Quote:

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Originally Posted by huno

Hahaha... not all of us. I am more into mexican girls. As I've said before, I can only seduce in Spanish.

BTW, what the hell did that guy who disagreed say? I failed the Kanji portion of Japanese 101 six years ago...

Watashi wa chotto nihongo o hanashimasu. Chotto, chotto, chotto.


--huno

P.S.: Chotto.

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First, my disagreement told you that love is pure, no boundary barriers , no background superiority, and no color in it.
Secondly, my disagreement told you that not all the girls like white guys. If someday love is measured by someone's ignorant preferred color on skin, what the hell is the necessity of goodness of a human-being?
Lastly but not the least, don't be biased against others.
BTW, I am a girl not a guy!
If you feel it impolite, I am sorry.

Wish you good luck!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cjnvgq

First, my disagreement told you that love is pure, no boundary barriers , no background superiority, and no color in it.
Secondly, my disagreement told you that not all the girls like white guys. If someday love is measured by someone's ignorant preferred color on skin, what the hell is the necessity of goodness of a human-being?
Lastly but not the least, don't be biased against others.
BTW, I am a girl not a guy!
If you feel it impolite, I am sorry.

Wish you good luck!

---

Oh yeah? Well Google Translate says different:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Google Translate (Beta)

很 White 种 person multi 亚 state human watching non- above. 也 让 你 disappointment Ryo. Lower next 说 话 gratitude 貌 point!

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First off, my name's not Ryo--I'm not even Japanese: I'm Mexican, goddammit! I just took one Japanese class in city college. And my mom says I'm not a disappointment, so there.

Secondly, that second character looks like two dudes doing it. Are you sure you're a girl?

Thirdly, and my main point for nicespringgirl, you should probably stick to intelligent guys but make sure one of you is talkative... preferably you. And sex, I've come to learn, is a HUGE part of a relationship. To many people, it can actually break a relationship if the sex isn't good (or not present at all). So just keep in mind you'll probably have to go through several guys until you get one that will accept you and your beliefs (and you shouldn't compromise your standards just to have a BF, though I'm sure you already knew that).

And no, not being able to drive a car well doesn't mean anything. Hell, the guy should be driving you around; if he wants to date you that's his job.

Finally, watch out, cjnvgq, or maybe I'll lower your next gratitude point.

The translation is not true.

I am sorry to have troubled you to spend energy to figure out what I said in Chinese.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cjnvgq

I agree with talaniman. Now guys around you are not as excellent as you. The real gold's shimmering color can't be hidden bu anything in the end. By the way, proud of you, beautiful Asian girl :)

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Thank you so much, I greatly appreciate your comment! Hugs:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cjnvgq

The translation is not true.

I am sorry to have troubled you to spend energy to figure out what I said in Chinese.

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Hahaha... yes, I had to rent out IBM's chess computer to solve that one...

I answered your question privately. I hope my answer helps.

Joe

Quote:

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Originally Posted by huno

Oh yeah? Well Google Translate says different:



First off, my name's not Ryo--I'm not even Japanese: I'm Mexican, goddammit! I just took one Japanese class in city college. And my mom says I'm not a disappointment, so there.

Secondly, that second character looks like two dudes doing it. Are you sure you're a girl?

Thirdly, and my main point for nicespringgirl, you should probably stick to intelligent guys but make sure one of you is talkative... preferably you. And sex, I've come to learn, is a HUGE part of a relationship. To many people, it can actually break a relationship if the sex isn't good (or not present at all). So just keep in mind you'll probably have to go through several guys until you get one that will accept you and your beliefs (and you shouldn't compromise your standards just to have a BF, though I'm sure you already knew that).

And no, not being able to drive a car well doesn't mean anything. Hell, the guy should be driving you around; if he wants to date you that's his job.

Finally, watch out, cjnvgq, or maybe I'll lower your next gratitude point.

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No sex before marriage! I of course look for intelligent guys and who drives fast!:D haha, you and cjnvgq please don't fight over the detail, you guys are cute!:D

Thank you, everyone! I have learned a lot from all of you. :)
I am glad I join the ask me help desk!

