Ask Me Help Desk - What should I do about her?

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Originally Posted by deedee06

I really don't agree with the comments saying to leave her alone.

There is a possibility that she is on and off with this guy because she is afraid of change. If this is the case then you have a good chance with her. Next time they are "off" ask her about what happened and talk about it. Let her know you are there for her. And if she gets back together with him and suddenly stops calling you, then confront her about it. Tell her you don't just want to be a convenient friend. If the behavior continues then she probably is just using you for comfort. If she changes though, I would interpret that as a sign that she cares about you and wants you to stick by her.

Eventually, you are going to have to tell her how you feel. But be sure that you are calling her to hang out and PAY for her. Treat it like a date (without the sex...lol) and maybe she will take the hint.

No I disagree with this, she has been with the guy for a while, obviously she has deep relations with the guy, we don't know the boyfriend side of the story, he might be use to the relaitionship, and its old for him, so he is prob not giving this girl, enough attention so she's going to do what anyone else would do and get attention from someone else, what I'm basically trying to say is don't let her charm foo you, I'm pretty sure if she's mature enough she won't want a relathionship anytime soon

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Originally Posted by Stunning07

no i disagree with this, she has been with the guy for a while, obviously she has deep relations with the guy, we dont know the bf side of the story, he might be use to the relaitionship, and its old for him, so he is prob not giving this girl, enough attention so she's going to do waht anyone else would do and get attention from someone else, what im basically trying to say is dont let her charm foo you, im pretty sure if she's mature enough she wont want a relathionship anytime soon

Although she may love the guy... there is a reason why they are on and off. Whatever that may be, eventually, she will move on from him. Of course she will always have feelings for him, she will probably realize that they aren't right for each other. I have had experience with this. My roommate had dated her ex on and off for three years too. She is finally done with him. It takes awhile to move on. But if there is someone there to fall back on and help her not feel so lonely, then it makes it easier. Who said rebounds couldn't turn out to be a great relationship? All I'm saying is be personally intimate with her (be there for her) and nature will take it's course. Treat her right. And make sure she values you as a friend, otherwise it isn't worth it. Hope that clears up what I had said before.

Until she gets healthy, and gets her life together any relationship she has will be rocky at best. As for rebounds, hey sorry, my experience says that's friend zone at best, and things will be great as long as both sides are on the same friendship page. For anyone to invest that much time and emotion on a maybe she will be with you, is a total waste of time an at this point, this female needs so much that she can't get from anyone, but herself. So its time to realize she has to help herself, and you have to help yourself by focusing on your own life and needs.

If she is not off with her boyfriend and asking you to hang out with her in secret... she will probably do this to you eventually too. If she is off with this guy and she is over him and likes you, it shouldn't have to be a secret. But if she is cheating on this boyfriend of hers(which it sounds like she is), then she is not being honest with either one of you. Not a very amazing quality...

Its not in secret... her boyfriend just don't let her go anywhere when he is around... and I told her how I felt and she was like.. dissapointed or confused or maybe both I don't know what that is supposed to mean. And the reason her and her boyfriend are on and off all the time is because he argues with everything she does...

Ask her out

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Originally Posted by cheyenne kelley

ask her out

She has a boyfriend so what would that do?

She may be just needing a friend, and you want more. If you cannot be a friend, leave her alone, as this will get messy and confusing when you can't be more than just a friend.

Is appetizers better or the main dish.. what fills your stomach? Main dish of course right?. so you choose what you want to be.

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Originally Posted by diya

Is appetizers better or the main dish..what fills your stomach? Main dish ofcourse right?..so you choose what you want to be.

What is that supposed to mean? I have no clue.

As a female who has pulled the kind of crap she is pulling many times before, I suggest you forget about her as anything more that a friend. Go out, meet other girls and have fun. She is just a friend who likes to flirt.