Find new jobs wheer you can meet new people, new women who in turn hoepfully introduce to more people, expand your social network, expand your world, your horizons with new experiances and never let down an oppuritnity!

Plenty of life left yet, besides one day you'll meet soemone and you won't look back. In fact your be moaning at fifty about marrige, saying do they ever stop bl00die moaning! So live your life now for your only get it once - blatently :P

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Originally Posted by Geoffersonairplane

Also...

By playing the waiting game, not only are you letting life pass you by but you are also devaluing yourself.

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I wanted to agree with myself here but I realised that this site won't let me agree or disagree with myself.

Lol, love thy self!

Jiser I agree, but see what I was meaning is that if her trully cares then go after it now if the chance is there. The situation with me and the 4 yrs. Is over I made my choose she didn't. That's why I've moved on and am starting a new life. That's all man

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Originally Posted by Jiser

lol, love thy self!

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Absolutely.

But again, balance is important.

Mind you, I will never abandon myself even if I give 110% to myself. I am a challenge unto myself.

I disagree again. Re read the whole thread and his previous. The chance is a stupid one, too soon, it is not even a chance! He shouldn't go back not now, maybe even never. More time is needed.

This time, I agree with Jiser but could not rate you because I've agreed or disagreed with you too much.

OK I understand what you mean

Mac my friend... Just take some time for yourself... Maybe not a week, but I mean go outside and a take a walk, and just think about it yourself for now... The moment has come and it is now your decision! Make the best one, YOURS!

There is no time line for anything in life... Take your time to figure out what you want. She made her choice and now she regrets it. Its good that she realizes what she had but that doesn't mean that you have to take her back right away. A trust was broken. She has to earn her way back... that is if you want her back. That is totally up to you and something that should not be taken lightly.

Thanks for the advice I was thinking of calling tonight. Not sure nowim even confused. 3 months on and still confused. Should have walkedaway long ago but easiersaid than done. If she had cheated I wouldn't have worried I wouldn't want someonelikethat but she's never been nothing but honest, then again she broke up with me to be on her own if she truly wanted meshe would not have left... Im notsure.

DO NOT CONTACT HER! Give it more time. Your regret it. There's no saying what will happen in the future but its best you give it more time.

By T-MAN on 3/28/07

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Give her what she ask for and get on with life. When she figures it out then she will let you know, if not you will already have a life with out her. I would not be sitting and waiting for her to come back, so make sure you are moving forward. No doubt that she has been thinking this way for a while.

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I went back to your very first question, and this was my response, above, at that time. Since, you have 25 questions and 3 months have gone by. Ive read all your posts and commented on many, yet I find myself still giving you the same advice, in most of the posts. So either I'm spinning my wheels, or you are. Even in going back o your advice to others I have come to the conclusion that if you took some of your own advice, we wouldn't be answering the same issues over and over again. At some point you will have to acknowledge you are stuck, and take positive actions to unstick yourself and that starts (again!) with you cutting of all contact, and working on at least the issues you have with yourself, as you have outlined here at this forum. You must overcome the fear of losing this female, and do some real work on MAC at this point, as every single time you make contact with her, you have new questions, and are as confused as ever. Go back and read ALL your other questions, and see if you can honestly say you've made progress. Let me know what you think.

That was really well said Tal as usual!

Mckenzie, all your questions and analysing indicate a real fear, fear of losing this girl, you are not even thinking about what you want.

This cannot be done without at least 8 months- A year of no contact. When you are in this situation you can not see it, I was also blinded and my focus was not on myself.

Start to get on with your own life and think just about yourself and in 6months to a year you will be in a much better place to think and make decisions, but I believe you should communicate this with her first, so that she knows where you are at also.

Right now the contact is clouding your judgement.

