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Its true.. the same problem happened last year when he was busy with work all the time and then we broke up and a month later he quit his job and everything was OK but now its like his *new friends* that are a problem and I would never tell him to not be with him and I never told him to quit his job he did it all in his favor
Quote:
Originally Posted by hjpan
That post wasn't there when I posted my answer. It got posted about the same time I was working on my answer
No he can't he has to be with his parents for christmas they are very tradational.. and I already tried callnig him earlier and he was busy teaching his friends how to do some homework then he had to study for math and now he's doing a math test then he's probably studying after
Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
I am confused.
What are you trying to say?
He quit his job after you 2 broke up for a month... he got new friends.. then what happened?
If he's not going to try, then dump him.Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
There's no reason why he's not going to try...
Everyone breaks a rule, either tradtional, religious, or self-explanatory...
For studying, tell him to stop and actually put effort.
I put effort in an useless relationship =/
Last year this happened because he was working too much then we broke up for month and he missed me and quit his job so we would have time to talk and whatver and then now this year ( I'm taking school years) he super busy again but now the thing taknig up his time is his friends (homework too) but friends are . And I'm afradi we r going to break up
Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
Why don't you tell him to put time for you instead of friends?
Wel Tuesday,Friday and Saturday are his friends nights... BUT whenever he studies he is always with them like they all study together which I know take more time but you do less work and like I could never tell him to not hangotu with his friends that is just wrong
Honestly, you should call it quits. He is clearly not into you and doesn't have the courage to tell you. He is like a lot of young guys his age, immature and selfish. I do not hate men and am a huge believer in instincts. You know in your heart that you need to let this one go, if you keep waiting it will only prolong the pain. If he loved you like he said he does, he wouldn't be treating you the way he's doing. His lack of care and interest in your life is his way of pushing you away in order to end the relationship. If he is a jerk enough then you will break up with him and he will not be the bad guy. I know its hard for you to put perspective on it now, but you have to take care of yourself and your happiness and it sounds like this relationship is already hurting you. It can be lonely after any break-up even with lots of friends, but with time and a little effort on your part you will move on before you know it. Go out and meet new friends and find something you enjoy doing, but whatever you do, don't stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling. You sound like a nice young girl who deserves better and needs to have higher standards. If you don't value yourself, no one else will. Best of luck to you. :)
I sense bullQuote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
Study with the same friends?
I doubt that sh*t cause everyone in college has different courses to take..
unless they are pursuing the same major...
I thought of this now..
If he's a mathematics major, how would he be helping his friend with homework if his friend is a language major?
Doesn't add up.
Tell him to straighten his schedule out cause it seems like he's not time managing properly =/
@ other users:
STOP ABUSING THE AGREE/DISAGREE..
Seriously.
Hmm... I am, isn't I?Quote:
Originally Posted by JustMarried614
Yeah and you were kind of rude to lmangileri. Lol.
Like he studies with his classes mates that have the same major :P
Rude in what way?Quote:
Originally Posted by JustMarried614
Trying to justify that my view is wrong?
There is no right or wrong in this situation. It's a matter of going back and forth.
Study on weekends too?Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
I doubt that unless he takes like 8 classes at once...
Reread the posts. Lol.
Chill out everyone and thank you for the help xoxo
He actually has 8 classes lol and he was doing an extra one at night but today was the last day of the night class
Well, tell him to not overload himself and actually spend time with you.Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
Seems like an idiot caue over-loading HURTS the mind.. I overloaded with 6 classes..
It was really stressful cause I needed to manage time for studying, the ex, and alone time.
Just trying to spread my point...Quote:
Originally Posted by h0llister
I wasn't posting with an attitude. I mean no disrespect.
Dude people stop hyjacking the thread and stop fighting!
Let him know you're thinking about break up with him, listen to his reaction if he actually cares he'll stop studying and have a conversation. No body should be upset if their girlfriend calls them.
If you're in a new town and don't know anyone, go online. There's lots of different sites out there to meet people, it's easier then the bars.
Once you move on from your old boyfriend and find someone new you can actually see and talk to and that they want to talk to you too, you'll realize how unhappy you truly were with the long distance relationship.
8 classes doesn't leave a lot of playtime, but its for his future, so recognize that he is serious about building for himself. Actually you should be doing the same, and maybe now is not the time for you to to be together.
It's the fault of no one, but that's the way it is. How you both handle this is what makes, or breaks the relationship, but clearly your in different worlds right now. That's just life.
Let him do his thing, and you do yours, and see what the future brings.
He broke up with and I can't stop crying tomorrow was suppose to be our 1year and 9months.. we haven't been able to talk much lately because he's really busy with university and he doesn't want to hurt me anymore and I'm so upset I don't want to break up and I can't stop crying I don't no what to do I love him sooooo much.. any positive advice anyone can tell me? Please nothing negative I'm really upset
Hi Hollister
Sorry to hear your predicament :(
If its any comfort just know that there are literally 1000's of people in the same situation as you right now , it hurts like hell I know but with time it does get better I promise , even though right now you probably don't think so.
