Ask Me Help Desk - She said she wants some time- because of her own insecurities

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chery

Whether you want this to end 'on good terms' or not is not under your control. She has a right to be angry.

Love is tough, and we don't always get what we want, so get over it and let her heal and move on.

Next time you just want a friend - be up-front and say so. If you are not ready to commit, stick to safe one-night stands.

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot?

Better luck next time, but leave this one alone and let her have a good life once she has healed.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_2_108.gifWanting a dog to lick your toes after kicking it is not logical and very selfish.

P.S. None of my ex's hate me, but they'll never forget me either.

First off, I didn't break her heart. Read my previous posts on how the relationship ended. I think you think I broke her heart in a million pieces, which if that was the case then yes she does have a right to be angry.

None of my ex's hate me because they all dumped me--they all used the standard break-up lines that haunt everyone on this board. However, I don't hate any of them. At first I was really angry for what they did to me, for putting me through all the pain that comes along with a break-up, but now I couldn't care less.

Listen, even though you had good reasons for breaking up the relationship you are still the one who ended it so in her eyes you are at fault for her pain. She is the dumpee and you are the one who dumped her. It's okay though, with time this will all pass. If you truly care about her then just let her be. If you try to contact her just to let her know you don't want to harbor any bad feelings and you still want to be friends then things will only become worse. Even though your intentions are good, the method and the outcome are bad. As harsh as it sounds, the only way for her to heal is for you not to be around.

Don't worry about it and don't contact her. If she hates you that's her problem and it's not your responsibility.

Thanks a lot for the compliment Chery! Quick question, on the topic of exes I remember reading one of your posts that said one day in your apartment complex you ran into an ex-boyfriend of several years prior and that eventually he became the one you married. Is that the case? I'm truly sorry if I made a mistake, but I was just wondering if that was you.

Hate me Hell Yes this is why:
1. I did NC from day one and NEVER iniated any Contact
2. I rejeced all attemps for her to "reach out".
3. I never chased, begged, pined (openly) or made any attempt to reconcile, even when she had a serious car accident. I told my daughter to give her my best. That's it.
4. I never allowed her to use my 3 daughters as pawns in her games.
5. I rebuilt my life around me.
6. I reconnected with my support people (All Females) who she hated and found threatened by.
7. I have a newby 8 years younger than me (6 than her)
8. My youngest Daughter rejected her and demanded to live with me. (Here is a tip, always remain dignified, let them freak out in rage).
9. If she ever does contact in a rage I hang up and don't answer the phone.
10. I have freedom I never had before.
11. I applied for a Domestic Violence Order against her for verbal abuse and threats.
12. I don't play any emotional blackmail, Power struggle or control games she throws my way.
13. I look better than I ever did
14. I have Great Self Esteem compared to her poor self esteem. She knows it and is jealious of it.
15. No matter what she throws at me, I say bring it on, I can take it.

Yer, that's about it. She hates me. But really who cares, while she is spending all her time hating me to everyone who will listen, I am out there enjoying my life. That gets under her skin more.
Cheers

Quote:

Originally Posted by confused25

Thanks a lot for the compliment Chery! Quick question, on the topic of exes I remember reading one of your posts that said one day in your apartment complex you ran into an ex-boyfriend of several years prior and that eventually he became the one you married. Is that the case? I'm truly sorry if I made a mistake, but I was just wondering if that was you.

No hon, that was not me. I'm the one who lives in the same building as my ex and he chased me twice and I fell for it twice - now he rejects me and changed his lock because I have cancer. I don't think he hates me, he is just a chicken-**** who is scared and wants a machine who performs better, but he has to see me and accept that I am doing fine without him (better as a matter of fact) each day, and that's revenge enough for me right now. People like him will get their due - he's lonlier than I am and will always be.

My daughter is the one who got married - to his son in 1999, and is divorced now since last year. The son is OK and I rent my place from him, so that makes his dad a bit upset too - oh.. revenge is sweet sometimes.

Take care, dear,until next time.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Quote:

Originally Posted by AustProd6

Hate me Hell Yes this is why:
1. I did NC from day one and NEVER iniated any Contact
2. I rejeced all attemps for her to "reach out".
3. I never chased, begged, pined (openly) or made any attempt to reconcile, even when she had a serious car accident. I told my daughter to give her my best. That's it.
4. I never allowed her to use my 3 daughters as pawns in her games.
5. I rebuilt my life around me.
6. I reconnected with my support people (All Females) who she hated and found threatened by.
7. I have a newby 8 years younger than me (6 than her)
8. My youngest Daughter rejected her and demanded to live with me. (Here is a tip, always remain dignified, let them freak out in rage).
9. If she ever does contact in a rage I hang up and don't answer the phone.
10. I have freedom I never had before.
11. I applied for a Domestic Violence Order aginst her for verbal abuse and threats.
12. I don't play any emotional blackmail, Power struggle or control games she throws my way.
13. I look better than I ever did
14. I have Great Self Esteem compared to her poor self esteem. She knows it and is jealious of it.
15. No matter what she throws at me, I say bring it on, I can take it.

Yer, thats about it. She hates me. But really who cares, while she is spending all her time hating me to everyone who will listen, I am out there enjoying my life. That gets under her skin more.
Cheers

It's easy to get their goat, isn't it? Your ex sounds a lot like someone I had a short fling with years ago. The more steadfast I remained, the crazier she became. In fact, I do think she was literally hospitalized for a while about a year after I last saw her.

U should just tell her that u want to be friends with her
And not get back into a relationship
And if she still is acting weird that show her immaturity