Im no hero, just a guy trying to clean up some wet work. Im not going to back down but I do have a question. What if my ex is one of those girls that doesn't want me to back down and ended up contradicting herself and really wants me to tell her how much I care about her and that I want her back. What do I do then? What if we are both playing the NC game waiting for one of us to crack first. Im still going to keep it up though I feel I owe it to myself and give her what she wanted in the first place. I was just thinking about that. But sports and weight lifting were a part o my life. I was raised to be and think a winner and even if deafeated to raise my head and stick up high (played a lot of hockey) and know that it was meant to end that way only to come back stronger and wiser to win the next game. Thanks

This separation time may be just the ticket. It will come together as it should in due time if it is meant to be.

Thanks that puts me at ease a bit, but I can't use that as a 100% positive thing and hope for cause it might not happen but I get where your coming from

You're in the right frame of mind, so you are going to fine either way.

Well I wasn't thinking about becoming a physco killer if u were thinking that... (sarcasm) lol, but easy comes and easy goes

I never thought that. You're looking at things in their proper perspective. You're not obsessing, you're moving forward. That is a big plus in your favor.

Lol boy oh boy did I ever learn about the obessessing 2 ex's ago WOW not a good thing. Just amagine hunting and if you chase your prey what's the chance you are going to get it lol. And thanks for talking with me, it helps a lot

Happy to know I was helpful.

Update: Well nothing big here just trying to drain some time before work. But it has been a week since she dumped me. I felt the affects of being a bit upset when I first woke up this mourning. So far I feel very irritable and have a feeling it might continue during the day. But who can comlain I guess right. I guess me knowing it has been a week it is like a hangover to me right now and will probably go away as the day goes along or even tomorrow. Keep the head up high and always smile I suppose. Least ill see my friends at work today:)

It's like a drug addiction. You go through withdrawal. Eventually it subsides and you move past it and you become stronger. That's why the no contact things is crucial. I think someone in this forum said that before but I am stealing it and giving no credit.

I think the thing that is killing me a bit is well I miss her but she is the first girl I have done anything sexual with (im turning 19 on the 30th) We didn't have sex but we did certain things for pleasure. But ohh well what can you do eh. Nothing to do tonight really even though it is a Saturday. Im tired from work and I'm not in to the whole bar and drinking thing, I am an athletic whore lol. So I think I'm just chilling tonight by myself watching some Hockey and Comedy channels to get a laugh or to and hit the sack early to study for mid-terms tomorrow. Peace

Update: Well today went as good as yesterday went lol Not much going really. You know sometimes I look at my phone waiting for her to text or call me... but then I basically slap myself in the face and say something like *suck it up damn it, you did nothing wrong she wanted space I'm giving her what she wants, I'm not the problem*. But oh boy like yesterday was I REALLY Irritable today. If my parents asked me something more than once like they usually do I would raise my voice to them. I felt just 100% pissed off today. I can't wait to go to the gym tomorrow and unleash finally.

K well now my head feels like it is going to blow. I found out from a source already either 1. She said she wanted space and in fact she liked another guy, or 2. She is already dating another guy after a week we broke up. I feel shattered right now. I feel just hopeless and stuff. I feel so emotional right now, sad, depressed, and anger. I don't know what to do. I think Will Smith put it best in the movie Hitch "One moment your gliding on air and the next your standing in the rain watching your life fall apart" I feel rotten :(

I know how you feel. I've been preparing myself for such news. It hasn't come and I'm not searching for it. But I do try to brace myself for such news. I tell myself that it doesn't matter. It doesn't change the situation much. You guys are still broken up, you still have to focus on yourself, you will be a stronger person after. If she is with someone else, it has no bearing on the type of man you are. It shows how weak she is. Some people always need someone to be around to make themselves feel better.

I felt all of those emotions you described when I saw a picture of her having a good time, soon after the break up. Take a walk, talk to your friends, do something to get your emotions out. Good luck to you brother. Stay strong.

HUH... wow now I feel fine LMAo who knew. Kind of weird I guess I went in to a state of shock when I found out but now I don't know I feel fine... I feel free, and a sigh of relief really... or am I in a state of shock still cause I don't know I actually feel pretty good now. Hey if she wants to do that fine by me. Now that I think about it she ain't much of a good person to dump me over a text message... I feel sorry actually for the next guy LOL... why do I feel so good I have to idea lol. Thanks Man

That's great, I wish you can share some of that feeling with me. For someone to break up via text, that person is not worth your time. You deserve better than that.