Mckenzie,

Earlier I had said that if you think she is worth it then take her back... I still believe this but if YOU are skeptical, then do not get back in it. It's easier and wiser to keep taking your time than it is to jump back in only to realize its not going to work. But who knows, say you hold off for 3 1/2 more months... there's no guarantee that you'll know by then what you should do either.

mckenzie134 most people would say that I'm a panzy or a whuss but that's because I'm a hopeless romantic, but Ramblin has a very good point. I just wish I have people to go to when I was were your at instead of firureing it out by myself 4 yrs later. All I'm saying is do what your heart tells you to do.

I haven't had time to read all the replies but here's my 2 sense. She has asked to come back? Well I think you are doing the right thing by telling her that you need time to think about it. Wait a month then at the end of the month tell her that you think it's best for the two of you to spend some more time apart say like 6 months!

I made the mistake of immediately taking my ex back when she broke up with me in the past. I believe that has given her the illusion that it's OK to come and go when it's convenient for her. I have enabled her commitment-phobia! Well if she ever tries to come back again I'll tell her that I think we should remain apart for another 6 months. See what she says to that.

You got to be tough. During those 6 months continue to work on self improvement. If you two still love each other at the end of 6 months then try again real slowly. That means no physical contact except for hugging for at least 6 weeks. No kissing, no sex, no spending the night, no groping but hugging is fine. This will make you more of a challenge and leave her hungry for more. Also you are protecting yourself.

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all I'm saying is do what your heart tells you to do.

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That's exactly why he is in limbo, following his heart, instead of making better decisions from a healthy standpoint, and knowing what he wants and how to get it.

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Dreamguy, I haven't had time to read all the replies but here's my 2 sense. She has asked to come back? Well I think you are doing the right thing by telling her that you need time to think about it. Wait a month then at the end of the month tell her that you think it's best for the two of you to spend some more time apart say like 6 months!

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That sounds like control not love.

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made the mistake of immediately taking my ex back when she broke up with me in the past. I believe that has given her the illusion that it's OK to come and go when it's convenient for her. I have enabled her commitment-phobia! Well if she ever tries to come back again I'll tell her that I think we should remain apart for another 6 months. See what she says to that.

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Sounds like control or revenge, not love

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You got to be tough. During those 6 months continue to work on self improvement. If you two still love each other at the end of 6 months then try again real slowly. That means no physical contact except for hugging for at least 6 weeks. No kissing, no sex, no spending the night, no groping but hugging is fine. This will make you more of a challenge and leave her hungry for more. Also you are protecting yourself.

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Or you wonder where the hell she went and are broken hearted again when she meets a real man that treats her like a lady. love and relationships that are happy don't have the confusion and drama your talking about and healthy relationship don't have one controlling the other. Why not go back to the days when you just hit 'em over the head and drag them to your cave. And you wonder why you have trouble with females???????????

I sαy no.. Being single is so much better plus do you wαnt αll thαt drαmα αgαin?

Well here goes we ended up going out last night for some drinks with some friends and all had a good night. We ended up back at my place and she styed the night. She said she wanted to feel me and well I was a bit hesitant but we ended up going for it anyway. She said she had just needed some time (last 3 1/2 months) to work on herselfand said she was happy that she was more dependent bu missed having me and her life and wanted to see how things go. I said well I've enjoyed the time we spent aprt and have done some things for myself and I'm not exactly ready to rush back into things. I told her 6 months ago I loved you so much but after yourve done all this I'm not sure what's going to happen. Itold her it would be easy to go back to being a couple but am not interested inon and off relationships. She said wel she's sorry but needed to figure out how she felt and she said she justrealise she doesn't want to lose me from her life and I am her best friend and she said its up to you but maybe we can just see how things go for a while. And I said well thsats a good idea Then in the morning I said I had somewhere to be so I dropped her off home gave he a kiss and said bye. So I guess we a rekinda on but ill have to take it slow and see where it takes me I guess. Geez taliman might be right sometimes its easier to just walk away. And if she does come back saying she loves me I would be thinking clearer and no what she wants.