I will pray that you are never on here for a brake up. This is the worse feeling anybody go through.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

I will pray that you are never on here for a brake up. This is the worse feeling anybody go thru.

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Oh I know,, that is the fear I have... that's why I am so serious about dating,so picky, don't fall easily. I need to pick the perfect guy and try to be the best girlfriend. I am sorry if you have experienced a bad girlfriend... just so let you know,, there are good girls in the world! U'll find the perfect one! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

Oh I know,,,that is the fear I have...that's why I am so serious about dating,so picky, don't fall easily. I need to pick the perfect guy and try to be the best gf.

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Gotcha! This is the very wrong attitude, now I know why you haven't got a boyfriend.

1st, "im so serious about dating"--->you might not fall easy, but I don't think you will have deep love with this attitude, since the process should be reversed. You relax, feel good, when he comes to your life, you have fun with him 1st, and then things slowly turn serious later on. Like me for example, if someone dated me with serious thought at 1st, I would run as fast as I can, you see why people date you once and rarely twice?

2nd, "I need to pick the perfect guy"---> that's a fasle hope, no one is perfect even you, so why you set that unrealistic condition??

3rd, " and try to be the best gf" ---> you are his best girlfriend or not IS NOT what you can decide, its HIM to decide if you're best. You can't use logic in love. You never know what is the best in love, there is nothing like "ok, i am a good cook, i have high IQ, i'm beautiful THEN i must be the best" , NONONO, its about feeling. If he loves you most, then you're the best girlfriend for him no matter who you are, even just a cleaner.

4th, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, I see that you set too many conditions to love someone. I have manyyy examples of girls like you around me end up marrying mediocre guys (or even losers). They all wish they changed their minds before

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lmnotok

Gotcha! This is the very wrong attitude, now i know why you havent got a bf.

1st, "im so serious about dating"--->you might not fall easy, but i dont think you will have deep love with this attitude, since the process should be reversed. You relax, feel good, when he comes to your life, you have fun with him 1st, and then things slowly turn serious later on. Like me for example, if someone dated me with serious thought at 1st, i would run as fast as i can, you see why ppl date you once and rarely twice?

2nd, "I need to pick the perfect guy"---> thats a fasle hope, noone is perfect even you, so why you set that unrealistic condition???

3rd, " and try to be the best gf" ---> you are his best gf or not IS NOT what you can decide, its HIM to decide if you're best. You can't use logic in love. You never know what is the best in love, there is nothing like "ok, i am a good cook, i have high IQ, i'm beautiful THEN i must be the best" , NONONO, its about feeling. If he loves you most, then you're the best gf for him no matter who you are, even just a cleaner.

4th, LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, i see that you set too many conditions to love someone. I have manyyy examples of girls like you around me end up marrying mediocre guys (or even losers). They all wish they changed their minds before

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Thank you a lot for helping my go through all the details! I see some of my problems now. I didn't tell any of them that I was looking for a serious relatioship, but I think they figured on their own that since I am a serious person and traditional. And actually they were the one told me they want to a serious relationship, so I went out with them!! Do they just lie to me to get a date?I hope to meet a guy who is smarter than I am, who tried as hard I have done in my life. Thank you for your analysis, that is very helpful!

Before I met my ex I was very picky about who I wanted to date. And I did not ask a lot of girls out because of this. I wanted a model and the perfect person. And was single along time because I was looking for that. Then I told myself hey who cares so I lowered my standerds. And met my ex. She wasn't a 10 but I was happy to be with her. And when I fell in love with her in my eyes she was a 10. So I guess what I'm saying is you will be single if you're looking for the perfect one. Because no one is perfect.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SAB123

Before I met my ex I was very picky about who I wanted to date. And I did not ask alot of girls out because of this. I wanted a model and the perfect person. And was single along time because I was looking for that. Then I told myself hey who cares so I lowered my standerds. And met my ex. She wasn't a 10 but I was happy to be with her. And when I fell in love with her in my eyes she was a 10. So I guess what I'm saying is you will be single if you're looking for the perfect one. Because no one is perfect.

