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That happens a lot - remember - always:
People WANT what they can't have!
She didn't have her ex - she probably got him back too easy. Now she doesn't want him.
You're not paying attention to her now. She probably feels she doesn't have you.
Just lay low on this. Be cool. Or, move on. Don't be in any hurry to contact her, it will drive her bizerk.
Yup don't even think he dated or moved on during the whole time they were separated.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
See - that's not attractive to a woman. She wanted a challenge he probably did not give it to her. Give her a challenege. Don't be a whimp and just go crawling back.
She told me in an email the times we were alone together were really good, but the times we were with other people with alcohol were really bad. I know I have a problem with drinking and acting stupid when I do. She said she is confused and needs to sort things out. She also said she thought I was a great guy and 'perfect' and her kids loved me but she couldn't deal with the stresses a relationship brought with everything going on in her life. Part of me wants another shot and I know I need to leave her alone right now. I really think she cares what people might think of her if she was divorced with 2 kids. So I think she is trying her ex out one more time. Sad thing is it's was only a week before she told me she was thinking about giving us another try. I thought the first part of the relationship was suppose to be the best. Then again she could have been lying. I don't see how her and the ex could last. He is such a tool but I think the only reason she is doing it is for her kids.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Give her space and time. Woman change their minds. Let her stort through it. Don't contact her. I sure her ex confised the F out of her as well.
What happened with the alcohol and how do you avoid that?
Just be a man and work on yourself. Learn how to deal with her - no more soft guy.
Divorce is NOT a bad thing - you need to tell her this. She tried - she PROVED she can commit.
Today, being divorced is NOT a BAD thing - it used to be - things sometimes just don't work out - right? Tell her this - she proved she can be I na relationship.
I take medication so if I drink too much it makes me act crazy. I really messed up with it and I can't blame the alcohol.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Haha that's funnyQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Dude - stop the drinking and medication! Please tell her you stopped!
Haven't drank in awhile, I feel so much better now and my confidence is back up...Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Good for you. Boozing is great, but if it effects your game OR you feel like hell for more than a day - for get it.
Yup my game took a huge dive man, I can think so much better now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Yay Kingpin! I quit drinking too, for now, and life is better. For now.
Thanks it pretty much improved everything I doQuote:
Originally Posted by turtlegirl
OK first off you don't need to even be in communication with this girl... she ripped your heart out and handed to you on a silver platter and just when you thought she was done she threw it on the floor and stomped on it.. sorry but that is the cold truth.. shes a badboy type she likes bad guys... she likes to be treated the way she has been by her ex man and sad to say but there is no real explanation for it except that she loves him... or she doesn't want to see him with anyone else... OR and watch out this is a classic one... she still thinks that she can change him into the man she wants him to be.. I think you shouldn't even waste your time..
Oh guys when should we try you people.why should you give your ex a chance don you no the more you get close to her you start feeling for and the next thing you do is... that is very bad so please forget about her as you've already done and continue with girl
Yes I realize it now, the only time I really wanted her back is when I was drinking and I was drinking nearly everyday.Quote:
Originally Posted by lickemlolly
Booze WILL do that to you - no questions. It totally CLOUDS reality.
Reality IS you don't need her at all.
I read that book last night - good stuff... Learned a lotQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
GOOD FOR YOU!!
It's amazing - YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT ATTRACTION!! Most guys don't get it. Again - most guys don't understand attraction in women.
It's not what we think. It's exactly what we don't think. It's so important to understand this. Woman are in the bizzaro world compared to us.
If you don't build and maintain attraction - she will leave. You have to build a challenge.
I hope to hell you received Dave's e-mail from today. It was outstanding.
I could forward it to you.
This stuff is so simple once you crack the code. Woman don't want 'nice', approval seekers, etc.
Wildcat - How can I tell her I stopped if I am suppose to not be in contact with her? I believe our last correspondence was like 10 day's ago through email. It just seems if I told her I stopped I would look desperate to her, and I am sure she would think the reason I stopped was to get her back but it wasn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
10 days? Are you sure? No text in that 10 days?
