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I'm sorry, I'm just filled with a false sense of hope that I'll get her back, like I did all those other times.
I'm so messed up. Every waking moment I think of her, even when I think I'm not, I am..
I've dreamt of her 2/5 nights this week.. after the break up.
Did she do this to me?
Man, you are not listening. Try to breathe.
Did she do this to you??
What kind of question is that? She broke up again and you freaked out again.
GET A CALENDAR AND START MARKING THE DAYS TOMORROW.
After 90 days you will feel differently if you go NC.
And it will get better along the way if you just allow the pain in - and just survive it.
>_<
How can someone go from loving you (or at least acting like it)
To hating you the next day...
She's ignoring me completely, anything I try to do..
She even told me
"Leave me alone, I dont want you, ever."
Ever heard of the phrase "there is a thin line between love and hate". I think it is very accurate. My ex told me that she hopes I died in jail alone and now she wants to be friends. When people get angry they are capable of saying and doing many irrational things.Quote:
Originally Posted by FallenKnight
Love is like heaven..
But it sure can hurt like hell.
Ok, don't take this the wrong way... but I am starting to understand the feelings in her statement.
You keep going back over and over and over... until she, or a poster here - finally will do anything to get you to accept reality... and that's when harsh words come out: If you let it go, you will begin to heal... until then , you may hear me or her or someone else say: "leave it alone..."
Your speculating about things that it's not time to think about... she just wants space - space - space... and she will say or do anything to achieve that.
And yes, love hurts A LOT... but feeding the pain is not healthy - and hurts you more.
This is your 4th break-up with her, not your first. So, it's not a total shock.
... So, try to learn from this.
It's.. different this time..
the 1st break up lasted 2 days, after the first day we started talking again, and then decided to try again..
the second time lasted for about a week, but after the second day, she told me she regreted it, and we talked for a bit longer, and got back together.
the third time, lasted for two weeks, because one week of that she was away on a trip. Where she kept a journal, and wrote about me the whole week, and when she came back we got back together... its different this time..
its been almost a week.. the first 2-3 days, I could talk to her, and she would talk to me like she had just met me, very distant.. this is where I would beg.. but now I can't contact her at all. =/
It hurts more now, than it ever did before.
The answers are in the posts you've received and my guide below.
If you get a calendar you may make some progress... and may even be surprised at how much better you get as days go by.
Did you get it?
Do you have any friends?
Do you have 2 parents?
Do you have schoolwork?
You need to realize that there are things you are abandoning, and need to show them and others that you are not ignoring them - and want to grow up and heal.
I realize that I deserve better, and that I'll get over her in time. I realize this...
But yet I still can't help but want her back..
What's wrong with me?
Forget worrying about a way to find out if she will come back. Be more concerned about no longer communicating with her and doing things just for yourself. If you look at the first time that you got together, no matter how much you probably would like to deny it, she was emotionally unstable. She was just out of a relationship with the last guy and then jumped right in to one with you. As you can see by the feelings that you are experiencing now, when we either end a relationship or are broken up with, we require a period to allow these feelings to vent so that we can analyze them and learn from them before taking the next step. She didn't take that time to do this. She took what she thought was the easy route, and got involved with you. She never had to go through the process of being alone and having to feel the effects of either ending a relationship/being broken up with. She was able to have you there and not have to worry about the pain and sorrow (even though she ended the last relationship, she still felt pain and sorrow... and she may still as we speak). She was able to have a someone else there for her, without even having to work for it. If you had the option to get $50 for free or get $50 to do work, you could obviously take the free money. This is basically what she did, and unfortunately you were the free $50. Your heart was invested, but to her she was just there for the free goods without having to work through the pain and sorrow to get it.
She also told you that she was annoyed with you. If you hear an annoying sound, what do you generally do? Try to stop it or do whatever you have to do to block it out. Unless you are getting slapped in the face with $100 bills, there aren't too many annoying things that we enjoy and tolerate. So, her being annoyed, just goes to show that even if she did come back for a fifth time, the result will most likely be the same as the previous 4. Perhaps she has issues and it doesn't take much to annoy her. And if that is the case, well, its difficult to be able to tolerate someone like that.