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I never like "BTN"( better than none), I'd rather be single if I haven't met the right one. I am just confused about being a good girl and working hard in so many ways... how come no guy will be interested in me? How do I know if guys still a type of girl like me? If I knew a guy who works as hard as I do I won't miss him! I do have high standards, when we are young, we are all dreaming the perfect one. I think I have the right to find a high-quality man, at least my level.

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

I am just confused about being a good girl and working hard in so many ways...how come no guy will be interested in me? how do I know if guys still a type of girl like me?

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I still contend you're too hung-up on your credentials. I don't think most guys care about how many honors you've won at school (to be fair, girls don't really care either... at least not American women). They care more about whether you're fun to be around.

Like I said, it's mainly your personality that will win you friendships and lovers. Work on that. Maybe think about why they see you as just a friend.

You're an effing prude. Guys don't want that. Nobody wants that.

Look how many effing times in your posts you say how great you are, and how many times you say "I," "me," or "my."

Yeah... these comments come to mind:


Can someone please help me with this:

I am an 23 year-old asian american, 5'4 130 pts with a beautiful face and cute figure.

Outgoing, ambitious,basically capable for doing most of the things on my own.

I am very active on campus-the Vice President of Student Body, Chairman of Engieering Society, the President of Accounting Club.

Both of them said to me that I was beautiful, wonderful,perfect, but neither of them wanted a second date with me.


I dress very nice though.
Guys all stare at me,

I was told I was perfect by many people

I try hard in life and I am a smart person

I have a great sense of humor

It's my way of working hard to be the top and I won't take chill pill at all

He still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful.

If they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality"


Everyone! Hey, everyone! Look at me! Look at me! I'm so awesome. Someone pleeeeeeassssse feel sorry for me that I don't have a date. Look how much you should be sorry for me!!


Get off it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by huno

I still contend you're too hung-up on your credentials. I don't think most guys care about how many honors you've won at school (to be fair, girls don't really care either... at least not American women). They care more about whether or not you're fun to be around.

Like I said, it's mainly your personality that will win you friendships and lovers. Work on that. Maybe think about why they see you as just a friend.

---

I am a very funny person, I make them laugh all the time. My personality is the key thing that made me a popular student at school, I had the highest votes at SGA election and Homecoming Queen Competittion. If I suck at personality, how come everyone is my friend? People like me because I am free from drama and cool, willing to help people, and have funny jokes and her view of many things.maybe they see that I am too busy, but no matter how busy I am, I'd like to have accompany to inspire each other and do fun stuff together, who doesn't? Thank you again for your analysis, feel free to give me more advice, I really appreciate Huno!:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SameOldSituation

You're an effing prude. Guys don't want that. Nobody wants that.

Look how many effing times in your posts you say how great you are, and how many times you say "I," "me," or "my."

Yeah....these comments come to mind:


Can someone please help me with this:

I am an 23 year-old asian american, 5'4 130 pts with a beautiful face and cute figure.

Outgoing, ambitious,basically capable fo doing most of the things on my own.

I am very active on campus-the Vice President of Student Body, Chairman of Engieering Society, the President of Accounting Club.

both of them said to me that I was beautiful, wonderful,perfect, but neither of them wanted a second date with me.


I dress very nice though.
guys all stare at me,

I was told I was perfect by many people

I try hard in life and I am a smart person

I have a great sense of humor

It's my way of working hard to be the top and I won't take chill pill at all

he still writes to me and say I am wonderful, beautiful.

if they don't put up with my intelligence, how about my beauty and morality"


Everyone! Hey, everyone! Look at me! Look at me! I'm so awesome. someone pleeeeeeassssse feel sorry for me that I don't have a date. Look how much you should be sorry for me!!!!


Get off it.

---

I am not like that as you've thought. I am frustrated about it, since it has been a problem for a while and my friends don't get it either. I do try my best in many things, I am sure there are plenty of us achieve a lot in their life. The way I am talking now is problly a little bit not proper, but that's how I can express my feeling at this moment, if you were me, how would you write about yourself and everything is true and I did have done a lot. Thanks

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I do have high standards, when we are young, we are all dreaming the perfect one. I think I have the right to find a high-quality man, at least my level.

