love all but SEX?

Of course not. And having sex before marriage is a personal preference. Not everyone has sex before marriage. If they do, they do.

Quote:

Originally Posted by liz28

Starlite,
I too think this site is great and maybe when you have time you can read my question when I first joined. I saw a therepist secretly because no one was supportive.

Hi Liz,

I read your post. I would have been very upset too, if my boyfriend was calling a chat line. How are you doing?

You skipped class to talk to a woman online?

You flew to Bangkok based on an online conversation?

You slept on the road outside the college waiting for her?

It may be time to consider professional help in your healing.

Learning how to deal with people and the realities of the world or you could end up in an even worse place. You sound like you may be idealizing love and relationships by staying home and planning your life about a likely fantasy.

You are not alone... This is not unusual. Especcially in the internet age. But you need to sort out how to deal with real women in the real world. It can be scary, but do it one day at a time.

If this is a real post, get help fast my man. So, this will not happen again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BMI

Can't say that I have friend.

Ummm, perhaps you should consider what drove you to such lenghts for a girl you never met? The phrase jumping in too soon is an understatement here. Try not to confuse love and wow somebody likes me.

Oh and next time think it ALL the way through before you travel the ends of the earth looking for little miss right.....whom......you've....never......seen.

Sorry,it must suck.

Umm BMI, hello... remember me,sound familiar ay?
Where have you been,mr. deserter,lol.

Ok, Ok. I cannot be mr. popular just because it sounds right.

So. hear me out.

(hmm, Thanks for the disagree, though I am puzzled by it since you even added "you're right" to your comment :-)

Anyway, often a non-politically correct and sober perspective on a topic is what I feel I owe a person - popular or not. Call it the tough love approach on matters like this.

Cfloveu, I know you are hurting, but I really think you need to talk this out with a pro.
I think this has eclipsed the reaches of online discussion. The point here is that falling in love is not always an excuse in life. John Hinckley fell in love with Jodie Foster and he is in jail now... No, you are not a danger, but I think some practical thinking will help you in the future. We must love with our hearts and minds and then make sure it is a reality.

This was not a reality. A woman who one does not know in the far east, is by all measures a suspect venture. I would be curious to know who his last relationship was and how it ended... I think you can build on these things, but make sure you look out for yourself my man... love with the right person is a powerful thing - and in time I hope it happens for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash123

Ok, Ok. I cannot be mr. popular just because it sounds right.

So. hear me out.

(hmm, Thanks for the disagree, though I am puzzled by it since you even added "you're right" to your comment :-)

Anyway, often a non-politically correct and sober perspective on a topic is what i feel i owe a person - popular or not. Call it the tough love approach on matters like this.

Cfloveu, i know you are hurting, but i really think you need to talk this out with a pro.
I think this has eclipsed the reaches of online discussion. The point here is that falling in love is not always an excuse in life. John Hinckley fell in love with Jodie Foster and he is in jail now...No, you are not a danger, but I think some practical thinking will help you in the future. We must love with our hearts and minds and then make sure it is a reality.

this was not a reality. a woman who one does not know in the far east, is by all measures a suspect venture. i would be curious to know who his last relationship was and how it ended.....i think you can build on these things, but make sure you look out for yourself my man....love with the right person is a powerful thing - and in time i hope it happens for you.

Ash, you can never define who is that RIGHT PERSON. If anyone knew then that person wouldn have had a breakup.

My question to you is how are you defining "right?"

How well did you "know" this girl? Heard from her since?

Most relationships fail so we cannot be afraid to try. I just think you were stacking the cards against you from what I can tell.