I agree with cheryQuote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Go on forget her and later on find a better one and treat her like a your queen :)
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I agree with cheryQuote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Go on forget her and later on find a better one and treat her like a your queen :)
Yea that sounds very logical and she really has no reason to take me back anyway... even if she saw me change because A. She has a new boyfriend B. She thinks it will last a little while then go back to that and C. We go to separate colleges... but who knows what the future has in store. Thank You for everyone's advice
HE told us that, if you bothered to read the thread carefully.Quote:
Originally Posted by think_pink
And if that's the case then you shouldn't have tried answering. You need to be very careful sometimes about the advice you give.Quote:
Originally Posted by think_pink
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/16/16_12_169.gifAmen, if you want to color, look at the whole picture.Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
Did U read what my other responses at the guys post were? If you did then u'll see I said my bad ! Gosh it was once damn its not the end of the world I then told the guy to move on and forget herQuote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
Did U read that?
Nah I don't think so then scroll up and read it!
Yeah I did read that, and before I posted. But that's not the point. Yes its good that you apologized and retracted, but it never should have been necessary in the first place.Quote:
Originally Posted by think_pink
We pride ourselves on the quality of the advice we give here. If we see some kid jumping in half cocked and giving bad advice we are going to come down on them.
Hopefully you learned your lesson here and the next time you want to help, you'll be more careful about it.
I will can we just let it go now? Plzzz?Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
I
M sorry for what I said and don't ever follow my first advice
Don't worry about it... trust me I have taken all of your advice to heart... thank you guys very much and I will keep you posted
iight good luck =]
Ok, my girlfriend broke up with me a month and a half ago... I have tried everything to get her back except for giving her space. I promised I would leave her alone a couple a days ago. Of course she is very angry with me. How much time is enough to give her space and will this cool her off? Do you think this will give her a chance to reflect upon us even though she has a new boyfriend?
Well why don't you try doing it and see. She's asked for space and you've not done it. I'm thinking that by now she's really tired of you. Leave her alone and go on with your life.
Why did you leave everything else out Hotrodder? Please see his other post:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-126400.html
We have all told you LEAVE HER ALONE. You are getting into territory where she may have a restraining order placed on you.
Good job researching Glinda!
She may never have a good and happy view of you again. You need to leave her alone... period! You are becoming obsessive, and are on the virge of stalking. If she wants to spark up a relationship with you again, that is her choice. Badgering her all the time will not help the situation.
Just wait and if she decides that she wants to b with you then she will come to you when she is ready. Don't keep going to her. It can look kind of pathetic. Until she comes back, like glindaofoz said, leave her alone
Well then I am giving up... I love her to death and she doesn't know it... so whatever, I don't care anymore... hope she has good life!
I know you probably wouldn't be bugging her so much if you didn't love her, but if you love her, you have to let her go (as the old saying goes).
You're a Cowboys fan?? lol I am a Giants fan!! I know I have to let her go, but I am scared that she won't come back. She is so special.
I ♥ the Cowboys.. lol.
It is her decision whether she wants to come back or not. Believe it or not, contacting her constantly will not make her love you even more, it will make it worse. She needs time, and if she is ready to be back with you after that time, good for you. If not, you need to move on.
Yes your so right... I finally realized that contacting her was bad... I was pushing her away... some part of me believes that she will eventually give me a call. It could be a month or two. But then there is always the chance she won't... I have to be ready for that. The thing that makes me believe that is the fact that I know for a fact that she still loves me.
Whether it takes a month or a year, you need to give her that time. Keep hoping she will call you, it may come true. She just needs some time away from you to think. :)
YESSSSSS!! That's exactly what I hope will happen, BUT I am scared to be let down again, because I have tried everything but give her space. We never fell out of love... she just tired of all the fights and my crap. I pray to god everyday to get another chance with her... and I hope to become a better person for myself.
Realizing that she needs space is a good step in the right direction. The reason she has let you down is because you haven't given her that time she needs, good job for doing it now.
You should work on that verbal abuse issue. Even if you did it without realizing it, you should still work on it. She is more liable to come back into your life if she sees improvement.