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You do have that right, and if a resume is what a man needs to date you so be it. But always know that when you hand over your resume to him, his standard may be high also. My experiences tell me that there is much more to humans besides accomplishments and the smartest man or woman may be the most evil SOB, that there is. A lot goes into a choice for a life partner, that go beyond credentials, haven't you ever heard that it may look good on paper, but doesn't work in real life.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You do have that right, and if a resume is what a man needs to date you so be it. But always know that when you hand over your resume to him, his standard may be high also. My experiences tell me that there is much more to humans besides accomplishments and the smartest man or woman may be the most evil SOB, that there is. A lot goes into a choice for a life partner, that go beyond credentials, haven't you ever heard that it may look good on paper, but doesn't work in real life.

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So what do you suggest me to do? I want to find out what my problem is and I am humble... thank you.

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And was single along time because I was looking for that. Then I told myself hey who cares so I lowered my standerds. And met my ex.

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I think what young people do now is look for a lifemate with preconceived notions of what they are looking for. Back in my day it was more just the dating for fun, ( okay, and sex!! ) and if you had that fun, it lead to something else, but we dated as much as we could, without this exclusive stuff so early on, when you meet some one. It is so easy to invest a lot emotionally and spiritually when you think in terms of he/she is the one, but without the emotional experience, that only comes from the doing, we naturally make mistakes, and pay the emotional price. I think the successful relationship are the ones where mature people, having learned from experience have come together and deal with out the mistakes of the past to hinder them. Bottom line is have fun as much as you can with as many as you can, enjoy it until that one really shows up, and you grow together. For a long time my mantra was,

"If you can't be with the one you love, then love the one your with."

Life is short have fun.

A mature person doesn't date for FUN, that's what I have believed. A mature knows what comes first in life, a good education and a good career to build a good foudation for future life.

I'm 6', 150. 25 years old with two bachelor's degrees. I've spent the better part of the last two years running my own business.

I can bench press my body weight and run a mile in under 5 minutes. I've run a half marathon, and just missed running the Chicago Marathon due to injury.

I've met thousands of people from over a hundred countries. I can speak two languages and am literate in three others.

I have a natural charisma that draws people to me looking for leadership. I have a talent for creating plans and organizing their completion, in both professional and casual life.

So... want to go out some time?

...

...

...

No? Didn't think so. Your attitude here is the same as mine above. If this is anything, and I do mean ANYTHING like the way you act out in the real world, that's your problem.

Look outside yourself. What are you looking for in somebody to date? You don't even mention that anywhere here... everything is about you. From everything you have posted here, all you want is somebody who loves you as much as you do. That's a whole lot of ego.

Trust me, I'm an arrogant prick. An egotistical [expletive deleted]. I've rubbed so many people the wrong way with my cockiness that it's not even funny to see them get irritated about it anymore. If you want to find somebody to actually spend time with and develop a relationship, you're going to have to start looking at them for them, not for how they think of you. It's really not that hard to do, once you figure out that your self-importance is what stands in your way.

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

So what do you suggest me to do? I wanna find out what my problem is and I am humble...thank you.

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Stop looking for a husband, and stop shopping your resume, get real and have a good time with everyone, not just the highly qualified. Just be human. Learn about real people. Those paper accomplishment may be great on a job interview, but mean nothing in the real world, where you will be just another graduating virgin, looking for a date on Saturday night. Not to be harsh at all , but reality is a bltch.:eek:

Ask yourself if you want real love, or real money?? :confused:
The right answer is both!! :cool:
The trick is how to get them.:p
Reality is, how do you keep them?? ;)

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A mature person doesn't date for FUN,

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What does a mature person date for??

Work hard, play even harder. When you get older what do you think your going to miss more, WORK, or FUN!!

I read all of these, comments and stuff of yours and people on this post. I see that you confront them so much, answer immediately after their comment. Why don't you just sit, and THINK, deeply THINK about what they said. Don't reply that fast since it makes me think that you already have the TYPE in your mind, and anyone who is against it, you confront. It doesn't help. They just help you by listing all of the issues that might cause you being single. So, choose the right answer for yourself.