IF that's the case - call - but if not AND you texted - wait 2 or 3 weeks.
Call - she MOST likely WILL NOT pick up. NOT. Woman do this. AND when you totally don't have her she MAY not call back - woman do this.
Do not leave a message - leave her guessing! Always. Always be unpredictable. Call her in 2 days.
Here's were people ALWAYS blow it in win-back - THEY RUSH THINGS!! YOU HAVE tons OF TIME ON YOUR SIDE!! There is no rush.
They OVER contact.
They share feelings immediately.
NO pressure.
And do not go right into the fact you stopped drinking - mention casually and that's WHY your doing GREAT and always FEEL GREAT!!
No pressure, no dates - yet - unless she asks, no negative stuff.
Let her talk - remember to listen.
Yes I hadn't sent a text in about 3 weeks... And I never actually called her since she broke it off. You were right though, she didn't answer... It didn't surprise me though. I just felt in a good mood and wanted to call.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
I am totally NOT surprised she didn't answer. She wanted you to leave a message most likely - OR, seriously she could have been busy. Make her 'wonder'. There is a slight chance she will call in the next two days because it will really bother her as to why you called.
I would call her in like two days - maybe Saturday afternoon early. (make sure to have plans Saturday night with friends or what ever in case she asks) I bet she picks up that - if not, leave a simple message - "Hey hows it going, wanted to say hi" Again, no pressure, no desperation, no trying to impress.
These seem like games, but they really are not. It's human reaction to Psychology.
For some reason, and I have studied this - woman don't return calls and e-mails as much - even my sister does not return calls and e-mails. They read and listen, they appreciate them - but for some reason they do not return them - even my gal rarely returns e-mail (she thinks it's way to impersonal).
You need strong patience here my friend. No needy or desperate - which you could come off as. Confidence, laugh, tease her if possible.
This is going to be tricky though. I don't thin kyou want her to think you are trying to get back together.
Well she could have been asleep, I no longer remember her work schedule. Your right about the emails, in my experience though with the phone I usually always get a call back. The email thing though does seem rather impersonal. I am good at being funny and teasing, that's one of my strong points so I am not worried there. We'll see what happens, thanks..Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
A call back is always a good sign. That means she is into or there is a chance. When a woman is into you she will do almost anything to be with you, talk etc.
WildCat - I pm'ed u something - thanksQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Hiiiii how are you sweety :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Hello how are you talk to me
;)
You talking to me?
I think she is showing you a positive sign by telling you to call her up sometime
Maybe she ants to patch up with you again
Talk to her over this matter when you call her up in the near future
That way you can be clear whether she wants to come back to you or just remain your friend
While you are playing tactical games another man will be there :p
Nope - those aren't games.
And it has worked for him. It just depends how far he wants to take it.
Yup great info in this threadQuote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
Absence makes the heart grow fonder? But ultimately if the relationship developes, togetherness occurs. Then how do you keep the attention, more periods of withdrawal?
Remember, each side can play the same tactics. If you are to be together it happens. Clear requests get to the truth and you all know where you stand. Do not get drawn into other peoples tactics. Go for what you want, be brave, it may work, if not, move on; if it does, then it is good that you grabbed the opportunity.
That's a nice fantasy - but not in this world. Never. These aren't tactics.but true relationship psycological principles.
The biggest thing people screw up is they REFUSE to change themselves. You have to change. Change is good.
Call her, but don't expect anything to come out of it. That way, you won't be disappointed if it doesn't. Talk for a while then end the conversation. If it seems to go well then about a week later call her again and invite her for coffee (but don't be disappointed if she declines.) The key is not to make yourself too available to her and let her pursue you instead of the other way around. Make sure you stay in the driver's seat and don't let her start with the head games.
Call herQuote:
Originally Posted by kingping
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