I'd take what she says at face value. Give her the space she needs, sit away from her in class and on the bus and don't have any contact with her. Also get out and meet new people and get involved in other activities. Build yourself a life without her. This is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

No duh I'm going to give her the space lol. I started sitting away from her in class and on the bus. Seeing her face now is like me and country music, if I hear any of it it makes me want to take a gun and blow my brains on the sidewalk lol I can't stand that stuff. HMMM I wonder why I am taking this so well actually... Maybe I'm just in shock at it'll hit me tomorrow... I don't know I just feel good right now for some reason like I can lift the world above me shoulders, I have no idea lol it's like I feel I should be sad but I'm not... talk about your all time backfires lol

Well keep up the no contact... just because you see her doesn't mean you HAVE to talk to her, or even interact with her. It will get even easier.

Update: Well I woke up today feeling a bit... awkward... a bit down and a bit well funny feeling. I was pissed at first but then I merely shrugged me shoulders and just said to myself *hey her loss really, she wanted and I gave it to her. I did nothing wrong and if she wants to act this way like a child then so be it, I don't need a relationship to feel secure. She's missing out on a great person and I bet there are plenty of other girls at university that would be glad for them to call me their boyfriend.* I actually kind of feel sorry for the new guy actually cause rebounds usually suck anyway, least from what I heard.

Anyway I was listening to some song today and I actually listened to the lyrics lately and surprised about how much they could mean that one day she's realise she screwed up, might be tomorrow, next week hell even in a few months but she'll realise it

For instance Burn inside My Light

*I gave and you taked and I waited for you but I made a mistake.
It's clear that your fear is so near because I see the look on your face.
You tried holdin' me under, I held my breath.
Alone and now you wonder what I possess.*
I guess you can say for this song that either way one day the idea of me will pop in her head and realise what I really did bring to the table and miss it.

And Justin Timberlakes song

*You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call him
All you get's a busy tone
I heard you found out
That he's doing to you
What you did to me
Ain't that the way it goes
You cheated girl
My heart bleeds girl
So it goes without saying that you left me feeling hurt
Just a classic case
A scenario
Tale as old as time
Girl you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody
To cure the lonely nights
You wish you had somebody
That could come and make it right
But girl I ain't somebody with a lot of sympathy
You'll see*

That's pretty much self explanitory. I just got to keep my head up high and keep simling and know I am that damn good! Lmao Later

Yeah music is wonderful in its capacity to help with healing. I think I started turning for the better when I picked up Ok Computer by Radiohead, I had never heard of them but they blew me away and I got thus far addicted to their music.

Lol nice. Yea once you actually pay attention you realise how it can help you in everyday life. Oh well relationship went down the crapper meh oh well, it's not like I am dying here or something. A new day for the sun to shine and wake up to.

Yeah, you'll see it slowly subside. The crazy part is that the stronger you feel the more confident you become. At least for me. I get down every once in a while still but honestly speaking, I am way more confident now than I was when me and my ex were still together. In any case stay strong.

I think sometimes I get TOOO confident lol. I think that is a minus for me I think I need to tone it down just a bit, like offt I know I'm not the best thing in this world but sometimes I like to think it for some reason makes me feel good.

UPDATE: I hope you guys/girls don't mind me doing these... lol just keeping you posted. Well anyway I have been feeling pretty darn good lately. Haven't talked to my ex for 2 weeks and feel really good. I heard some news that she might be dropping out of university for one year cause she feels she is not *ready* so I guess that is a plus for me, for healing faster. As for other things, they've been going good, I've been hitting on other girls already, and I think one might like me so far. Just kind of a gut feeling really. Anyway I'm surprised how well I am taking this really. Thanks for the help and ill keep you posted if anything else happens. Peace

Good for you! Keep up the good work.

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Originally Posted by alpha_zero

UPDATE: i hope you guys/girls dont mind me doing these...lol just keeping you posted. Well anyways I have been feeling pretty darn good lately. Haven't talked to my ex for 2 weeks and feel really good. I heard some news that she might be dropping out of university for one year cause she feels she is not *ready* so i guess that is a plus for me, for healing faster. As for other things, they've been going good, ive been hitting on other girls already, and i think one might like me so far. Just kind of a gut feeling really. Anyways im surprised how well i am taking this really. Thanks for the help and ill keep you posted if anything else happens. Peace

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Her dropping out of the university is related to the reason why she broke up with you. Same thing happened with my last girlfriend. She broke up with me dropped out of school and tried to become a stewardess. I think it's like an identity crisis. That's why I think relationships while both or one are young are hard to keep. A lot of young people haven't really found themselves yet. I didn't get it either but overtime I realized she was just scared with the possible outlook of having to deal with all these stressors. I was a stressor and so was school so both were nixed. Doesn't mean the other person is a bad person more so that they weren't sure or happy with their current situation. You look like you're healing well. Keep up the good work, you're probably inspiring many people on this forum. Take Care.