Also Talaniman I don't think I have made much progress in the last 3 months. I now no it would have been in my best interest to walk away from the beginning and leave it me and wait it out. Either way I would have got a clear response what she wanted. All I got in the mean time was her talking dirty on the phone , a one night stand where she told me she had never felt this great to be with me and plenty of uncertainty. How could she say to me one night I haven't felt this good in a long time and then few days later say well I'm not your girl now?? I have looked back on my posts and realise I have been going around in circles for 3 months and still am. I myself may have created all this uncertainty in her every time she did start to miss me I was contacting her which led to more confusion not only for me but for her as well. Which still shows me from my first post I am still left her in in confusion and just after last night this could go on for another 3 months..

I think its time for me to tell her its enough. Its so hard to let someone go from your life who means so much to you what if in another year I regret it, and want her back or want to try again??

She would have certainly lost any feelings she had for me by then wouldn't she??

I realise I'm still on here and still getting your advice and still chasing my tail.

Ill move on with my life which I have put on hold for 3 months and move on now. If I try again and get hurt again where will that leave me. I'm so mad at her case the relationship was going smoothly and she did this. Even after a month apart I wrote in one of my posts how she said she could so easily go back to being a couple with me but it wasn't that easy like that.

Thanks for that reminder Talaniman NO Contact and letting her know what I'm going to do is what I will do now I suppose. Any how after last night I was thinking well we will give it a go. My biggest problem is she is so attractive and I find it hard to let go of that. THANKS.

I know exactly what you're saying - it's really easy to give advice here and the majority of it is good. But at least in my case I think waaaaaay more with my heart than with my head and 99% of the time I'm not like that -only adding to my confusion. Easier to give advice than to take it right?

I've stopped contacting my EX, and left it to her. I know that she's making friends (other guys) and there's nothing I can do about it - I've tried to fight for her but it's not what she wants right now. I even went as far to send her flowers earlier last week and she never even called me to thank me, of course my final message to her yesterday was that I understand it may be difficult for her to contact me right now - and she knows how to get in touch with me if she wants.

Relax Mac, and see what happens. Your both confused.

Im relaxed now will leave it up to her and work on myself for a few weeks, dowhat I should have done long ao but couldn't...

Just continue seeing each other casually and have a good time... No more pressure from here and on... You both need a few good moments together... Maybe that will help the confusion. Try not focusing on the problem, instead try fixing it. And avoid sex for a while. Hopefully she doesn't only want that. Good luck my friend!

Man! I feel for dog! Me and my girl broke up of 7yrs and she took every thing my dreams my hope for her you know, and I too wish there's a day she will see that I was the one for her but what can you do? Now that she left me I have more money and my own place pimp out! But? I still hurt and feel the pain so I use it and work out my hardst and look good for myself, but think you should give it a chance you can never tell,but,but leave a little space in your heart that she might do it again? And if you do get back together? Change it up a little do things you'll never think of doing like shooting each other with paint balls or something

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Originally Posted by Righthearted

I know exactly what you're saying - it's really easy to give advice here and the majority of it is good. But at least in my case I think waaaaaay more with my heart than with my head and 99% of the time I'm not like that -only adding to my confusion. Easier to give advice than to take it right?

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Righthearted, you are so right, I am the same way. It's so easy to follow your heart than with your head. They say your brain can overcome anything, but your heart wants what the heart wants, and it takes time for the heart to heal. Listening to your heart can cause a lot of confusion, and you can dwell on things for a long time.

Even though giving advice is a lot easier than taking it, it helps you heel by giving insight to others and hopefully helping others find the strength to move on. We all must remember to hang in there and better days are ahead.

I'm going through the same thing as the mckenzie and reading what he is going through and the comments he is receiving I feel like a complete idiot always taken my girl back every time she wants time and I'm trying to get married and have kids. My boy am broken up now and I'm glad I got on here Google this question to hear these responses it really help me its not going to be easy but I'm going to do it can't keep hoping I need to know am 32.