For control. She wants you to always think about her regardless of how or what she feels for you. Just keep ignoring her, and don't let her know it gets to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggie83
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For control. She wants you to always think about her regardless of how or what she feels for you. Just keep ignoring her, and don't let her know it gets to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggie83
With a stroke of a key, she can shake your world, send her to spam. She will make a pest of herself to stay on your mind, the reasons are her own, but meant to confuse and distract you. An infantile way of getting your attention. Ignore her, and stay on your path.
Man that's rough. Lucky for me, my ex is with some other guy... so she doesn't REALLY play mind games... nor is she really the type to play games like that.
She sent me an e-mail explaining our breakup, and that was it. But I guess we'll see what happens when she realizes that the new guy sucks and we get back to school.
Hang in there big guy. Good luck.
Yeah it is rough, I mean we have had a break before (down to me) and she just disappered and I had to do all of the work to get there back, of the three times (in three months) no contact has been broken its been down to her!
Well I haven't heard of her being with anyone, its not my business but if she was she would have no need to text me things like that... I know it was just a chain text but saying things like send this to all of the people you love and don't want to lose in 2008 has really messed me up!
Yeah I feel you. For now, do your own thing. Go get a buddy to go on a run with you, or go to the gym, or even go out for drinks or watch a movie. I know that the days are fine, and the nights are rough... at night, I used to just go to the gym until I couldn't lift my arms... come home, shower, and just pass out.
Ignore it. Let her wonder what you're doing. Don't let it get to you!!
Yeah that's a good idea, I can't work out at the moment I've done some damage to my hip, I a good runner and do about 10-15 miles per week but for six weeks that's a no-no!
The best thing I can do is ignore it, it will make her see I'm not there to rely on all of the time and if she don't want me back I'm gone for good, its just so hard not to react when you still feel for someone so much! It will be driving her mad because I didn't text her nor did I text her at xmas and new year so maybe she's getting the message I don't know!
There you go. As for me, my ex hasn't contacted me at all... no xmas... no new year's... only one e-mail after we broke up. So I guess... NC isn't that hard. Only thing is, I feel like I'm not "gaining" the power... which kind of sucks. I was expecting her to call/text and things of that nature... hmm
It's all right. She does her thing. I'll do mine. If we meet again, I guess we'll see what happens.
Good on you my friend that's the attitude to have, with life you never know what's happening next!
I'd have rather had it your way to be honest at least she's been honest and let you be in so letting you begin to heal in your own way, my ex has came in and out of my life since the split, I don't even think she knows what she wants but me begging isn't going to help no one so I'm doing nothing and getting on.
Im not too sure who has the power in my relationship I just know that although it hurts what I'm doing is best for me with or without her in the long run!
I agree: you've got to look out for you in the relationships. You get too carried away with being with her, if she isn't honest, you are in big trouble. Way to go.
Well my ex isn't honest, I never know what she's thinking or feeling its always a game, trying to figure her out, so I've given up on trying to figure it out all I care about is what I'm thinking and feeling and right now that's doing the trick... I'll have bad days I know that but I'm getting there... I think!
Well, she hasn't been honest. In fact, she's denied the new relationship... to me and her friends. So no one really knows what's going on... but the signs are there: she's been spotted driving his car... he's been spotted leaving her room (she lives in a dorm) in the morning... etc. but I don't really care. Whatever she does, she does. I'm sure she's keeping it a secret to escape judgment from her friends/family.
Anyway, it's a new year! Girls don't think about how their gameplan might backfire. They think IF I PLAY MIND GAMES WITH HIM, HE'LL COME BACK.. . what if he doesn't? Women. Psh.
There have been some wonderfully, excellent statements made on AMHD the past few weeks by women who love their men; there is no question about how they feel and what they are willing to do. If your girl is causing you confusion and your stomach is not feeling good, you've got big-time issues. We need to call a spade a spade.
Sneeze: Sorry to hear that man, nobody should be lied to like that, keep you head up you seem like a good guy and I'm a firm believer in good things happen to good people!
George:im a bit confused... what are you trying to say, it might just be me reading it wrong, I'm a bit stupid today! Lol
She is confusing me about what she wants from me, its like if you don't want to be with me stop contacting me, surely she knows that's what's best for both of us and I have already told her not to bother me and I won't bother her.
Im not letting it get to me I'm just getting on with things and IF (BIG, BIG IF) she decides she wants to get me back she has work to do I have nothing to prove to anyone least of all myself! As things stand its over and I'm working towards making me feel better about myself I don't need her for that, it just feels a little up in the air whenever she breaks N/C
I was getting the train to work this morning and my ex gets on the same train, she was way out of her normal route, she must have driven out of her way to get there, she hovered around me I just stood listening to my iPod and ignoring her then when she saw me (she didn't know I saw her) she went to the other end of the platform!
She's sent me that stupid text to get my attention now when she sees me she freezes and sneaks around me to avoid speaking, is this because I've not text her back and she's frightened to talk to me?
Could it be your healing has her confused, even more?
I don't know I haven't got a clue anymore! lol! Maybe, maybe she hasn't heard from me so has gone for a chance meeting but when she's seen me she's got frightened to talk to me face to face I really don't know.
What do you think tman?
I think after all the time she has spent with you, she is alone now. The grass was not greener on the other side, so she is returning to her familiar, and reliable, YOU. Does that mean you should open that door again, NO, heal first and then make a decision on what direction you want to go. She may just want your friendship and support. Well you asked.
Good answer, I think I'm staying out of it and staying away from her unless she contacts me directly about us, I also think your right I'm at that 50-50 stage where one moment I want her back and the next I don't so I have to take a little step back from it for a while.