Well I don't know cause I think either she was dating me and another guy or after a week we broke up she is dating another guy already. Maybe she's just one of those girls who contradicts themselves and to not feel alone they go find another face you know like a throw back or a rebound. In that case if that is what she did that is very low of her and I somewhat lost some respect for her. I just can't amagine how people can do that and have no regard or put themselves in the other persons shoes and know what it feels like so quickly and soon. This mourning I woke up and felt a bit down, but hey I guess you can't drive forever and not expect to hit a speed bump now and then. Oh well I just have to keep my mind busy.

UPDATE: Sorry it has been so long guys, I have been really busy lately. So yea everything has been going really good lately, and I'm feeling great. It was my birthday on the 30th of OCT so my friends and I were partying hard and stuff and had a lot of fun. Haven't seen or talked to me ex for about 4-5 weeks and I feel good. The only time I "heard" from her was when my friend saw pics of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, my friend got so pissed and typed on her wall *Wow you're the definition of b!t$h* lmao I found out later and well I thought it was really amsuing so I laughed for about 5 minutes lol. I deleted her fromm all my conacts and everything now she is just a shadow to me. There is this other girl now. On my birthday we couldn't do anythnig so I asked her what she was doing on halloween and she said *ohh I'm just sitting on my a$$ at home doing nothing*. So I played it smooth and said *How about you come and sit on your a$$ at my house and help me hand out candy* So she agreed and we exchanged numbers and she came over. She was snugglnig up to me a bit but I didn't wanan rush things so I let her do w/e she wanted. It was a good night. Lately she's been texting me a lot saying she misses me and she can't wait till we hang again. So things are finally looking up again for me. School is great, I play Halo 3 online now :p and this other girl likes me basically. Thanks for all your help. If anything major happens ill keep you posted. Thanks

Well this is part 2 of my thread. My first one was about this girl and blah blah blah she dumped me blah blah blah lol. Ok well things are looknig up and going my way again. I feel great and everything is going well. Ive been flirting A lot and 4 girls in university like me right now, but this certain special one caught my attention. Me and the guys and this girl went upstairs at uni to a restaurant and buy our friend a beer cause it was his birthday. So she bought herself one. I was just talking with the guys then she started to flirt with me a bit and stuff. Then we went back inside the restaurant and they sat at a table and there was no room for me to sit so she said for me to sit on her lap *usually for me it's the other way around but I did*. So that and that happened. Then her food came and I got off her and crouched on the ground. Then she started to feed me fries and stuff I thought that was very nice of her. Then after that she made a joke about me and I made this like sad puppy dog face and she said *aww it is OK I love you* then she brought my head over to her and she kissed my cheek. So I was thinking *mother of god she likes me and she is freaking gorgous*. But then I was thinking maybe she could use the whole *ohhh I was buzzed a bit and did some things* but the thing is that she only had one beer. And after I left my friends said she was acting fine after that so id on't know. Im like pretty sure she likes me so I can't wait to see her again at school really. Just wanted to get your input and stuff and my next move would be to ask her out. Thanks

I think you should go for it. Ask her out, but don't go too crazy over her. Be yourself.

Yeah, she digs you. Just take a deep breath, you know you want to be smooth about it. Find something cool to do like a concert or some festival and come up to her and say something like "yeah so I got this extra ticket, wanna come?" Look into her eyes when you say it and say it like you have 100% confidence that she would be an idiot not to take it. Unwavering. Cheers!

Yea I had the feeling. And plus she invited me to her birthday party she is having and I'm going to tell her I booked off work especially for her so I could come to make her feel really good, and then maybe buy her a little something just to show her you know.

take it for face value... if she was strong enough to ask you to stop... she's strong enough to come and talk to you.. sit by you w/e. you don't have to be at her beck and call and do w/e she wants you to at the moment... do what YOU want. If you feel like sitting by her on the bus but not in class then do that. You don't need an explanation... maybe shell be a little worried about what she gave up... not that its supposed to be all about mind games... its not,. that's why my advice to you is do whatever it is you feel like at the moment and don't worry about impressions or opinions or anything like that.. life is too short. Just do what feels right and you can't make a mistake... because its as honest as you'll get.

I am so glad that things are turning to the positive side of life for you again. We told you it would take time, and am happy that it did not take tooo longgg.

Re-discovered confidence and attraction can be fun, can't it..

Wishing you lots and lots of fun and happiness!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Yeah that's awesome.. see everything works out in its own way.. some way or another.. you know.

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Originally Posted by kelaineb

yeah thats awesome.. see everything works out in its own way.. some way or another.. ya know.

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Know exactly what you mean. I am happier now than I was within the last two years. I don't have a relationship, but I have a lot of friends and family who support me and I'm doing things I want to do for a change and not compromise and it feels great!

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/36/36_11_25.gif Don't have to put up with anyone's crap anymore...

That's great! Sometimes it takes time alone to realize what you have... instead of always wanting more. (not that I'm saying you do) but its kind of a breath of fresh air to be free and know that there's something good out there and you just haven't found it yet... but will soon