Of course she is still going to love you, and if she can't find someone else, she will most likely always come back for the free $50 again, but to be honest, I don't think that this girl ever had her heart fully invested in your relationship. From your post it appears that you are a very reasonable and caring person who would do anything for her. She knows this and that explains why she may randomly tell you she loves you still, like she did when you accidentally txt'd her that time. So unfortunately, your good heart and good nature, makes you vulnerable, and she pounces on that vulnerability whenever she wants to. Don't wait around. Move on and take care of yourself, and let someone come along that appreciates your good nature, instead of finding it annoying.
As far as trying not to think about her... put everything away that reminds you of her... anything from pics, to candles, to shirts, and so on... get them out of your site and put them in a place in which you won't see them at all as you go about your daily routine. Erase all of the txt messages you still have saved from her and change her name in your phone book from the nickname you may have given her, to her actual name. Sure you will think about her and every time you hear a song or see a TV show, that the two of you watched or listened to often, but over time, you will be able to view these things in a different light. Create a routine to follow based around things that have nothing to do with her, and that won't remind you of her. The gym is always great, because you release all that is built up inside you, you build your confidence back up (because whether you want to admit it, you are at a low point right now), and you are making a healthier you. Make a playlist of songs that are upbeat and make you feel good. Traveling is also a great thing to do as well. But, no matter what make a schedule for yourself, and stick by it! Discipline will help you get over her.
It won't get easier over night, but it will get easier as long as you work at it. Stay focused and set goals for yourself.
Forget worrying about a way to find out if she will come back. Be more concerned about no longer communicating with her and doing things just for yourself. If you look at the first time that you got together, no matter how much you probably would like to deny it, she was emotionally unstable. She was just out of a relationship with the last guy and then jumped right in to one with you. As you can see by the feelings that you are experiencing now, when we either end a relationship or are broken up with, we require a period to allow these feelings to vent so that we can analyze them and learn from them before taking the next step. She didn't take that time to do this. She took what she thought was the easy route, and got involved with you. She never had to go through the process of being alone and having to feel the effects of either ending a relationship/being broken up with. She was able to have you there and not have to worry about the pain and sorrow (even though she ended the last relationship, she still felt pain and sorrow... and she may still as we speak). She was able to have a someone else there for her, without even having to work for it. If you had the option to get $50 for free or get $50 to do work, you could obviously take the free money. This is basically what she did, and unfortunately you were the free $50. Your heart was invested, but to her she was just there for the free goods without having to work through the pain and sorrow to get it.
She also told you that she was annoyed with you. If you hear an annoying sound, what do you generally do? Try to stop it or do whatever you have to do to block it out. Unless you are getting slapped in the face with $100 bills, there aren't too many annoying things that we enjoy and tolerate. So, her being annoyed, just goes to show that even if she did come back for a fifth time, the result will most likely be the same as the previous 4. Perhaps she has issues and it doesn't take much to annoy her. And if that is the case, well, its difficult to be able to tolerate someone like that.
Of course she is still going to love you, and if she can't find someone else, she will most likely always come back for the free $50 again, but to be honest, I don't think that this girl ever had her heart fully invested in your relationship. From your post it appears that you are a very reasonable and caring person who would do anything for her. She knows this and that explains why she may randomly tell you she loves you still, like she did when you accidentally txt'd her that time. So unfortunately, your good heart and good nature, makes you vulnerable, and she pounces on that vulnerability whenever she wants to. Don't wait around. Move on and take care of yourself, and let someone come along that appreciates your good nature, instead of finding it annoying.
As far as trying not to think about her... put everything away that reminds you of her... anything from pics, to candles, to shirts, and so on... get them out of your site and put them in a place in which you won't see them at all as you go about your daily routine. Erase all of the txt messages you still have saved from her and change her name in your phone book from the nickname you may have given her, to her actual name. Sure you will think about her and every time you hear a song or see a TV show, that the two of you watched or listened to often, but over time, you will be able to view these things in a different light. Create a routine to follow based around things that have nothing to do with her, and that won't remind you of her. The gym is always great, because you release all that is built up inside you, you build your confidence back up (because whether you want to admit it, you are at a low point right now), and you are making a healthier you. Make a playlist of songs that are upbeat and make you feel good. Traveling is also a great thing to do as well. But, no matter what make a schedule for yourself, and stick by it! Discipline will help you get over her.
It won't get easier over night, but it will get easier as long as you work at it. Stay focused and set goals for yourself.
Thank you, it's a lot more clear to me now =] I'll keep you updated if she contacts me.
Until then.. N/C for me
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