If you are still not satisfied, I suggest this website for you How To Flirt! "Secrets of Flirting With Men" By Mimi Tanner (im not advertising anything, its just the last choice of yours if things don't change for several months later)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nosnosna

I'm 6', 150. 25 years old with two bachelor's degrees. I've spent the better part of the last two years running my own business.

I can bench press my body weight and run a mile in under 5 minutes. I've run a half marathon, and just missed running the Chicago Marathon due to injury.

I've met thousands of people from over a hundred countries. I can speak two languages and am literate in three others.

I have a natural charisma that draws people to me looking for leadership. I have a talent for creating plans and organizing their completion, in both professional and casual life.

So... want to go out some time?

...

...

...

No? Didn't think so. Your attitude here is the same as mine above. If this is anything, and I do mean ANYTHING like the way you act out in the real world, that's your problem.

Look outside yourself. What are you looking for in somebody to date? You don't even mention that anywhere here... everything is about you. From everything you have posted here, all you want is somebody who loves you as much as you do. That's a whole lot of ego.

Trust me, I'm an arrogant prick. An egotistical [expletive deleted]. I've rubbed so many people the wrong way with my cockiness that it's not even funny to see them get irritated about it anymore. If you want to find somebody to actually spend time with and develop a relationship, you're gonna have to start looking at them for them, not for how they think of you. It's really not that hard to do, once you figure out that your self-importance is what stands in your way.

---

I see... you are right! I act completely differently as the way I have talked here. It's sad that people think I am stuck up... actually in real life, I am very humble, I do think inside of me I am overachieving and people do praise me all the time. I wish they didn't... I hope I can meet someone, but where? I work full time and have school duty...

Um... people meet people to date at work and school all the time.

You just have to stop looking for someone who is everything you've always wanted, and start looking for friends that might be more.

If you had asked me at 20 what I wanted in a man, I would have described something almost impossible. What I GOT in a man, who I have been happy with for 11 years now, is completely different from that image. COMPLETELY different.

He is, however, exactly the kind of person I NEED. Not what I want, but what makes me happy and balances me completely.

If you're looking for a specific type, you'll never find it.

If you keep an open mind, happiness will drop into your lap.

And yeah... don't be so serious about dating. It smacks of desperation, and desperation makes people run the other way.

Thank you, that makes lot of sense to me. I do aim high and I did reject couple guys in my department before when they asked me out, that's problly other guys are scared to ask me out. I really think those who asked me out didn't suit me at all... I see now I do need to be open minded, but it has been so hard to lower my standards... so hard... and I am not willing to... I am not asking too much, just someone who loves me and have achieveement the same level as I have done, and he must be single, against sex before marriage too.

I have been reading this thread in its entirety and let me say that you sound way too intense! I can see why men may be intimidated by you. I know (and I am a woman), I was almost intimidated into not answering this post.

Hun, let me say that you do not need to lower your standard, but you DO need to broaden your horizons.

You see what you are looking for in a man you may never find unless you plan on marrying many men. LOL

You are looking for the perfect man, and he just isn't there. There is no man out there that will encompass everything you desire all wrapped up into one person. The perfect man just does not exist.

Instead of lowering your standards, why don't you change your priorities?

When you meet a man you do not know in the first date, first month, or even the first year if he is what you are looking for. That is why the proper way of dating takes so long to achieve. It is all about exploration.

So, he doesn't have the same academic achievements as you, but does that make him bad? No, it just means he may not have had the opportunities that you have been so lucky to have had. Does that mean he can't achieve that in the future? No, he just needs to be given the opportunity.

Just because a person does not have the same education as you does not make them off limits. We all have our strengths, and we all have our weaknesses. You don't seem to see that. All you are looking for are the strengths and when you find a weakness you run for the hills.

You see, I think you may not be asking too much, but you certainly are expecting too much.

Mr. Right is someone who compliments you, whether academically or not. Someone who makes you happy, who makes you laugh, smile, even cry sometimes.