Once again I agree... I am seeing a therapist once a week... I am going to the gym and doing a lot of physical activities. But she goes to college 2 hours away so she really can't see me. But her space is most important right now.
You may not think it is a good thing that she is 2 hours away, but honestly it is. It gives her that space she needs. Have you cut out phone/email contact too?
Good job for going to therapy. You realized you have a problem, and need a solution. And going to the gym and doing physical activities will help keep your mind off things. How is therapy coming along?
I have cut off every single form of communication with her because she might put a restraining order against me... lol. So I am def. backing off! Therapy is going very well, I am learning ways to control my anger and I am doing breathing exercises to help calm myself down when I get depressed about her. Every little bit helps.
Good job! Have you tried meditation? I have never tried it personally, but I hear it is very relaxing.
No not really, nothing like that... I just sit down and just start breathing deep and it really helps. There are points in my day where I freak out and need to call her. It is so hard. I keep getting the feeling that she doesn't love or care about me anymore. I also cry about her just about everyday. I am truly in love with her. Though, this break up is going to teach me how to stand on my own two feet and that's what I want her to see.
Your therapy should help you with this feeling that makes you cry.
Sometimes we have the best intentions and don't realize we are actually hurting the people that we love. I know you probably didn't intend to make her mad by contacting her all the time, and may not have intended to verbally abuse her, but those are lessons you have learned.
Hopefully the break up will teach you, as you say, and she will see it and how much you have changed. I know breaking up can be hard, but it can also be a learning experience.
Yea it is a learning experience that I will never forget and I never ever would do anything out right to hurt her in any way shape or form. Also, her new Boyfriend has me a little worried, he might distract her from thinking of me.
It sounds like you made a big impact on her life, so she will probably never forget you, no matter who she dates. The new boyfriend could be her way of moving on.
You won't get her back, she's gone and most likely will never be coming back. I would imagine she is quite scared of you given the abuse you dished out to her for all that time. If you love someone, you don't do that to them. You are a person who likes to be in control I don't doubt and now you want to control what she wants. If you did this to her for some time and only realised what you did at the end when she left you, then you should seek counseling because there must be something going on with you that you may not be consciously aware of. You need to leave her alone and accept that you pushed her away forever, no amount of time is going to heal what you have done and you are in danger of putting yourself into very dark territory unless you sort out your issues and move on without her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Then things will improve for you, it can all be turned around for you. Sadly for her, she has some healing to do too and I hope she does.
Yea I could see her doing that... but I am just wondering how long they will last. I just want to give her as much space as possible, then I really want to try again with her.
Go to therapy for one full year specifically addressing your abusive behavior THEN you can start to think about contacting this girl again and only if your therapist believes that you will not dissolve back into a disgusting abusive jerk
You have to realize that she has moved on and she doesn't want to be with someone who verbally abuses her. You may change, but she probably will not take you back. People go their separate ways, not everyone is meant for each other. Maybe what you need to do is move on, look forward, not behind.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
I don't think you're in love, I think you're obsessed. There is a difference. If there was always fighting and drama there, it was not a healthy relationship.
You keep on with your therapy and stay away from this young lady.
If she has a new guy this means she has moved on. You need to get yourself together and move on as well.
I know it may be hard, but if she wants to be with you again, let her come to you. It is her choice to make. If she never comes back around, then you know she doesn't want to be with you and it wasn't meant to be.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Love can make you do some crazy things. I just hope you have learned your lesson.
Wow some harsh repsonses... but trust me it was love... this started about 8 months ago. I had a lot of stuff happen in my life... my parents got divorced... my dad moving away from me and she understands and she just got tired of the way I treated. I want to show her that I can change and its as simply as that. Trust me I want to give her space.
Good luck hun. I hope everything works out for you and I hope through therapy you get the help you need. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
You realize that none of that makes it okay to do what you did to her, right? There is no sympathy for abusers around here, sorry doesn't work that way. If it were me you would've had a restraining order the day we broke up. She has been very fair and very easy on you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hottrodder246
Again. Therapy for one full year no contact to this girlfriend until after that and that's only if your therapist truly believes you will not resort to be an abuser.
Huh... hmmm OK and I know that its no excuse. I will let everyone know how it goes.
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