Read the sticky's at the top of the forum to get some insight and advice of what to expect and do while your going through this tough time. There is also some info in my signature.
Then read the other stories on here and then just come back on here and vent when you feel the need to. There are a lot of good people onhere who will help steer you in the right direction.
I feel for you and wish you Luck!
It will get better. It's hard when it first happens but time heals all wounds. It really does. Try as hard as you can not to talk to him because that will only make it harder for yourself.
Like I just moved in a new area and I don't no anyone and my friends live so far away now and its just me and my mom and like she's always working I feel so lonely
Do you go to school at all or have a job?
I just got a job and I start Saturday but I'm not able to start school for quite some time because of money issues
Well maybe there will be people at your job that you can hang out with. I met all sorts of people at my first job, I still hang out with most of them today. I started working with them in '99 and quit in '05 so after 3 years we still make a point to hang out. It makes sense though because you spend a lot of time with the people you work with.
I know its just so hard being lonely after a breakup :( we were together for almost 2years and all his family loved me and I spend over $4,000 to see him like I put a lot of effort in it and like he did as well and it sucks for it all to go to waste. I know its not about the money but it was about the hardwork I did to make it
It sucks I know , but really you just need to start somewhere and zoemaries suggestions are good one's.
It's going to hurt for a while and there's no cure for that , but you can help yourself and make the pain go away qiucker by keeping yourself busy.
I really recommend you read a lot of the stuff on here.
I know but we barely had any problems like it was so sudden
Not only do I love him but I care so much like I'm sad even now because I know it was hard for him to do and like I'm going crazy
It was sudden for you , but you'll probably find he had been thinking about it for a while.
You don't just wake up one morning and say I'm going to break up with my GF/BF for no reason.
And you'll find he will seem to be over the whole thing fairly qiuckly and that's because he's already dealt with the emotional turmoil of the break while deciding.
He said he just felt like it was the Right thing to do...
If it makes you feel any better, my girlfriend dumped me exactly 1 week after our 2.5 year anniversary. She won't talk to me, and she just acts like we never existed. Twisted huh?
You may think that you didn't have any problems, and most people being dumped always think that it was "so sudden" (me being one of them considering she was saying how much she loved me just hours before she dumped me.) The truth is, most people that break up with you have been thinking about it for a while, they slowly let themselves get over it so that when they dump you, they can move on easier.
Has this guy seemed distant (not literally, but avoiding you, non affectionate, etc. ) that would be a big clue as to why he dumped you. It could be the stress of school, it could be distance, it could be a number of things.
The thing you have to remember is that you did not do anything wrong, you owe him NOTHING. You will have plenty of people saying go no contact, and you may find it realllly hard to do this because you're still attached. The thing you have to learn is that you can't control everything that happens to you, but you CAN control how you react.
Grab the situation by the horns, say "Screw this I'm not letting this get me down" and ignore him. I would say aim for at LEAST 1 month of no contact.
Even if he calls you or texts you, you MUST retain no contact at all costs. This is KEY to your own happiness. You may want him back so badly, but who's to say that even if you get back together that 1 month from now he does it again you know?
If you're keeping no contact from him, you'll get to see things from the big picture, not just what you're feeling at the moment. You have to think with your gut, not with your heart.
Goodluck dear, we're all in this together.
Sweetie, this is a tough time, the toughest, and it sucks, no doubt about it.
This is the worst hurt, sadness, anger, everything all rolled in to one. I'd love to say that you'll feel better tomorrow, but truth be told, you probably won't feel a great deal better for a while.
The fact that this was sudden hurts even more, and that you just moved and don't know anyone also hurts.
Everyone else has great suggestions, and I know it's hard to think about doing what's been suggested, but really, we've all been there, done that, and we know what works and what doesn't. Do something, keep busy, go to work and try to meet new people. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to, vent, vent, vent all those feelings out. We're here when you need us, okay?
One thing that I find works really well is to start a journal. Write everything down, everything you're feeling, sometimes it helps to put it on paper. I bet that a month from now, if you read what you wrote on the first page, you'll realize that you've come a far way.
Time heals all wounds, it's trite, but true.
Take care, and remember, we're here for you. :)
Friend is correct... the one making the decision to break up has usually dwelt on it for a while and is more prepared for it than the other one is.
If it is any consolation, the one making the decision has to live with the decision and will probably be asking themselves if they made the right choice for a long time to come. Yes, he was prepared and did make the choice to end it and you feel terrible now. But you did nothing wrong from what I can see, you seem like a very nice person, you will hurt for awhile, then you will get over it, I promise. He, on the other hand will have to face his decision for a long time to come.
Believe me, you will smile again.
Stringer
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