I also think your right that she's had her fun and the party season is over she's starting to miss the relaibility, well I'm not that easy to turn I might have in the past but not now I'm stronger, I'm no longer a lap dog!
Well she isn't getting friendship or support from me she gave those up when she left so if that's what she wants she's not going to be very happy!
I'm kind of weirded out about the whole "go out of her way to get on your train" then "run away when she sees you" thing. If she knew you didn't see her... why did she run away? It's like going all the way to the store to buy milk, then go to the milk aisle, then turn back. Why..
She probably felt stupid when he was ignoring her as he was listening to his iPod.Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Yeah I mean all she had to do was tap me on the shoulder, I'm not a nasty person I would have at least given her some polite conversation, but I didn't want to make the first move and look like I was desperate to talk to her
I mean maybe it was a coincidence but it does seem weird that she turned up there it is quite far out of her way
Had to spread the love but I think your right LOL!:DQuote:
Originally Posted by mafiaangel180
I'm not too sure you guys it could have been a coincidence, these things do happen and I couldn't see her car park which may suggest she was dropped of by someone and I've heard nothing from her since... maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part I mean I've heard nothing from her as yet, do I expect some sort of contact in the coming week(s)?
What do I do now nothing? I really don't now what's for the best!
Any advice on what I do next folks?
You wrote: "i mean maybe it was a coincidence but it does seem weird that she turned up there it is quite far out of her way." I don't believe in coincidences.
You wrote: "I didn't want to make the first move and look like I was desperate to talk to her" You aren't desperate; you are one of us.
Advice: When in doubt, NC.
I think you right I should go continue with no contact
Well I've just got a new cell phone, I text her the number but just saying this is my new number, she got the same text as my mother so it was nothing special. I know I've broken N/C but I didn't make a direct connection I didn't mention our relationship or make it personal in any way and won't text her again! I wished I hadn't text her at all it was a moment of total stupidity!
Ive left it at that and now it's continued N/C until she breaks it, if she doesn't then so be it
Oh damn, that was a bad move. In my opinion anyway. To me, what you did made a statement. It shows that you don't think highly enough of yourself to think she could possibly get in contact with you without a phone number! If she wants you, she will get ahold of you regardless of knowing your cell phone number. I mean, I know it's the communication age and all, but believe it or not, there is such as thing as her going to your house, contacting one of your relatives perhaps, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggie83
Your 100% right! Its made me look weak when I was doing so well... I only have myself to blame I should have put some distance between us it may avoid a lot of confusion on my part.
Yeah I know it was stupid! I really wished I hadn't done that all I can say in my defence is that it just looks as if I sent the same text to everyone in my phone book and hers was no different to anyone else's but I still regret it now! I haven't heard anything back from her which I wasn't expecting anyway if I'm being honest.
Ce la vie I can't take it back! Back to N/C!
That's the very reason its good to delete her number. It only took you seeing her to get a new cell, and contact her, and with such lame excuse. Your trying to get her to call you so, now what? Its one thing to be dishonest with us, but I know your not dishonest with yourself.
You gave her your new number for that exactly, no matter how contrite you say you are.Quote:
maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part I mean I've heard nothing from her as yet, do I expect some sort of contact in the coming week(s)?
I had already ordered my new cell the day before I saw her, it arrived and I text everyone in my phone book I really wished I hadn't now I mean like you said in previous posts she can send me her spam and mess me about. I think me seeing her made a lot of feelings I thought I had the better of come to the surface and in a moment of weakness I snapped!
I have now deleted her number from my phone and I do not know it so I can no longer text her when drunk, lonely etc.
Back to N/C it's the only thing I can do and I was doing well I'm so disappointed in myself today!
Yeah, even though you wanted it to appear that you gave it to everyone, all it shows her is that she is important enough to get your new number. She totally thinks you aren't over her cause putting myself in your ex's shoes, I would be thinking... "he totally wants me." Then I would be getting all full of myself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggie83
Well maybe your right (sigh! ) there's nothing I can do now, its back to N/C and I have no real desire to get in touch with her now... I know I shouldn't have done it but its too late, we've all made mistakes and emotionally I'm not in as much turmoil as I have been in the past so that's some progress!
N/C is the only way to bring he back down to earth then so it's that for me from now on (smile)!
That's the right answer, you'll be okay, just stay on that path.
Keep on the No Contact role, it seems she is testing the waters a bit to see if she still has you on the strings. I could be wrong, but that's how it appears to me from reading. If you stay with No Contact things might get even better... For some reason most women like it when they are ignored... Strange concept.. You give them attention they walk, treat them badly.. They stick around
Yeah I think your right I'm moving myself away best I can, I know I made a mistake but its done now and I'm quite comfortable with no contact right now as its helping me get stronger. I'm also getting more comfortable in my own company I don't need someone there all of the time... I just read books whatch movies etc and relax
Well its treat them mean, keep them keen isn't it. The more you push the less they want and the more you pull away they get interested!
Naw, not at all. That's a losers lament. A healthy man with a happy balanced life, doesn't have to treat them mean, and keep them keen.Quote:
Well its treat them mean, keep them keen isn't it. The more you push the less they want and the more you pull away they get interested!
As pathetic as it is, and as much as I hate to bash my own gender, that statement is true a majority of the time.Quote:
Well its treat them mean, keep them keen isn't it. The more you push the less they want and the more you pull away they get interested!
Not treat them mean, but if you play it off and don't pursue.. The flock like birds, but if you give them attention they go elsewhere... That's just what I have seen.
No that's just a phrase used in England it doesn't literally mean be mean to them its just like you said not being interested sparks interest!
Less is more so to speak!
Oh OK.. I was like great now people are going to think I treat girls like trash to get them to stick around ha ha
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