So what if he is not a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer, he is someone who makes you happy, who respects you and your beliefs. Who cares if he doesn't make a million dollars a year as long as he loves and respects you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

it has been so hard to lower my standards....so hard...and I am not willing to...I am not asking too much, just someone who loves me and have achieveement the same level as I have done, and he must be single, against sex before marriage too.

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This is part of the problem. You are looking for some one to marry not date. You are looking for a knight in shining armor. You can't expect a guy to be all those things. And it isn't about lowering your standards but having realistic expectations.

Honestly, I think your standards are too high and too organized. You have not "dated" much so you don't really know what you want. Trust me, you will one day find that perfect man and he will be everything you have ever wanted in a guy. You will get married and live a long BORING life together. Finding someone that is a little bit different from you is good. Haven't you ever heard "opposites attract"? Can you imagine living a life with someone that has the same outlook on everything that you do? Where would the conversation be? You would agree and the talking would cease! There would be no excitement or passion in anything. You are not suppose to fall in love with someone because of how smart they are and how many clubs they are in. You fall for them because of who they are. You can't got out on the hunt for the perfect man until you go through a few bad ones to find out what you want. The guy I am with now is nothing like I ever wanted. I had standards. A lot of them. He met maybe half of them and we clash on a lot of things and I LOVE IT. We never have a boring conversation and we get along perfectly. Just open up a little and date. Its not morally wrong to try and figure out what you really want.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sdjosh

This is part of the problem. You are looking for some one to marry not date. You are looking for a knight in shining armor. You can't expect a guy to be all those things. And it isn't about lowering your standards but having realistic expectations.

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I think you are right, I am kind of serious, if I don't see the person I can marry in the future, I won't date him. It doesn't necessarily mean that I will marry this one, the thing is that I must see him somewhat close to my expection of my future husband. I can't just go out to have fun, I need to be responsible, if I am sure I won't marry someone like him, I won't even go out to him.

I hate to say this but are going to be single for along time. Their might be 1% of guys who are like this but you are going to have trouble finding them. I know I like to have fun when I'm first dating someone then be responsible when we fall in love?

People, I think you're all being too hard on the original poster. Sure, I dislike her as much as you all do--I mean, her username is very misleading. "nicespringgirl" isn't all that nice... her personality is more of an autumn, maybe wintry... and I'm not sure she's even a girl!

But you're all being WAY too hard on her (him?) regarding her qualifications. I don't think she posted them to brag to us and I highly doubt that she starts every conversation by rattling off her resume.

I think she's just feeling frustrated that other girls get to have boyfriends and have dates while she sits at home lonely on a Friday night. She probably sees herself as a catch, which I'm sure she is, and so she views her situation as unfair. That's all.




--huno

P.S.: I don't really dislike you, nicespringgirl. It's that other Chinese girl I can't stand... :mad:

Thanks for your pains.
I just hope next time you would be more considerate.
I really dislike people like you.

What's wrong with having responsible fun? Hun, you are in for a very long lonely life if you only think about responsibility and not fun. Not to mention that therapists can be expensive and you will need one if you don't have fun.

Maybe that is why men are not interested in you. They may see you as all serious and responsible rather than funloving and carefree.

You can be responsible and funloving at the same time you know. ;)

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Originally Posted by cjnvgq

I really dislike people like you.

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So I take it we're not going out after all? :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by J_9

What's wrong with having responsible fun? Hun, you are in for a very long lonely life if you only think about responsibility and not fun. Not to mention that therapists can be expensive and you will need one if you don't have fun.

Maybe that is why men are not interested in you. They may see you as all serious and responsible rather than funloving and carefree.

You can be responsible and funloving at the same time ya know. ;)

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I did try that... but I won't let a guy touch me as "fun". I will joke, I can do that. And I'll watch movies and volunteer with him, or cook, bake, even play videogames, go to bookstore... is that still not enough? Study together is good too;)(okay,okay... I take that back)... ^^

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Originally Posted by nicespringgirl

I did try that...but I won't let a guy touch me as "fun".

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Touch you in what way? If you won't let a guy touch you at all, not meaning sexually, then you are going to have some problems. :confused: